Partners with lots of history!!

I just started dating someone, and its been just over two weeks now and i just found out that he at the ripe old age of 17 has had 42 previous relationships!!! which makes me number 43 and I have had 4 before him. For one I am the jealous type so immediately I was jealous for things I didnt even know about for some reason he keeps on bringing up his past 2 exes and there is some dark stuff in his past that is just hard to listen to and he just says it in passing "oh thats the spot where i got handcuffed" "thats the police station where I was nearly stripped searched" "this time last year I nearly Over Dosed" I guess i feel a bit innocent i mean he has had a LIFE and what I went through high school got average grades then passed. And when i see his friends I always feel like they tread softly when they talk about him there are pauses and eye contacts and "well I better let him tell you that...." The truth is I dont want to know. Is that selfish?? I mean its been two weeks I dont feel like carrying the burdens of his life. And is is it reaaly that important to know every minute detail of somebodies past to be able to have a healthy and long lasting relationship with them? cause I am scared that one day he will sit me down and tell it allllll to me, i dont even know how to react to hearing things like that am I supposed to comment? to just sit quite and look at them with a expression. And to top it off there is a slight tone of superiority when he does bring up some of the bad stuff hes done, like I havnt experienced anything.... but I reaaally like him hahaha

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43 partners? Sounds like bullshit to me. Infact most of that stuff sounds like bullshit or the guy's a complete retard. He's probably trying to impress you.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I was getting ready to say the same thing. Guy's a liar. Don't do it.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

He sounds pretty desperate to get you to like him too.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I'm not trying to insult you, because I can TOTALLY see myself when I was your age in you. Always going after the bad boys. But seriously, does this guy have anything going for him? I honestly can't even see why you're even interested in someone like this. He's been in trouble and has the audacity to believe he's somehow better than you because of it, he doesn't have the good sense to stop mentioning his exes, plus, he's obviously a liar.

At your age I would have had fun with this guy and thought about the consequences later, but being older and wiser I can tell you that this guy is throwing up some serious red flags. I'd run for the hills if I were you.

I was speaking idiomatically.

43 partners and he's 17?

Either he's a HUGE fucking liar or he really has had 43 (including you) partners - which is a good indicator to get the hell out.

Are we talking sexual partners? Because that right there says one thing to me: If you plan to do anything with this guy, make sure you get some tests done beforehand - the both of you.

If he wants to brag about 43 partners, maybe he should get checked. Turn it on him.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I work with a guy like this. Every shift I have with him he's telling us about some new chick he's banging, and how naaaasty she is. How baaaad she is. How aaaaawesome he is.

He's full of shit, just like your friend. Either that or, from the way you tell it, he's an unsavory sort of character, far from through with his evil ways. The two of you need to be disillusioned from the idea that going through people like they're fruit snacks is something to be impressed by. I'm an echo, but run for the hills girl.

Edit: Remember, Grease is a story. Don't expect your Zucko to join the baseball team for you.

FELIPE NO

Yes, because all people who have multiple sexual partners (not necessarily at the sametime) are all nasy, unclean, unscrupulous, filthy, dispicable people. Not only should you distance yourself from them, but you should also leer at them, look down your nose at them in public.

Fucking Christ, give me a break.

You know, coming from some of my experiences in life, especially in a large city with a huge "underclass" it's really not that hard to believe that he could have a few run-ins with the law. As for 43 sexual partners, he's probably exaggerating. His stories are more than likely exaggerations, but whatever.

I'm not advocating irresponsible, frivolous sexual encounters, but there are ways to do it and keep yourself safe and clean. I get regular check-ups and blood draws, as the military has a vested interesting in making sure that all of its property remains undamaged and clean. Also, trimming/shaving helps against the transmission of certain diseases. Condoms, the pill, there're tons of reasonable contraceptives available to people under the age of 18.

As for a relationship with this guy: If he's had 43 partners at such a young age, what makes you think he's gonna stick around for long? Also, if he's lying, he obviously has no self-confidence. As for his supposed criminal activity: what kind of things does he get busted for? Is he abusive to other people? If you're not comfortable with that, then I suggest moving on.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Leonheart, I think we need a bit more info before coming to a conclusion. Are you a gay guy?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

ROTFLMAO 42 partners. Hilarious.

Generally, one should try to not think of the background story of one's partner. It's pointless and also quite painful in my opinion. In my current relationship my girlfriend has "been with" some of my friends previously, even. That's pretty hard to deal with to be honest, but the best thing to do is to think of the present and the future rather than the past since it can't be changed anyway.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

43 isn't 100% IMPOSSIBLE NEVER GONNA HAPPEN

Just because YOU guys don't get laid doesn't mean that this guy doesn't.

