Going out and doing things

The hell if I can figure what any of the non-specific advice I keep getting means, so let me try this in more specific terms.

When you social types "go out" and "do things", where exactly are you going, and what are you doing? Humor me and pretend I'm a high functioning autistic and this isn't something that's just common sense.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Well, going out alone isn't always the most awesome experience.

First, you need to establish what you like to do. Do you like large crowds? Small crowds? Are you comfortable socializing, or are you more of a recluse? Do you like conversation? Do you like to interact?

If you're not really the social type, it's really hard to get out there and do things alone, or with others. But it can be done! You've got to just let go a little, and push yourself out of your comfort zone. Not too much, but enough that you can bear.

So, MK. What are your passions?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'passions'. My passion is mainly hating everything. That's not exactly a sociable trait. If you're talking about hobbies or interests or something, I don't have any that exactly relate to the outside world.

I can push my comfort zone by talking a walk at night through the projects, but I don't think that's what you're talking about. It's still not clear to me what exactly that means.

How ya doing, buddy?

Most of the time I go out with friends to a local bar or go to someone's house. Or we've just gone out to dinner at a restaurant.

Strange question.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I either go to restaurants or bars with some folks (usually one specific restaurant where we know the chef quite well and we can just sort of hang out), or go to someone's home and play video games. I used to go barhopping/clubbing when I was younger, but it's been a while since I've done any of that--it's really fun but I'm too lazy to organize that kind of thing these days, and I sort of feel like I'm too old for that anyway.

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Well, before I go out I like to drink a fifth of whiskey with whoever I happen to be with, usually me, myself, and I. Then I'll take whatever drugs I happen to have, sometimes marijuana, sometimes perks, if I lucky I may even have some mushrooms!

After that I put on my pants and, after kissing Paco's sister goodbye, head out into the night. No plan survives contact with the enemy, or apparently bottle of liquor, so it's off to wherever my feet take me.

Fortune favors the bold, and while I cannot tell you exactly what I go out and do, I can assure you that I go out, and I can promise you that I do.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Don't know how to follow that, but what I usually do is organize like an outing to some bar/restaurant or less likely a club. Sometimes my pals and I have a few drinks beforehand because drinking out is far more expensive.

It's usually socializing, poking fun at each other, gossiping, talking about our "futures", etc. We just hang but at a different location than our dorms.

FELIPE NO

I kind of got the impression that "go out and do things" meant something a little more than hanging out somewhere with your friends, the way it's always been presented to me as the solution to my shut-in problems. I'm not really surprised it's the simpler answer, though. Confirms a few things for me, anyway.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Monkey King

I kind of got the impression that "go out and do things" meant something a little more than hanging out somewhere with your friends, the way it's always been presented to me as the solution to my shut-in problems. I'm not really surprised it's the simpler answer, though. Confirms a few things for me, anyway.

Well, it really could be either - that is, if you have some mates you like to hang out with, that's a perfectly good way of spending a free night. Or, if you want to expand your social circle, meet new people, learn new skills, that's great too. The point is not to spend all your free time at loool internets message boards or playing video games by yourself.

That said, me personally, I used to do both - sometimes, I was just hanging out with friends, sometimes I would be taking part in activities like kungfu. That hasn't been the case recently, because my schedule has been insanely busy and exhausting lately, but that is the ideal for me.

How ya doing, buddy?

First, realize that you don't HAVE to go out. If you don't care for it, then don't worry about it. Also, figure out your interests, what makes you chill. And yes, I realize this is a thread asking on this, but honestly, I have found more and more that if you just don't enjoy going out, and you have tried it a few times, then don't push yourself. Why spend the money and time to feel frustrated and all?

At any rate, for me, if I go out alone, I tend to go to the electronic stores like Circuit City to check out things there seeing what new technology there is and the good deals they have. I also visit stores like Wal-Mart, K-Mart, etc to see what deals they have, and then also the mall just to see what's new. Similarly, I also check video game stores although nowadays it's all the same as we have three Gamestop/EB Games (although each has somewhat of a different selection and surprisingly difference prices at times).

