Sex: Take It Or Leave It

I forget who it was that already said this, but I agree fully with them:

If I am in a romantic relationship, the person should like/enjoy sex. If you're the greatest person to be around and we can have nice long discussions and the world is happy but there's no sex, you're my best friend. And, to be honest, there's nothing wrong with that - Everyone needs friends. But If I'm romantically involved with someone there's the whole romance aspect that has to happen.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Well I think it should be more of two people agreeing together... Luckily up until now, my boyfriend and I are self-conscious about the whole deal and we decided to have sex until marriage, IF we do stick together.
Since I'm a woman, I wouldn't want to end up pregnant and screw my life, but now that I think about it, I wouldn't want to end up with diseases anyway. However, it'll probably be easier to be man since they don't suffer the most part of the consequences.

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I would like my future gf to be open to the idea of sex, yes, if only to assure me that there is more to our relationship than cuddling and talking for hours on the phone.

I would rather NOT place emphasis on sex in the relationship, but that's because of my own insecurities; would she get bored? am i doing ok? does she think I'm too small? is she FAKING?

that sorta stuff.

How ya doing, buddy?

Funny how I was just reading the chapter in my psych book about Sexual Disorders. Some people just have lower sex drives than others. Some honestly can't get through the day without having sex at least three or four times. Some people just don't need it ever. At what point is this a disorder or abnormal? It's when it bothers you and affects your relationships. If you manage to find someone on the same page as you when it comes to sex, and you can live a happy life with a healthy and meaningful relationships, then that's fine. If you're in a relationship where one person needs it more than the other and you fight about it, that's when you need help. As long as your behaviour doesn't affect or hurt anyone else, besides not being "within the norm" there is no real cause for concern.

It's hard to classify what's "normal" when it comes to sex because it involves a lot of factors such as society, culture and morals.

I was speaking idiomatically.

This is going to seem like a completely ridiculous post, but I'm going to type it anyway.

I agree with Sass, actually. Sex isn't fun unless there's tons of build-up. Sex without build-up is like drinking alone, it's no fun and often leaves a sour feeling in your gut. I do enjoy sex, but I will say that there are people who can put you into a slump about it and kill your desire.

In some ways I envy the people who don't have an immediate sex drive, it would make life a lot easier, then again it might make life kind of dull, too.

I wouldn't classify lack of sex drive as abnormal, especially since the people in this thread have expressed a desire for other physical forms of affection. Which is the way I felt until I found someone who showed me what an incredible experience sex could be. Not saying they need an awakening, because for them that's probably not it.

Now here comes the ridiculous part of the post:

For those who lack a sincere desire for sex, but may find themselves in a relationship where their partner wishes for intercourse-- there's ways of creating that desire. Namely, marijuana. I know you're thinking "But I'm not a drug addict," doing marijuana once or twice in your lifetime does not make you an addict. I will say that like alcohol it does foster the desire greatly, but it doesn't come with degradation in performance like alcohol, if anything it intensifies the stimulation. It also doesn't take much.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Denicalis

We call them Shin's ex-girlfriends.

Well once you've had the best, why bother with the rest?

FELIPE NO

Before having sex, I was one of the people who couldn't careless about it. Now that I have, its another story. I'm fine seeing a girl and hanging out without wanting to get all up in their shit, but I won't be afraid if the situatoin comes up like I used to when I was younger.

Then again, I'm settled down now and everything with the relationships all cool. I can do without it, but I don't want to.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Is this like asking if you could be a person who is, or is not, okay with a partner that's like "ehh" to sex? Is this about losing the moment or something?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I guess it's about whether or not you could be with someone who's "ehh" to sex, although some people missed the point, I think.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Being in a relationship and not having sex is like buying a car and never driving it anywhere.

I was acutally involved with a girl for a while. Everything was going great and we were discussing being more intimate when the subject came up that she wasn't into sex. She said she had no problem doing it but that it wasn't her thing or something.

I broke up with her the next week.

It's not shallow, its nipping it in the bud. I like to get my fuck on when I can and if I'm with a chick, I can deal with once a week - perfer more but, hey, I have my right hand, so whatever. But like hell am I going to sit around and be miserable because the girl I'm dating can't deal with getting meat-a-fied for an hour a week.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Personally, I haven't had it in three years, and I really don't care. If I'm with someone I care about, it is definitely "my thing," but I'm not the kind of person who seeks out shallow and meaningless relationships just to satisfy his libido.

Besides, it's hotter when there's an emotional connection to your partner anyway. Otherwise, it's just...messy. Maybe fun, but messy.

Could I be with someone who's "ehh" about it? Considering that I'm "ehh" about it myself, at least when I'm not with anyone, yeah, sure I could.

Sex is great, but you've got to have something more with which to define a relationship. Contrary to popular belief, is IS quite possible for sex to get boring.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

I guess it's about whether or not you could be with someone who's "ehh" to sex, although some people missed the point, I think.

It's easy to miss the point of the thread when you don't bother to read anything past the title.

I can quite honestly say that you need to be able to match me and keep me satisfied, or I'm going to stray. This is the main reason why it's a terrible idea for me to be in a long distance relationship. I have a very high libido for a girl, and I suspect that even trying to stay long-term with someone who had a medium libido wouldn't work out too well. I wouldn't even try to touch a relationship with someone who was "eh" about sex. I'm not that naive.

Originally Posted by CelticWhisper

Contrary to popular belief, is IS quite possible for sex to get boring.

