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Recently I have watched for the first time The Expendables (Best film ever), Quantum of Solace (Rubbish, even by Bond standards. For Your Eyes Only was on over the weekend and I think I enjoyed that more than QoS, even though it's a bizarre camp-comedy Bond film that I've seen three or four times before. Bond needs to stop trying to have clever plot twists and really needs to stop all the predictable rogue agent bullshit and get back to fucking up Russians), The A-Team (Fun in that it takes itself in no way seriously but went on a bit too long and Liam Neeson? Really?), Shutter Island (What a steaming pile of fetid turd. I want that hour and a half of my life back you fucks. Terrible acting even by DiCaprio's generally low standards, obvious plot and is there nothing Ben Kingsley won't do for money now?) and The Invisible (Entertaining enough although doesn't really know where it's going morally which makes the whole thing end up a bit like a not completely shit episode of One Tree Hill).
Coming soon, as soon as I can find a store that stocks it (Or a working torrent), Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. Jam it back in, in the dark. |
I watched Zombieland the other day and thought it was pretty good. It's kinda like Shaun of the Dead if it had been made as an off-shoot of Scrubs, rather than Spaced. It is pretty funny though and worth a look if you like comedy zombie films. I also watched a film called The Vanguard today which is a low budget, British zombie film and basically pretty shit and didn't make any sense. Some low budget films are great, despite the obvious crappy effects and locations, this one wasn't. Avoid.
Most amazing jew boots |
I just got through watching Season 8 of 24 and I thought it was great!
Spoiler:
Also saw Saw 3d the other week which was much like the other films in the series (And therefore great). This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. |
Last week I watched Toy Story 3, Sympathy for Lady Vengance and Black Death.
Toy Story 3 was alright, I liked the numerous prison movie references. Sympathy for Lady Vengance is a great film, surprisingly different to Old Boy and the first Korean film I've seen with even a hint of a happy ending. Black Death, like pretty much every film with Sean Bean in, is top stuff too. It's by the same guy who made Creep and Severance, two of my favourite films, so I knew I'd probably enjoy it. Not nearly as violent as the box leads you to believe but the action sequences there are are top notch. Oh yeah, also watched Repo Men which is the first Jude Law film I've managed to sit all the way through and actually wasn't too bad overall. I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body? |
I remembered the other day that someone had bought me The Omen Pentology and I'd only ever watched the original and the remake of that so I watched Omen 2.
It's not brilliant. Damien as a teenager isn't nearly as sinister as Damien as a kid, Lance Henrikson isn't as sinister as the weird maid from the first one and the whole thing is just a bit bland, lacking all the suspense and oppressive feel of the first one. I'll watch the others at some point but I bet the fourth is really shit, like Nightmare on Elm Street 5 shit. Oh yeah, that reminds me I watched the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street not too long ago and that's completely shit. I actually quite enjoyed the remake of The Omen and I personally think Rob Zombie's Halloween is better than the original but the Elm Street remake is just plain shite, avoid at all costs. I was speaking idiomatically. |
What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? |
Well I just saw an awesome film. Down Terrace is a massively low-budget gangster film set in Brighton. It's about a father and son crime family who've just been let off a drugs charge and are trying to identify the mole in their operation.
Rather than the usual gangster film fare of non-stop criminality and cockney geeeeeezers, this is a largely slow-paced family drama, all set in a single house more or less with a couple of moments of shocking violence. It's a really, really good film and I'd recommend it to anyone who's after a more thoughtful gangster movie. How ya doing, buddy? |
Just finished watching Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus.
It was shit, but that is hardly surprising. Luckily it was, as I suspected it would be, so shit it was good. Like Snakes on a Train. Worth a download. What, you don't want my bikini-clad body? |
I watched Inception for the first time yesterday. It was alright I guess, basically like the Matrix with less effort put into set and costume design and even wider plot holes. Also anyone that didn't guess what the very last shot of the film was going to be from about 20 minutes in really needs to watch more films, such a painful cliche to end on. So yeah, a decent enough movie if you switch off and don't let the logical inconsistencies annoy you, I wouldn't have paid more than the £3 I did for it though.
