Telemarketers - How do you deal with them?

Most of the time I just ramble in in Japanese or in a different forgin language and then hang up, but now i am tempted to try all the creative things most of guys have already done! sounds fun!

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Summonmaster

My dad's pretty funny though, as he always asks "where are your headquarters?", and "who am I speaking to?", as well as: "how did you get our number?"

haha, I know a guy who does that. He asks where they're stationed at, then who's their state senator and on and on about political stuff, and his wife would yell at him for the phone rape.

I haven't tried this one but after their initial sentence, you turn on the tv to a channel with snow and static sound and whisper in a low voice, "7 days..." then hang up. If I were a telemarketer, I'd quit my job after that..

Most amazing jew boots

i usually say 'tell me ALL about your product" then gently place the phone down on the pillow and leave.
or i scream NO. and hang up
or sometimes they fuckin call at at 9/10 in the morning (im a college student mind you) so i just go "how about you don't call me anymore especially not so early in the morning. click"

I was speaking idiomatically.

I actually tried this once where a telemarketer calls, and he starts his usual spiel of shit, and I start going "Mmmm" and "oooh" to everything he says. Then I'll start dirty whispering like "Uh huh.. oh, God, yes! Tell me that again!"
And if they haven't hung up by then I'll pretend to be climaxing when he offers anything about the product he's selling.

God, I miss telemarketers...

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

There are so many things you can say to those people, my friend pretends that the person they're calling is dead and starts to yell hysterically. I don't have the guts to do things like that >_>. However whenever they call there's usually a little pause before the call gets through, so if I hear that I slam the phone down so I don't have to deal with them.

FELIPE NO

I don't have the option of slamming the phone because they always call back, if not five minute then a few days. Unfortunately, I haven't had any telemarketers call since I made this thread so I can't try out some of the stuff you guys have been saying.

How ya doing, buddy?

Well, as I'm unemployed at the moment, I've been around more during the day to receive these calls.

My dad and I have the same name, so they'll ask for him and I'll say, "This is him." And listen for awhile. Usually, I'm tired or doing something so I'll just say "Please take this number off your list and don't call back." But if I'm bored, I'll just sit and listen quietly then start randomly playing clips from "Saw," "Kids In The Hall," or "Invader Zim"..its funny when an operator hears "Are you making bacon?" five times in a row and still answers the question.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

LOL this has to be one of the funniest threads i've read...
i don't do much to telemarketers, i usually hang up when they're in the middle of introducing themselves and they're company...
but while i was reading this, i was imagining all the crap i could pull on them....like...

when they're doing their shpiel on whatever crap they're selling, i can get out my violin and when they stop, give them a few seconds of silence, then suddenly play the loudest, squeakiest, highest note i can manage and give them a good scare and a nice bit of goosebumps...

or start spouting chinese with a few unpleasant body noises stuck in between...

or go to the piano, hold down the damper pedal, and play ALL the keys as loud as i possibly can (kinda like the violin deal up there)

or quote an episode in friends and be like "i don't need your product" and when they ask why, say "cuz i'm going to kill myself" and hang up

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I used to just slam the phone down, but we have a portable now so its not an option. But....my brother is into all that death metal/punk crap, so I walk to his room, crank the stereo up and put the phone next to it and switch the stereo on. The current record is 11 seconds before they hang up.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'm on a do not call list, but it doesnt work, so I simply flatulate into the telephone receiver.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

i just don't reply

I was speaking idiomatically.

I have a cell phone, and that's it. So, telemarketers really aren't supposed to call, but since the whole thing's computer controlled, the numbers get rotated in. (Phones are dialed in numerical order.)

Anyway, my provider blocks those calls automatically, so I have some interesting numbers showing up:

1-555-555-5555
1-121-212-1212

And so on.

However, I did have this experience at work. A telemarketer called, I answered, and listened to her sales pitch (hey--it got me out of work). However, there is a trick question involved. "Are you over 18 and have the authority to change this part of your job?" Yes, I'm over 18, but I don't have the authority. I told her to stop and contact the office. She told me just to say yes, and it would be all right. Wrong answer. I hung up on her, *69'ed the number, called back, and got the manager. I "politely" suggested re-training their callers that when someone can't answer a question, then they should politely hang up.

But, before the cell phone--I had a normal phone, and I've been rude to a few others. Once mispronounced my name, and I corrected him, and his response: "Chill." *click*

Tele: "Do you have a few moments to take our survey?"
Me: "I'm sorry, no. I have to get to work."
Tele: "This will take only a few moments."
Me: "Okay. But will you call my work and tell them I was late because you were too rude to listen to my wishes?"
Tele: "When would be a good time to call?"
Me: "Never." *click*

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?