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Resume is an art, right? (Aw, fuck it, no content in here anyway).
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Congle line of abuse. Or is that conga-line. Or congaline.
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Old Jan 8, 2014, 12:43 PM Local time: Jan 8, 2014, 10:43 AM #1 of 15
Resume is an art, right? (Aw, fuck it, no content in here anyway).

Hi, critique my resume, give me formatting tips, please help me out! I suck.

Please keep in mind this is for a higher education application, Dietetics specifically, so the food experience is relevant and two pages is OK. No more than TWO.

Thanks, dorks.

http://www.filedropper.com/resumedietetics

Jam it back in, in the dark.
YO PITTSBURGH MIKE HERE
 
no


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Old Jan 8, 2014, 07:19 PM Local time: Jan 8, 2014, 04:19 PM 2 #2 of 15
Bear in mind I've never been required to write a resume. Breathe in. And out.

Something about the formatting could use some work. I don't know that I have the technical vocabulary (or expertise) to help you there. To this untrained eye, though, the subsections under the headings being formatted with a hanging indent looks off. And the way the dates of employments aren't aligned with the right side looks sloppy. Maybe this is how you're supposed to format I resume, though. Who knows? Not me. My strategy of lucking into decent jobs has gotten me this far.

What I am significantly more qualified to offer advice on is your grammar. I've performed hiring duties for a retail store (of which standards are obviously lower) and if someone couldn't be bothered to spell properly or at least make an effort toward proper grammar his or her resume was summarily dismissed. But, yes, to the point:
  • Unless I'm mistaken, it is properly formatted "Associate of Science", without the 's' on the end of associate. With a quick Google search, I found usage of both on college websites. One school even made it possessive. Likely doesn't matter!
  • Under 'Eurest Dining', that sentence gets clumsy. Consider: "[. . .] cold-, hot-, and fry-station short order [. . .]" or something to that effect.
  • Under '1789', there's either an extra comma or an extra 'and' between preparation and execution. I don't think 'safety' ought to be capitalized, either.
  • Be consistent about your use of the Oxford comma. You use it exclusively on the first page, but let it slide under 'Meals on Wheels'.
  • Be consistent with your tense. I don't know standard resume protocol, but for past jobs/extracurriculars duties either 'include' or 'included', not both.
  • Under 'Food Scavengers', it should be 'led' instead of 'lead'.
  • Under 'Wine and Cheese', it should be 'palate' instead of 'pallet'.
So, yeah, little things here and there. Nothing major. Best of luck, man.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Last edited by YO PITTSBURGH MIKE HERE; Jan 8, 2014 at 09:41 PM.
Radez
Holy Chocobo


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Old Jan 8, 2014, 08:37 PM 2 #3 of 15
Haven't looked at it yet, but if we're talking about food, I think it's "palate" instead of "palette" or "pallet."

Eric, I would reformat the entire thing. There are a few "standard" resume formats out there. It's a fair bet that hiring departments will be looking for something in a format similar to one of those. I am partial to the chronological format myself:

http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Chronological-Resume

Your resume as it is now is really fluffy. I think you could probably cut it down to just one page. Your secondary education doesn't need to be half a page long. Put the actual degrees or certificates you earned, and put the relevant degree you're currently pursuing, but I would take out the pieces of it where you list a major or a class taken.

You might want to add more detail into your work experience as well. You have what your primary duties were for each job, but at any time at those jobs did you accept responsibilities that were not part of those regular duties, or do something outside the normal course of work? Did you do anything that stood out, or that you, personally, were proud of? You might want to add information like that.

I would also suggest getting rid of the awards/achievements thing. If the position you're applying for will or has the potential to involve office work, then include your proficiency in MS office in a professional skills/certifications section along with your food handler's permit. I think you can dump the GPA achievements though. You've been in the workforce for over 6 years, so at this point, your work should be speaking far more strongly than your performance in school. I think including it undermines your work performance.

I think the extracurriculars are great. Need to work on the phrasing of some of it, but get rid of your name, address, etc on the second page.

