Dealbreakers

You'll notice that everyone's list includes an explanation of why they hate that particular thing, so that rules out spam.

And yes, there's definitely such a thing as being too picky. I can personally tolerate a lot more distasteful characteristics in someone I'm not going to be having sex with, but that's just me.

Also, I have two more things to add to my list, and I can't believe I forgot these:

- Someone else already mentioned it, but someone who is too clingy/calls too much/dotes on me constantly/seems obsessed. It's too icky.
- I couldn't date someone with a "grill." (Wow. I sound really white.)

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Here's what I think. Why don't people focus on the positive? Instead of having "dealbreakers", why don't you just figure out what you want and deal with the rest? That is basically how I am, and it's working out pretty well.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

You're missing the point.

The point of a dealbreaker is that it's something you can't overlook. Of course it's important to focus on the positive, and it's a fact that if all you concentrate on in a relationship are the negatives it's never going to work, but dealbreakers are basically hurdles YOU PERSONALLY can't overcome enough to get on with a relationship in the first place.

Are you honestly trying to say that there's nothing a girl could say or do on a first or second date that would make it so that you had no interest in dating her again?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

No, I understand perfectly. I just think indulging pettiness is not particularly constructive or inducive to true happiness.

I was speaking idiomatically.

You didn't answer my question.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

That's because you edited after I posted.

No, I'm not saying that. But none of my "dealbreakers" are petty. She can wear what she wants, scratch her ears, use whatever language she chooses, etc. I'll judge her by her personality.

And before you open your mouth, looks are not a dealbreaker. You're not even going to start a deal with someone you're not physically attracted to, so that doesn't count.

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So you do have dealbreakers. Yours just aren't as "petty" as mine. Also, I already said that (to me) looks aren't necessarily a dealbreaker.

The point of this thread is to find out what everyone's are. If yours are so much more meaningful, that's fine. But for heaven's sake, post them and stop bitching about mine.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I'd like to get back on subject. I've thought of another Dealbreaker.

The silent type. I'm constantly expressing ideas and feelings and openning up to feedback. I can't be with someone who isn't capable of the same openness, honesty, and trust. Heh. I took my last girlfriend to see 'Corpse Bride' to hint that she was being limp with me. It turned out to be pretty good. That was the last thing we did as a couple before breaking up.

I love to know what's going on inside a person I'm with. That's what being 'more than friends' is about. That's my biggest hang up of all. She just wasn't confident enough in herself. She would always tell me that it doesn't matter what she thinks or that it's pointless to talk about her feelings or views. I did everything I could to become comfortable with her isolated intellect. Now I know better than to bother at all.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Wow people have quiet an eclectic taste but this itself is good...for you can't just always be "free for all"

Personally, I can't stand constant swearing or too much make up all the time (I wouldn't mind make up depending on the event or such)

I don't know, these things seem to bother me for some reason. Guess it is just me

How ya doing, buddy?

I can learn to love a person with just about any traits, but I can't feel attraction for anyone who is shallow. If all they think about is themself, the television, and supper .... then they disgust me. My siblings are like that. They drive me nuts. They spent their evenings chowing down on potato chips and watching movies, it was revolting. I still love them. But if a guy has no depth to him .... that's the dealbreaker.

My guy picks his nose and has bad breath, but I can forgive him for that because he is so intelligent ... which is like the biggest turn-on ever.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Hydra

My guy picks his nose and has bad breath

You must be so proud.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I get the feeling that you've never had a dry nose before, Alice. I mean, at some point, blowing just doesn't do much, and you gotta pick it, whether you have a tissue handy or not.

#1. Women who like to feel empowered at the expense of everyone else. Examples of this would be the raucous little troupe of commentators at your local theater. If I wanted to know if you were feeling tense, or if you hate this movie so far, or if you don't like this part or if he shouldn't look behind that door I certainly wouldn't ask you to tell everyone within 20 yards of you. And if hints at this kind of obnoxiousness result in "I didn't talk at all! What are you talking about?" you can fucking forget it.
Another example would be the woman who thinks that she will date me so that she can change all the things she doesn't like, because obviously she knows what is best/is perfect/does not need to change whatsoever. Whether or not I have bad habits is not the point. It's the way you go about it, trying to control me rather than enter into a partnership with me.

Aaaand, that's pretty much it.

Edit: Intelligence I would say is a pretty big part of what I want in a woman too, but since I usually look for women who have a reasonable amount of intelligence in order to go out with them in the first place, it's not really a dealbreaker so much as a requirement.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Hrm, lessee.

Unfounded arrogance. People who are arrogant just because they've got a nice body, or alot of money, or they go to a good school, or what have you. Arrogance especially based on looks is a huge turn off. I'm ok with being mildly arrogant because of your intelligence, though. I'm always attracted to incredibly smart guys, and it's rare to have great mental capability without having some sort of pride attached to it.

