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Creepers and how to politely deal with them.
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Mercury Blue
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Old May 17, 2010, 03:44 PM Local time: May 17, 2010, 02:44 PM #1 of 18
Creepers and how to politely deal with them.

I have nothing against people dating someone a lot older than them, but for me if they are old enough to be my dad, it's creepy when they start hitting on me or asking me out.

Usually I can handle myself pretty well with them. "Can I take you out to dinner?" "Sorry, I am going to be busy the next two weeks with school." Or whatever else I can tell them to make it clear I am too busy. Usually they get the hint and don't try again. However this one guy will not get the hint. The first time he asked me out, I changed the subject. The second time he went to my mother and hint to her, she hint back a h*ll no. I frankly don't want to even be friends with him just because he creeps me out. We never really talk and he is A LOT older than me, like 21 years older than me. He just keeps coming up with excuses and reason to talk to me and I have tried avoiding him, but it's like his creep radar knows everything about me and the people I hang out with, yet I know very little about him.

So what I am trying to figure what is a politely yet firm way of making him understand it ain't ever gonna happen, dude. Or I am going to have to say the hell with politely and just be all "Quit it!". I hate for him to get even creepier and then try murdering me or something.

Ideas?

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Old May 17, 2010, 03:51 PM Local time: May 17, 2010, 01:51 PM 4 #2 of 18
You haven't told him no.

Try it.

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Crash "Long-Winded Wrong Answer" Landon
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Old May 17, 2010, 03:57 PM 9 #3 of 18
"No" may be too subtle for this person. This is a guy who went to someone's mom looking for a foot in the door.

You might want to try a more direct "Go fuck yourself, you delusional pedophile."

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
Midna
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Old May 17, 2010, 04:06 PM Local time: May 17, 2010, 02:06 PM #4 of 18
"No" may be too subtle for this person. This is a guy who went to someone's mom looking for a foot in the door.

You might want to try a more direct "Go fuck yourself, you delusional pedophile."
It may be too subtle, but if she won't address him directly and say she's not interested, then how can she fairly label him and make statements about his character being so flawed he could stalk or kill her?

Just grow a pair, say no, then if he continues to be creepy get a restraining order or something.

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Old May 17, 2010, 04:11 PM Local time: May 17, 2010, 02:11 PM #5 of 18
Wait... How old are YOU?

I was speaking idiomatically.
Midna
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Old May 17, 2010, 04:14 PM Local time: May 17, 2010, 02:14 PM #6 of 18
In her journal she said she's 23.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
Mercury Blue
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Old May 17, 2010, 04:14 PM Local time: May 17, 2010, 03:14 PM #7 of 18
I am twenty-three.

What I know of his character is through mutual friends and the few times I have talked to him I always came away creeped out.

How ya doing, buddy?
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Old May 17, 2010, 04:33 PM Local time: May 17, 2010, 01:33 PM #8 of 18
Tell him flat out "No."

If that doesn't work, elaborate "No, because quite frankly, you creep me out. Your stalkerish behavior quite frankly scares the hell out of me and I have no intention of dating my father. Now go away."

Sometimes it takes being brutally honest to get through to someone.

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Old May 17, 2010, 04:42 PM Local time: May 17, 2010, 02:42 PM #9 of 18
I'm in for the "I appreciate the compliment, but NO." If he continues to stalk you, you have every right to report to the appropriate officials.

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Sarag
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Old May 17, 2010, 06:21 PM #10 of 18
You've already attempted to be polite. There is no more need for politeness.

Also, after you tell him to buzz off, if I were you I wouldn't be around the guy alone ever again. If somebody's giving you the creeps, don't ignore it.

Additional Spam:
By the way, you don't even owe him an explanation. if you're not comfortable telling him, when he asks, tell him it's none of his goddamn business what reasons you have.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Last edited by Sarag; May 17, 2010 at 06:22 PM. Reason: This member got a little too post happy.
Crash "Long-Winded Wrong Answer" Landon
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Old May 17, 2010, 06:28 PM 2 #11 of 18
Just grow a pair
You're telling a girl to grow a pair?

Do you realize how inherently fucked up that is?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
Midna
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Old May 17, 2010, 06:42 PM Local time: May 17, 2010, 04:42 PM 3 #12 of 18
You're telling a girl to grow a pair?

Do you realize how inherently fucked up that is?
Are you serious?

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Old May 17, 2010, 06:54 PM 16 #13 of 18


I was speaking idiomatically.
slessman
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Old Aug 23, 2010, 11:59 PM #14 of 18
Well, I think that you should always try and avoid contact with people like this. Obviously this person is not receptive and will probably stop at nothing to get his way. I have met people like this in college and I believe that the best way is to be direct when encountered. If he still comes around after you have blatantly stated that you do not want him around then you should go to your local police department and see what they can do for you.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
Crowdmaker
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Old Jan 15, 2012, 04:37 AM #15 of 18
I guess it's mostly already been said - say you aren't interested, and keep it moving. You've gotta sound like there's no room for interpretation when you say it, but otherwise, most people usually don't go further after that and will leave you alone.

However, it seems like on some level you find older men gross. That sounds vaguely unfair, because you can meet nice people of any age, and that's gotta be the most important thing about a person. But you're free to move away from people you don't like, you just can't be rude about it. Be as pleasant as your mood can allow you to be, and get your message across.

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Old Jan 21, 2012, 07:19 AM Local time: Jan 21, 2012, 01:19 PM 3 #16 of 18
You might want to try a more direct "Go fuck yourself, you delusional pedophile."
LOL, irony.

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bahamuty
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Old Feb 14, 2012, 01:02 AM #17 of 18
I think he knows exactly what he's doing by continually pestering you and is probably a creeper. Because if you were interested you'd be like "Hey sorry I had to turn down your invite before but I'm free on this day wanna get together?" You wouldn't be continually turning him down and changing the subject. You could always try a more direct turn down that's still polite. "No thanks, well I gotta go to class." Kinda thing.

How often are you forced to see him? If it's not very often just keep blowing him off and get away as quickly as possible until you don't have to see him anymore. If circumstances allow (meaning he can't confirm what about about to say) pretend you just got a boyfriend and just gush over your new bf every time he talks to you. He's not going to want to hear about that everytime you talk.

Edit: So tired I didn't notice the original post date. I bet your free of Mr. Creeper by now.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Last edited by bahamuty; Feb 14, 2012 at 01:06 AM.
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