[Wii] Nintendo E3 Conference NOBODY GOES

So Nintendo has a big ol conference tomorrow. Something about CASUALS and guitars and Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles and noone was all that impressed.

Let's talk about it!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I heard they're releasing some games for the Wii involving several minigames, a "wacky" and not at all forced control system and the full range of your favourite Mario characters. Rumours are they're also insisting that sub-PS2 graphics are still acceptable to modern gamers and that they can indeed stay solvent by flogging the same old dead horse for the next few years.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Woah! What future boat did you just step off of, Shin?! =O

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I heard they're releasing Terranigma with motion control.


























































no I didn't.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I sorta wish RABicle was here.
I found his version of E3 (something about Reggie smashing things on stage and roundhouse Sony executives in the groin) and the real one (powerpoint presentations with lots of extra and totally useless plastic add-ons for the Wiimote to be clashing in the most magnificent way.

My hopes? A new Zelda, built for Wii without waggling, a new Mario sidescroller for either DS or Wii and almost no focus on soccer moms, grannies and kids. Only hardcore games this time around, please.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Kilroy

My hopes? A new Zelda, built for Wii without waggling, a new Mario sidescroller for either DS or Wii and almost no focus on soccer moms, grannies and kids. Only hardcore games this time around, please.

Oh that's just adorable. We have a dreamer, guys.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Kilroy

My hopes? A new Zelda, built for Wii without waggling, a new Mario sidescroller for either DS or Wii and almost no focus on soccer moms, grannies and kids. Only hardcore games this time around, please.

Er, mate, this is the Nintendo thread. The only time people use the word hardcore in a sentence including the word Nintendo is "Nobody who considers themselves a hardcore gamer, as massively homosexual as that phrase is, would ever bother buying a Nintendo Wii or DS".

I mean trolling aside, are there any Wii games that don't feature one of either Mario, stupid minigames or shoe-horned in motion control?

FELIPE NO

Blastworks? There's plenty, but that's the first one to come to mind.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Bounce Overflow

Oh that's just adorable. We have a dreamer, guys.

I've got him beat, folks - I'm hoping for a sequel to Hotel Dusk.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Stop Sign, you bring hope to this nation. :')


Shin, I bought a second Wii for my parents and Wii Fit.

Counting! One! Two! Two Nintendo Dust Collectors! Ah! Ah! Ah!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Grain Overflow

Blastworks? There's plenty, but that's the first one to come to mind.

I can't say I'd heard of that one but having just watched a video of it, it's got shoe-horned control system written all over it. Any more?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

What motion control there is certainly isn't in it just for the fact of being in it. The editor works well with the controls, they're well thought out, and they certainly weren't just "shoe-horned" in there just because they could tack it on with minimal effort.

If you're going to exclude all games with any motion control period under that forced implementation heading, you might as well start excluding games on other systems that use specific buttons on the controller that you might not like. SHIT THIS GAME USES THE D PAD FOR SOMETHING FUCK.

(I'm trying to reduce trollan here, why you gotta be this way?)

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

If there isn't a new Pilotwings game then Nintendo will have wasted a car trip. People will demand a new Pilotwings at the start of the conference.

"Hello everyon-"
"NEW PILOTWINGS?"
"No here are some sales charts"

Everyone laughs. Everyone instantly leaves.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Reggie will ask the press to "please call him Reginald" from now on, and then will proceed to announce Man Icarus, which is being outsorced to the Ubisoft team that made Prince of Persia: Warrior Within.

A new Zelda will debut, built from the ground up for the Wii. It will be a cell shaded sequel to Wand of Gamelon.

The Fairchild Channel F will be supported in the Virtual Console catalog.

Propietary 5¼" floppy drives will be released to solve the Wii's storage problems. Only nerds and otakus will care, the rest WILL LAUGH.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Nintendonomicon

Man Icarus, which is being outsorced to the Ubisoft team that made Prince of Persia: Warrior Within.

So basically God of War with wings, then

Not seeing the problem

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Pangalin

So basically God of War with wings, then

Not seeing the problem

There isn't any. It's Man Icarus, after all. Voiced by David Hayter.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Stop filling my head with beautiful dreams you miserable bastard

Most amazing jew boots

Man Icarus. ;_; Where is my sexy shota Icarus, what the hell.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Watermelon Overflow

Man Icarus. ;_; Where is my sexy shota Icarus, what the hell.

Factor 5 has been awfully quiet lately.

I've said too much.

And of course, Final Fantasy XIII will be confirmed for the Wii tomorrow.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Nintendonomicon

Factor 5 has been awfully quiet lately.

I've said too much.

And of course, Final Fantasy XIII will be confirmed for the Wii tomorrow.

Your sources lack credibility. I'll let you in on a little secret:

Spoiler:

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Beard Overflow

I'll let you in on a little secret:

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Stop Sign

I've got him beat, folks - I'm hoping for a sequel to Hotel Dusk.

Hey, so do I
And it'll happen soon. Like world peace.

Later guys, I have to take a swim in the gumdrop coloured paradise that is my lawn. Pet a unicorn, frolick with a pegasus and be one with nature.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

See you guys in 8 hours :P. I'm betting on a new Zelda with 1:1 controls, Wii Music, and at least 5 third-party games highlighted that no one cares about.

FELIPE NO

<_< ... >_> ... Not sure if this has been posted....

While we're all dreaming and/or despairing about what's gonna take place at E3, a little notice came up concerning the Wiimote. Well, Microsoft hasn't announced a motion controller yet, but possibly as a counter-act, Wiimote 1:1 movement is now possible!!!

Linkity Doodle: Introducing Wii MotionPlus, Nintendo's upcoming accessory for the revolutionary Wii Remote at Nintendo :: What's New

See you all at the show.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

there needs to be a complete system update.

How ya doing, buddy?