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Thread Tools |
 Member 518 Level 32.84 Mar 2006 
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BB's craptacular creations
So, at the risk of being flamed to hell, I thought I'd ask for some constructive criticism of my beginner's poetry. To start, a prewrite created after reading Richard Dawkin's Unweaving the Rainbow.
Comprehension Inert, to the naked eye; A blurry scope of honey-dipped horizons, Cleft by pulsing fluency, Sustained by the urgency of life. Alien-scape, seems peculiar Yet somehow closer than you'd dare to look. The fundamental point And source of all creation lies within. So base, belies simplicity Of unfeeling, unknowing function. Formulas and numbers fail here in This inexplicable complexity. Jam it back in, in the dark.  
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Bernard Black