I also tend to go to, well, now book stores to look over a few books and maybe buy one. I use to also look over magazines at grocery stores but most stores stopped carrying the ones I was interested in. Nonetheless, I read a bit of a few books, see if they have any good deals on books (i.e. I got some sort of huge book concerning tons of stories for like 5 bucks) and so forth.

I might also go to other grocery stores, pick up some food, and look for deals there as well. Usually, I'm pretty darn happy if I can find a decent deal for frozen pizzas. And with several grocery stores, I stand a pretty good chance.

I also tend to visit an all-you-can-eat pizza place by myself. I just sit there, chill, and eat. If I happen to work that evening but I get off in enough time to go to the pizza place, it's really cool because it's just about an hour before closing and most people are already gone. That means I can get the pizza I want (although with so few people, I have to get it right then and there as they may not make another later on), and just totally chill in the quietness.

it sounds weird that THIS is me going out and doing things but to me it's very relaxing. Just walking around, looking at things, thinking about it, going at my own pace, looking for deals, it just all helps me chill. I'm not the more active person and hence I don't need to run around in clubs or whatnot.

So that is what I do when hanging-out solo. The basic things to remember is 1) if you don't care for it, don't push yourself into doing it. It helps nothing, and 2) a "hobby" can be loosely defined. Most say collecting stamps is a hobby. A few might say surfing online is a "hobby". In truth, a better wording may be "ways to relax". And the ways one relaxs is different.

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Originally Posted by mortis

This is what I do when I'm alone.

Don't get me wrong here mortis, that all sounds well and good, but it's not exactly good advice for someone who wants to socialize. In fact, it's the exact opposite of what he's asking for.

"Hey, could I borrow your hammer?"
"Hell no, but here's a screwdriver!"

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Usually going out and doing things requires money, so I guess not being so stingy with it is a start. Of course, you could always opt for the less-than-legal-means, but how many friends do you know that'll go with you? (Err, not that it's a big deal or anything)

I would try a local newspaper to see what's going on around your area. Concerts, musicals, and festivals might be more fun than bar/club-hopping, and if you hate everything, you can go to these events on rant about them or something?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Going out to watch a movie is probably one of the easier socializing things to do.

A good movie coming out? (Like HELLBOY II or THE DARK KNIGHT) Call up a few friends/coworkers/peers/etc. to see if they're interested. You can probably grab dinner before the movie starts. Or afterward go to a bar or Starbucks or whatever to talk about the movie, life, gossips, whatever.

I was speaking idiomatically.

In California, "going out" for me usually means heading over to somebody's house and watching movies, after going shopping for massive amounts of horrible preservative-laden sugary or salty snacks and possibly a pizza. Maybe some video games, or going to the movies as well.
When I actually go out, it's normally the local Borders. Seems to be the hangout for the rejects of society.

In Austin, going out is almost always going out for lunch or dinner, followed by a movie or a bar. Or just going downtown. Sometimes for a concert, but normally I have to do things like that by myself, because nobody likes the music I like . Or occasionally it's just again: people coming over, watching movies, talking, making dinner, playing video games. Drinking copious amounts of alcohol (musicians...).

Another kind of very specialized socialization is having sight-reading parties. Only for the nerdiest of music nerds...getting together with stacks of quartet/quintet/trio music and trying to bumble through them. And of course, talking more than actual playing.

I don't know. Socialization is a funny concept for me, because by nature I'm actually quite introverted... only children tend to know how to entertain themselves, and I'm not an exception. The thing is, I very much enjoy talking to people who have interesting things to say, so that will get me out of the house more than the promise of trying to get free drinks out of drunk louts downtown.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Going out for me is probably going to someone else's house and being bored there since it obviously better to be bored with someone else than be bored alone. But it usually consists of playing video games at their house, going to one of the two malls in our area, or me dragging my friends to some sort of restaurant or fast food joint to eat because they're hungry.

Simply because I'm the heavy guy, I know all the good food places in the area (which I do )

Anyway, going out could really mean a lot of different things. You can't really put a description on when whim happens anyway. If you hate everything, MK, find another friend of your's who hates the same thing that you do, go with them to that place you hate, and hate on it together.

