Dealing With Time Apart

I recently started dating a 19 year old college freshman, she is cute, nice, smart and makes me feel ways I have never felt around anyone. This is partly because due to laziness/social retardation (I'm 23) I have never dated anyone before her. Being a new experience for me I'm trying hard to not make bad mistakes and make this relationship last.

Things are going excellent, except her schedule makes it nearly impossible for us to do anything on weekdays. The wait is awful, sure we can chat over AIM, but it's not the same as when we're together. Part of the problem might be that my only real obligation is my full time job, which means any time I have after work is open and mostly boring.

I haven't tried to be pushy or clingy, I understand she is very busy and I truly treasure any time we can spend together, but that really only helps her.

What I need help with is how for me to cope with the time apart. Being my first real relationship, I don't know of any good ways to cope.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Granted I'm probably in no position to speak authoritatively on the subject, but it sounds a lot like you've fixated on this girl because first relationship and all. Makes total sense. Don't do it.

Also the fact that you're 23 and this is a first date implies you've got some social issues. You should be aware of that, and actively work to fix it because otherwise your isolated existence will lead you to extremes in situations like this. Find other things to fill your life with. Go out more in the evenings. If you find an activity interesting, don't listen to excuses why you can't pursue it. Your life can't revolve around her. That won't end well.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Radez29

Granted I'm probably in no position to speak authoritatively on the subject, but it sounds a lot like you've fixated on this girl because first relationship and all. Makes total sense. Don't do it.

Also the fact that you're 23 and this is a first date implies you've got some social issues. You should be aware of that, and actively work to fix it because otherwise your isolated existence will lead you to extremes in situations like this. Find other things to fill your life with. Go out more in the evenings. If you find an activity interesting, don't listen to excuses why you can't pursue it. Your life can't revolve around her. That won't end well.

Old habits die hard I have to say. I've been stuck in a large morass of inactivity and apathy since I graduated from high school, I've pretty much either been working or doing a whole lot of nothing over the past four years.

I've been starting to get things in gear, but it certainly hasn't been easy, doing the same thing for four years doesn't lend itself to easy change. It is strange though I have found certain things I used to do (play WoW, go to 4chan, other time wasters) to be very boring, in fact they now feel toxic now that I've started to get more active.

I suppose with a mostly open schedule it's hard not to think about her, but I do try very hard not to be clingy or get too attached too soon. It's just finding ways to occupy my time has been hard since I gave up a lot of my online vices.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Join a gym. Start a work-out routine. If you work full-time you've already used up something like 9 hours of your day. A visit to the gym can eat another 1.5 to 2. Try looking at groups on Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com in your geography. That can both broaden your social network and provide you something to do.

And no, if you habitually isolate yourself, then changing is not easy. Realize that is not an excuse.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Radez can't be propped enough for this thread. He's spot on, and you should listen to him. Want to feel better, get a more active lifestyle. No excuses, just do the hard thing.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Denicalis

Radez can't be propped enough for this thread. He's spot on, and you should listen to him. Want to feel better, get a more active lifestyle. No excuses, just do the hard thing.

Seconded. You gotta break out of that shell somehow.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Long story short things didn't work out and I couldn't feel shittier. But I am planning on doing something this weekend, if just to lessen the sting.

FELIPE NO

<Radez29> I like how the dude in quiet place is out of that relationship already
<Radez29> like 3 days.
<CHz> :rainbowdick:
<a_lurker> lol the one you were telling to get real interests
<a_lurker> owned.
<a_lurker> owned.
<a_lurker> owned.

sorry I'm qutoning myself but owned.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by a lurker cares™

<Radez29> I like how the dude in quiet place is out of that relationship already
<Radez29> like 3 days.
<CHz> :rainbowdick:
<a_lurker> lol the one you were telling to get real interests
<a_lurker> owned.
<a_lurker> owned.
<a_lurker> owned.

sorry I'm qutoning myself but owned.

If I didn't half-expect that I would have been offended, but anyways time for me to get out; sitting around isn't going to make things any easier.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Enjoy it. In due time she'll become a nagging, annoying fuckin' bitch.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Hey, at least now she dumped you you'll have more time for watching anime and playing with your plushies.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by a lurker cares™

<Radez29> I like how the dude in quiet place is out of that relationship already
<Radez29> like 3 days.
<CHz> :rainbowdick:
<a_lurker> lol the one you were telling to get real interests
<a_lurker> owned.
<a_lurker> owned.
<a_lurker> owned.

sorry I'm qutoning myself but owned.

A LURKER DOESN'T CARE.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

She cares more than you know™.

I was speaking idiomatically.

jeez that was quick
but i have a question..did you get any action?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?