Dating best friends: Good Idea or Bad Mistake

Ok, so I've got a friend. A REALLY REALLY REALLY good friend.
She's really pretty, she's funny, insane (my type o' gal), but she's still holding a grudge against her ex. They broke up over the summer and she still turns purple with rage @ the mentioning of his name.
Of course, there's a story behind it: he was cheating on her and about 5 other girls at the same time. They all called him up in succession, cussed him out, and then broke up with him. This was the result of a 6way phone conference they had with each other talking bad about him behind his back.

I really really like her, but I'm not sure I like her like THAT (I have a good feeling that I'm asexual, although I am quite fond of clevage... FERGIE!! anyway....) and I don't want her wrath to come down on me in the same way if we DO break up, should we go out.

So, I'm just wondering: should I date my best friend?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I'll share a story for you:

I had a pretty good friend in Grade 9 (sort of young, so I guess you could blame that for it not working out.) Anyways, she had a crush on me, but I was hesitant. Personally, I didn't want to ruin the good friendship we had going on. She was really persistent, so what the hell, right?

We went out for 2 months? Probably not even that long. I decided not to act different that I did when we were friends. I figured that if she liked me as a friend, she'd like me the same way if we were going out. NOT! She expected me to be all romantic to the point of disgust. Yeah, I tried, but I didn't want it to get out of hand, so I tried to ignore it. Big mistake.

We talk occasionally now, but I regret it. I wish we never went out, because our perfectly good friendship went down the drain, and it'll never be as good as it was before we went out.

I'm not saying don't go for it, I'm saying that if you really want to, great! But just keep in mind that it's the friendship that really counts, and you have to be careful not to tamper with it when you do go out. Or else, you'll end up never talking to her again. I advise that you talk to her about what you and her expect when you take this friendship to a new level. Feelings, attitudes, and whether or not you should start eating her face right away may be good topics to discuss.

Good luck. Hope it helps!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Depends on the friend. I had a good friend in high school - I would have considered her my best friend (female) at the time (why best female friend must be dilineated becomes clear shortly). I developed a crush on her, and eventually asked her to junior prom. She turned me down and asked out my best (guy) friend. I figure that means she's absolutely not interested, and move on.

Fast forward to freshman year of college. Despite the fact that we both moved to different states our senior year (her to AZ, me to VA), we were still friends and ended up going to the same college. Partway through first semester she reveals that she's always liked me and would like to go out. We do that whole thing, she comes to visit me over the summer, we get back to sophomore year, and she goes psycho - won't eat without me, holds it against me if I do anything (including with family) without her, etc. Eventually I work through a mutual friend to get her to dump me, because I don't want to be blamed for future emotional instability. Eventually I leave for 2 years on a mission for my church and write her no less than 3 times, and she never responds. When I get back, she continues her silence (she got married while I was gone, and didn't tell me - I found out through a mutual friend) and has only recently broken it when I emailed her to congratulate her on her new baby girl (again found out through a mutual friend).

Post script: the mutual friend seriously likes me, and has for about 4 years now. She just doesn't do anything for me. We're close friends, but there's always a divide because she knows I know she likes me, and all the iterations of that confusing statement.


Bottom line: it's sometimes good, but often dangerous to date close friends.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Quote:

We talk occasionally now, but I regret it. I wish we never went out, because our perfectly good friendship went down the drain, and it'll never be as good as it was before we went out.

Perfectly good friendships go down the drain ANYWAY. I had lots of cchick friends when i was 14 or however old I was when I was in grade 9 and I dont talk to any of them nowadays. Most of them turned into bitches. I didn't get the pleasure of a romantic liason with any of them either.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I would avoid it, most often than not it doesn't work out. I have been out with my best friend, but luckily we knew it wasn't going to work out early and it wasn't too awkward afterwards.

P.S. Your poll choices suck, hard. I don't know how any of them could be of any help to you.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Wee~~

What is moderating power if not to be abused?

How ya doing, buddy?

you probably added the perfect option.

FELIPE NO

I think that it would honestly depend on the friend, how long you've known each other, etc etc.

I dated a very good friend the summer before we went to college, and about 8 months into it, he broke up with me because of distance or something... 2 states away at different schools and all that. It's been almost 2 years since he broke up with me, and it only recently turned ugly because he persistantly wanted to get back together, where as I've already moved on.

I'd say that because we were friends for 3 years before we even considered dating, it was ok after we broke up... and the only problem was when he started getting emo/angsty over my not wanting to get back together.

So like I said, depends on how well you know this girl. You could just ask... even in a joking manner.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I've dated one of my best friends and yeah, just didn't work out - but it ended well and we still hang out and talk ever so often I must say it did change our relationship a bit but I wouldn't say it's something dramatic.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I dated my bestfriend, didn't work out in the end, and now we don't talk and she probably hates my guts. I was best friends with her for about 2years, and dated her for about 3months until her parents found out and she couldn't take it.

I'm not gonna really give you a yes or no answer, even though I did answer the poll >_>, I'm just going to tell you that if you do ask your bestfriend out, and things go sour, try not to be all sad and stuff, because you were willing to take that risk, and you knew what could happen.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I ended up getting into a two year relationship with my best friend. Thought it was going to work out, and when it didn't, ruined our friendship as well. Though, mostly I think it was who we are that caused that, I would only say to date your friends at your own peril. Sometimes it can turn out absolutely great, other times... not so much.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Depends on the friend, IMO. Many factors would come to mind for me: how often do you spend time with each other?; has she got a laid-back personality?; do you share similar interests?. If you don't spend too much time together, if she's reasonably laid-back and doesn't get stressed easily and if you share interests to talk about in case things get awkward/silent on a date, then I see not problem...although it is fairly risky. If it didn't work, it would never be the same friendship. I'd say there's a 1 in 10 chance that if you broke up with your best friend then you'd still be friends without the awkwardness of the situation.

So I'm roughly 80/20, with "No" being the majority.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

How much do you want it? It's more a question of what you're willing to risk, because it could go either way. I've heard plenty of bad things but I dated one of my best friends and we still get on well even after we broke up, and the same goes for a friend of mine. It can be okay if things don't work out, but as I say, it's a matter of taking your chances.

How ya doing, buddy?

Ok.
Thanks, ya'll.

I've decided that when school starts back, I won't ask her out. It could go wrong in so many ways.

once again, thank you!

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?