FELIPE NO

Myself being in the stingy category, I opt for cheap outings:

1) Go to the gym with some friends who go to the same gym, help each other work out and have a conversation. Enjoy each other's company.
2) Sit together at Border's Bookstore or Barnes and Nobles and read magazines together in silence. (I've done library outings too, which have been quite academically productive in the past) -- This is usually followed by coffee or some conglamoration of pulped/juiced fruit and a discussion on random things.
3) Dinner / bar outings. The bar outings are a little scarce since someone has to drive.
4) Shopping - for me, this is quite rare. Like I said, I'm stingy, so I only buy clothings/outfits that I can get good use out of. I hate buying clothes going, "oh! this looks so pretty on me!" and never end up wearing it. Which has happened once or twice. I do have fun while shopping for food, however. Farmer's markets are my favorite food hunt outings. NOTHING beats trying out the freshest fruits and veggies at 8AM on Saturday morning to start off the day.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I've actually found myself in a similar situation to the OP, mainly because I *want* to socialise, but my inherent group of friends seems to.. well.. not. Basically, I've found that if you want to 'go out' and 'socialise' you'll have to...

a) Find some new people who share similar interests
b) Instigate these outings yourself and organising it with some friends

Or possibly even a combination of the two, merely meeting some new people and organising something with them, if the people you're currently surrounded by don't seem to do much.

My group of friends did borderline nothing (and the fact that two of them are addicted to World of Warcraft certainly didn't do any favours) so I basically just had to branch out and talk more often to people I didn't normally talk to. It's been an on-going process for me this year, but I believe I've forged a fair few new and good friendships, with some others still in progress. This week and the next have, quite honestly, been two of the busiest of my life, simply because I've organised/been invited to events with some of the new people I've met, and let me say it's been a blast.

Naturally I've always been quite introverted, but even a simple yet frequent 'Hello' as you see someone can evolve into a pretty good friendship, and if they've got similar interests than that's a bonus because you/they could easily organise an outing. Whether it just be hanging out somewhere else like another's house or a restaurant, or an actual event like a concert/convention/movie, it's worth it.

Sorry for the long-winded post, but if you want to 'socialise' then the best way is to just talk to new people at your school/work/dorm/etc and eventually you'll have a lot of possibilities open to you in regards to 'going out'.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

MEET PEOPLE QUESTION THEIR CHOICES

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Going out either means heading over to my friends house to drink, listen to music, play uno under the influence of some kind of drugs, and see what to do from there. Sometimes it means going out to see a movie, dinner, clubhopping/barhopping or so forth. I try not to go clubhopping that much since saturday mornings (around 4am) is when I start working my DJ sets at Nocturnal until about noon or so for afterhours, and on Fridays when I work on Karu every other week. Of course there are exceptions if theres a really good act coming down, like the Venetian Snares, ShyFx, Mark Knight, my homeboy Deadmau5, and some other underground acts.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Like mentioned in this topic, eating and drinking rules. Both are things that you can do with just one person or a big bunch of people. And the point isn't the drinking or eating, but socializing.

Example 1:
Whenever I visit my buddy who lives in an another town, we check out the new cafes and restaurants and walk around the town seeing the sights. But mostly we talk what's been happening in our lives. It's just more easier with a pint in your hand.

Example 2:
Me and my classmates / workmates decide to go for a dinner or a few drinks and that usually leads to clubbing or more drinking.

Example 3:
Parties. I've noticed that you don't really have to be someone's good friend to get an invite to some party. In these days of facebook, you just have to know a person and you're bound to get an invite somewhere. Usually private home parties are the best place to meet new people and you'll probably in end up in a bar after. Again, drinking brings people together. That doesn't mean you have to drink if it isn't your thing, but you at least have to accept it.

I've noticed the older you get, the less people wanna do pointless hanging out in the city or playing videogames with you, but rather they want to meet new people or just get wasted.

Edit: Someone also recommended gym, which was a pretty good suggestion. I'd say any hobby that takes you out of your house regularly should be good.

How ya doing, buddy?