Gamingforce Interactive Forums
85239 35211

Go Back   Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis > Garrmondo Network > The Creators' Cafe
Register FAQ GFWiki Community Donate Arcade ChocoJournal Calendar

Notices

Welcome to the Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis.
GFF is a community of gaming and music enthusiasts. We have a team of dedicated moderators, constant member-organized activities, and plenty of custom features, including our unique journal system. If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ or our GFWiki. You will have to register before you can post. Membership is completely free (and gets rid of the pesky advertisement unit underneath this message).


BB's craptacular creations
Reply
 
Thread Tools
Bernard Black
I don't mean this in a bad way, but genetically you are a cul-de-sac


Member 518

Level 32.84

Mar 2006


Reply With Quote
Old Nov 12, 2007, 09:22 AM Local time: Nov 12, 2007, 02:22 PM #1 of 1
BB's craptacular creations

So, at the risk of being flamed to hell, I thought I'd ask for some constructive criticism of my beginner's poetry. To start, a prewrite created after reading Richard Dawkin's Unweaving the Rainbow.

Comprehension

Inert, to the naked eye;
A blurry scope of honey-dipped horizons,
Cleft by pulsing fluency,
Sustained by the urgency of life.

Alien-scape, seems peculiar
Yet somehow closer than you'd dare to look.

The fundamental point
And source of all creation lies within.
So base, belies simplicity
Of unfeeling, unknowing function.

Formulas and numbers fail here in
This inexplicable complexity.

Jam it back in, in the dark.
Reply


Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis > Garrmondo Network > The Creators' Cafe > BB's craptacular creations

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:01 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.