eHarmony.

Hey sass, I was just thinking. You keep saying how you like things to be the old fashioned way. Well, aren't arranged marriages the old fashioned way? No need to be able to chat some chick up at a bar when your parents set you up with the only other girl in your village.

Edit: Also, the girls at my school make me want to stay single.

How ya doing, buddy?

Quote:

Are you suggesting that you don't like going to places like bars or clubs to meet women {or men}? That's ABSURD.

I seriously doubt the kind of person I would want to be with would ever be found in a bar or club, although I have no problem going places to meet people.

I was with a girl from my church for a while, but it didn't work out. Oh well. I guess I can file that away in my "real life experience" folder.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by russ

Man, you're in school, you should be trying to hook up with those women in your classes, not worrying with eharmony. College classes are pretty much the easiest way to meet a ton of women with minimal effort and minimal emotional risk.

Hah, I'm not trying too hard with the online dating thing (as in, not at all). And most of the people going to the college I'm in right now are focusing more on just getting the hell OUT of here. But you're right. Once I get into the 4-year thing, I'll go on babe-safaris.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Strangely, Sass sounds more and more right-wing the more of her posts I read. =o

One might say that using alcohol to 'loosen up' so that you feel more confident in approaching women is also cheating (well, not so much cheating as denying you the opportunity to build your skills). You should learn to socialize without relying on chemical enhancement.

FELIPE NO

See, now that I agree with. And what's the diffrerence between being drunk and being behind the computer in terms of honesty and confidence?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Curse you and your good points, SS!!

But really, I guess it isn't such a good idea to rely on anything, whether it's alcohol or a computer or anything else, to make you something you're not. It's just plain deceptive.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

Hey sass, I was just thinking. You keep saying how you like things to be the old fashioned way. Well, aren't arranged marriages the old fashioned way? No need to be able to chat some chick up at a bar when your parents set you up with the only other girl in your village.

You know, as much as I wished we lived in a village setting these days, I can't say it work in today's day and age.

And when I say "old fashioned," I don't mean medieval. You should know that. But hey - arranged marriages often worked out back then. I don't promote them these days, but I hear the Moonies do.

Originally Posted by SS

Strangely, Sass sounds more and more right-wing the more of her posts I read. =o

Thats hilarious. I promote self-responsibility. Not reclusive assholes on the internet.

Quote:

One might say that using alcohol to 'loosen up' so that you feel more confident in approaching women is also cheating (well, not so much cheating as denying you the opportunity to build your skills). You should learn to socialize without relying on chemical enhancement.

Agree.

Who ever said I think the bar is the best place to meet people? It's among one of the worst, depending on what kind of person you are.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Quote:

Posted by Minion
Most of them, like me, just don't enjoy going to conventional meeting places.

Question: isn't that the very definition of being a shut-in?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I didn't say that the bar was a great place to meet people, but I think I was the one who mentioned bars. I mentioned bars because in my area, bars are where most of the people around my age {mid-twenties} go to socialize on Friday nights. Personally I drink very little and wouldn't go to a bar to try to meet someone, because chances would be reasonably high that we would be incompatible. What would be the odds that I would be dragged to a bar with friends and meet some girl who is similar to me in her drinking and bar hopping habits who was also dragged to the bar with her friends? Probably kind of low. Also, re: using dating sites to meet people in your area who have similar interests to you, why not go out to a place which caters to this interest and see if you can meet people there. Just a thought.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by russ

Also, re: using dating sites to meet people in your area who have similar interests to you, why not go out to a place which caters to this interest and see if you can meet people there. Just a thought.

Agree 100%.

For example. I hate to bring this up, but (EDITTED FOR MEMBERNAME) was telling me last night about how he's "making efforts" to meet people - by browsing Craigslist and other online services for friends.

This is almost so completely beyond comprehension for me. "I am going to make friends IN REAL LIFE using the internet!" With that expressed intent. Mind-blowing.

And Monkey: YES. ^_^

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

You know, as much as I wished we lived in a village setting these days, I can't say it work in today's day and age.

And when I say "old fashioned," I don't mean medieval. You should know that. But hey - arranged marriages often worked out back then. I don't promote them these days, but I hear the Moonies do.

So you're not so much old fashioned as you just think things should be a certain way and you use 'old fashioned' as a way to make it seem like you have justification for your stance.

Also, I think SkyDragon is going to have an arranged marriage in a few years. I remember him talking about it a while ago in chat. It's hardly medieval times for him.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

So you're not so much old fashioned as you just think things should be a certain way and you use 'old fashioned' as a way to make it seem like you have justification for your stance.

Depends.

I'm thinking you only consider 1800 and back as old fashioned. I call that "archaeic."

It's an ambiguous term:

Originally Posted by Dictionary

old-fash·ioned adj.

1. Of a style or method formerly in vogue; outdated.
2. Attached to or favoring methods, ideas, or customs of an earlier time: old-fashioned parents.

Essentially anything that is outdated and from the past.

Quote:

Also, I think SkyDragon is going to have an arranged marriage in a few years. I remember him talking about it a while ago in chat. It's hardly medieval times for him.

I had a friend who dropped out of high school because of an arranged marriage.

Whats your point.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by russ

Also, re: using dating sites to meet people in your area who have similar interests to you, why not go out to a place which caters to this interest and see if you can meet people there.

