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Double Standards
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Alice
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 10:31 AM #1 of 61
Double Standards

A discussion on my morning radio show got me thinking about this today. Adult women are allowed to make sexually suggestive comments about young (teenage) boys, but when grown men admit to finding a teenage girl sexually attractive, they're labeled as perverts.

I have to admit that this is something I'd never really given much thought to before. I work with a bunch of women ranging in age from 25 to 40, and we do it all the time, and no one raises an eyebrow, but - heaven forbid - if one of my male co-workers ever made a comment like, "If I was ten years younger I'd show her a thing or two," and directed it toward, say, our 19-year-old college intern, I guarantee you from that moment on he'd be considered the office creep.

On the flip side, my husband has told me many times that during his teenage years, the ultimate fantasy for him and his friends was to hook up with an older woman, but I can tell you from the female perspective that young women/teenage girls don't usually fantasize about older men (in general) unless they're celebrities or someone the girl knows personally.

What's up with this double standard? Also, discuss any other double standards that irritate you.

Jam it back in, in the dark.
Aardark
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 10:39 AM Local time: Jul 20, 2006, 05:39 PM #2 of 61
Originally Posted by HotOrNot FAQ
A group picture of a group of females out on the town, posing and acting whacky, and seemingly “grabby” isn’t lewd, it is what it is, a happy, zany group having fun. That same picture, with a male or two, lewdly cupping a breast and winking or leering at the camera, is what it is, a reject!
What the fuck, right? Lesbians are A-OK: everyone likes pussy. They're just having fun. ^____^ Fags, though? No way, gross.

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Old Jul 20, 2006, 10:53 AM Local time: Jul 20, 2006, 04:53 PM #3 of 61
Originally Posted by Aardork
What the fuck, right? Lesbians are A-OK: everyone likes pussy. They're just having fun. ^____^ Fags, though? No way, gross.
Err, as I understand it, they mean if there were any guys in addition to the group of girls. Not a group of guys.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

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Aardark
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 10:56 AM Local time: Jul 20, 2006, 05:56 PM #4 of 61
Hah, you are right, I misunderstood what they meant then. Either way, though, I know people who actually do think like that, and it's kind-of annoying.

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russ
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 11:00 AM Local time: Jul 20, 2006, 10:00 AM #5 of 61
I like it when I'm dating someone and I'm not allowed any contact with any other girls without having to deal with jealousy issues, but then the girl I'm dating leaves me for another girl. What is that about.

How ya doing, buddy?
I didn't say I wouldn't go fishin' with the man.
All I'm sayin' is, if he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 11:13 AM #6 of 61
Or like how parrents are all like "dont swear, its bad" or "dont smoke, its bad for you" then they do it them selves. i dont do either of those things, but its still dumb.

life is full of these things.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
Alice
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 11:13 AM #7 of 61
Quote:
Do you take up with dikes on a regular basis, russ?
I can answer that for you. Yes.

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russ
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 11:14 AM Local time: Jul 20, 2006, 10:14 AM #8 of 61
In all honesty, it has been more than two years since I dated an English major or psycho\art major.

Also, I like how guys can sleep around and no one really says anything negative about them, but if girls sleep around, they're labeled whores or sluts. Good job society.

How ya doing, buddy?
I didn't say I wouldn't go fishin' with the man.
All I'm sayin' is, if he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 11:16 AM #9 of 61
Originally Posted by russ
Also, I like how guys can sleep around and no one really says anything negative about them, but if girls sleep around, they're labeled whores or sluts. Good job society.
no, its worse then that. guys get looked up to for that stuff. im a guy and stuff like this still pissed me off.

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Eleo
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 11:32 AM #10 of 61
In a way I look at male/female sexuality as not quite the same. I mean, men have a penis, which gives. Women have a vagina, which receives. So it's almost like a woman has to let you while a guy has to ask. I think there's something subconsciously associated with this somehow, which might be why a guy couldn't say he wants to bang a younger woman while a woman could.


Also, my dad said when he was young, he had a crush on an older Jewish lady :-/ I think a lot of younger men do have a thing for older women. In fact it was the topic of an episode of That 70's Show. Kelso ended up touching Kitty on the ass in the supermarket.

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Crash "Long-Winded Wrong Answer" Landon
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 11:58 AM #11 of 61
The double standard that annoyed me for the longest time is the "asking-out" ritual. Under most circumstances, the male is expected to ask the female for a date. We're supposed to step it up and make the first move because women are vain creatures who need to feel desired.

This would be fine, if not for the fact that so many women play it coy and do their damnedest to appear wholly disinterested. It's aggravating to know that we men are expected to be mindreaders and that the reason you came back for an extra packet of sugar is because you want to be asked out. How the fuck are we supposed to know this? To us, it looks like your coffee wasn't sweet enough.

I absolutely hate learning that a girl was interested me, well after the fact that she's given up and moved on. I may not be the best at flirting, but I'm capable of picking up basic clues. Help us out, ladies. Don't sit there all shy, playing impossible-to-get, then bitch and whine when we don't notice you.