In summary, have maybe four sections: education, professional skills/certifications, work experience, extracurriculars. Flesh out work experience and extracurriculars with exceptional accomplishments in addition to basic duties. Narrow down education and kill some of the fluff. I think you'll be more successful with a leaner resume that is targeted to your position than a longer one with a broader scope. Keep in mind that the hiring manager will be reviewing multiple documents. If it's hard for him to find the interesting parts, he won't bother looking for them.

One last thought. The point of a resume is to present work and education experience in a summary format in a way that will allow someone reading it to quickly assess whether you are a good candidate for a position. Your guiding principles should be clarity and brevity. Don't feel like you need to copy a specific format rote, just make sure that the information you want to communicate is easily accessible to the person reading it.

Finally, if you want to shoot me an email address, I will send you my resume as another example.

How ya doing, buddy?

Last edited by Radez; Jan 8, 2014 at 09:04 PM.
Congle line of abuse. Or is that conga-line. Or congaline.
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Old Jan 9, 2014, 12:25 PM Local time: Jan 9, 2014, 10:25 AM #4 of 15
This is extremely useful information, guys, and I really appreciate it. I'm amending as we speak!

Additional Spam:
Also, the education/GPA tidbits are important for this resume. The program I'm applying to is one that incorporates two years of intern work as well as the standard curriculum, so I was trying to edge in some honors from previous schools. That's my reasoning there.

Additional Spam:
Also, also, the application is very specific about the order in which the information is presented, so that's also a thing.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Last edited by Congle line of abuse. Or is that conga-line. Or congaline.; Jan 9, 2014 at 01:52 PM. Reason: This member got a little too post happy.
Congle line of abuse. Or is that conga-line. Or congaline.
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Old Jan 9, 2014, 03:37 PM Local time: Jan 9, 2014, 01:37 PM #5 of 15
OK, here's a Q&A I need help on as well:

http://www.filedropper.com/emuqustions_1

I was speaking idiomatically.
THIEF
Hyde


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Old Jan 9, 2014, 03:58 PM #6 of 15
Hey Erik,

A couple quick things.

Secondary education > Education
Line up margins
Try to fit to one page
Add metrics
Have more than 1 bullet point

I can also send you my resume as well. I might try to reformat your resume myself and send it back to you, if you don't mind.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
YO PITTSBURGH MIKE HERE
 
no


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Old Jan 9, 2014, 06:17 PM Local time: Jan 9, 2014, 03:17 PM #7 of 15
I would request someone else take a look at my revisions. There are a couple areas where it comes down to a stylistic choice. Other revisions were attempts to vary your syntax. I may have not correctly identified a that vs. which issue as part of a non-restrictive clause. A comma may be misplaced somewhere (though I don't think so). This will likely soon be proven wrong. The proper formatting of an essay of questions and answers is not something I've yet encountered, so I do not know the rule pertaining to indentation of answers. It looks wrong, as is, but this is little more than a feeling. The answer to the final question feels as though it doesn't illustrate an effective use of managerial power. That may just be another feeling. Also note: I tried to do all of this while still retaining your voice. This is why some things are all over the place. I've given it several readings, though, and it would seem to read decently well. I don't know. Anyway:

Emu Dianetics

Note: This should open to a page containing your original with additions and subtractions noted in a particularly egregious shade of yellow. Let me know if it does not.

FELIPE NO
Congle line of abuse. Or is that conga-line. Or congaline.
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Old Jan 9, 2014, 06:18 PM Local time: Jan 9, 2014, 04:18 PM #8 of 15
Yeah, go for it, just don't over stress it or anything.

Additional Spam:
Oh, yeah, Capo, when I saw all those strikeouts I was pumped. This is really great, thank you!

How ya doing, buddy?

Last edited by Congle line of abuse. Or is that conga-line. Or congaline.; Jan 9, 2014 at 07:17 PM. Reason: This member got a little too post happy.
Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss
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Old Jan 9, 2014, 07:39 PM Local time: Jan 10, 2014, 12:39 AM #9 of 15
I'm an HR Manager these days so I see a lot of CVs...

