Douchebag Roommates

My roommate last year was stereotypical Midwestern guy. He wasn't that bad of a roommate, but he had a tendency to be selfish and thoughtless. For instance, it was all right for him to be loud when I was in bed, but when I opened a sock drawer in the morning he would get very angry. He was a drunkard (literally), too.

Other than those problems, he wasn't that bad.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I had a douchebag as a roommate a few years ago. He used to go out to party in the gayest clubs in town, though he was straight, then come "home" and throw up in the sink. Not ever in the toilet next to it, noooo. A nice surprise every Thursday morning is what I got from him. Try brushing your teeth in that smell.

That kind of irritated me.

He was Italian, so that explains everything.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

QUICK POLL:
What is the least of these evils?
- The Leech
- The Whore
- The Drunk

Imagine that these are not one and the same.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Even though i'm too young to have douchebag roomates, i'll still evaluate in this poll.

The Leech is the worst. There's nothing like having someone who believes in the philosophy that "What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine." So they'd think it's perfectly alright to being using all of your stuff and when you try doing that kind of crap the other way around, they'd suddenly get PMS when it happens.

At least the Whore and the Drunk won't get into your business all that much.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I had a real douchebag roomate once. Every couple of weeks my cups, plates, and glasses would dissapear from the kitchen. I would wait till he leaves and then I would go into his room. At first it seemed like nothing was there but I looked under his bed and sure enough, all of my glasses filled with curdled milk, and plates covered in old moldy food were there sitting next to his manly gielfriends pleather lengerie and hand cuffs. (I guess that would explain the constant "wooooohooooo" I heard at night).

He also borrowed my Playstation once to play Madden and left the game on for 2 days while it was sitting under a two foot pile of his dirty laundrey. Needless to say, the PS overheated and wouldn't work thereafter, so I made him get me a new one.

Also, when he moved out, he didn't clean anything, my parents and I had to scrub his dirty shower and clean the piss off his toilet in order to get a deposit back. However, we kept his portion of the money because we had to clean his crap. A true class A douche.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I've only had good roommates really, but my roommate's *girlfriend* my sophomore year brought in trouble. I lived in a triple with two other guys. Big trouble, like, even though she only ever slept with my one roommate, her boyfriend, she played with the emotions of my other roommate and played with the sex drive of me (the girl practically emanated pheremones), and basically manipulated us all against each other, and by the end there was crippling dysfunction between all 3 of us towards each other. Excellent.

FELIPE NO

I can't say I've had anything as bad as the stuff people have listed on here, but I have had roommates that just simply bugged me. (I think I mentioned this guy once in another thread.) Near the end of the semester, I was checking the thermostat on an almost daily basis to make sure a certain someone hadn't set it to 55 degrees. 55 degrees. During winter semester.

The guy also could cook. Which wasn't a bad thing, except when he'd leave it in the pan overnight or something. I'll come into the kitchen in the morning and his pan of dried, crusty stroganoff is still sitting in the pan on the stove.

And, no offense to anyone here, but I don't like tuna at all. This guy did, and whether he knew it or not, he made it clear to the rest of us. He wouldn't rinse out a can of whatever he'd open, so I had the "privilege" of coming to the kitchen, with the smell of old tuna hitting my nose like a brick wall.

And I found it rather disturbing that this guy would frequently blast some awful rap, or even Britney Spears or Shakira or Destiny's Child.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Chaotic

At least the Whore and the Drunk won't get into your business all that much.

When the whore starts doin' it on your bed or the drunk vomits in your shared bathroom, as previously mentioned, you may rethink that.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

... Good point.

Still, I think the leech is worse. Even if the whore has sex in your bed, or the drunk pukes in the shared bathroom, there's nothing a little cleaning can't do.

