[Amusing] I have a broken controller because...

In the video game realm there are many things that can easily piss you off. An untimely death, pressing the wrong buttons and the wrong time, and evil ass enemies that you just CANNOT stand.

After playing MegaMan 9, I figured a good post would be "Things that almost made you break your controller. Here's my list

Excuse ALL the grammatical errors, I wrote this when I was way ..WAY too tired, but enjoy- I also know you guys hate lists, but I figured it'd make a more interesting discussion that games that are coming out in the future.

Number 5
Super Mario Brothers 3- Big 'Fish' Bertha

Mario was a lovely game , it was the game that possessed my mind as a kid. It was one of those games that you just had to love everything about it.
Then World 3 came along. I remember enjoying the experience when I was first going through the stages, until I ran into Big 'Fish' Bertha.
You have no idea how many times this thing ate me from high elevations with it's Michael Jordan jumping skills. I'd be at the highest point of the level, afraid to move....then the level would slowly sink and BOOM I disappear into the fish's mouth.

I hate you Bertha, luckily
I saved my cloud skips just for you

Number 4
Maester Seymour - Final Fantasy X

Not only did I completely dislike the character design for this guy, but his voice was horrid as well, but when it came down to business this guy did NOT fuck around.
Granted, I'm not the biggest Final Fantasy fan out there, so I probably suck more than most at these games, but I know my way around an RPG, and what I knew.....was completely torn apart by this guy.
It took me so long to finally beat this guy that's it's embarrassing to think of how many times he killed my entire party.
You know how it feels when you think you're doing good against an enemy, Then they just destroy you moments later?

Sphere Grid was bull ****

[Number 3
Donkey Kong Country 2, Mine-Carting

Imagine you're in Jr High and you have this big ugly kid around that always treats you like crap. Sometimes you don't want to school just because of this kid, until that one day you get the courage and punch him in the face, knocking him out with that lucky shot.
That is almost exactly how this level play out. It looks like it'd be easy to do , just jumping over obstacles that get your way, but they always just end up killing you.
You'd get so many game overs at this level, that the game over screen would annoy after awhile and it's a cute picture :'(.
There was no 'skill' at these levels, there is just pure luck. When you see the end of the level, you wonder how on earth you made it there, still shaking from not hitting that 'last guy' a few seconds ago.

These levels made me want to hit player 2
every time I died...Oh yeah,
if you're 'player two' you're a douche

[Number 2
Resident Evil 3 - Anything with god damn Nemesis

You know you're getting yourself into a world of horror when you put in a classic Resident Evil disc. You know something is going to come out of every corner just to try an killer you. After awhile the games become predictable and easy to get around.
Nemesis on the other hand is a little bitch- He's hard to kill and he likes to kill you, which is completely ****ty in the world of Resident Evil.
I still don't know how to beat this guy, apparently there were 'dodge functions you could use in the game, but I never understood how.
The only way I finally beat this game, was with a Gameshark. I felt cheap for doing it but there was no other way for me to get passed his craziness difficulty.

Oh yeah, screw that water puzzle
at the end of the game as well.

[Number 1
Water Levels

I don't think I could show my frustration for the these levels without breaking a controller. These are the most annoying things in video games ever created. I don't see why someone thought swimming through a level would be fun.
Not only are the levels boring and slow paced, they add that slow atmospheric music that could put anyone who just woke up back into a cold sleep.
Most of the time, these water levels start out easy. You'll go through them like nothing and forget about them (like you should)...but somewhere, somewhere in that game, there's a bitch of a water level just waiting to take you and destroy your clear minded conscience and turn you into a person that will rip apart anyone that bothers you while trying to complete 'whichever' level it is.

.....I don't have smart ass thing to say here
..god damn water levels!!!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Honestly, the only thing that ever made me angry enough to nearly break a controller was losing at a multiplayer game to someone who gloats. At least in a single player game my failure and shame is my own, but when someone else sees it, capitalizes, and then rubs it in. Oooh, fuck. I've come close to breaking that shit on people's skulls.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Gill in Street Figher 3 has made me hit my arcade stick a lot harder and more often than I'd like. If replacing it were cheaper, I'd probably have nuked it by now.

