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Merged Book Titles
So I was stumbling through a bunch of terrible sites earlier when one caught my eye. It was an article about a Washington Post contest in which readers were invited to send in their best "merged book title" ideas, along with a bit of a synopsis to serve as explanation.
Now, you're probably confused as to what I mean by any of this. Understandable. Here are a few choice examples:
Enjoy. Jam it back in, in the dark. |
I wish I was clever enough to do this.
There's nowhere I can't reach. |
Ender's Game of Thrones. An eight-year old is kidnapped and forced to become the king's military advisor and eventually....
... (Diss This Post). Most amazing jew boots |
Canterbury Tales from the Crypt
The collective story of myriad journeymen and their slow, tortuous descent into madness as each is unable to reconcile the horrors strewn along his travels. Cannibalistic hijinx ensue! Brave New War of the Worlds Residents of a futuristic society must grapple with the sociological implications of what is considered "normal" versus "taboo," only to eventually have their heads blown off by ruthless aliens. If You Give A Mouse Some Flowers A retarded man toils earnestly to meet the requests of an increasingly demanding and manipulative mouse whose intellect has been augmented by experimental drugs, until the retarded man's only wish is for the mouse to die. I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body? |
Down and Out in Paris and Wonderland
George Orwell relates his experiences living amongst the desperately poor of Paris. Half way through the backdrop shifts to a fantasy land of talking rabbits and grinning cats. But this does nothing to improve Orwell's lot and he finds himself at the bottom of the Wonderland social order, working 70 hours as a plongeur washing up after tea-party after tea party. I was speaking idiomatically. |
Oh my, that Walden one was very good.
Animal Farmer's Almanac A prescient fable in which the moment man looks into the abyss is forecast two years in advance. Girl With The Pearl The tale follows the young Mexican beauty Griet on the cusp of womanhood as she finds herself seduced by the lean, local diving champ Kino Vermeer -- a salty Gulf romance pillowed by the apt metaphor of the undersea, and hard-to-reach, polished prize. You'll wet your lips in anticipation. And then you'll wet them again. Of Maus and Men Leni, a retarded Jew, miraculously escapes the Nazi slaughter by forgetting to remove a cat mask from a church play, only to die after falling on sharpened wit. What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? |
IT Takes A Village
One woman's treatise on how to effectively acknowledge a child's insights and concerns about the ever-present threat of a murderous clown. FELIPE NO |
A Better World for our Children of the Corn
Dr. Spock writes on the importance of establishing a solid familial foundation through veneration and obedience to He Who Walks Behind the Rows. What, you don't want my bikini-clad body? |
The Satanic Versus O.J. Simpson
One of the most controversial book in recent history. Now with ban lifted. Jam it back in, in the dark. |
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