Help me please.......

Guys I have a love issue. See I love this girl online. She’s my 1st best friend and we been buds for a long time. One day she said she loves me. I sort of took it for granted and thought about what she meant and said. I convince myself that she actually loves me and I feel so lucky. I later confess my love to her…..Turns out she just love me as a best friend. Not as a lover. U can imagine how it broke my heart. I want to see her this summer but is getting harder. See her friends set her up with a guy and now they’re a couple. That really broke my heart. She knew I love yet she go on a date with this guy and ended up liking him. I knew it sooner or later this was gonna happen. Yet I let things roll. I feel so broken. I was so stupid and naïve to fall in love. I feel like I can never fall in love again. I feel like I’m falling apart. I hate school because the advanced classes I am in are overwhelming and I have no friends at school. Like I’m neglected just like Naruto or Seth Cohen. I know every individual feels alone on the inside but I feel so isolated from this world. A world where people r destroying each other and trying to rid of each other. No one cares about each other in this world. I feel like I am so alone. I just want to die sometimes. One of the things that keep me going is talking to her. She makes me happy by talking to her. But right now is hard to talk to her when I am in love with her and she likes and dating someone else.

I been crying and screaming for the last few days cause I feel that all my problems finally come up to me and it finally will get to me. This feeling is so painful. She is and my 1st true love. I know some of you folks been there but now I know how ppl felt in tv shows being broken. I am bent and I am broken. What’s worst is that recently signs ( I’m very superstitious I am with signs and how many of them come true) was revealing and showing this outcome. To prevent me feeling hurt. Yet I let it touch my heart. I let it cut it and open a wound that would never heal. I know this is suppose to be a good experience for me cause now I know these feelings. Like the 1st time u got a cut, it hurts so much at the beginning. It will heal as long as possible but when it does, it will forever scar my life. I want to warn you girls and boys. I want to teach you something. When u like someone and u love him or her. Be careful. Make sure they are the right one. Usually the 1st one u likes aren’t the ones. Make sure both side are committing to this or else u will face this pain. U make sure when u meet each other in day one, u will go on the same yellow brick road together. Weither conflicts u face on the harsh journey, fight it and live together, be happy.

Still my life sucks seriously. Ok is not as bad as other who are unfortunate to not have homes and shelter and parents who love them. I don’t have any financial problems. Sigh still I do have a problem with this. I hate school cause people r stubby there and mistreat u there. Me I hate it cause no one gives a damn about you. Indifference. Do u know what’s it like to go through school everyday to be ignored? To not be invited to parties? To not feel cared. To be like dirt to them? I have to do this 5x a week for last 2 years. For those who watch one tree hill, a few weeks a ago they show the inside of a guy who feels neglected. He couldn’t take any more bullying so he brought a gun to school to kill him. As any drama, it ended up screw up. He shoot and miss and hit one of the main character. the whole school went to lockdown. Most of the kids escape but blab the main characters, which they are stuck with the shooter. I can understand his pain so well I just cry. Also school is not a problem. Is me with no will. See school used to be fun for me but I got so distracted last year. See 10th grade was becoming a lot harder than I imagine. I work so hard just to keep up my As. The price I paid is that I lose my will. The will to do anything but work. I have been working for my whole life cause I have learning disability. I work 5x harder than anyone here and I get lesser grade than average student. Do u know how it feels to work so hard to get a grade while some guy who didn’t study at all and gets an A. I feel ridicules.

My parents are very loving ppl, yes but they ignore my problems. They been teenagers before and knows how I feel. They just said “time will heal things”. Well I been waiting for 1 and half year of time to heal and what do I get? MORE PAIN. I’m lucky to have friends at a art school I go to and feel like I belong there cause I belong no where. Sometimes I wonder if I am a good friend. Everybody loves me there so why do I ask? Well a couple of months ago my friend committed suicide and I was the last person she talk to. Do u know how helpless u feel when your friend tells u she gonna commit suicide? That you have to be the last person to talk to and can’t do anything. I listen helplessly as she said the words. I feel as though I wasn’t a good friend. No matter what is my fault that she died cause I wasn’t good enough…..I wasn’t strong enough.

