[Multiplatform] Tittie's Titferno - Devil Wants To Get His Cloven Hooves On Ripe Titties

So I downloaded the demo for this little hack-n-slash title and, even though it has so-so flow for an action title that feels like a God of War clone, it's the imagery and the background that really got me liking this title. The game is based on the writings of Dante Alighieri (most notably, The Divine Comedy and Inferno) and and starts off in Italy and moves straight to the nine levels of hell. The boss fights are MAD crazy.

About the only central form of information for this game was (sadly) its Wikipedia entry.

Quote:

Later, in October 2009, it was announced that the game would include an Xbox 360 achievement and a PlayStation 3 trophy entitled "Bad Nanny", which rewards players for killing unbaptized infants. This sparked a conflict with the International Nanny Association (INA), in which they encouraged supporters to oppose the game. The INA claimed that the achievement is offensive to real nannies and that it also promotes real-life violence. In retaliation, the INA asked the Entertainment Software Ratings Board (ESRB) to omit the reward and elements of infant violence. The ESRB insisted that its role was merely to label products appropriately, not to censor them, so their request could not be met. Despite this, the INA is still boycotting the game with hopes of it being changed before release.

HOLY FUCKBALLS, YES! It's time to kill us sum chillun!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I may pick this up once it drops in price. The demo's gameplay felt like a poor man's God of War to me. It wasn't bad at all, but it wasn't anything particularly special either. All of the story sequences were freaking hilarious though, especially when he was sewing the cross into his chest. They were just so ridiculously stupid.

Between the unintentional hilarity, murdering babies, and the brief shots of Hell actually looking pretty cool it seems worth it if found on sale or bargain bin. I wouldn't be surprised if this one went down pretty fast.

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P.S.

This is as much based on Dante Alighieri as God of War is based on Bill Murray. They took the name and the levels of hell. Pretty much everything else is made up.

Not saying the game won't be cool. It played pretty cool. Just saying. Let's not get all worked up about it being somehow based on great literature.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I just tried the demo today. What the hell, man? EA sure is promoting the hell out of such a mediocre game.

How ya doing, buddy?

Come on, I didn't say it was an adaptation. I like the way they wove the "Nine Levels of Hell" into the story and it's taken from, yeah, great literature. If it makes you feel better, I removed "entirely" from "entirely based" so that it doesn't feel like I've cheated my dear readers into a bait-and-switch. We cool?

I was speaking idiomatically.

I like the setting and even if it wasn't exceptional, I'll probably still get it since I can get it for 10$ at EA.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I agree with Jessy. This game just doesn't have the high end quality of games like Skate 2 and Mass Effect. If only. If only.

Also, Juan, you and I are always cool. Always.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Tritoch

All of the story sequences were freaking hilarious though, especially when he was sewing the cross into his chest. They were just so ridiculously stupid.

Have YOU ever stitched a quilt to your exposed-and-very-well-sculpted chest and abs? No? DIDN'T THINK SO.

(THE SHIT HURTS, OK? WHY YOU GOTTA HATE ON EVERYTHING A NIGGA DO. FUCK.)

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Titante's Titferno. I've never been so embarassed playing a game before and I'm usually pretty shameless about the media I'm into. (I'll probably be there day one).

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Of course they're hyping the shit out of it, considering how fucking terrible the demo is (and it's like....hyper fucking terrible), there's not really much else they can do.

And Toku brings up a valid point. It would be embarrassing to be caught playing this by anyone you know, regardless of who they are.

Alas, though. People like Paco, simpletons, idiots, People like Paco will like it because of the "setting" (nudity).

You want an action game that doesn't suck ass barf? The Bayonetta thread is RIGHT OVER THERE.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Colonel FuckFaggot

You want an action game that doesn't suck ass barf? The Bayonetta thread is RIGHT OVER THERE.

Hidden in Skills's typically charming and eloquent response is a very good point: this game is arriving at a shit awful time, between Bayonetta and God of War III. If it were looking like it was a very good game it'd be a different matter altogether, but all signs point to Mediocretown and so you have to wonder who's going to be grabbing this game, certainly on day one. I think a bargain bin price might help this find a home with a reasonable number of people some months down the line, provided a suitable gap in the release schedule appears, but I think this could be a disappointment for EA, which sadly might only serve as another example to (in the management's eyes) justify their desire to move away from original IP.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Are you people saying that a game could possibly be more embarrassing to play with company than Bayonetta is

Because then you would be implying that the disc is actually just full of clown porn

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Dissolving hair clothes and overtly sexualized terribly terrible dialogue has nothing on shoving jumblies down your throat like a bad Showcase special on the porn industry.