Also, Gran Turismo 2 didn't make me break the controller...I had much more fun destroying the disc itself.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The elevator level in DKC1 where you had to collect gas barrels so the small platform you're on keeps moving and doesn't drop.

Collecting the barrels was not that hard so much as managing to hold down the Y button through the whole level without letting go. If you let go, you usually pressed Y again right away, making DK and Diddy roll forward, which usually resulted in you flinging yourself off the elevator to your death.

I eventually had to tape down my Y button because the contacts started getting weak and every now and then the game would register me letting go of the button and then pressing down again, once more activating instant barrel roll to death.

I was speaking idiomatically.

The trick to Donkey Kong Country 2 is to run and hit jump every time you reach the edge of a platform, the timing of every moving thing that kills you in the game is set up to facilitate speed runs. I don't remember ever having a problem with the minecart levels at all.

Any game with a long time between respawn points (Or no respawning at all) is pretty frustrating. There's a section in the sports centre level of Rainbow 6 Vegas 2 which is very long, featuring three big fights between checkpoints. Playing through on your own on realistic mode can be insanely frustrating as it takes only one bullet to kill you, throwing you back to the start of the secton again.

Likewise, the 24 Le Mans races in GRID can be fucking annoying as once you crash, there's no chance of you catching up again and the rubber-banding keeps the AI cars right on your tail the whole time. They also have a tendency to nudge you on their way past, slamming you off the road in the process and although you can rewind and retry the section, you run out of flashbacks pretty quickly on the higher skill levels.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Mario Kart Wii has given me more than enough moments when I've reached the later part of the game, especially in 150cc and Mirror Mode. Random shit just keeps flying at you when you have an insane lead and it's suddenly gone the moment three red shells hit you in succession and you're stopped with a blue shell just before the finish line.

I started playing Tekken 5 again in midst of an arcade near me getting Tekken 6. Since I was never very good at Tekken, I'd figure I'd get a little practice in so I could at least hold my own in the arcade. I don't know how many times I've slammed the controller down after Jinpachi rapes me for the billionth time in Story Mode. I could only imagine how badly Azazel (the new final round of Tekken 6) will beat me. I mean, he's the size of True Ogre from Tekken 3 with the cheapness of Jinpachi. Can it get much worse?

I'm actually surprised I haven't broken sensors at the arcade for how many missed AAA/Quad Star attempts I've missed in DDR/ITG. When you get to a certain point, you really just want to perfect a song with little trouble. You could have all the rhythm in the world, but the moment you get that Great/Excellent the world collapses and you just flip out. I've done it a bunch of times since the machine won't give my sympathy at all.

FELIPE NO

I throw my drumsticks while playing Rock Band, when I continually fail certain songs on hard difficulty, at roughly the same spot in the song each time. I used to fail Don't Fear the Reaper at something like 93% on the first Rock Band before I finally managed to beat it. On Rock Band 2, I managed to fail Ace of Spaces on hard drums quite a few times between 30 and 40% before I was able to get the proper rhythm down. I do my best to control my rage though, as I always throw my drumsticks into my couch, causing no damage to anything in the process. I get mad when I am holding the proper rhythm but the game doesn't register my hit, breaking my 450 note streak even though I am holding the same damned rhythm. Thanks, terrible default Rock Band drum kit.

I have never thrown a controller, but I have tossed it aside onto my couch, again causing no damage to anything. I may get mad at a game (or in the case of an online game, other players aka cheaters) but I do not lose control.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Mario Party.

Need I say more?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Capo

Mario Party.

Need I say more?

Well, er... yes, you do. Listing games without an explanation has been counted as spam here for as long as I can remember.

How ya doing, buddy?

Well then:

Mario Party had several mini-games that necessitated rapid rotation of the N64 controller's analog stick. Besides causing blisters, this proved to be destructive to the already fragile analog stick, rendering it all but useless after a few months play. It would sit there, lazing off-center, a sad reminder of countless hours wasted trying to make a little bird-robot-thing fly across the room.