Saaaay he started dating at age 13 that's just over ten partners a year. Not that unreasonable considering when kids are that young they tend to go from person to person fairly quick. I mean, he's probably exaggerating, but 43 isn't exactly the world record for homeruns.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Well, either way, if you still consider going out with this guy have you tried talking to him? Let him know that you aren't interested in his past partners as he is going out with YOU not with THEM anymore. And let him know never, ever, compare them with you. I remember I mentioned about my exex to my ex bf before and he got helllllllla mad >___> ever since that I never mention about my exex anymore. <.<

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Leonheart, got one phrase for you:

"Why are you wasting time on this guy?"

I was speaking idiomatically.

MetheGelfling, yeah I am a gay guy and hes clean Ive seen his test results haha. I seem to be getting mainly negative responses from this forum but i kinda hinted that I dont wnat to hear about the exes and yeah he didnt bring them up for the first time which was a welcome relief. And yeah i was also wondering how long he expects this to last and its febuary now and hes saying I should help him plan his birthday party which is in OCTOBER ive never even dated anyone that long. And i think we was mainly busted for substance abuse... maybye I will take the shallow route and just have fun with him, but i really wanted something long lasting...

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

You can't take the "shallow" route if you want a long lasting relationship. It just doesn't work out.

Feelings will eventually attach themselves and you'll fall for him like ditz. You either cut him off now or never.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Cosmos V

ROTFLMAO 42 partners. Hilarious.

Generally, one should try to not think of the background story of one's partner. It's pointless and also quite painful in my opinion. In my current relationship my girlfriend has "been with" some of my friends previously, even. That's pretty hard to deal with to be honest, but the best thing to do is to think of the present and the future rather than the past since it can't be changed anyway.

You can't change the past, but it sure is helpful in predicting the future. There's so much you can learn from someone based on their past. Certainly, people can and do change as they mature, but usually not so much that they become a completely different person.

And how the hell can you people scoff at 42 partners? That would be nasty beyond belief for someone my age. THIS KID IS 17. I stand by my position that it's either a bold-faced lie or this is the nastiest, most disease-riddled whore who ever wore socks.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

If this guy has really had 42 past relationships then get the hell out. Theres no way that your relationship is likely to survive. You could just be another notch on his belt. Plus think of off all the stuff he could throw in your face if you decided you didn't want to do something. "My 4th relationship girl would've done it" it's not fair on you to have to rey and put up with this crap.
But seeing as he's only 17 it does seem a tad strange for him to have had 42 relationships. They obviously can't have been serious ones. I think he's more then likely lying about almost everything he's every told you just to impress you. it's not right or fair to you.
Get out of it and find some one else whose not such a liar/ whore.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

For what it's worth, I also think he's lying. His behaviour is inconsistent with his story: he's asking you to do stuff for his birthday which is 8 months away! That really doesn't sound like someone who has an average of more than one partner per month (assuming he started at age 14, just under 1 per month if he started at 13).

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Could you actually remember 42 separate people?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Hmmm, now that RR reminds me of it, I actually can't remember much about 42 separate peoples, unless they all happens to be clones of each other on some level.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

You must have a shitty memory.

I was speaking idiomatically.

It's a relationship that lasts one night, kind of like a single serving friend!

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Originally Posted by Alice

You can't change the past, but it sure is helpful in predicting the future. There's so much you can learn from someone based on their past. Certainly, people can and do change as they mature, but usually not so much that they become a completely different person.

That is true. But it's very easy to get hung up on details which serves as little more than to make you depressed (of course I can only talk from experience). So while the past shouldn't be ignored (personally I'd stay away from anyone who has had 42 partners, regardless of age actually) it shouldn't be dwelled too deepily on either. :S

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Leonheart

MetheGelfling, yeah I am a gay guy and hes clean Ive seen his test results haha.

Most of the gay guys that I know have had a number of partners before they reached the age of 18 or 21. I knew a guy who was 19 who would date guys in their 40's who would bring him to swinging parties and orgies. I'm sure he racked up a large number of sex partners. From what I've seen (and I don't mean to be offensive in any way) gay men have a tendency to be a lot more promiscuous than heterosexuals.

The most important thing is that the guy's clean. If that's the case, and you trust him, then go nuts I guess. Although I can't imagine anybody gay or straight who's had 40+ sexual partners looking to settle down. Past behavior (especially since he seems to kinda brag about it) is the best way to predict future behavior. I wouldn't get your hopes up about taming this guy.

In the words of Ice Cube:

"So chickity-check yo self before you wreck yo self
[Ice] Cause big dicks up yo ass is bad for yo health"

Be careful.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

Could you actually remember 42 separate people?

Thats pretty much what I was gonna say. While it is concievable that he might have had 42 other partners, the fact he knew he had exactly 42 is unlikely at best.

I just wrote another 2 paragraphs and then realised I'm only reiterating what others had said. So, er... go with them.

Originally Posted by MetheGelfling

In the words of Ice Cube:

"So chickity-check yo self before you wreck yo self
[Ice] Cause big dicks up yo ass is bad for yo health"

Be careful.

Heh. Chickity-check yo self...

How ya doing, buddy?