Close Your Eyes, Open Your Mouth, and Put Your Lips Over the Hole in the Wall. [NSFW]

Should some clever and mean-spirited villain ever seek your undoing by attaching your favorite food to a fishing line and using it as bait to lure you onto a busy freeway, what is it you'd fall for?

It doesn't necessarily have to be something that has sent your mouth into the equivalent of an orgasmic frenzy, but it helps! When I say "orgasmic frenzy", I mean it left you making unattractive faces and ugly sex noises at the dinner table when you took your first bite. "OOOoooH MAN! This macaroni and cheese is SOOO fucking GOOOOD." Then your grandma offers you more with a creepy smile on her face. D:


If you have never experienced this, why not? Is there something wrong with you? Do you even enjoy eating food, Fly-Version Jeff Goldblum? Or do you just sorta vomit on it first, then suck it up through a swirly straw with an unpleasant look on your face? Okay, well, has that ever made you orgasm? Then that is your answer! =D


For me its... SPOILER ALERT

Spoiler:

PEANUT BUTTER, HONEY AND BANANAS
DANGLING ON A STRING

Actually, my mouth didn't orgasm like I wanted it to, but it was damn good. Like, I want one right now so bad I could take off my pants!

WELL WHAT ABOUT YOU? :]







__________________
Crash and Rydia: No [pies] or [brownies] are exposed,
but if you still feel this isn't work-safe,
let me know and the pictures will be properly censored.
With pies and brownies.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

^^ A pig on a spit can't be attached to a string, so an evil villain wouldn't be able to taunt you with it. >=|

(Donut is my number 1 but it's already been "used", so...) As for mine, well, the phallic imagery is rather appropriate disturbing.



and yes I know I chopped her finger off but I suck at image cropping and stuff~

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

You just aren't evil enough, Muzza. There are plenty of ways to kill Zerg with vehicles that are traveling really really fast.

For instance, if I was the mastermind consumed with his destruction via his favorite food as bait, I'd strap that pig to an RC car with twisty ties and VROOOOOOOM! up the on-ramp of a major interstate! Bye, Zerg! Bye!

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

B-But I thought it had to be something that could be attached to a string or fishing line...aw shucks.



I was speaking idiomatically.

That was more of an example than a rule. Use his weakness against him the best way you know how!


You're going to be so hungry and dead, Zerg.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Meanie

FELIPE NO

Best. Drink. Ever.

It's a good thing I don't live anywhere near a Tim Horton's because these would definitely be my downfall.

Most amazing jew boots

Is it good enough to consume through a hole in the wall? Because that's pretty good!


I measure the deliciousness of everything I eat by asking myself that very question.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Of course it is! Not to mention it would be pretty damn easy to get through the hole.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Midna

It's a good thing I don't live anywhere near a Tim Horton's because these would definitely be my downfall.

I live one block away from a Tim Horton's, Midna. And there's another directly across the street from my workplace. Further up the road, two miles or so, is yet another Tim Horton's, this one with the distinction of being open 24/7. Now I don't go nuts over iced cappucino the way you claim to, but I'll agree that their butter-caramel variety is pretty freakin' good on a warm day. (Of course, they also sell donuts, the go-to indulgence for this thread. The "dutchie" variety of their donut holes, or "Timbits", are crazy awesome.)

As far as I know, you live out on the west coast. Having visited there myself, I know that there's an appalling lack of Tim Horton's stores. Where did you happen to visit one?

My personal weakness? My voracious sweet tooth demands satisfaction in the following form:

Spoiler:

Yes, key lime pie is concentrated mouth sex to me. It is creamy, tangy, sweet and just a little gritty on the underside for delightful contrast. It's everything a dessert could - and should - aspire to be.

Don't worry about the prurient content in the opening post, Puck. I've labeled the thread as NSFW, so if someone gets fired for reading donut porn at work, the blood is on their own hands.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Crash Landon

As far as I know, you live out on the west coast. Having visited there myself, I know that there's an appalling lack of Tim Horton's stores. Where did you happen to visit one?

I've spent time in Alberta, as well as BC, and those are the only times I get to have one. Usually what I end up doing is having one every day I'm there, which always results in the same thing - 3 pound weight gain and major sugar overload. But it's worth it, and happens so rarely that I don't really care.

And, yes, Timbits are excellent too. I admit I'll indulge in those as well, but only minimally because donuts + iced capp = headache and nausea.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Anything but demon carrots.

Spoiler:

Ohhh!

Can it be in a space suit leading me into oncoming traffic?

Spoiler:

Because I effing love pancakes.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I'd gladly walk into oncoming traffic for maple sugar candy. I've loved this stuff ever since I was little, and now I actually live near a store that sells it rather than seeing it once every 2-3 years. It loses its amazing flavor if you eat it too frequently though, so I tend to buy a pack of 12 small ones and ration it out over the course of a couple months.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I would punch out someone's blood for a good ham sandvich right now, though it might be easier to simply walk to the kitchen and make one.

FELIPE NO