First thing I would say is that I'm surprised you've no single personal statement at the top. It depends what role it is you're going for obviously but you have to remember your resume needs to stand out from all the others received from the job. Even if it's an academic job where you might think qualifications were the most important thing, you would assume that anyone applying for an academic job will have relevant qualifications, what separates you is your personality. If you imagine someone opening a bunch of resumes in a short period, if they all start with a factual list, that person is going to glaze over really quick. People need to know about you as a person and there's nothing currently on here that tells me about you.

Two pages is fine. If I get a one page CV I assume that person has done fuck all and is boring. The opener should be a personal statement about the kind of work you're looking for and why you'd be amazing at it. Write a couple of paragraphs outlining why you're after the job and don't tell people you're proficient in things, never say that. Tell them you're amazing at it. I'm proficient at MS Office, my resume says I'm an exceptional Excel user and highly skilled at the whole MSOffice suite. Big yourself up more, lists are boring and make you come across as boring.

Years back I had a CV like this and gave it to a friend of a friend who wrote them professionally and he chucked out all the lists of qualifications, added an over the top description of my skills and I've never not got to interview stage of a job I applied for since. I've uploaded the last cv I used four years ago when I got my current job, it's a shade different to yours...

Jam it back in, in the dark.
Congle line of abuse. Or is that conga-line. Or congaline.
3.1 inches of glory


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Old Jan 9, 2014, 08:19 PM Local time: Jan 9, 2014, 06:19 PM #10 of 15
Resume: http://www.filedropper.com/resumeedited

Additional Spam:
Q&A: http://www.filedropper.com/emuqustions_2

I used most of your edits, capo, but added a few things. Really helpful.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Last edited by Congle line of abuse. Or is that conga-line. Or congaline.; Jan 9, 2014 at 08:20 PM. Reason: This member got a little too post happy.
Radez
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Old Jan 9, 2014, 08:47 PM #11 of 15
Man, Shin, I don't know that I would invest the time to read through that wall of text to figure out if you're useful to me. What I've looked for in resumes that I've reviewed has been evidence that they can do the job and then evidence of qualities that will add value beyond that. Bullet points are perfect for that. The wordier something gets, the less I pay attention, probably in part because the likelihood of bullshit is inversely proportional to wordcount.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
Congle line of abuse. Or is that conga-line. Or congaline.
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Old Jan 9, 2014, 09:02 PM Local time: Jan 9, 2014, 07:02 PM #12 of 15
I figure, Shin, that your CV, is more of a hybrid resume-cover letter document. I've never seen anything like it.

Unfortunately, it doesn't meet the needs of what I'm putting together. I've mentioned this to Radez, but the application is specific about writing it out in categories and lists. It is paired with a personal statement as well, which works like a cover letter for the most part. I was also told that I would be dinged points if I deviate from what is clearly stated on the application directions and where many people slip by attempting to deviate or, in most cases, leave out sections asked for.

Anyway, I still appreciate it and the language used in describing my skills will certainly be amended a few more times~

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?
YO PITTSBURGH MIKE HERE
 
no


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Old Jan 9, 2014, 10:39 PM Local time: Jan 9, 2014, 07:39 PM #13 of 15
Necessary twice in paragraph one. Didactic program. In contrast.

Glad it helped.

I was speaking idiomatically.
Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss
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Old Jan 11, 2014, 08:12 AM Local time: Jan 11, 2014, 01:12 PM #14 of 15
Fair enough, the most important thing really is that you tailor your cv to the position you're applying for. And you massively big yourself up, that's really important too.

Most amazing jew boots
Congle line of abuse. Or is that conga-line. Or congaline.
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Old Jan 11, 2014, 11:32 AM Local time: Jan 11, 2014, 09:32 AM #15 of 15
And, finally, my statement: http://www.filedropper.com/statement

It's supposed to be double spaced but also "correct business format" so just ignore the spacing issues.

THANKS!

FELIPE NO
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