I'll have a dish of pretty, please.

I will now speak of girls, collectively. Forgive me any gross generalizations.

So they primp for 2 hours a day. I don't, personally, but then again, I'm not all that gorgeous (which is sort of the point). Anyway, 2 hours. Blow-drying and styling hair, carefully applying make-up and all sorts of virtually useless skin care products, like lotion (that stuff is slimy... yuck!). Let's not even start with picking out an outfit, which may or may not be done the night before. Change into it, twirl in the mirror, pick a different top perhaps--maybe discard that choice altogether.

So, of course, there is frequent complaining: "Why do girls take so long to get ready?"
"Why are they always hogging the bathroom?"
"Do they have to spend an hour on their hair?"

And yet these girls--these same girls that spend all that time--are the ones that are ogled at while they're walking down the sidewalk. They don't wake up looking that pretty, you know. I remember seeing this girl who was a couple of years older than me in middle school after she'd just woken up and realizing, "Whoa, she's not that much prettier than me. That's why it takes her so long to get ready..."

If only one could avoid snap judgments on outward appearances. I'm both the victim and the criminal. It's a pity life works that way, but I guess there's nothing that can be done. But I really admire guys who can step back and say, "Now, wait a second. She's not exactly drop dead gorgeous, but I bet you there's something more to her, and I'm gonna take the time to find out what it is."

And I love those girls who are pretty and you're not sure why, because they don't really fit any definition of the word.

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I guess I'm just lucky that I can roll out of bed looking this good.

I don't like fake looking girls. A face that looks almost airbrushed on is not visually pleasing. I kind of like little imperfections, they can be endearing.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Quote:

And yet these girls--these same girls that spend all that time--are the ones that are ogled at while they're walking down the sidewalk.

Lets just assume we are both thinking of the same types of girls--I don't really find them particularly attractive. I've always been one of those guys that doesn't really 'window shop' the way others do. Yeah, okay, I see them, but my toungle doesn't drop out of my mouth and my eyes don't.fixate and track them across my vision. When I look, I look discretely. Somewhat ironic seeing as I'm the type of personality that prefers to stand back and watch people.

So what do I find attractive? Beauty really is skin deep. At least, that kind of beauty. I'm really more interested in getting to know you than what your dimensions are. There's a level of interaction that transcends just the pure physical that gives me so much more pleasure.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I use to be ONE of those girls a few years ago, but it was peer pressure more than anything of trying to get that ideal look--whatever the hell that was. Now days I look back and think of the hours I wasted when I could have been doing something way more useful then fixing my hair all nice and perfect.
I see these girls today and think my god you are wasting your life away on something that isn't really all that important.
And really, who is going to remember ten years from now that "Hannah so and so" look so perfect that day on so and so.

:\

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Quote:

I use to be ONE of those girls a few years ago, but it was peer pressure more than anything of trying to get that ideal look--whatever the hell that was. Now days I look back and think of the hours I wasted when I could have been doing something way more useful then fixing my hair all nice and perfect

But did you really know any better? Appreciating what is beneath the surface comes from wisdom of experience. Its rare that any should mature that fast.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I think it's ok if women feel the need to style their hair or apply a little bit of make up so long as they don't rely on it to define who they are.
Then again, I've had people tell me that my tastes in women are... um. questionable?

Whatever.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Heh, I like girls with glasses, and am not much for falsities.
I'm a sucker for girls that are kind to me, and looking beautiful is only a bonus.
You could gussy yourself up all you like, but if I'm not drawn in by your personality, then you've applied your makeup in vain.

Most of my friends are girls, and I'm pretty sure that they don't spend exorbitant amounts of time on makeup. I guess it fits in with the personality. Not to overgeneralize, but out of all my girlfriends, none of them are particularly bitchy or fake (which I associate with excessive makeup).

There's nothing wrong with wanting to look good for special events and such, but if you obsess over it everyday out of vanity, then I'm not so sure. Although, some girls probably just do it out of routine or to make themselves feel good, which is fine too.

FELIPE NO

Yeah, I'm one of those girls who just hops out of bed and wears no make-up. People other than single men have told me that I'm hot, but most of my male friends seem to go for girls that dress up (even if it's just once a week). Sadly, many of these girls are the same girls that use their boyfriends as psychologists and use lines such as, "Does this skirt make my butt look big" and "OMG! I totally broke my nail! You think she's prettier than me don't you?!"