Lack of intelligence is naturally a dealbreaker. If you're not at least as smart as I am, forget it. I'm just not attracted to people who can't challenge me mentally.

99% of the time, being shorter than I am is a dealbreaker. It's not a conscious choice, but I'm so self-aware around shorter guys that I can't imagine getting over it enough to date long-term.

Drug habits, alcohol dependance, connections to organized crime--all deal-breakers. Really terrible personal hygene, dealbreaker. Formerly a woman: dealbreaker.

That's all I can think of.

Extra points if you wear aviators and aren't a little poser bitch.

Originally Posted by Sword Familiar

Adding big hands and feet. Dealbreaker #5.

You do know that models are generally required to be 5'9" at the least, which means they're going to have big hands and feet, right? Would you turn down a date with Heidi Klum just for her feet? I doubt it.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Haha big hands and feet. Damn that's shallow.

Double Post:
I guess I should add that I don't really do well with girls who don't say a whole lot. I'm not the most talkative person around, but I am really talkative if I've got someone around who is somewhat talkative.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by nadienne

You do know that models are generally required to be 5'9" at the least, which means they're going to have big hands and feet, right? Would you turn down a date with Heidi Klum just for her feet? I doubt it.

I'm talking hands that match the hands of men and feet that match the feet of Bigfoot here. I'm not very fond of models either. And, quite frankly, if Heidi Klum had man hands I would turn her down in a heartbeat. I like my women short anyways(not too short though).

Quote:

Haha big hands and feet. Damn that's shallow.

I have a right to be shallow when choosing my mate, good sir. :biggrin:

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Someone who generally doesn't have a sense of humor. I enjoy conversations that have a lighter side to them. The level of humor may not be identical to that shared by close friends and I, but it should at least be there.

Someone with an excessively foul mouth. There's no reason to let out swear words when simply engaging in everyday conversation.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Rydia

Someone with an excessively foul mouth. There's no reason to
let out swear words when simply engaging in everyday conversation.

Well, I hope you're happy! You just ruled out Denicalis!

My list keeps getting longer and longer...how I ever found a husband is beyond me, but I just thought of another one:

Someone who isn't a gentleman. For instance, if we went to a restaurant and he walked ahead of me and didn't hold doors, or ordered before me, or just dropped me off without walking me to the door afterward. That might not be a dealbreaker, but I PROBABLY wouldn't go out with him again, unless he was pretty much perfect otherwise.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Alright, guys. Last night, I courted a nice young woman I fancy. She was extremely receptive. She's everything that I'm aware that I look for and has none of the dealbreakers that I'm conscious of. She is very refreshing after a five month stretch of singlehood. She's a Christian-raised girl with an established set of morals and values; something I never cared for until after my two last girlfriends respectively cheated on me and did coke.

I'll let you know what breaks this one, in the event. :love:

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Has anyone thought about what might be a dealbreaker about you? Anyone here have unbearable hygiene and know they need to change? Not to derail the topic of course, but as a footnote.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Wow this might be a fun twist...hmm

I am too quiet, I guess. I don't really start talking much until others talk.
Even then, I hardly give my opinion. Though I am not shy, just a tad err polite I guess? (I prefer letting others talk before I do)

HOW ABOUT YOU Hydra? (You brought it up hahah)

I was speaking idiomatically.

I'm hyper. I pounce. I have situational humor. If you don't like high energy and randomness, I'm not for you.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Girls that are too serious and stressed about everything.
One time, I was with my girlfriend in the kitchen, and I used a fork that had touched a piece of raw meat on a cooked bit of meat by accident, and she just went friccin' mental about it! Now that's the sort of nonsense I can't stand! Little things like that lead to an eventual break-up : )
Oh, and if a girl is as tall as I am, then that would be VERY bad, for me.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Well, I hope you're happy! You just ruled out Denicalis!

You know, if this were real life, your obsession with him would undoubtedly end with you two fucking. Large amounts of conflict usually lead to large amounts of sexual tension.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Hydra

Has anyone thought about what might be a dealbreaker about you? Anyone here have unbearable hygiene and know they need to change? Not to derail the topic of course, but as a footnote.

Ooooh, fun! Yes, I've spent a great deal of time thinking about that, and I am guilty of tons of things that some guys would HATE.

I am horribly old-fashioned, I'm vain, I overspend, I flirt with other men, and I probably talk too much.

Originally Posted by nadienne

You know, if this were real life, your obsession with him would undoubtedly end with you two fucking. Large amounts of conflict usually lead to large amounts of sexual tension.

Now that would be hilarious, although I'd have to turn off every light in a 10-mile radius and he'd probably smother my bitchy ass with a pillow afterward.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Quote:

She can wear what she wants, scratch her ears, use whatever language she chooses, etc. I'll judge her by her personality.

It's interesting that you think you can determine personality without having to understand anything they're saying. Also, clothing and physical habits help build the picture of what that persons personality is, don't dismiss it as irrelevant.

There's nowhere I can't reach.