I can't dance, going to clubbing

Oh, took that the wrong way I guess. I assumed you meant "pay attention to someone that's not her." You know, because most people think if you ignore a woman she'll come crawling back pining for your attention and love.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Ceres

well I was thinking give her space...and I don't know bout most girls, but I sure enjoy seeing young men interact (positively...not in a sketchy way) with children...it's incrediably appealing to me because I work at a day care...but that's just me...

It's a dangerous ploy and some women just hate kids.

Gaming - But more importantly, progress report please. Let the hand of internet losers guide your hand to a life of love

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Well, the carnaval was interesting and fun.
I focused on helping and watching her cousins, making sure they had fun. I always tried to walk behind/in front with the kids instead of walking beside her. Sometimes she came up to me and started to talk. During the rides, she always made sure the kids had a partner first, ending with she and me riding at the back. During breaks to eat/drink, she pointed at the space beside her so that I could sit next to her. I did that too one time when she was standing.

But I think all of these signals are just because she was trying to be nice.
Also, I won this gigantic puppy that I gave to her

Hmmm, what else...
I got her cousins drinks, gifts, money to play games. I even carried one of the little girls to the parking space at the end of the day.


Here's the interesting part:
She drove me home and right before I was going to get out of the car, she touched my arm and looked at me. It was a few seconds glare (her cousins was sitting in the back), so I kinda just looked into her eyes too... Then I just went out of the car.
We're still going to go out (she told me she was going to mail me, so it's going to be today or saturday).

I still think all of these signals are out of kindness and friendship...

I was speaking idiomatically.

Seriously... don't play hard to get. I think women are more suited for that role, but men? That's just ridiculous in my eyes. If you really like her, show it. But don't be too obvious like stalker like, that'd be creepy. Play it cool. Ignoring her is the worst thing you can do.

On the topic of younger guys, if this girl doesn't like you because you're younger, maybe she's not for you. I know some girls stick to this terrible older guy stigma (I encountered one that solely wants to date guys 5 years older than her!) that makes me want to puke, and their reasoning is terribly outdated and molded by societal traditions. Age, especially two years younger, is not an issue for me. But if she assumes something about your personality that comes with your age, I would put that as a red flag.

Double Post:
Didn't read your latest post. It seemed like the day was successful. Hanging out with her cousins was good; it shows you're caring, good with kids. I would ask her on another date.

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I forgot to mention that this is the like the 3rd or 4th time I've given my shirt to her cousins because they were cold. She has also borrowed my shirt twice.
Some of the times I asked them, sometimes they just took my shirt.

How ya doing, buddy?

Get those shirts back. I fear they are gone forever.

Wow, talk about mixed signals. I can't tell now if she wants to be friends are she wants to get closer to you. Go on a couple more dates then be foward and ask her. Because after another weeks of so if she is still not interested, then honestly, I do not think it is worth it.

ps: Don't tell her, ever, that you have been receiving tips from a gaming site. Don't even drop a hint of it

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Originally Posted by Hydelloon

ps: Don't tell her, ever, that you have been receiving tips from a gaming site. Don't even drop a hint of it

Unless you want to become a (sort of) reincarnate of Densha Otoko.

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Hey man i've dealt with similar situations and i hope i can help with something :

First of all : Going for 'bribery' is not the way to create any feelings, you buying her cousins stuff is not as good as you think it is, and so is giving her the toy you won (Although i support that, since you'd look gay going home with it, but next time use a little care-free approach to giving to her, i hope you didn't give it to her like a Valentine's day gift ) But like i said, 'bribery' most cases gets you nowhere fast and even may backfire. You're better off with what you offer as a person, not a 'provider'.

Second : Don't play hard to get, don't throw yourself at her, and don't wait neutrally for her to 'come and get you' (the chances for that are VERY slim).
Confusing? I'll tell you what works for me alot, try being as cool-headed as possible, but use 'golden moments' like that look in the car, women - unlike men- value looks and body language much higher, and tend to detect them with much higher sensetivity. When you look try to make your look mean something like 'i'm into you' (simply by thinking of it) but not 'I'm desperate for you', it's hard and i sound like i don't know what the hell i'm talking about but believe me it's much easier than you think.
Merely thinking of something while in the moment is usually enough to convey it. But always remember that you kinda 'put yourself out there' and got pushed away, so consider the next try your last and don't put too much hope on it, always think "If it works out then cool, if it doesn't then we're probably not 'compatible' anyway" that should give you a little 'laid-back' mood which shows a little more confidence which is always sexy. Women -as far as my humble experience has shown me- enjoy knowing that you KNOW what you want but don't let what you want degrade you. Before this is taken the wrong way lemme tell you this : Confidence is sexy only when you do show interest, totally ignoring a girl isn't confidence, it's dumb and how can she know that you've not really "ruled her out" instead of just playing it cool?