People tell me all the time I should dress up more often. The reason I don't is b/c every time I do dress up, no one compliments me or even notices that I dressed up. Then a couple of weeks later they will tell me that if I were to try dressing up for once then everyone would notice.

Frankly, I have friends that are prettier and uglier, thinner and fatter, richer and poorer than me who are in long relationships/marriage. A girl from China was telling me how the men in America seem to think that personalities are more important than looks in comparison to her country. According to her, looks are high on the Chinese male radar and if you are attractive there then that's all you need.

Unless I can find clear-cut facts that men will only date women that wear make-up and dress up, then I'm just going to be me so I won't be guilty of false adveretising. There is nothing wrong with dressing up or wearing make-up, but only if you do it for yourself rather than using it as a crutch in order to get laid.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Visavi

There is nothing wrong with dressing up or wearing make-up, but only if you do it for yourself rather than using it as a crutch in order to get laid.

Hallelujah! :waves hand sporadically in the air:

Jam it back in, in the dark.

katiblue - Guys go through some of the same physical standard as girls. I'm sure many of you have seen pictures of me. I am not the definitely of a male model. I definitely do not possess an athlete's or model's body. Its why so many guys drink protein shakes and work out like crazy. There was a point in time when I would work out all the time for that reason but to be honest, it didnt make me feel better.

It wasnt until I started getting used to my body that I felt good about how I looked.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Kazyl

Hallelujah! :waves hand sporadically in the air:

Yes! Someone who agrees .

Originally Posted by Hydelloon

katiblue - Guys go through some of the same physical standard as girls. I'm sure many of you have seen pictures of me. I am not the definitely of a male model. I definitely do not possess an athlete's or model's body. Its why so many guys drink protein shakes and work out like crazy. There was a point in time when I would work out all the time for that reason but to be honest, it didnt make me feel better.

It wasnt until I started getting used to my body that I felt good about how I looked.

I agree. Granted, it's more acceptable in the media for overweight or scrawny men to be on televisioin than for overweight women to be on television (at least, in sitcoms they are), but the media misinterpreted what many speakers have been saying about the unhealthy portrayal of women. Instead of relaxing their stance on how women are suppose to look, they are now beginning to place more stress on masculine looks.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Visavi - Yeah, at least I look like a bishonen ...=/

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Quote:

katiblue - Guys go through some of the same physical standard as girls. I'm sure many of you have seen pictures of me. I am not the definitely of a male model. I definitely do not possess an athlete's or model's body. Its why so many guys drink protein shakes and work out like crazy. There was a point in time when I would work out all the time for that reason but to be honest, it didnt make me feel better.

It wasnt until I started getting used to my body that I felt good about how I looked.

I think that's a point that everyone has to work towards: personal acceptance. It goes for more than just physical appearance, but personality as well. You have to grow to come to accept the certain things that you cannot (reasonably) change about yourself.

On a side note, I went from looking like a punk little kid in seventh grade, to looking like an ugly troll in my sophomore year. I don't know when I finally found my 'style'--if that's what you want to call it--but now I've had girls tell me I'm a bit metrosexual.

I was speaking idiomatically.

My personal experiences have come to show me that if a girl is willing to take the time to pretty herself up, she is also likely to take the time to take care of herself. That is, she is likely to also go to the gym to keep herself looking good, eats correctly to keep herself looking healthy and practices a high level of personal hygiene. When I'm out looking to meet women, I tend to look for this type of girl for this exact reason. I, like most men are well aware they may not look as pretty the following morning, but that isn't the entire point. They are looking for certain qualities in a woman and it isn't necessarily because they are shallow men that can't look past outer beauty.

There are of course women who take this to an extreme and just cake on the makeup on or attempt to take other shortcuts to looking good. This is usually pretty obvious to a lot of guys and these are usually the type people think of as being overly supercilious. This is also usually the type of women people think of when talking about taking too much time to get ready to go out. But I've meet a large amount of women that do take a lot of time to get ready and care greatly about their public appearances. These women are also intelligent, caring, hardworking and nothing like the stereotype.

