How to stear somebody away from a wife-beater boyfriend.

Best thing I could think to do is drop a copy of the standard rapist profile on her desk and walk away. Hello. What does it mean to be with a proven wife-beater that has no impulse control? Who wants to risk making a child with such a person, never mind their own safety?

But don't feel at all guilty if you can't "talk her out of it." It's not exactly easy to use logic to convince someone to change their feelings - that isn't the part of the brain making the decisions here. Talking about what a bad boy he is just feeds the drama train, unfortunately.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Tell her to come post about it on GFF.

Banned from thread.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

If she's not prepared to walk out on him, she won't walk out on him. Even convincing her that he's a bad person won't do much - probably at the most she might talk some shit about him or go to a hotel for a few days before forgiving him. He has a far greater hold on her than you or your office buddies do.

So instead of appealing to her directly - and you know this really isn't any of your business but WHY NOT - find out what family members she likes and tell them. They have a more vested and prolonged interest in her well-being than you do, and they'll be in a better position to assist her when she finally does want to get out of this relationship.

And finally, "asking the right questions" only works when the person is ambivilant about the situation, instead of having a set mind about it. I don't know, though, maybe Minion is actually the Godfather or Ghandi or something. I'm just a mere mortal, but I don't think it'd work here.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Funny, turns out our local paper has just concluded a story about this very issue. Including the phone number to the local crisis hotline.

Although trying to get through to her at this point is like running through a brick wall. All it does is land me on my ass. *sigh*

I really try to be a good friend to her, but it's getting hard the more she's getting herself screwed in this relationship (figuratively AND literally).

I was speaking idiomatically.

Quote:

I don't know, though, maybe Minion is actually the Godfather or Ghandi or something.

I would've gone with Rasputin or something. Bad analogy. Not very insulting. I'm afraid you might be losing your touch.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Sir VG

My coworkers have come to me to try to get a fellow coworker of ours away from a leeching wife-beating boyfriend that she's presently dating. I'm the one that gets to be the spokesman because apparantly she had a crush on me at one point.

Now it's not a case of heresay. This guy has a history. 31, 3 failed marriages (one of which was a former employee at my workplace). She's even admitted to him doing a couple things that are certainly not "normal" or "accidental". On top of it, he's a leech. So we all know what's gonna happen...he's gonna suck her dry, beat the crap out of her, and leave.

Everybody else is getting frustrated trying to get through to her. I've tried talking to her and even being ultra sweet, but it's like she doesn't get the trouble and danger she's getting herself into.

How do you get into it across to somebody like this?

All you can really do is give her suggestions. I'm not saying: "Screw her, let her get her ass kicked." Oh no, I mean, all you can do is be her rock (I hate that term) if you really care about her. Some women just don't know when to give up on certain men. Some of them are blinded by fake smiles, fake promises or that good ol' American belief of: "Aw, he'll get better!"

It's good that you and your coworkers care but it will be hard if she seriously is infatuated with this guy.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Minion

I would've gone with Rasputin or something. Bad analogy. Not very insulting. I'm afraid you might be losing your touch.

No, it wasn't really meant to be insulting like that. Maybe you'd prefer it if I likened you to Jesus?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

No, Jesus wasn't creepy enough. You might want to try something like a date rapist or child molester.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

They are not very persuasive people, this is why they stick to children.

You do not understand the concept of humor nor friends.

There's nowhere I can't reach.