I thought this was fairly well-known, but I'm liable to forget the wide demographic this site reaches after being away for quite literally weeks! My sincerest apologies, Shin.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The Nemesis in RE 3 wasn't actually that bad once you got to know the areas and his tactics. For instance, when he's charging at you he will always try to use his right hand to punch you, so you just need to know which direction he's coming from and then move to his right (your left) so you run straight under his arm as he raises it up to smash you Hulk style. This would get you passed him unscathed, and without using up any precious ammo, and he'd end up wasting time punching thin air and then having to turn around to come back after you. I got so good at cutting the turns and camera changes just right that I was able to out run him every time.

The choice sequences that occurred were more of a trial and error thing where you sometimes had to wait a certain amount of time to get the best attack or counterattack off on the Nemesis to stun him for awhile. If you weren't using a FAQ or anything it would be impossible to tell how long to wait on most of them. The Nemesis was definitely intimidating at first since he was like a faster version of the tyrant that would stalk you on the Game B missions in Resident Evil 2, and I hated that guy with a passion even though he too became easy to dodge since he's lift his arms up real high before striking most of the time giving you an easy opener to pass by him. Still all he took was some simple observations of his attack patterns and then he became a cinch to avoid. It makes me wonder how he compares to Pyramid Head from Silent Hill 2 since I've never played that game, but read enough to understand that he usually shows up at the worst moments.

For me, fighting games have become so frustrating to the point that I don't play them anymore. I'm actually surprised that I didn't break any of my controllers when I used to play them because I did get very frustrated and would be trying to rip the controller in two different directions after some cheap losses to the CPU characters. I think I lost that extra dexterity needed for my fingers to play fighting games at least decently and since then, they've never carried that same level of interest that I had back in the days of MK 1 at the arcades.

Most amazing jew boots

I must have broken hundreds of pounds worth of stuff over the years.


One of the first instances I remember was intentionally creating a deep scratch on my Virtua Fighter disc because of that Pai slapper and her punch punch punch sweeps.

I've broken two game boy advances over mario kart. Like Chaotic said, getting hit by red shells over and over just makes you crack.

I punched my bobble bobble/rainbow islands collection disc to death after dying over and over to the vampire boss on level three.

I managed to actually crush a microsoft sidewinder pad in my hands by compressing it sideways. That was subspace/continuum, the online game.

There's probably more I can't remember.

I've punched holes in walls and doors and stuff too. Normally I don't have a temper, it's only games that manage to do this to me. It's hereditary. I'm actually afraid of beating my brother at games because he gets so wound up. The last time we were playing on the LAN he had in his loft, I was giving him a hammering on Quake 2 and from behind me I suddenly heard the sound of a printer getting the shit kicked out of it.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Kolba.

I think you need to take some anger management classes.

It's just a game, man.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I only get seriously pissed off with games to that extent with multiplayers. I have a terrible competitive streak in me that comes out in sports and videogames, and I just can't stand to lose. Games like Tekken, DOA2, hell even CTR has driven me to despair this way. It's okay with the latter these days though. I fucking rock at CTR.

FELIPE NO

Well, I haven't broken anything for ages. It could be because a) I've calmed down; or b) I'm avoiding the annoying games.

Actually no. I've been playing Castlevania PSP and it really pissed me off on occasion. I've had to stop myself headbutting the screen. So the answers probably more like c) I'm only too aware that money isn't as plentiful nowadays.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Goldeneye on 00 Agent is probably the most bloody infuriating game I've played. Aztec was probably the worst stage, especially because at the very end you have to climb up a ladder, and while doing so you will almost inevitably get shot in the arse by a bunch of angry guards with lasers. That level took at least a hundred tries and at least one broken controller to finish.

Oh yeah, while it isn't as painful as Aztec, Control isn't fun either. QUIT DYING NATALYA D:<

How ya doing, buddy?