Oh and everything I've commented on goes for men as well. A guy that comes to school/work looking like a slob is usually a lazy slob.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Cetra

My personal experiences have come to show me that if a girl is willing to take the time to pretty herself up, she is also likely to take the time to take care of herself. That is, she is likely to also go to the gym to keep herself looking good, eats correctly to keep herself looking healthy and practices a high level of personal hygiene. When I'm out looking to meet women, I tend to look for this type of girl for this exact reason. I, like most men are well aware they may not look as pretty the following morning, but that isn't the entire point. They are looking for certain qualities in a woman and it isn't necessarily because they are shallow men that can't look past outer beauty.

There are of course women who take this to an extreme and just cake on the makeup on or attempt to take other shortcuts to looking good. This is usually pretty obvious to a lot of guys and these are usually the type people think of as being overly supercilious. This is also usually the type of women people think of when talking about taking too much time to get ready to go out. But I've meet a large amount of women that do take a lot of time to get ready and care greatly about their public appearances. These women are also intelligent, caring, hardworking and nothing like the stereotype.

Oh and everything I've commented on goes for men as well. A guy that comes to school/work looking like a slob is usually a lazy slob.

I do agree with what you are saying, but that is not normally the case from my personal experience. I know women who forbid to wear makeup and some of them shower 1-3 times a day, even though the one that showered 3 times a day was told to stop b/c it causes the bad bacteria to grow back faster than the good bacteria. Some of them believe that makeup will clog their pores and cause them to have a lot of breakouts, so they prefer their natural beauty. However, I do know a couple of girls that do dress up quite often but wait 4-5 days before they take a shower (they are college girls, so I guess classes and social outings keep them busy). They use perfumes and ponytails to hide the fact from everyone, especially their boyfriends.

It can be a good way to judge whether or not someone takes care of themselves, but it's not the most accurate way. However, you do bring up a very interesting point, Certa. Very interesting indeed.

FELIPE NO

I think being overtly concerned with your appearence is a phase for most people. whether they grow out of it in time varies from person to person though. it's one thing to take care of yourself, but another entirely to try and fit some unreasonable mold day after day.

when I was in the more awkward teenage years, I was more self-conscious so I tried to battle that by spending more time on my appearance. certainly, I didn't spend as much time as your more stereotypical narcissistic females, since I don't think my self-esteem was ever that damaged. I actually didn't start wearing makeup until about grade ten, but for a couple of years I wore probably more than I needed to. nothing over the top, I kept it mostly natural, but looking back I really didn't need to spend that much time on my face when it didn't make a difference to anyone but me in the long run. I also never took a million years to choose an outfit either. I'd just grab the first thing I felt like wearing and go.

now I pretty much just roll out of bed, brush my hair, and get changed. I wear makeup sometimes, but it's more of a hassle than anything else. I'm not trying to impress anyone, so there's not much point in wasting ten minutes putting it on before I go out when I don't really care if people think I look bad without it. I still try to look presentable, but I don't take two hours in the bathroom to do so. besides showering, I only take maybe twenty minutes tops.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

My girlfriend who I've been with for about a year doesn't take much time to get ready at all, and I think she looks gorgeous... heck, I can't really tell the difference on the rare occassion when she bothers to put on make-up. I mean yeah, I'd say she definitely has more facial marks & imperfections than average, but I really just don't care.

I think the guys who go for the airbrushed look are the shallow ones a not-fake girl would probably want to avoid anyway. So I wouldn't worry too much about it.

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Originally Posted by Drexlerfan22

My girlfriend who I've been with for about a year doesn't take much time to get ready at all, and I think she looks gorgeous... heck, I can't really tell the difference on the rare occassion when she bothers to put on make-up. I mean yeah, I'd say she definitely has more facial marks & imperfections than average, but I really just don't care.

I think the guys who go for the airbrushed look are the shallow ones a not-fake girl would probably want to avoid anyway. So I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Thanks for that... you've no idea how thrilled I am when a male professes to liking girls in a non-shallow way. Also, you make it sound like there are more of them out there; there is hope!

I am rather physically imperfect (aren't we all?), and I forever worry about being judged for not being skinny enough or having a clear enough face. Nice to know that some guys can look past that.