I guess all i mean to say is, you have to KNOW that you're worthy of her and act upon that, don't be all like "I just did that, will she like me now?", be confident that you have a multitude of great things (And that she at least knows most of them, which is what those signs show, even if they don't mean attraction) Now all you have to do is create some more attraction and act quickly when you see a spark, if that doesn't work then it probably never would have, and you just saved yourself staying lost more...ponder that =) .

Hope that helps at all .. =)

There's nowhere I can't reach.

She wants to go to the beach tomorrow and watch the sunset...
I want to give her a little present or something when I meet her tomorrow. Any suggestions?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Scrap the present, until you're in a full-fledged relationship, did you not read what i said? Bribery doesn't help...!!

Also, tomorrow's 'date' MUST end in a kiss, or else believe me you're very probably off into the friend's zone..

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Save anything from your first date? If so, give her that. It's gotten me a few tears before.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Can any girl on GFF confirm this please? Given the previous happenings, isn't it unwise to give gifts before the relationship is established? How many times have words and actions spoken to you much better than physical gifts (No matter how insiginificant in physical value and significant in emotional value, such as saved stuff from the first date..etc)?

Trust me dude, forget the gifts, you should think for now that YOU are the best you can offer to her, let the gifts come in when they mean more. Like in her birthday or your anniversery.
For now it's a definite don't, trust me.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I agree that bribery isn't the way to go. I've seen so many women use men or stay with men just so they can get as many gifts as they could and then leave. Not say that she would do that, but it's just something to be cautious about. After all, you gave her that stuff animal, so you don't need to shower her with gifts yet.

However, I also agree with vampiro and if you have a little something from the last date, you could give it to her. Or, if you do want to give her something, give her a flower or some candy--but don't go all out and buy her a dozen roses and a box of imported chocolates. That way, it's not so extravagant that she feels guilty or could use you, but it's still semi-romantic and it could blend well with the sunset viewing. Even asking her if she wants to borrow your jacket could be counted as the gift. I know it seems lame, but you're not yet in the relationship and she seems like the romantic type if she likes to watch the sunset.

What I'm saying is, you really shouldn't give her an extravagent gift that will last for a long time. However, if you are one of those people that HAS to give her something, make sure it's small, inexpensive, and can't be taken back to a store in exchange for cash (a poem, the jacket offer, etc.). I've seen too many men hurt by this and too many women corrupted by it.

Definitely try to sneak in a kiss if you can. You don't even have to start off full-lips, you could just sneak one on the cheek or a kiss on the hand to coarse her into kissing. If she rests her head on your shoulder, sneak one in on the head or forehead. Hopefully, this will cause her to give you a full view of her face and lean in for the main kiss (it also keeps her from freaking out since you've basically gave her hints to what you want to do).

Good luck.

FELIPE NO

Yeah see what i mean.. Visavi paid attention to a detail i totally missed, cuz she's a girl and like i said, females detect stuff more accuarately.. That she sounds romantic And you wanting to give her gifts also means you're a bit romantic too, at least that's how we guys try to get romantic. So she sound slike a perfect fit for you and i need to shut up :P .. Just don't go overboard with anything.

Nice Visavi, discussing stuff like this does help, i should pay more attention to shit like that in real life myself !

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Giving her a bunch of gifts might make her feel uncomfortable. I know that I would feel awkward if a guy gave me a present everytime we hung out.

I think Visavi has given you some great advice. Try and sneak a kiss on her forehead or cheek. Honestly, a forehead kiss has always seemed like the cutest thing a guy could do. It shows that you really like her and care about her.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by CryHavoc

Yeah see what i mean.. Visavi paid attention to a detail i totally missed, cuz she's a girl and like i said, females detect stuff more accuarately.. That she sounds romantic And you wanting to give her gifts also means you're a bit romantic too, at least that's how we guys try to get romantic. So she sound slike a perfect fit for you and i need to shut up :P .. Just don't go overboard with anything.

Nice Visavi, discussing stuff like this does help, i should pay more attention to shit like that in real life myself !

Thanks, I'm a female with more male friends, so I try to get into both minds in order to help them. I think you made a good point about avoiding gifts, but there are men--like some of my male friends--who feel that they have to give/buy a girl something on the first date or else they feel rude. Small things like flowers or candy can be romantic, or even a poem. However, gifts aren't necessary for the first date.

Originally Posted by christinajon

Giving her a bunch of gifts might make her feel uncomfortable. I know that I would feel awkward if a guy gave me a present everytime we hung out.

I think Visavi has given you some great advice. Try and sneak a kiss on her forehead or cheek. Honestly, a forehead kiss has always seemed like the cutest thing a guy could do. It shows that you really like her and care about her.