Also recently saw the sequel to District 13 (The French free-running film, not the silly aliens in South Africa film) and that was really good. I'd love to see a race across a busy city between the dude off of that and Tony Jaa. Again it's full of plot holes but then it's a mindless action film so you pretty much expect that. I was also pleasantly surprised at how much of the French I understood without looking at the subtitles. Certainly not enough to translate to someone else but I reckon I would've followed the plot if the subtitles had been turned off. If you like parcour and French Hiphop then you'll like it, I think the official title is D13 Revolutions or something retarded like that. Jam it back in, in the dark. |
The Matrix as a film was a simple concept made overly complicated to impress idiots, dressed up in a remarkable bit of design. The plot is nonsense, the dialogue is terrible but the cinematography is incredible. The Matrix is all about the look of the thing.
Inception takes the same idea of a virtual world controlled by someone else that you don't realise you're in, only swaps in dreams for a computer programme. Aside from lifting Leo's dress sense straight from Shutter Island, there's no real central style element to the film. It's largely realistic with a hint of film noire to some of the set design. Compared to the obvious effort that went into setting and costume in the Matrix, very little thought seems to have gone into the same areas in Inception. As for the ending... Spoiler:
Maybe I've just seen too many films over the years but I didn't really see anything particularly interesting or clever in Inception but like I said, it's a decent enough film to let wash over you. There's nowhere I can't reach. |
Today I watched Rob Zombie's second Halloween film and the most recent Harry Potter.
Halloween 2 was pretty good. Not hugely scary but suitably gory although all the crap with visions of his mum I could have done without. Deathly Hallows is the only Potter book I've not read so I watched this not knowing what was going to happen. I've felt the film versions have got steadily worse and worse as they went along but this one was marginally better than the Half Blood Prince. The story is of course complete bollocks with so many leaps of faith and remarkable coincidences it's not funny. There are a lot of things that annoy me about the Potter universe. Why don't any wizards own a mobile phone? Why when they're fighting so they sometimes need to say magic words and sometimes just use their wands like a laser gun? Why does Voldemort need a better wand to kill Potter? Why not just hijack an air force base and steal an Apache then shoot Hellfires at him? Or just buy a gun and shoot the little turd? Why did the Order of the Phoenix think the Weasley's house wouldn't be the first place the Deatheaters would look for him? Why after the initial broomstick fight did the ginger dude only challenge the identity of the black guy and not the others? Why did they bother walking for months, dragging Ron along when they could have just sat tight, waited for him to get better then teleported? Why did they feel the need to wear the amulet? Why were they sad when the annoying elf thing died (And why did they bury him in a sand dune, he ain't going to stay buried long there)? Why were the kids still catching the train to Hogwarts if there's a war on? Anyway, it was a dull film of a stupid story. I'm not even sure why I watched it because I knew I wouldn't like it. This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. |
Haha, I only just noticed you saw Midnight Meat Train. I love that film, it's so silly and it's a perfect role for Vinny Jones. Did you ever see Creep? Similar sort of thing, only better.
I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body? |
I just watched Human Centipede. It's pretty silly and surprisingly high budget for a horror B-movie. Entertaining enough though, provided you set your expectations low enough.
Since Noos is off work for another month yet, we signed up for a free month of LoveFilm so she can just stream films through the PS3 all day long so expect me to be putting a load more stuff in this thread over the next month. I was speaking idiomatically. |
I watched French zombie film The Horde (La Horde I guess) last night and it's pretty decent. Rammed full of plot holes of course but then it's a zombie film and they always are but the action is very good, especially the hand to hand scenes and the zombie effects are pretty nice too. Worth a look for any fans of the genre.
What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? |
Watched in the last couple of days:
Green Hornet. Pretty funny as happens and better than I expected it to be. Doghouse. Comedy/horror starring Danny Dyer. A group of lads go off to the countryside for a weekend only to find that all the women in the village have been infected with a virus that turns them into zombie-esque murdering bitches. Awesome, awesome film. Really funny, very silly and gory as fuck. If you liked Dog Soldiers you'll like this so go watch it. FELIPE NO |
Just watched Dragonball Evolution and Tekken.
