When they're down...

You know you've always given me great advice. So I'll try my best to give my impressions of your situation.

I've been pretty much the breadwinner in my relationship especially over the last 4 years. I actually like being the breadwinner because I take a lot of pride being the one that makes sure the bills are paid, and everything is looked after. I like being dependable and reliable for making sure a paycheck comes to the house and taking care of my wife, even though I know she is more than capable of looking after herself.

Even if I was not the breadwinner, and I ended up being unemployed or had a hard time even finding another job. It wouldn't surprise me if it did happen. I don't consider myself a type of person to have an ego. So even if I was unemployed, I would try whatever it takes to get some income coming into the household. Even though I know it would be stressful , the only thing I would ask for is support, to know that things will eventually get better. Sometimes hearing words of encouragement and concern can be well received especially if I'm not feeling all that great about my employment situation.

I'll be honest there was a period of time in which my wife wasn't working and it was stressful being the only person working, and bearing the responsibility of paying all the costs especially with the bills and our own home, but I knew eventually she would get a job of her own to help out with the expenses.

I didn't want to pressure her, because I wanted her to find something she really enjoyed. If I pushed her into a direction she didn't want to be in it just would of added more stress in the relationship.

I think the best thing you can do in your relationship Shorty, is to give him his space, and let him find a way to vent his frustrations without getting you involved. You can only do so much, so let him know you'll always be here, but don't allow him to bottle his frustrations because it will probably erupt in a very argumenative way.

Jam it back in, in the dark.