Your most memorable FAILURE at cooking (v.2)

Originally Posted by Aoie_Emesai

Well..... for me that's everytime I cook. Last time i made instant pudding, I went wrong ^_^. So basically, i'm a bad cook.

XD, how did you mess up on instant pudding?? well, it is true about you. Hope ya find a good wife that can cook . There are a couple of times where I do forget to check the food even though I did it right. I just don't pay attention and then my food burns..

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by GELB-1

You all fail. Here is my now famous MAC AND CHEESE OF DEATH story. BEHOLD.

Now this involves my friend Kurtis, as he's just as inept (if not more so) than I am.

So he calls me up one day.

"Hey Frans, I'm hungry. Come over and we'll cook up some food." he says. "Well, ok then, sounds like a plan to me!" is my response.

But he only had mac and cheese in his place, so he asked me to bring something. But WHAT. Well, I had a package of bacon in the fridge. AWESOME. I'll bring that!

So I do. And I get to his place and by this point, we're both famished. So we immediately go into the whole cooking process. We are boiling two packages of macaroni here. And we're also cooking up the bacon at the same time. Since we're so hungry, we're basically eating it straight out of the pan.

As we are doing this, and waiting for the water to boil, we realize we've eaten all the bacon. So while we are slightly saddened by this, it only makes our resolve to consume the tasty mac and cheese that much higher.

But when we get to the cruicial phase, the one where oyu add the milk and cheese powder, we stopped.

"Do you smell that Kurt? What is it? Why does it smell so good?" I asked. "I think it's the bacon grease!" was the response I got. And damn, I tell you, it smelled DELCIOUS.

"I just got an idea. Why don't we put this into the mac and cheese?" "Ok, but how much do we put in?" "It' sonly about a cup of grease or so, just put it all in." So we did.

And holy SHIT, did that mac and cheese smell amazing. If love has a smell, that's what it was. So we plopped it down on our plates, and we went at it HARDCORE. Just chwoing down on this shit like no tomorrow.

But then something happened. About halfway into the mac and cheese mountains, we both looked up and stopped eating. And we just knew it by the look in each others faces that we were totally fucked. See, this was the magical point where the stomach wakes up and says "Are you retarded? FUCK YOU".

So we BOLTED for the bathrooms. Thankfully he has two in his place, and we literally shit our entire insides out. I was on that toilet for what felt like forever, and I was basically shitting out water by the end of it all. It was gross.

We couldn't sleep, we were in such pain. I was on the spare bed and shaking, he was on his bed and having convulsions of some sort. My stomach ached like a bitch. I think we were both awake for about 48 hours. We seriously thought we were going to die. It was HORRIBLE.

But we survived, and later on after asking m dad (who's a doctor), it turns out we should have had our stomaches pumped. Oh well though, it was fun. And it was by far the tastiest mac and cheese ever created by man. It was AMAZING and wonderful. It's just a shame eating it probably took 10 years off my lifespan.

I'd make it again if it wouldn't have the horrible side effects too.

You sir, have won the internet...yet again. Great story though. Brought me a giggle or two.

How ya doing, buddy?