When the leech takes stuff from you and then breaks it or something of that matter, it's basically gone and it's their fault. They should know how to respect your property anyway.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

We've all had to deal with crappy roommates... fortunately I can't say I've had as bad as experiences as some people here, but my roommate last year was extremely picky. To the point where even before we moved in she called my cell phone and left a message about which side of the room she wanted and how she wanted the beds/desks arranged. Seriously, how the hell would you know what side of the room you want and how your bed is going to be arranged? Anyway, a few arguments ensued when she moved in because I didn't comply to her "requests". It's not her room, it's ours. =\

How ya doing, buddy?

Dee, you go to Texas, right? I hope you didn't get stuck with the "dormitory" known as Jester :-P Much like the name, that place is a joke ;( That'd add on to the pain of having a roomie.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

After listening to all the nightmares caused by douchebag roommates, I vow, that in the unlikely event I encounter such a person and somehow have to live together that I will commit arson before I leave (you can bloody well bet that I will be the first to leave).

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Chaotic

... Good point.

Still, I think the leech is worse. Even if the whore has sex in your bed, or the drunk pukes in the shared bathroom, there's nothing a little cleaning can't do.

Clean as you might, your bed will stil be tainted forever. FOREEEEEEEEVER. Especially if something spills over.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Anyone who goes so far as to have sex drunk in your bed is a shitfaced skeezer who deserves a size 13 steel toed boot lodged firmly in between the cheeks of thier ass. Plain and simple.

Thankfully I have not had a roommate like that but I have heard horror stories. A good friend of mine had this one roommate who took showers infrequently and always smelled funny. So whenever you went into thier room it always smelled like gym socks and must... >_<

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Gechmir

Dee, you go to Texas, right? I hope you didn't get stuck with the "dormitory" known as Jester :-P Much like the name, that place is a joke ;( That'd add on to the pain of having a roomie.

Actually I don't. I'm no Aggie either. I have many friends who go to Texas, and Jester is a hit or miss. I'm pretty sure most sane people will steer far away from that dorm.

Most amazing jew boots

I've lived in residence for all of my university life, and my share of roommates have been incredibly good, except for one. My first gf had one hell of a roommate, so I'd be happy to share both stories.

1.) My second year (both semesters): You know your not going to have a good roommate, when he comes to you during the first day you move in and tries to persuade you to leave, by doing a student swap because he wanted one of his other friends to be his roommate instead of me that was living in the same residence. He use to make fun of all of my hobbies, especially in the residence lounger if i was watching anime or anything along those lines.

A lot of his friends had a big problem with me being up all hours of the night because I use to be big nighthawk during university and I use to go to different floors all hours of the night to see if any of friends were up late studying or stuff like that. They would always make fun of me and say stuff about me in which they knew I could hear them. He never use to clean up the bathroom or anything along those lines.

I remember one time, during our residence bash he forced me to move all of my stuff out of the refrigerator, so that he could have a big room party, so I had to take all my food and move it to a friends refrigerator so that he could end up stuffing 196 bottles of beer and a few 40 ouncers in the fridge for all of his friends. He was a tough roommate to deal with, but I endured through it.

2.) My first gf's first year (First Semester): She had a roommate that was from kentucky and she came to this university with her online bf from ontario, because they wanted to go to a university that was fairly cheap. They seemed nice at first but after the first month things went downhill and made things incredibly stressful and distracting for my gf at that time. Her roommate ended up cheating on her online bf before they came to university, and she ended up getting pregnant. She went to get an abortion, and after that she started sleeping around with a lot of guys in our residence especially on our floor. She ended up having a threesome with two guys on the floor me and my gf were living on at the time. Basically my gf at the time mostly had to endure quite a lot of shouting matches between her roommate and her bf and I was there during a few of those times and they got very heated and very violent.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Dee

Actually I don't. I'm no Aggie either. I have many friends who go to Texas, and Jester is a hit or miss. I'm pretty sure most sane people will steer far away from that dorm.

