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Making friends of the opposite gender?
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Musashi
Carob Nut


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Mar 2006


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Old Feb 3, 2007, 03:55 AM Local time: Feb 3, 2007, 01:55 AM #1 of 10
Making friends of the opposite gender?

How do you make friends with the opposite gender without trying to get in a relationship?

Jam it back in, in the dark.
parKbench
chunin


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Level 13.94

Jan 2007


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Old Feb 3, 2007, 08:50 AM #2 of 10
I don't know. I've never had any close female friends. I tried, but she had a jealous b/f. Something always gets in the way. Either she hooks up wuth someone, or you hook up with someone, eventually you drift apart. I had a g/f who's best friend was a guy and I didn't think anything of it...guess what they wound up doing? Me? I found another g/f.

I just think that a boy/girl friendship will lead to sex somewhere down the road, it is enevitable; that is, unless one of you hooks up first. Then the significant other will most likely force you to break up the friendship.

Just the fact that you are asking that question means that it is probably NOT a good idea...

How ya doing, buddy?
LiveTendiser
Holdin Strong


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Level 6.41

Apr 2006


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Old Feb 4, 2007, 05:12 PM #3 of 10
Here's a good insight on your question.

Can Men and Women Be Friends?

My perspective is that it can be achieved. One will say just be yourself. Irregardless if this has been overused, it holds truth. Ultimately, if you can't achieve a balance and a definitive description of the friendship, then you'll be in a blurry state where anything goes. The choice, however, is ultimately yours.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Bernard Black
I don't mean this in a bad way, but genetically you are a cul-de-sac


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Old Feb 4, 2007, 05:30 PM Local time: Feb 4, 2007, 10:30 PM #4 of 10
I've always had more male friends than female friends. I'm assuming that none of these friendships have turned into anything more than that due to my general unattractiveness and tomboyishness ^_^; However, I know a man and a woman who are almost inseperable best friends, both being highly attractive, which proves it can be done.

You're basically gambling when you try to do it because even if you aren't attracted to them to begin with, you might develop feelings for them. Just get talking to them; just because you are opposite genders, it doesn't mean a conversation will inevitably lead to a relationship. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's just one of those things that happen.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Last edited by Bernard Black; Feb 4, 2007 at 05:35 PM.
The Wise Vivi
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Old Feb 4, 2007, 05:59 PM Local time: Feb 4, 2007, 05:59 PM #5 of 10
I have never had trouble being close friends with girls, mainly because most of them find me fun to be around and they always have a god time. The only problem I have is the fact that they have a hard time taking it to the higher level later.... confusing them...

I was speaking idiomatically.
parKbench
chunin


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Old Feb 4, 2007, 08:45 PM #6 of 10
That is the problem with men and women being friends. Unless both want to take it to the "higher level", the friendship will end, or at least, become awkward. Either way, it will never be the same as it was.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
Arkhangelsk
Good to see you, England


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Old Feb 5, 2007, 12:43 AM Local time: Feb 4, 2007, 11:43 PM #7 of 10
My entire life has consisted of me being friends with guys. I'm not going to say that it hasn't led to some uncomfortable/awkward situations, but currently my two best friends in CA and TX are male. Usually I start to feel something, but it's not nearly the same feeling I get from actually being romantically attracted to them. It's just...different.

FELIPE NO
Single Elbow
You have no dignity.


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Old Feb 5, 2007, 01:37 AM Local time: Feb 4, 2007, 11:37 PM #8 of 10
What I don't sometimes get is why some guys get the butterflies in their stomachs trying to make friends with a girl and vice versa? I mean, just treat them like anyone else - be friendly and not too relationship-focused. Hell, I don't even think this is an issue.

Sure, I made a couple good female friends but never thought of asking them out. For me, being friends is good enough.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?
The Plane Is A Tiger
Time Traveling Consequences


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Mar 2006


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Old Feb 24, 2007, 03:22 PM #9 of 10
To claim that it's impossible for guys and girls to just be friends seems pretty ridiculous to me. I've got several good female friends, and things have never gotten messy because I just see them as friends. If you start a friendship wondering if you can manage romantic feelings towards the other person, or considering how to move it up to a "higher level" someday, then it's probably not a good idea.

Complications can arise later on, but that's why will-power exists. Chances are it's nothing more than a crush that'll pass. It depends mostly on the individual's personality. A few years ago I had a male friend who'd hit on anything that vaguely resembled a girl, but he never once considered dating his one female friend because she felt like a sister to him.

Jam it back in, in the dark.
Temari
I'm changing the world. And you're gonna help.


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Old Feb 24, 2007, 04:04 PM #10 of 10
I was mostly friends with women in high school, but it eventually switched to men in college. I think its easier for girls to get in with guys then guys to get in with girls. Its probably because I just did more crap with guys. Sports are a good way to go about it... I'm just about the only girl who plays frisbee up here, so all the frisbee guys are my buddies. Its the same thing with Paintball. Get involved with co-ed sports, or clubs of some sort, where both genders work together.

There's nowhere I can't reach.
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