Awkward things strangers have said to you

haha I just remembered another awsome one

I was talking on my cell phone walking my dog when it went dead so I sat down for a bit.

This guy with only one hand and an army hat comes wobbling over to me and has that "I want to pet your dog" look
Guy: Hey there little guy! Hope your mommy doesn't mind me petting you! Awww you like me! I hope you're this nice to your mommy at home! ...say what kind of a dog is this?
Me: Well he's a daschund but I don't think he's a pure bred.
Guy: *takes my dogs face in his hands* I guess not even little doggies can be pure of race.
He then looks up, gives me the weirdest look and walks away.

what the christ people, honestly ;(

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Last summer I was shopping in a Giant Eagle (local supermarket chain) around 11:30 PM or so. So, yeah, the store was pretty much be and a bunch of creepy people. At one point I'm standing at the bread section trying to find the cheapest brand that'll still taste decent when this guy comes up to me and says, "Man, those breads sure are tricky, aren't they? You've really gotta watch out for them!"

I then grabbed the closet loaf infront of me and walked to the other side of the store to continue stopping.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Senorita Preved

I was talking on my cell phone walking my dog when it went dead

The dog or the phone?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Krelian

The dog or the phone?

R I P
SQUALL



2005-2006

Spoiler:

Daschund Creation

On the first day, God created the daschund and He saw that he was good.

On the second day, God created man, and well, God was not impressed.

On the third day, God and the daschund met to decide what to do with the man and they determined he should be the daschunds servant.

On the fourth day, God and the daschund trained the man to get food, get water and to make a fuss over the daschund.

On the fifth day, the daschund said to God, "Hey, Big Guy, this is kind of fun to be waited on hand and foot, but what's next?" So God created woman. That same day, God and the daschund began the woman's training. She was trained to tell the man exactly when to get the water and when exactly to get food so that God and the daschund would not have to be bothered.

On the sixth day, the woman found some apples and told the man to take them to the daschund. The daschund, on seeing the apples said, "Hey! Those are God's apples off His tree, we are not supposed to eat them!" The man said, "OK, I will eat them myself!" And he did and he shared them with the woman. Well, God got pretty ticked and He threw the man and woman out of the area. And God was left alone with the daschund.

On the seventh day, God thought about taking a rest, but the daschund was hungry and thirsty and God had to get up early to take care of the daschund because the man and the woman were gone.

Once God got used to getting up really early to tend to daschunds needs, things settled into a sort of routine. God would get up, dig the daschund out of its warm burrow in the clouds and take the daschund to an area to take care of business. This is where hail comes from.

Later, God would find the daschund food and feed it from His own hand and give the daschund over to the angels with which to play. The daschund would race back and forth over the clouds with the angels in tow, racing here and there and tearing up the sky. This is where tornadoes come from; from daschunds running back and forth over the tops of the clouds.

In the evening, after the daschund was really tired after playing with the angels, God would take it back into His bed, burrowed in the clouds. But the daschund always wanted a night light on. This is where sunsets come from; the daschund night light.

And God has been looking after little daschunds ever since.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I'm the spitting image of my father (when he was young, I suppose...) and have his same mannerisms and voice. So obviously I frequently get complete strangers coming up to me and asking me whether I'm his son. I never know how to answer nonchalantly... I always end up being awkward and mumbling something stupid.

Once however it was really funny... I was walking in the street, and I see a car pull towards me and the driver lowering the window. I politely stop and wait for him to speak. He's going to ask me something, but I actually see him change mental gear and instead of asking me his original question he says "Are you... his son?"

-_-' I don't know how I managed not to say "You stopped to ask THAT?"

Then he said that he had actually stopped to ask for a direction, but when he noticed the similarity he just couldn't resist asking me about my old man.

