Have you/would you stay with someone if they cheated?

Somehow I am reminded of Technophile and his thread about "sex and relationships."

If you want to start a thread about opinions, you should keep your mind open to what they have to say. Its an open discussion, not a debate (its not the political place.) While you can voice your thoughts on the matter, it should not come at the expense of the views of other members.

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So in all fairness, what exactly is your situation? You have got us all tied up but now things are more civil and relaxed. Maybe if we knew your situation better we could see your side of the argument better.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I'm actually on Alice's side here. There is virtue in trust but people make mistakes and have moments of weakness. It is naive to think that trust is unbreakable and that your significant other or better half will remain eternally faithful. However, on the flip side, you know yourself the best. If you know you are the type of person who gets easily jealous and don't forgive people easily, cheating would effect you more adversely than someone who is more laid back and open minded about sexual experimentation.

Alice's final statement about security really struck a chord with me. Security in a relationship and in general doesn't come from other people or other factors but it comes from within. No doubt, cheating is a big deal but it will work to test your tolerance of emotional pain, capacity to change and the willingness to forgive. For those who haven't been cheated on (I'm assuming there are several of you in the thread), just know that until you experience it yourself it is quite a rude awakening. The values you once set for your relationships will change unless you were absolutely secure and confident to begin with.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'm glad you cleared things up Sword Familiar. For the most part, I feel that people contributing to the thread have spoken through hypotheticals. Of course we can all say what we would and should do if cheating happenes, but when you are caught in the moment, you don't think so clearly. You do things that arent characteric to you and you alter your values. Its easy for someone to say that they would never ever tolerate cheating, but if you found someone you truly loved (not neccessarily the perfect person keep in mind) I am sure the story would go differently. Your story outlined that to me (or at least I think.) For some, strong feelings and unwillingness to let go may lead you to stick it through. Its different for different people. What I'm really trying to say is that cheating is circumstantial, as you have mentioned, but also hard to predict one's reaction to.

In any case, my statement was not directly specifically towards you but I'm glad someone responded.

As for sexual experimentation, there are some people I know who prefer multiple partners or open relationships. Not really my thing but theres an alternative to monogamy that isnt being single.

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-_-;;;

Ooops.

How ya doing, buddy?