Thanks. The idea of receiving a lot of gifts without giving back in return would make me feel guilty, but I know quite a few girls who will actually forbid to tell a guy she's not interested in him b/c she wants more gifts. I got the idea of the forehead kiss from a former crush that decided to go out with a friend of mine. The guy is Catholic, so whenever my friend was sitting down, he would either stand up or walk over to her and kiss her forehead.

How ya doing, buddy?

Quote:

Thanks. The idea of receiving a lot of gifts without giving back in return would make me feel guilty, but I know quite a few girls who will actually forbid to tell a guy she's not interested in him b/c she wants more gifts. I got the idea of the forehead kiss from a former crush that decided to go out with a friend of mine. The guy is Catholic, so whenever my friend was sitting down, he would either stand up or walk over to her and kiss her forehead.

Yeah, I hate it when someone gives me a gift and I don't have one to give back. I feel selfish. Oh well.

My ex always used to kiss my forehead, and a good friend of mine has done it a couple of times. It's a really sweet thing to do.

How ya doing, buddy?

If you must give a gift, give a single flower, but not a rose. I feel like a rose is too early in the relationship; it also might give her a signal that you're moving too fast. Give something summery, like a lily or daisy or something. I would like that more than a rose. That is, unless you know for sure she likes you. Watching a sunset with you is a sure sign she's hinting at you, and if that's the case, by all means I would give her a rose, maybe even a red rose.

If she's not interested, gifts will definitely lead to awkwardness. But I think a gift will be fine.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Change of plans guys.
She was busy today, so she asked if we could go to the beach tomorrow instead. I said yes.
But I'm going to San Diego Zoo first, before I meet her tomorrow. Would it be a good idea to get her a little gift from the zoo? I really don't know what they sell in there besides stuffed animals and t-shirts.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I love how you're ignoring every piece of advice not according to your wuss-built mind.

If you wanna look like a kiss-ass pussy go ahead.

Wtf is the point asking advice when you're not gonna take it, you idiot? It's like talking to a brick wall, god you remind me of my cousin.

What a douchebag...
Go ahead get her a gift. I'd advise you to buy her a car while you're at it, and why not offer to clean her house every day when she ain't there? How about taking the laundry out for her?

My god, where are the real men??!!

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Hmmm...
Sorry about that then. But she does know that I'm going to the zoo. In fact, she were going to go too, but something came up. I just figured it would be nice to bring her something nice and little back from the zoo.

FELIPE NO

Dude where is your backbone? Don't apologize ,be a real man, do whatever you feel that is necessary. Advice is there to pick and determine which is useful for yourself.

Here is my two cents...
Who cares if she knows you are going to the zoo? A gift isn't necessary, just show her pics or something of what you did there...and HENCE a good way to spend time with her by instigating conversation of your experiences in person. I personally like conversations that kill time (usually taking hours...wondering if this is a bad thing?) with the opposite sex. Then recommend dinner afterwards and have a great time one on one. It is nice to have some quiet time afterall rather than going from place and event.

Though anyone could help me out just to clarify from a girl's perspective since I never asked...do they they enjoy long haphazard conversations? (usually when I sit down and chat with one...they usually last 3-6 hours...).

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

A bit late on this, but this thread is ANGST material. Moved.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by valiant

Dude where is your backbone? Don't apologize ,be a real man, do whatever you feel that is necessary. Advice is there to pick and determine which is useful for yourself.

Here is my two cents...
Who cares if she knows you are going to the zoo? A gift isn't necessary, just show her pics or something of what you did there...and HENCE a good way to spend time with her by instigating conversation of your experiences in person. I personally like conversations that kill time (usually taking hours...wondering if this is a bad thing?) with the opposite sex. Then recommend dinner afterwards and have a great time one on one. It is nice to have some quiet time afterall rather than going from place and event.

Though anyone could help me out just to clarify from a girl's perspective since I never asked...do they they enjoy long haphazard conversations? (usually when I sit down and chat with one...they usually last 3-6 hours...).

It depends on the girl. As long as the conversation is interesting and they get to add to it then it could be enjoyable. I do agree that if you really want to get her a gift from the zoo, pictures would probably be the best thing since they are not expensive and allows her to believe that you care enough about her to think of her in taking pictures with a less chance of her expecting expensive gifts. Besides, the pictures could tempt her for future dates that may include the zoo, and if you already buy her one thing from the zoo, then what are you going to do if you do become a couple?

However, like Cry Havoc said, you REALLY don't need to give her a gift since you're not dating yet. I know that some people find it very hard not to shower people with gifts, but it will let you know the real her and she won't feel guilty about receiving the gift. Also, it keeps you from thinking back and saying, "I can't believe I wasted $25 and she still turned me down."

There's nowhere I can't reach.

There's no need to get her a zoo gift: it doesn't seem personal. A gift that relates to your visit to the zoo without her is going to end up in a corner of her room. Just do something with her.

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