Also, I like your avatar. Chrono Cross makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. And slightly idealistic. I haven't played it in years...

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by katiblue

Thanks for that... you've no idea how thrilled I am when a male professes to liking girls in a non-shallow way. Also, you make it sound like there are more of them out there; there is hope!

I am rather physically imperfect (aren't we all?), and I forever worry about being judged for not being skinny enough or having a clear enough face. Nice to know that some guys can look past that.

Also, I like your avatar. Chrono Cross makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. And slightly idealistic. I haven't played it in years...

Glad I could help. And yeah, there're more of them out there... they just tend to be a little harder to find.

Chrono Cross is easily my favorite game, ever! I'm a bit of a closet romantic, and sometimes I think of the Serge/Kid "fated to meet" thing when I think about my girl. It's so night-and-day between her and every other girl I've ever dated that I just can't help it.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Wow, amazingly enough the best example for this thread I can think of is my mom. I remember when I was about 10, I'd be watching tv or whatever and she'd be putting makeup on. I'd go do something, come back an hour later and she'd be finishing up. Now this was just makeup, not even counting the time she put into fixing her hair up however she did it. I was always amazed with the amount of time she spent on that. It seemed almost ritualistic to an extent.

I myself haven't dated a girl who uses a lot of makeup, so I don't really know what it's like to deal with someone who may often need time to put it on. I don't think I'd have a problem with though, it would certainly be her decision. I don't think I'd date someone who goes overboard on makeup anyway, though. Overboard meaning you can take a spoon and scoop it off.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

My mom spends a ton of time getting ready every day. I remember growing up, I'd hear her complain, "I have an appointment at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning, that means I have to be up before 8!" Confused, I would ask why, as it only took 20 minutes to drive there. She spends an hour or two putting on makeup and doing other things to get ready each morning. It seems like a complete waste of her time to do that each and every day. She also always warned me, "if you ever get a girlfriend, she's gonna do this every day too."

I've never been attracted to girls that throw on the makeup, even though most guys find that pretty. I'd rather have a girl who has enough self-confidence to appreciate how she naturally is. Luckily, I have a girlfriend who spends as much time getting ready each day as I do. She showers, and spends the few mandatory minutes brushing her teeth, combing her hair, etc., and that is it. And even when she supposedly looks her worst first thing in the morning, she still has her same natural beauty that I like, and the same wonderful personality.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Well, there are guys who take just as long to "get ready."

For example, my friend David, if we were to go out together with other friends to a party and we conceive over the phone to start getting ready at the same time... let's just say for the sake of example, we were both phoned at 4PM to be ready for pick up at 5PM. What I would do in that time, is pay bills, eat a snack, take a shower, shave (if necessary), do my hair (brushing and blow-drying included, I usually skip hair products), put on make up, choose a formidable outfit (shoes and purse included), maybe even have time to pluck my eyebrows in shape and brush my teeth. David on the other hand, would start getting ready the same time as I did, but by the time he's done primping, I would have already done all the above I'd mentioned, be picked up by my boyfriend, driven 20 minutes to get to David's, find parking (which is almost impossible around his apartment complex), and maybe even stopped by the bank/atm to get some cash, and he'd STILL not be ready.

I don't think it's just girls, but maybe just depending on the amount of self-esteem you have. Normally I don't put that much mental effort into looking nice unless it's a special occasion. But I do agree with those who care a lot about their appearances do take better care of themselves.

I personally, am not the kind of girl described in the opening post. My everyday work life starts with 5 minutes in the shower (a little more if I need to wash my hair, which is every other day), 5 minutes drying, 10 minutes putting on clothes, and I'm usually out the door within 20 minutes of waking up. Make up is optional, but I don't have that many products, so I typically only go with the foundation/powder, eyeliner and lipgloss routine. And that's IF I know there's going to be a business meeting that day that I would need to make myself presentable to guests.

I think people appreciate girls who take the time to look nice (especially from a business stand point). I look around in the office and I know that the girls whom I can tell take the time to look professional, are just that. I find that there's not that much involved in impressing someone if you don't "keep up" with the primping routine. I'm one of the "get up out of bed and go" type person, so when I actually do take the time to look nice, I get the extra "wow" bonus which is nice.

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