This world I absolutely hate it. But still I gave myself a purpose. I given myself I was born here to save the world. To help the ppl. Just to let this out of the way I don’t believe in god. Christians ppl may bring ppl to hope and Christianity and such but they let the world died. I mean isn’t that against what God’s asking for? Is the world TOO evil to be saved? I think it’s deserve a chance of hope that it could save. I want to say the world but is getting diffuclty of the trails and problems I face. Common ppl may thinks, “hey your only 17, deal with it” Is not just a teenage problems. I happen to be very intelligent in philosophy, psychology, human relations and art. I want to use what I have learn and read from books and put them to good uses. I want to volunteer and help kids who are need in Africa. But I feel I am too limited to help everybody. I am just one man….one kid. I am just gonna watch helplessly as the world destroy itself. I don’t want response from you saying “oh just fend for yourself and let evil ppl destroy themselves” I don’t like those response.

Maybe all these punishments are trials to prove if I am worthy to save the world…..or god/fate is teasing me of my miseries and want to see my failed cause I am a heretic to their superiors spirit. Maybe God is just punishing me and perverting me to fall in love with the girl I love, so he makes her date someone. Back to my love life. I still don’t want to give up on her but is so difficult when she likes and dating someone. U guys must have felt it when u watch a girl u like or love dating someone else. Is so hurtful. She say that she wants only him and wants to be with him. That hurts deeply. Also what’s worse is that so many guys likes her. I’m like in some kind of race or something to win her heart. What’s pathetic is that she lives 500 miles away from me and I CAN”T DO A DAMN ABOUT IT. She thinks she can’t handle a long distance relationship with me….i hate that. That is the reason the 1st person she love did the same too. Her b/f couldn’t handle the long distance relationship and met someone else. It just happen to be repeated to me MEEE. She couldn’t handle it and her friends just have to set her up with someone else. What hurts me even more is that I found out it through her friend. Damn it It was so hurtful.

I keep saying why and why. I know the pain is like the 1st time u walk or say abc. U don’t know what to do or how to adapt to it at the 1st time. Again is hard to talk to my parents of my problems. I talk to my mom but she keep saying my problems r nothing compares to others. She just completely ignores it and I feel hurt cause a problems a problems and I need someone to talk to and help me fix it. My dad is just u know a man, can’t talk to him. Now even worse cause I can’t tell my best friend my problems cause I think I am just so much a burden to her. We used to have so much fun but now all I do I whine and made her suffer. I am forever damned and shame for that. I just want to be with her and hopes everything works out. I want it to work when I visit her this summer. I want her to love me. But am I being too selfish? See even though she doesn’t love me, we still care for each other deeply. She know she hurts me and she just want me to be happy. She prays for me everyday. I think her b/f is just another obstacle for me to win her heart. But am I being too arrogant to listen and believer her? I still want to fight for her but I feel like is getting impossible everyday and all I do is making her suffer. I feel like I am trapped and cornered, no one to talk to. I feel even more isolated than before. I feel so hopeless. I feel like I am losing my will to do anything. I just want to change but is so hard…….I just want to sleep, where I am at peace. No more thinking, no more suffering just sleep. Where my self-conscience abandons me……why am I doing this to myself. I feel as though I am pleading for help. Maybe I am….maybe I am. I just feel I’m hopeless……….i ask u ppl is there hope for me and her to become a couple……is there a possibility………..my pains are killing me I need sleep…….nite

Jam it back in, in the dark.

You didn't have to repost this...a mod can move the other one.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

...

I'm going to go ahead and throw out the fact that I think online relationships rarely work and I don't like the idea of them.


As for your problem. You're in the tenth grade, correct? And she lives about 500 miles away from you, right?

Well, I would like to be more sensitive toward your issue, but I must say that cliche "there's plenty more fish in the sea". I understand that she is your "first love" and by far that's the one that hurts the most, but you'll have to get over it sooner or later and simply move on.