So... how much does complete facial plastic surgery cost?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I was walking with my friend (a girl) one day, and then we saw this old man walking towards us on the sidewalk. He sort of made a gesture at us, but I just kept going and my friend stopped. He looks directly at my friend and says with an Italian accent: "Can'na you-a help'a me? HEY!! Excus'a me sir!", and note how he was looking at my friend who was a girl (clearly identifiable as one too). My friend caught up with me and then the guy pivoted in place and gave her a weird stare.


Also, there was one time where I was at a bus and a guy didn't quite seem to be in a right state of mind. He stopped a bus and apparently asked if it was heading where he was going, and it wasn't, I guess. The next "wrong" bus passed by and the guy screams at the top of his lungs: "FUUUUUCK THIS!!!"
When the "right" bus came, he hastily got onto the bus before me and then he got off at the very next stop (which any bus passing by would have went by), and start yelling random syllables as he got off the bus.

FELIPE NO

One time I was at at urinal and an elderly Irish gentlemen came and started pissing next to to me. Suddenly he turns round and says loudly 'Isn't it great to be young!

Another weird thing that happens to me quite frequently is that total strangers will greet me in the street. Apparently this happens beacuse somewhere in my town there is someone who looks and acts exactly like me. There have been loads of time when my friends have yelled at me for ignoring them when they see me in town, only to discover I wasn't in town that day. Once one of my friends actually ran the guy over, and when they asked if he was all right all he said was 'Oh, not again!'. The next day my friend asked if I had an older brother.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I was working when a really old customer came to the store...

Man: Excuse me...are you vietnamese?
Me: um...no sir I'm not.
Man: Oh...(awkward silence)...Can you speak Vietnamese?
Me:....Um no
Man: I know Vietnamese...(awkward silence)
Me: Oh...that's nice.
Man: Well good bye.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

Last summer I was shopping in a Giant Eagle (local supermarket chain)

We have one. My mom calls it "Big Bird" since it used to be Big Bear.....

Anyway....

I've had this:

There are four women in town who look like me, and one day at work I had a man come up to me and yell at me for all the things I did to him at the bar the night before. I told him I had been at work, but he didn't belive me. I finally had to show him my time card AND my name tag--since he kept calling me the wrong name.

He just gave me a weird look and went away.

How ya doing, buddy?

A few weeks ago, a guy told me I should quit my job, due to my looks. With a puzzled look on my face, he realized I missunderstood. He explained I looked like a guy on tv and that I should be in that buisiness instead.

There was one event I worked, its was for the 'brown's family' which just so happened to be black. If that wasn't enough, when serving the food, one large lady asked if we had any fried chicken. It was so hard to keep a straight face.

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

Last summer I was shopping in a Giant Eagle (local supermarket chain) around 11:30 PM or so. So, yeah, the store was pretty much be and a bunch of creepy people. At one point I'm standing at the bread section trying to find the cheapest brand that'll still taste decent when this guy comes up to me and says, "Man, those breads sure are tricky, aren't they? You've really gotta watch out for them!"

I then grabbed the closet loaf infront of me and walked to the other side of the store to continue stopping.

I say crap like that to people :3
I always find it greatly humorous... even if the other person doesnt :x

Originally Posted by Senorita Preved

walking my dog when it went dead so I sat down for a bit.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

So we went out for supper on a friend's 18th birthday the other day. When the people found out it was her first step into adulthood, they let us order her two drinks on the house. When they came to sing for her, this one guy (who wasn't our waiter, he was just dragged in to sing for her) found out it was her birthday when he got there, and the first words out of his mouther were "Are you liqoured?" As he snapped his head over to her in a wide eyed, creepy smiled, stare.

We all had a good laugh.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

O fuck~

I went to San Francisco last December for an American Geophysical Union conference. There were a number of hotels that cost a fuck load. But my buddy and I found one about a mile away from the site where everything was going on. We got a room online and came over to stay there. It turns out that the mile or so walk was literally RIGHT ON THE EDGE of the "wrong side of town". I'm talking about a fuckload of homeless folks. Smelling like shit and hiding all around. Lots of embarassing folk.