I thought I PM'd you some time ago and you mentioned you were going to Texas =o Hm

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Angel Of Light

1.) My second year (both semesters): You know your not going to have a good roommate, when he comes to you during the first day you move in and tries to persuade you to leave, by doing a student swap because he wanted one of his other friends to be his roommate instead of me that was living in the same residence. He use to make fun of all of my hobbies, especially in the residence lounger if i was watching anime or anything along those lines.

I remember one time, during our residence bash he forced me to move all of my stuff out of the refrigerator, so that he could have a big room party, so I had to take all my food and move it to a friends refrigerator so that he could end up stuffing 196 bottles of beer and a few 40 ouncers in the fridge for all of his friends. He was a tough roommate to deal with, but I endured through it.

You just described what happened between me and my Yankee roommate. We were both sophomores and a couple of weeks before college started she e-mailed me asking if her and this other girl could room together and have me and the girl she was suppose to room with live in the top floor (no elevator) of the worst upper-class dorm on campus. I decided that if she wanted to change she could, but I told her that I would take the unknown room and that she could have the other room. Luckily (or unluckily) she decided not to trade so I was able to live in one of the best dorms on campus, but with a bad roommate.

And I endured it for the year as well.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Damn guys, the worst that's happened with any of my roommates is that I caught one pleasuring himself to tennis magazines (the guy really loves his tennis).

How ya doing, buddy?

I've had pretty good luck with roommates, but I still had one that was piss poor.

Imagine this scenario: he'd moved into my dorm to be close to his girlfriend, who lived one floor up. She was one of the most attractive people I've ever seen, so naturally my roomate had no choice but to seduce our RA.

Then, growing bored with our RA, my roommate seduced another girl on our floor, and their in-bed antics woke me up in the middle of the night. Mind you, he had never broken up with his girlfriend, and never broken up with the RA that he was cheating on her with.

So he was simultaneously with three girls in an extremely enclosed space, waking me up in the middle of the night, and generally disgusting me with his callousness. And, when all three girls found out about his two-timing ways, he (thankfully) decided to move out mid-semester. We'd split the appliances when we moved in, but he promised I could keep the TV until the end of the semester since he would be moving in with someone that had one. That is, until a week after he moved out, when he barged in and took the set *as I was watching it*.

Since, during the height of his lechry, my roomate wasn't sleeping in the room much, he essentially allowed another student to squat in our room, giving him a key and letting him sleep on his bed or on the floor. I just came home one day and found someone else's stuff all over the place.

Things worked out all right in the end, though. My roomate never returned to get his microwave, so I got a free appliance out of the whole thing. I also had to paint over the enormous poorly-drawn anime figure he sketched on the wall with a Sharpie, though.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Welcome to my world... I currently live with 4 roommates..

Roommate 1- I am 3vil.

This guy is the biggest dumbass in the world.. Everyday I have to listen to him make claims about how much he mistreat customers at work. "oh today, i told a customer to fuck off right in front of my manager because the guy didn't buy a t.v. right away!"

yea, sure.. I have hear about how he told off his manager and shit, eventhough he still has his job... Things that I know for sure are not true.. He claims to be neat as well but I don't think he has ever heard of using a dishwasher.

2nd roommate- the thief- He guy has money but for reason he need to steal shit from stores... And he's reply is "Don't worry about it, i won't get caught".. I honestly think it would be funny to one day call the supermarket ahead of time and alert them that he is coming, so he can get caught.

Then he claims that he raised his sisters...If he raise them the same way that he lives.. I sure hope that they didn't actually learn anything from him. He is messy.. I don't think he has ever heard of a laundry hamper, a dishwasher, picking up his shit and putting it in a drawer or anything that comes close to being clean... I found his q-tips on the floor....

3rd- The bitch... My ex g/f. She's the only one that helps clean but unforunately... she helps to make the mess. *sigh*.... Then when I get on people's cases but the stealing or the messes, she get pissed at me and tells me to let it go...

4th- Elcee.. the only one that i liked but the rest of the roommates dont... *sigh*

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?