If a man likes a woman, he's expected to say something, right? Well if a woman likes a man, she should get off her fucking ego-trip and speak up. It'll cut through a lot of ridiculous gesturing and the two of them can actually be happy together. *GASP*

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Old Jul 20, 2006, 12:03 PM Local time: Jul 20, 2006, 06:03 PM #12 of 61
Mainly it's because adult women do not run around raping 14 years old boys?

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Eleo
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 12:11 PM #13 of 61
Okay but if they tried to, it would be totally hot. I mean unless their not attractive. But if they were, it would be totally hot. In fact it would probably get legalized ASAP.

I was speaking idiomatically.
Alice
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 12:13 PM #14 of 61
Crash, I understand your pain. Really, I do. But the thing is, there's yet another double standard at work here, which is the fact that women who do what you're asking them to do in your post are labeled "slutty," or at the minimum, "too forward." And I can tell you from what I've been told by boyfriends over the years - particularly when I was middle school/early high school age - boys' mothers AND FATHERS warned their sons about the dangers of girls who would pursue them. At least they did in my day.

This may be a generational (or maybe a southern) thing, but I was taught by my mother from a very young age that women are the pursued, NEVER the pursuer.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
Eleo
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 12:18 PM #15 of 61
Alice you look like a hot older woman, want 2 have secks?

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Alice
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 12:21 PM #16 of 61
Sorry. I've determined through LOADS of trial and error that anyone under the age of 20 isn't worth my time. =P

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Crash "Long-Winded Wrong Answer" Landon
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 12:23 PM #17 of 61
Alice, that entire line of conditioning is nothing but archaic gender discrimination. It's objectifying women into little more than items to be collected.

If you want something, go for it. I wouldn't mind being chased after. (I'm taken, but I'd still be flattered.)

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Eleo
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 12:28 PM #18 of 61
Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland
Sorry. I've determined through LOADS of trial and error that anyone under the age of 20 isn't worth my time. =P
But I'm almost 21

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FadedReality
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 12:32 PM #19 of 61
Originally Posted by Crash Landon
Alice, that entire line of conditioning is nothing but archaic gender discrimination. It's objectifying women into little more than items to be collected.

If you want something, go for it. I wouldn't mind being chased after. (I'm taken, but I'd still be flattered.)
Exactly. The idea that a woman pursuing a man constitutes her being "too forward" or a whore is based around the idea that the woman is secondary to the man. The woman should be by the man's side, agreeing, not speaking for herself. Not doing as she pleases. Waiting for a man to come select her.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 12:53 PM Local time: Jul 20, 2006, 10:53 AM #20 of 61
Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland
This may be a generational (or maybe a southern) thing, but I was taught by my mother from a very young age that women are the pursued, NEVER the pursuer.
No. This is something that's akin to pretty much every culture on the planet. However, this is quite possibly one of the most asinine thinkings ever invented by women. I mean, with all the so-called strides that women have made in the past few decades to attain everything from job equality to sexual freedom, are you seriously going to tell me that a woman should always wait for the MEN to take initiative?

You know goddamn well we lack that shit nowadays.

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Old Jul 20, 2006, 12:54 PM #21 of 61
How about in the workforce?
I don't know about everywhere else, but:
- I've only ever seen one male secretary
- I've never seen a female in construction

I know things are changing with male nurses and female...uh...well stuff like that. There are just some jobs that I haven't seen the opposite gender fill.

I was speaking idiomatically.
Vampiro
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 01:06 PM #22 of 61
Originally Posted by Summonmaster
How about in the workforce?
I don't know about everywhere else, but:
- I've only ever seen one male secretary
- I've never seen a female in construction

I know things are changing with male nurses and female...uh...well stuff like that. There are just some jobs that I haven't seen the opposite gender fill.

I've seen many of both. But it's not surprising you haven't. Those are two jobs that one specific gender will usually excel at. Women are known to be a lot more friendly and talkative. Therefore, they're perfect secretaries. Men aren't afraid to get dirty and are usually a lot stronger. They're basically built for physical labour.

Of course, that's a generalisation, but a fairly true one. Women have been raised to do and believe certain things, just like men have. Those specific jobs suit one specific gender.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
Dee
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 01:54 PM Local time: Jul 20, 2006, 01:54 PM #23 of 61
I really hate the double standard of women not being able to do math/science. Though most women are liberal arts/humanities majors (or in the case of most beauty pageants, "communications" majors), it still doesn't belittle the fact that there are some very capable women who can become great engineers, etc.

As for women playing the passive role in relationships, to me I can see it work the other way. A lot of my experiences have been men being too shy or afraid. Men should display their confidence more forwardly than women. Besides, that's a double standard society dictates, no? As for women playing "hard to get", there are a variety of reasons that women do that, ranging from they don't want to seem too easy to not interested.

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Radez
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 02:06 PM #24 of 61
I pretty much hate how straight couples are allowed so much license with a variety of pda's but two guys together, and you're scorned for freaking holding hands. Stupid breeder oppressors.

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Paco
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Old Jul 20, 2006, 02:21 PM Local time: Jul 20, 2006, 12:21 PM #25 of 61
Originally Posted by Dee
Men should display their confidence more forwardly than women.
But we've been doing it for centuries. How about a change?

Jam it back in, in the dark.
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