Friends keeping me "sheltered"

So lately I've wondered why three of my friends (which include my ex) suddenly stop what they were talking about whenever I'm around. They seem to go on another topic entirely once I'm in earshot. This made me quite suspicious, as I caught a catch of "so I went up and talked to him because he's cute" once.

Yesterday, my ex was detailing his weekend plans and today's involved going out "with a special someone." This made me even more suspicious and confirmed my hunch that he was into someone else. Now, mind you, I'm over him.

I checked his MySpace last night and found that his status was now "In a relationship." A new person was the first on his friend list, so I checked their MySpace and their status was, too, "In a relationship." I couldn't sleep after this revelation because of personal issues that more or less don't have anything to do with what I'm talking about. (It's nearing springtime and love seems to be in the air for everyone but me; that has me quite annoyed. But, of course, this isn't about my lack of a love life.)

Now, the fact that my ex is now going out with someone else and two of our friends knew about it has me really angry. It's obvious that they don't talk about it in front of my face because they think I'm so sensitive to the idea of my ex chasing after someone else, but I'm more hurt by their opinion of me than his making out with someone that's not me. I've given off signals before that I don't take well to the idea of him going for someone, but that was before I got over him. Both of my friends know quite well that I'm over him, and yet they played along with my ex's secrecy.

If they don't talk to me over the weekend about it, well, hell's going to come to school on Monday. I'm just not exactly sure how I'm going to approach it. I considered chewing them out for keeping me in the dark, but now I'm wondering if I should just give them the cold shoulder. Or maybe I should talk to them somewhat rationally instead of blowing up at them. I dunno.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

If you're so over him, why not just ask him about it?

While you're confronting him, you should address the whole secretiveness stuff, too.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by eks

If you're so over him, why not just ask him about it?

While you're confronting him, you should address the whole secretiveness stuff, too.

This is something I'd much rather talk to him about in person. I don't see him at all on weekends.

His track record with keeping secrets from me hasn't been very great, either. He ignored me for a whole week before we broke up a second time because he felt like he wasn't "feeling" our relationship. He failed to tell me, so he decided the best course of action was to ignore me. I confronted him once about it, but he refused to tell me anything. I "went behind his back" (as he calls it) and asked his friends about what was going on, but they didn't offer much in the way of telling me anything. He got pissed about it and finally told me.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Maybe you shouldn't be friends with him anymore? I mean, "with friends like that", ya know?

Sounds like he's not wanting you to move on so he has a "back-up" plan.

Being shady like that isn't something real friends should do.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by eks

Maybe you shouldn't be friends with him anymore? I mean, "with friends like that", ya know?

Sounds like he's not wanting you to move on so he has a "back-up" plan.

Being shady like that isn't something real friends should do.

I've been mad at him before for other reasons. He's always managed to get back again somewhat on my good side because he pays attention to me when nobody else does.

He's quite two-faced anyways, which is something I've taken into consideration many times whenever I'm faced with re-evaluating our friendship. I'm not sure if this is just the last straw or if I want to keep a stable friendship going. Both have their pros and cons, and neither outweigh the other at the moment.

I was speaking idiomatically.

This reminds me of what my cousin does to his girlfriend. He keeps this one girl as his back-up, cheats on her, but she's too content just knowing she's in a relationship to do anything about it. The best way I think is to find someone else and just let your "friendship" with this guy deteriorate. Take initiative and actively seek for someone else instead of feeling helpless.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by soulsteelgray

I checked his MySpace last night and found that his status was now "In a relationship." A new person was the first on his friend list, so I checked their MySpace and their status was, too, "In a relationship." I couldn't sleep after this revelation because of personal issues that more or less don't have anything to do with what I'm talking about.

no offense, but this doesn't exactly sound like you're over him...-.-|||

but i think you should bring it up with your friends...if they're talking about it like you think they are,then confront them about it, and ask why they've kept it a secret...
i you want them to tell you something u consider important to u, then just go for it and drag it out of them

Originally Posted by Devo

Fuck him. I'm sorry but if he does nothing but manipulate you, you're better off without him. It sounds like he's only good to you to keep you from abandoning him, so dump him as a friend. True friends don't hurt you, you're better off lonely than with a friend who is more likely to fuck with your feelings than support you.

what devo said. unfortunately, if he's so two-faced, it sounds like you're a backup...as harsh as that may sound...>.<

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by ShadowScythe

unfortunately, if he's so two-faced, it sounds like you're a backup...as harsh as that may sound...>.<

I think so too, because I have been in similar situation myself. Few years back I was kinda like a backup buddy to most of my "friends". When they were having a hard time from their own friends, I was suddenly popular to hang with. But in that instant that they managed to have their friends back, it was bye bye for me.
And the sad part in this whole mess was that I knew the whole time what purpose they had in mind for me, and still I considered them as my friends. I was lonely at that time, and extremely shy, so that might explain my behaviour.

How ya doing, buddy?

It seems two things are bothering you
#1) myspace ruins your life (not one of the two things bothering you)
#1) you don't know the truth
#2) your friends and ex are hiding the truth from you.

There's too many things to consider and not enough information so just give yourself some time for yourself to calm down about it. Then ask your friends about your ex and whatever you want. Depending on their answers, you can give yourself some more time if you want and everything else is up to you.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by ShadowScythe

no offense, but this doesn't exactly sound like you're over him...-.-|||

It's not so out-of-the-ordinary to check up on your friends' MySpaces. He's no exception.

Originally Posted by jouhou

It seems two things are bothering you
#1) myspace ruins your life (not one of the two things bothering you)
#1) you don't know the truth
#2) your friends and ex are hiding the truth from you.

Well, I'm not even on MySpace. I just poke and prod around my friends' MySpaces and that's that. I feel like MySpace is creepy and I'd be belittling myself by registering on such a site.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I think ShadowScythe meant by you not being over him is the fact that you're not sleeping because you were thinking about him. And his new friend.

I would ditch him. Ignore him. It's not worth the effort to keep up with an already faltering relationship.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Dee

I think ShadowScythe meant by you not being over him is the fact that you're not sleeping because you were thinking about him. And his new friend.

It was more like his being in a relationship was the last straw for me. The atmosphere around here has more or less been the typical "love in the air" scenario associated with spring, and my love life has been nonexistent for awhile now. My thought process at the time was, "Well, dammit, what's wrong with me if I have a string of failed crushes and he can just saunter off and get a boyfriend?"

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?