It's the simple fact that she's about 500 miles from you - that large distance alone places any relationship at an awkward position. Look, relationships will come and go, and it is best not to dwell on them too long. Being depressed over one girl is perhaps the worse decision you can make, so you really need to calmly sit there and truely think about what you're doing. Your parents can't help you because they've never physically seen the girl (have they?) nor have they been in a situation in which they've had a relationship online. They can be supportive and try to help you, but you really have to figure it out for yourself.

Everyone feels like shit over someone, everyone has been turned down and ignored. It's the simple fact that you must dwell for just a few minutes and then understand that you have to move on. She loves you as a friend, and you just have to accept that. I think she realizes that you love her (because you told her), however she understands that a relationship over that gap will not work hence the relationship with the guy who is there.


Though, in the terms of optimism, it's just one guy and who knows it may work out for you in the end. Though you should really try to go out and find another girl (perhaps at school?).

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

She'd probably like you more if you learned how to type properly.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Shin

She'd probably like you more if you learned how to type properly.

If you can't actually help b0mb3r with advice regarding his problem than don't reply with your smart ass cynical remarks.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I sense another angsty teenager

Ok just reading the first 2 paragraphs of what you wrote... I have only this to say. "WAKE UP!!!"

Dude, she's a girl on the internet, as I am a girl on the internet and she lives like a million miles away from you just like how I live a million miles away from you. I don't know where you met this girl but ANY girl on the internet is NOT the right girl for you. I don't care how you many times you say "But I love her, she will come to her senses and love me back" If I could slap you, I would but since I can't I'll give you an e-slap.

How does that feel??? It felt like nothing right? Well there you go, this "love" you have for her is nothing more than this e-slap I just gave to you.

Experiencing love on the internet is definitely something everyone should avoid. It is ok to have online friends just like how you can make friends here on GFF, but attempting to date over the internet without physically seeing each other at least once a week is not possible.

Get over her and move on and fall in real love that happens in your physical world, not the online one. And stop watching anime and get out there and do something.

Let me repeat: Do not fall in e-love

Btw, I'm sorry if I was being rude

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I second with Flara there.

I've even seen relationship where it only WORKED online - they were classmates for goodness sake and they don't even remotely LOOK like they're dating what so ever IRL where as most of their talking took place online.

Sure. You may feel like she's the one right now.
Sure. You're competely comfortable talking to her online now.

But hate to be frank, some people are just not the same online and in real person - perhaps it's a face that really changes things or not but whatever it is, I'm telling not to fully trust it the way it's going online is the same as it would be in real life.

I'd hate to tell you to just "give up" on it but just keep that point in mind.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Vivace119

If you can't actually help b0mb3r with advice regarding his problem than don't reply with your smart ass cynical remarks.

He said she was an online friend, implying he'd never actually met her face to face. As such, if your only method of communication is textual, does it not make sense to learn how to type properly?

If his problem was he's a fat fuck and his chick goes for skinny people, I'd tell him to go get some fucking exercise. Try thinking outside the box once in a while rather than jumping on your white pony everytime someone hands out a small dose of commom sense.

How ya doing, buddy?

I agree with Flara. You should never date on the internet without seeing them once or twice a week.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Shin

He said she was an online friend, implying he'd never actually met her face to face. As such, if your only method of communication is textual, does it not make sense to learn how to type properly?

If his problem was he's a fat fuck and his chick goes for skinny people, I'd tell him to go get some fucking exercise. Try thinking outside the box once in a while rather than jumping on your white pony everytime someone hands out a small dose of commom sense.

Here is a small dose of common sense: Did he ever mention that they had never spoken on the phone?

I don't actually think you are helping him by saying he can't type properly, this was covered in his first thread anyway. You seem to be reinforcing the point to make him feel bad when it's obvious he's having enough problems as it is..(see the 1900+ word post).

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Can I just get some clarification on something before I go off on a tangent, please?

Have you ever met this girl in person?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Can I just get some clarification on something before I go off on a tangent, please?

Have you ever met this girl in person?

It seems he has not.

Which makes the whole situation hilarious.

I think he's just having a really hard time with life at this stage, and he's using this girl as some kind of floatation device for his own mind.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while. And admit the truth: that when you really look closely? People are so strange and so complicated that they're actually... beautiful. Possibly even me.