How ya doing, buddy?

Dante's Red Shoe Diaries.

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Originally Posted by Colonel FuckFaggot

People like Paco will like it because of the "setting" (nudity).

Nudity aside, I actually dug the setting and the enemy character designs. I don't know if I'll buy it on day one because, the last time I did that, I ended up with [PROTOTYPE]. Not that it's a bad game or anything but, goddamn, when was the last time I actually sat down to play that game?

(At least it's not Ninety Nine Nights, OK?)

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Colonel FuckFaggot

Dissolving hair clothes and overtly sexualized terribly terrible dialogue has nothing on shoving jumblies down your throat like a bad Showcase special on the porn industry.

Only Canadians would be able to get that joke, but at least we know what Skills loves to do on a Friday night.

I watched a preview about this game on G4TV last night and it does look interesting, but I don't think if its the type of game I would like. I'll wait till its eventual release, and see what the overall consensus is, and then make the choice to buy it or not.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Encephalon

Nudity aside, I actually dug the setting and the enemy character designs. I don't know if I'll buy it on day one because, the last time I did that, I ended up with [PROTOTYPE]. Not that it's a bad game or anything but, goddamn, when was the last time I actually sat down to play that game?

Hold on now. You can't be this excited about corpse boobs and then turn around and insult Prototype. It had its failings, but impaling and devouring the elderly never gets old.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Here's my beef with the demo:

What was wrong with the Crusader armor Dante had on? I was thinking "okay, maybe he had a crisis of faith," but then he goes all emo and shit and stitches a fucking cross into his chest.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Angel Of Light

Only Canadians would be able to get that joke, but at least we know what Skills loves to do on a Friday night.

No, sadly I got that joke as well. Sadly because I know the channel from the show Bliss (which is made even more sad by the fact that we didn't even get the tits here in the US version, yet I still watched it). But I digress.

But yeah, the game felt too much like God of War for my liking. That's not to say that I won't play it one day, but I feel no need to play it when I still have plenty of actual God of War left to play at the moment.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Castlevania's Inferno: Now with crosses and tits.

The demo's alright personally. Story's just hilarious.

Gonna wait for Dante's Purgatorio and Paradiso instead.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I've been waiting for this game since last year when I saw the announcement. February 2010, if I'm not mistaken?

I think despite some silliness scattered elsewhere, the concept itself is pretty cool, judging from how the creators construct Nine Circles of Hell in the website. It seems to adapt Alighieri's Inferno (almost) perfectly! I just finished reading that book a week ago and I'm thrilled to compare them (though I smell upcoming regret...). And yeah, the gameplay is similar to God of War, which drives away several people (but me because I never played God of War^^...--')

And for the cross on his chest (so it IS on his chest!)...I remember that the cross itself is a weapon aside his scythe. But about the stitching...

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Very cool game, I wanna explore hell allright. First game that lets me do it. Okay theres others like Spawn for SNES but not this cool.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I really don't get the 'sewing a cross to the chest' part. Just seems unnecessary.

Thankfully, I have Gamefly. So by the time I clear out the backlog of games I need to beat, this should be readily available.

FELIPE NO

I thought this was pretty fucking HILARIOUS:

Quote:

One title not highlighted by EA CEO John Riccitiello today was the release of Dante Alighieri's Inferno, part of The Divine Comedy. Yes, that's the book, soon to be republished bearing the Dante's Inferno video game's likeness. Random House and EA have buddied up to release of paperback edition of the epic poem upon which the God of War-esque hack and slash adventure Dante's Inferno draws upon for inspiration. It's the Henry Wadsworth Longfellow translation, if that convinces you to pick up a copy. But it's likely the other bonuses, including an introduction from Dante's executive producer Jonathan Knight and "a 16-page, full-color art insert showcasing the evolution of characters and environments from the classic poem to the video game" that will spur gamer's interest to read. The book, the Dante's Inferno version, will hit bookstore shelves on January 19. The game hits retailers a few weeks later, so spoilers will abound. Of course, the Divine Comedy has been around for about 700 years now, so the statute of limitations on spoiler warnings may be up.

Dante's Inferno: The Official Novelization Of The Book - Dante's Inferno - Kotaku

EA is awesome.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

It's even easier than writing another Halo book.

Jam it back in, in the dark.