But finally, after a week of that hellhole, we were headed home. It was 6am or so. My buddy had to handle the checking out. I dawdled around outside. Then he called me in. Now, this hotel wasn't an indoor type thing. Two levels with room entrances being on the outside, on walkways. The front desk was behind some magnetic security-locked door. I came in to help with some questions, then noticed something outside through the glass door I entered from.

Some homeless guy was near our bags, staring at them. I opened the door and stormed out, pointing at him and I said "back off. Get the fuck back."

This was a black fellow in ragged clothing... And his pants down and around his ankles. He was wearing some boxers and kinda staggered back as I walked outside. Now, I'm not a short, beanpole fellow. I'm big and I'm built. I literally scared the piss out of him with this outburst. He stumbled back and into a parked car, holding his hands up.

Bum: "Hey man. Be cool. I just... I just need a comb..."
Me: "And what makes you think that gives you the right to go near our bags, huh? Go away. I saw a police cruiser parked across the street. Don't make me go get it."
Bum: "Look, man... I just need a comb!"
Me: "NOW."

He backs up and takes a few steps away, acting like he is leaving. He stops and admires himself in the reflection of a nearby parked car's window. Preening his hair. Pants still down around his ankles. I stepped inside to my buddy Shane and told him we had best hurry up. As the freaks were showing up >_> The Hindu guy behind the counter leaned to the side and said "oh geez... Not him again."

Shane and I hurried it up and went out to the edge of the street. No cabs around. I told him I'd phone one. Now it was HIS turn to brave the hobo.

I came back a few moments later to find Shane alone.

Me: "What the... That's no fair. He left you alone and bugged me?"
Shane: "No. He approached me. Asked if he had something in his ear."
Me: "... You didn't look did you?"
Shane: "Oh hell no. I told him that the lady in Room ___ had a mirror and some q-tips. He didn't seem to question why I said that or the validity."

I turned around to see the now pantsless man climbing the stairs, headed along the walkway to the room Shane mentioned.

Me: "He lost his pants... Well. That's one obstacle that has been overcome."
Shane: "And here comes the cab. Let's hurry out of here."

The room he pointed him to was a room of a rather. Well... On and off tempers. There was a couple staying there. We came back one day to find one of the windows to the room broken. Heard the woman having her brains banged out one night, and a loud argument the next. I wonder how our friends hit it off... :'D

I was speaking idiomatically.

A few years ago when I was in McDonald's, a guy who obviously had some mental health problems told me off for not respecting my mum, as I was talking to her at the time.

The guy was almost shouting at me when he said it, which made it both awkward and a little intimidating.

Most amazing jew boots

Oh man, I always run into homeless people here, and I think they're all pretty damn crazy with what they say for example.

I was casually walking down the street to get some coffee, when a homeless guy stops me and tell me to hold his guitar.

Quote:

Guy- "Hold my guitar, I need to put on some pants"
*he already had a pair of pants on mind you*
me - "alright"
Guy- "Play something on my guitar, I want to hear music"
me- "No thanks, I am not that good of a guitar player"
Guy- "I SAID PLAY FUCKING MUSIC, IF YOU DON'T PLAY MUSIC I AM GOING TO BASH THIS GUITAR THROUGH THIS STORE WINDOW, do you have spare change so I can get some food?"
Me- *sets guitar down* "I am not giving you money"
Guy- "what..what are you doing, pick up my damn guitar I need to change my pants again"
Me- *starts walking way*
Guy- *chases me until I walk into a small book store*

I had many other great occasions with bums, where they would block my path, drop something and have me pick it up, not only does it disturb me why they did that, but I would rather not know what was going through their mind.