If you have the wrong person, sure. Find someone with a modicum of creativity and it doesn't.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Duo Maxwell

For those who lack a sincere desire for sex, but may find themselves in a relationship where their partner wishes for intercourse-- there's ways of creating that desire. Namely, marijuana. I know you're thinking "But I'm not a drug addict," doing marijuana once or twice in your lifetime does not make you an addict. I will say that like alcohol it does foster the desire greatly, but it doesn't come with degradation in performance like alcohol, if anything it intensifies the stimulation. It also doesn't take much.

You have got to be joking. Tell me you're joking? When I have had sex in the past, it takes me a relatively long time to, well, to finish anyway. Smoking a bowl beforehand would probably lengthen that timespan to well over an hour. It's totally desensitising in that respect for me.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

I guess it's about whether or not you could be with someone who's "ehh" to sex, although some people missed the point, I think.

Mmm..I'll go with no, I couldn't be with someone with little to no sex drive. Just sounds disappointing.

I started hormone therapy for PCOS a few months ago which involves pill-form birth control to adjust hormones. My libido dropped to absolutely nothing for a few weeks and it's still pretty low :(

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Soluzar

You have got to be joking. Tell me you're joking? When I have had sex in the past, it takes me a relatively long time to, well, to finish anyway. Smoking a bowl beforehand would probably lengthen that timespan to well over an hour. It's totally desensitising in that respect for me.

An hour is a long time to go? Well I should defiantly not do weed before sex... I think my fiancé would kill me. I thought weed just made you lazy?!?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Quote:

Are you one of those people who just doesn't care much for sex and doesn't see what all the hype is about? Are you or have you ever been involved with someone like this?

I wouldn't say that I don't care for sex, but I would say that I have a lower than average libido. I don't feel the need to seek out sex, and I don't ever worry or think about it.

Now if I was married to someone I would course want to be able to make love with them, but I probably wouldn't need it very often, probably not even every week.

I'm not sure if I'm "eh" about sex, but I'm fairly close. I'm well aware that most people don't feel this way, and that I am not likely to find someone for me that feels the same way.

I try not to let it bother me.

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God, it's been years since "last time". It was exceptionally good, mind you that, but I'm still not that interested in sex.

It's a hobby among others.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Was he an intellectual? I consider myself to be an intellectual person, and I also am uninterested in sex. Yes, I've had sex (over 200 times - 3 year girlfriend), but after we broke up, it sex just didn't seem logical.

You can accuse me I wasn't good in bed, or I have no confidence... but I ask you, what if I don't care if I was good in bed? What if I really don't care about what society thinks of me?

I am uninterested in sex because I believe the reason for sex is to procreate, but we can use artificial methods to seed the egg, thus why is sex necessary anymore? I am still game for affection though, because nothing beats expressing care for another person... Simply put I think he transcended the idea of sex, and so have I. Sure I'll have it every now and then, but in the big picture it really isn't important.

We aren't important as individuals, but our species is important as a whole, and if you transcend sex you stop thinking for yourself, and can spend that time thinking about humanity.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I think some people here might be confusing a low sex drive with low expectations of having sex anytime soon (that might sound like a snide quip, I don't mean it to be taken that way).

You might of been without it for awhile and don't actively seek a relationship, but you may be whistling a different tune if you happen to fall into one.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Dr. Uzuki

I think some people here might be confusing a low sex drive with low expectations of having sex anytime soon (that might sound like a snide quip, I don't mean it to be taken that way).

You might of been without it for awhile and don't actively seek a relationship, but you may be whistling a different tune if you happen to fall into one.

Are you talking about me? I've been in a few relationships since we broke up, and I've had sex with these girls... and yeah I enjoy it, but I always get depressed after the moment. I don't know how else to phrase it, but I feel so used by my instincts, and being a person who likes to control myself, I feel weak to, well, myself.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Weak to yourself? What's wrong with enjoying sex? It's one of life's greatest pleasures, not to mention the fact that it's extremely important in a relationship. Good food, good sleep, good wine, good music and good sex...things like that make life awesome. Why deprive yourself or beat yourself up for enjoying them?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I think we can all agree that sex in a relationship is quite important, yes?
Yes, it's an important step UP in the level of intimacy with your partner, but there ARE people in this world, like it or not, who don't view sex as THAT MUCH of an important thing in their lives, nor their relationship. I think we should at least accept that, without getting into negative territory.

Saying that one doesn't enjoy sex does not mean one is not getting any, and is therefore bitter about it. This can simply mean that sex has lost it's meaning, such as in Rocketdog's case, among other things, and so they find pleasure in OTHER things.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by rocketdog

Yes, I've had sex (over 200 times - 3 year girlfriend)

You keep count?

For the record I've probably had that much sex in the last 100 days...


I honestly believe that anyone who isn't interested in sex has never had decent sex. You might be a virgin who doesn't like the sound of it or has some backwards religious shit going on or maybe you've had a load of sex but have been unlucky enough to never have had sex with someone who knows what they're doing. Maybe you're not very good yourself? A bit of practice always helps as does a good teacher (Or two).

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I don't really care about sex so I guess I'm one of those people. It's just something I don't really care about experiencing. I'd like to have a relationship that isn't based off of the sex, so when a girl asks me out or starts prepositioning me for sex, I have no choice but to shoot them down.

Of course, sexual attraction exists for me, but I ignore it. If its someone I care about, I especially ignore it, because I don't want my emotions to become completely based on that.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Ultima

... so when a girl asks me out or starts prepositioning me for sex, I have no choice but to shoot them down.

Originally Posted by Some Girl

Through!
With!
On!
In!
Against!
Behind!
Beside!
INSIDE!!!

What? Why not? ;_;

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist >_>

There's nowhere I can't reach.