Dragonball was as shit as I thought it would be, why Chow Jun Fat went to make films in the US I will never know because they've been steadily going downhill. Entertaining in it's own way though. Tekken was pretty good actually. I didn't even know they'd made a live action Tekken film and one would have hoped they might have found an actor other than Shang Tsung to play Heihachi but I enjoyed it. It's silly as all hell and the fights are a bit weak but it's worth a look if you can get it free. What, you don't want my bikini-clad body? |
This week I've watched Tron Legacy and Battle Los Angeles.
Tron was pretty good, I liked all the references to the first one although the succession of massive plot holes are slightly distracting. For example: Spoiler:
Anyway, as a silly film it's pretty good. Battle LA is right up my street. Explosions, shooting and cheesy dialogue, top stuff. All it was really missing was the main Halo theme playing during the bits where the Sarg was being hardcore. Also at the moment, Film Four seem to have decided it's Christmas so this week I've watched the first two Home Alone films and Edward Scissorhands. Home Alone never stops being funny and Scissorhands has aged really well. Jam it back in, in the dark. |
Last night I watched The Final Destination, the fourth in the series.
Frankly, it's rubbish. I really liked the first film, the second was pretty good, the third was ok but this is definitely one too far. It has loads of obvious, annoying bits they put in for the 3d version (Things poking into the screen etc), the acting is awful, the characters all get on board with the plot far too easily, nobody seems very upset when their friends get killed and the special effects are really poor. I won't be paying to see the latest installment if this is the standard of the franchise now. There's nowhere I can't reach. |
Just watched Triangle. It's a thriller/vague horror by the guy who made Severance and Creep and stars Melissa George off of Home and Away. It's a decent enough film and worth a rent I reckon.
Spoiler:
This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. |
I was very upset early this year when Armando Iannucci came to the opera and I was really excited he was there and all the 20 year old staff we have had never heard of him so kudos to you, although his finest work remains the bit on Friday Night Armistice where he got OJ Simpson to sign the bottom of a piece of paper with "I did it" written at the top.
How ya doing, buddy? |
This week, Clash of the Titans, Rec and Futuresport.
Clash of the Titans (The recent one, not the original) was pretty good I thought. We watched the old school flat version rather than the 3d one and I still wish people making 3d films would get over the need to have things waving into the screen all the time. Anyway, special effects weren't nearly as bad as many reviews make out, plot was pretty silly but ok, the script had funny moments without breaking the fourth wall and the only real downside was the distractingly bad accent of the lead guy who couldn't decide if he wanted to be Australian or Scottish the whole way through the movie. Did like the joke with the mechanical owl too. Rec is what Philia would describe as foreign horror. It's a decent, low-budget zombie flick with a few decent shocks in it. Worth a look if you're into that kind of thing. Futuresport is awful, really awful. Only watched it because there was nothing else on. I can't believe Wesley Snipes paid for this any more than I could believe his Jamaican accent. Only saving grace was a throwaway reference to Speed Ball. Whatever happened to Dean Cain by the way? Apart from this terrible film of course. Most amazing jew boots |
Watched Rec2 last night which follows directly on from the first film. It's pretty good, almost as good as the first although let down rather by the fact the actors playing the SWAT team appear to have had no experience whatsoever of actual SWAT tactics or in fact of just generally how people who hold guns for a living carry themselves, although to be fair they are Spanish so it's possibly a highly accurate representation of Spanish special forces.
What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? |
I just finished watching Arn - The Knight Templar, a Swedish film about the Crusades. It's very good, kind of like a lower budget, less Hollywood, Kingdom of Heaven. I'd definitely recommend this one.
FELIPE NO |
Tonight I watched The Crew, a Brit gangster flick set in modern Liverpool. It's ok I guess, nothing special really but better than some of the genre.
What, you don't want my bikini-clad body? |
Watched The Rite yesterday. Fairly average thriller about demonic posession with the old "based on a true story" nonsense. Anthony Hopkins is in it and actually uses his own, Welsh accent briefly but it's a largely forgettable movie.
Jam it back in, in the dark. |
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