The only controller I broke was my N64 default system controller. The joystick is pretty fragile apparently. But the games that ruined it was Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask. The former has you running all over hyrule as a kid and Majora's Mask is just frustrating since the time limit pushes you to the edge. :\ Other than that, maybe Adventure Bug Racing or Super Mario 64 and those damn air levels.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Trying to beat the devil in Guitar Hero 3 on expert was retarded. Your victory was dependent on luck as opposed to skill, and luck was never on your side. It's just shitty.

Mario Party and Mario Kart have inspired thrown wavebirds, punched chests, and ruined evenings. Less so on my part, and moreso on my friends back in school. We'd play every other day, and every time there would be screaming, hating, and murderous intent directed at one another. Come from behind victories were the biggest culprit. It was still fun, but man there was some serious anger at times.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I've been playing Megaman X6 for a few days and I must admit, if ever a game has made me want to break something this would be it.

Trying to save a lone reploid and get a sub tank who are stuck on a fucking ledge that's just a bit too far away before one of the enemies I can't see because the lighting in Commander Yammark stage is being a bitch is one of the most frustrating game experiences I've had in a while.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Ninja Gaiden pissed me off so much that I ripped my printer out while it was still plugged in, hurled it into the wall, kicked it out in the hallway, and beat the living shit out of it with a metal pipe. People gathered to watch but had to leave because tiny flying parts were starting to give the standby-ers small cuts.

It worked, because I felt loads better after that.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Ace Combat Zero last lv (fighting against the super plane "morgan" I took it down 2 times and it came right back, but with a ecm that makes any missile not aimed right just not it and I was about out of missiles then. Happened to many times like that I damage the grip on my controller because of that

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I have never, ever, resorted to anything quite so childishly fucktarded as chucking a controller out of frustration and I don't understand people who do this. Seriously, do you people handle your rage like this in other situations, too? Do you furiously hurl your power tools against the garage floor when you realise your circular saw is dulled? Do you wail and grind your teeth against your credit card when it's maxed out? Get a goddamn grip on reality.

That said, I've wrecked a few N64 controllers in the past from overuse. Only one of my control sticks still has any springiness to it (no doubt as a result of the original Mario Party).

FELIPE NO

I've never thrown or broken anything because of frustration at a video game. It seems silly to get worked up enough to lose control like that over a game. Sure it might feel good for a minute, but then the realization that I'd have to buy a new one would probably just make me angrier.

Trauma Center: Under the Knife has definitely inspired the most rage. Just barely failing a surgery, especially near the end or from some unforeseen complication, was sometimes enough to make me want to drive the stylus into the screen. Normally I'd just keep trying for hours until I'd get it right, but with Trauma Center my number of tries was limited a bit by how long I could play before my hand was too unsteady.

The first Fire Emblem game on GBA was evil too. Near the end of the game I'd spend 2 hours completing a map only to find that I had a 70% chance at best to survive fighting the boss. God help anyone who didn't recruit Canas the Shaman near the beginning.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I get frustrated when I play video games, yes; this much I'll admit. But I have never willingly broken a controller in rage resulting from a failure in a game. There is, however, one time when I did blow up during a game but, in my defense, I was having a bad acid trip.

I took LSD at a rave back in 1997 and I was having horrible hallucinations. I eventually ended up being carried to my friend's Ralph's car to be driven to his house. By the time I was on the comedown I wasn't hallucinating as badly but I was still in a somewhat panicked state. We got to his house, I threw up outside and was dumped on the living room couch. I didn't sleep but I don't remember any of what happened next. Apparently the boys started playing Super Mario Kart on the SNES and I wanted to play. So I started playing and the track we raced on was one of the Chocolate Plains tracks where the Monty Moles jump out of the ground and stick to the front of your kart. Apparently this REALLY FUCKING SURPRISED ME and I reportedly panicked that the mole was going to eat me and started yelling for him to get the fuck off my kart. I was told I threw the controller at the television breaking it and I rolled myself into a ball to cry myself to sleep.

I never did LSD ever again.

Jam it back in, in the dark.