Jesus Christ - I'll admit outright that I can be a whiney bitch sometimes but this is way beyond excess. The first thing bomber needs to do after he drops the stupid 1994 internet handle is GET OVER HIMSELF. "I'm in such pain with my world and the world around me!" is about as cliched as you can get. Except maybe a sports movie that ends with the big game.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Haha, I had this once back when I was about 15 years old. Met a girl online from a different state. We talked a lot, she said she liked me, I said I liked her. Then we stopped talking. I went on with my daily life, met new friends, blah blah blah, life goes on and years pass, I completely forget about her...
Then just recently a SN I dont know messages me and she knows my name. I think to myself, "damn, I shouldn't give out my name on the internet anymore." She identifies herself and I remember.... and I think, "WTF!?!?! It's been like 5 years and you haven't moved on from a little internet flirt?? (STAGE 5: EMO CLINGER)". She tells me she misses me... and that she's going to college in California and that she can't wait to see me... hahah, I live on the east coast of the U.S. I just hope she meets friends and forgets me.. and will finally delete my SN off her buddy list...

So what have we learned? The internet is evil!! Go out and met a girl instead of IM her.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Vivace119

Here is a small dose of common sense: Did he ever mention that they had never spoken on the phone?

I don't actually think you are helping him by saying he can't type properly, this was covered in his first thread anyway. You seem to be reinforcing the point to make him feel bad when it's obvious he's having enough problems as it is..(see the 1900+ word post).

Common sense? Phone? What, what.

See, when the guy has English as first language, says he is ''very intelligent'' and gets A grades at school, it's not unreasonable to wonder what the fuck in this situation, I would say. Learning to properly communicate in written form is quite important nowadays, probably moreso than his emo problems, whether he realizes it or not.

To the guy: keep up the good job, maybe one day a tragic anime protagonist can be modeled after you.

FELIPE NO

Though, online dating works for some people, it seems your case wasn't experimented with to the fullest extent, Bomber. You've only text messaged with her, right? You need a whole lot more than that for an online relationship. Like phone calls, write letters, webcams, etc.

Simply just communicating alone by text messaging programs isn't enough. It doesn't tell the other person enough about you. You can tell them all you want how you broke your school's track record or won the national chess championships, but that proves nothing as they have nothing substantial enough to go by. At least with a phone call, the other will be able to reassure themselves that they are talking to someone of the correct gender. Perhaps it can tell them more of what they like about you. Maybe the way you sound, how you try to avoid using words such as, "uhh, well, hmm," frequently.

Webcam is great to use too, what better way to know that you can like a person better if you get to see how he/she looks? It'll give them an idea to judge whether you really are in your 20s or whether you're a 75 year old government representative trying to lull a 14 yr old girl into a freaky sex relationship. (laugh).

Writing a letter can be useful as well. It can show the person how artistic you are. Penmanship is almost everything to a relationship. You might have a cute capital R or write in cursive form very fluently. Your writing technique tells alot about your intellect. Proper spelling and grammar are just bonuses to "wow" a person.


















Anyway, as for your current crisis with your "first love," I feel you are just hurting yourself. You need to realize that at a young age, nothing is clearly defined yet but what your interests are. You can't say now that you'll be a successful astronaut 45 years from now. You don't know that. So, how can you be certain this thing you have for this girl is really love? Get over it and find a new person to drool on.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Man, I had to check the thread date to make sure it wasn't posted on April 1st. I know this makes me a horrible person, but I'm having a very hard time believing this is actually for real. It just seems too...perfect. There are so many hilariously awesome quotes in there, I can't pick just one (although the Naruto one seems especially ROFL-worthy). And considering the sheer length...I'm tempted believe there was a lot of Ctrl+C/Ctrl+V involved.

If it's really not a joke, though...well, you've taken a step in the right direction. Expressing your feelings is a big part of the healing process. It's important to find someone you can talk to and sort things out with, because as much as you keep saying it, you are NOT alone in this. People have been getting their hearts broken by first loves since history began. You're bound to know someone who's gone through the exact same thing...talk to them, and ask them to help you through it. It might be hard, it might make you feel vulnerable, but it's better than perpetuating this torture you're describing.

Jam it back in, in the dark.