FELIPE NO

TODAY. This guy in a store in the video game aisle commented on the Neopet plushies on my purse. Then asked me about what video games I liked. We talked for a bit and then I mentioned I want to illustrate comic books. He took my hand and pulled me aside and was like, "I love you." (jestfully I hope). I'm pretty sure I just stared back like an idiot. AWKWARD MOMENT.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

He's probably on some forum right now telling all of his e-buddies how he met the person he's destined for.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Well, it's not something awkward that someone said to me, but it was kind of an awkward situation.

So, I was in a store today getting some stuff like toothpaste and all that 'cause I ran out, and I figured since I was in the area I might as well check out their video game selection. See if they had any deals, or anything.

Then I saw her. The most dazzling display of beauty I've ever seen. I'm telling you guys. She was amazing. I wanted to talk to her really bad, but I didn't know how to open conversation, so I ended up saying something about her Neopets plushies that she had on her purse.

She responded, and I thanked god that she didn't just ignore me or hit me with her purse scream rape like the other girls. We talked a bit, I asked her what video games she liked (we were in the game aisle, I figured it was a safe bet). Jackpot! She mentioned she wanted to illustrate comic books, and I felt my heart skip a beat. She was perfect.

I took her hand, and told her I loved her. I don't think I've ever meant anything more in my entire life. I didn't know how to contain my emotions. She stared back, and I could see my love returned in her eyes.

Alas, I fear I may not ever see her again. Woe is me.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The funny thing is that I was going to make a post just like that, except I knew if I did everyone would just go, "but ur gay" and lame it up so I decided not to.

Most amazing jew boots

I'm killing you. In your sleep. Somehow.







Okay, I do admit that's rather funny.

How ya doing, buddy?

I don't sleep. I watch. You.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Red-Neck Americans are funny ^^...

Redneck: Welcome to (insert name) Hotel!
*Looks at me, my dad and my bro
Redneck: Er... Um... Koney-ee-chew-wah!
Us: ...
Redneck: How are you?
Us:... Err.... *interrupts*
Redneck: HOW! *points* YOU! *gesture* FEELING!?
Dad: (In relatively good English) Very good, thank you very much.
Redneck: *Asian accent* Oh! Goot! Goot! Nights, HOW MANY?
Me: Mate, we understand English, you know. Can't you speak normally?
Redback: Ya, ya! America, English-speaking!
Bro: Dude, we're not dumb.
Redback: ? Oh, okay. Um, so how many nights will you be staying here?
Dad: About 8 days.
Redback: 8? *Puts eight fingers up*. Okay. You guys from, like, you know, Japan?
Me: No actually. We're from Australia.
Redneck: *EYES BULGE* What? What? Er... um... WHAT! PLACE! YOU! FROM?
Us: ...
Redneck: YOU! KNOW?! er... MEE HON JIN! You MEE HON JIN?
Me: No seriously, we live in Australia.
Redback: NO! As in WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?
Me: Er.. we're Chinese.
Redback: Where? Where's Chinese?
Us: .................................................. .........-_-'

Memories.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Me and my coworker were waiting at a traffic light, and this drunk man comes over to the passenger side of the van and goes:

Man: How are you?
Coworker: Doing fine.
Man: Hey, got anything good on you?
Coworker: Pack of gum.
Man: That's not good...
Me: Uh, the light's green, got to go...

And I sped off.... (Good thing he moved away from the vehicle....)

FELIPE NO

the most akward thing people have said to me... or asked actually is "didn't that hurt?" in reference to the 6 guage piece of metal hanging from my septum.

Typically I don't even answer and just grab it... pull it down a bit and wiggle it back and forth. Most folks are grossed out enough by that point that they walk away more disturbed by the piercing than when they first saw me...
Mid-life crisis? Hell yeah... more metal for me ^_^

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

So today I was in Tesco looking at biscuits when a slightly deranged man started talking to me about how much he loved custard creams and that ginger snaps were horrible and I was only buying them to fit in with the cool people.

It was like some kind of horrifying, bizarre nightmare.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

My mother is one of those weird people that kind of just randomly says something to a stranger.

She can be very embarrasing that way.

There's nowhere I can't reach.