A few posts back RacinReaver found this on the eHarmony website:

Quote:

At eHarmony, our compatibility matching looks at what is on the inside - the qualities that are vital to succesful relationships. We do not take things like life-style and shared interests into consideration as they hold a different level of importance for each individual. We invite you to share these items through the guided communication process and explore their importance to each of you.

In other words, interests like reading books and playing a sport aren't taken into account. These kinds of things are what you use if you go searching in your local area for people, but eHarmony thinks that these kinds of things hold no real value if you're trying to find someone you'll really be compatible with.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

But hey - arranged marriages often worked out back then.

This is the most ignorant statement you've made yet. I don't even know what to say. You belong in the 18th century.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Whats your point.

My point is that arranged marriages aren't necessarily archaic (PS, if I point out a spelling error on your part, does it mean I automatically win the point, too?). Hell, I'm pretty sure they lasted in Japan through World War II.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

College age kids have a good option. Alabama is pretty unique in that pretty much anywhere in the state, you are an hour's drive away from a metropolis where you can find something that suits your needs. Tuscaloosa, Montgomery, Huntsville, Mobile, and Birmingham.

But I see your point, and it is valid. I think, though, that most people, if they are unhappy where they live because the area does not offer them anything that interests them, tend to migrate to somewhere that offers them something. I don't particularly care for where I'm living and don't feel like it offers much for me, and I would like to have a significant other in my life, but at the same time, my career is priority one right now and I have a job that will be very helpful for my career in the longterm. So I stick around here for a while longer and explorer options for moving to somewhere that does offer things which cater to my interest more. At some point you have to decide if you're living in the right place.

Now, I'm not saying that meeting your significant other online is bad, but I wouldn't go out to the world wide web specifically seeking to meet my next exgirlfriend-turned-lesbian.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

My point is that arranged marriages aren't necessarily archaic (PS, if I point out a spelling error on your part, does it mean I automatically win the point, too?). Hell, I'm pretty sure they lasted in Japan through World War II.

They are far less common than they once were, however. Much like my old-fashioned point of view.

Just like women who cook, women who sew, and women who tend exclusively to the children are slowing becoming less and less. It is an "old-fashioned" point of view that women belong in the kitchen.

Also, I was taught in school it's archaeic, but whatever. I looked it up and it seems my spelling of the word is ALSO old-fashioned. Much like everything I believe in.

Originally Posted by FallDragon

This is the most ignorant statement you've made yet. I don't even know what to say. You belong in the 18th century.

It's not quite ignorant, sir. I have personally known many people who have been happily married in an arranged marriage. It's usually more of a religious thing from the people I know - some tradition.

Would you like to speak out against that? It goes on today, en masse, in lots of parts of this country. They CHOSE this future.

Also, I may well belong in the 18 century - but I'm doing pretty well here and now.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

It was mostly to point out your statement that "arrangemed marriages often worked out back then." That's because you couldn't get a divorce.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by FallDragon

It was mostly to point out your statement that "arrangemed marriages often worked out back then." That's because you couldn't get a divorce.

So?

I mean, they used it for a very long time. Consider how long divorce has been acceptable. Thats a miniscule amount of time in reference to the amount of time marriage has existed. They just got loose enough to use it.

And now, marriage is taken entirely too lightly, in my opinion. But thats a whole new topic, man.

I guess what I am saying is that "just because you love someone" doesn't necessarily mean you and your lover will make an ever-lasting, long, happy marriage together.

It goes from one extreme to the other, here.

Most amazing jew boots

I think Sass is trying to make the point that, since most marriages wind up loveless anyway, arranged marriages are no different than consensual marriages. Technically this is true, but that's still a pretty damn cynical way to look at it. People's typical lack of judgement in picking their own mates doesn't exactly make it equally okay to force a spouse on someone.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Monkey King

I think Sass is trying to make the point that, since most marriages wind up loveless anyway, arranged marriages are no different than consensual marriages. Technically this is true, but that's still a pretty damn cynical way to look at it. People's typical lack of judgement in picking their own mates doesn't exactly make it equally okay to force a spouse on someone.

I'm not saying forceable arranged marriages are cool. When people CHOSE to be hooked up with a random stranger, thats fine by me. Chances are pretty good that it will work, considering the archetype of the persons getting married to random strangers.

And some people do it for religious purposes. That, if you ask me, is also completely voluntary.

I admit I am a cynic when it comes to marriage. I think its a bunch of bullshit that people do for traditional purposes or religious purposes. There's no real need for it, unless you want to get some tax breaks.

But I think my experiences and observations has made me really SOUR and BITTER about the whole thing. So.

FELIPE NO

Quote:

I admit I am a cynic when it comes to marriage. I think its a bunch of bullshit that people do for traditional purposes or religious purposes. There's no real need for it, unless you want to get some tax breaks.

. . .And then all the costly red tape that comes with a divorce.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Quote:

I'm not saying forceable arranged marriages are cool. When people CHOSE to be hooked up with a random stranger, thats fine by me. Chances are pretty good that it will work, considering the archetype of the persons getting married to random strangers.

I doubt that many people choose to be in an arranged marriage. They were born into that tradition and unless they want to alienate their entire family, they're going to get an arranged marriage. And I think if the person does have the choice, and they decide to get one, that's the worst possible option. It's like saying "I don't even want to try, just give me a random person and I'll suffer through whatever I get."

Jam it back in, in the dark.