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Long Distance Relationships
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Shorty
21. Arch of the Warrior Maidens


Member 2028

Level 30.81

Mar 2006


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Old Nov 18, 2010, 04:07 AM Local time: Nov 18, 2010, 02:07 AM #1 of 18
Long Distance Relationships

*Note: My goal for this is a general topic discussion, not an advice thread.

I won't be afraid to admit, I'm no stranger to long-distance relationships. Been there, done it, still sucks, that type of thing. Some works, some were just bittersweet memories in the end. I've come to discover that being in love from a difference has a lot of variance from person to person, relationship to relationship.

For example, a relationship starting when you were still a teenager in college when you _just_ started dating each other after Sadie Hawkins in your senior year of high school and you went to college in a completely different state--is obviously going to differ drastically from when you're 25, you've been dating the person for few years, maybe even thinking about getting married but the job pulls you apart.

Yeah, yeah, very specific examples at very different maturity levels, I know. But you get the gist of the example I put there. *points to above hideous paragraph*

So, if you've been (or are) in one, what are/were your thoughts, what did you learn, and how do/did you deal with it.

my experiences:
I'm coping with mine by re-establishing myself as a single person first. I've had to re-learn how to have fun on my own, re-learn how to spend a lot of time alone and actually enjoy it. Not that bad once you get over the "hmm, oh hay where's my boo to cuddle with" and "wahhhh lonely!" feeling. Once that's through, it's all about finding comfort in keeping myself busy. I find that since I hate my job and I feel like my brain rots there, I've been having to focus my energy during my free time at night spending more family time visiting mom and sis or brushing up on knitting skills. Maybe even learn a new song on the piano. Or finally get through that fucking emulator DQ-V I've been stuck on lvl 35 for the last year and a half or so.

Whatever the case maybe, that's the gist of how I handle myself. Dealing with the other person? I try not to think about it too much. I let luck take my hand on when I get to talk to him, since I like to believe he's just as anxious to see/hear from me as much as I, so if I can't get to a webcam for whatever reason, I have to understand that the same goes for him too.


p.s., shameless plug:
I found that Lovingfromadistance.com is a great resource for random stuff for long-distance relationship couples to do--found some great ideas there. I won't go as far as buying those t-shirts from BoldLoft.com, but thinking of fun things to do as a couple away from each other in a fun way definitely helps ease the magnitude of separation anxiety.


Jam it back in, in the dark.
Shorty
21. Arch of the Warrior Maidens


Member 2028

Level 30.81

Mar 2006


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Old Feb 20, 2012, 12:03 PM Local time: Feb 20, 2012, 10:03 AM #2 of 18
Put Balls, glad you're happier.

I think there's a difinitive difference between finding someone online (or someone you met at some exchange where you knew your time together was temporary) as opposed to someone you've been in a long-term relationship previously before the distance settled in.

As for me, I'm still in the same Situation I was before, with a few improvements:
- FaceTime has been a godsend.
- We've gotten into the routine of spending at least a few hours over the week / weekends on FaceTime and doing some Simul-watch (inspired by Tails and Acer, thank you guys!) to have some common activity to do together
- with that, we have been communicating more often via KakaoTalk (free texting service; helps with the international LDR thing)

The downs are more related to my personal issues (inside my head and more career woes than can sink a ship).

There's nowhere I can't reach.
Shorty
21. Arch of the Warrior Maidens


Member 2028

Level 30.81

Mar 2006


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Old Mar 6, 2012, 01:18 AM Local time: Mar 5, 2012, 11:18 PM #3 of 18
In long-distance now, doing national service for 1.5 years. So far 1 month down. Tried long-distance with another girl before, ended after 14 months but hardly knew that girl then. Very serious with current one - been together for years and planning future together. I'm in taiwan and she's in australia - nearly 6000 km - we're early 20's, very small social groups and high trust and reason.

Any suggestions and advice?

Wish us all the best!
FaceTime is a godsend. Good Luck.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
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