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Uwe Boll goes back to high school: Asks critics to fight him.
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Talbain
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Old Jun 13, 2006, 01:02 PM Local time: Jun 13, 2006, 06:02 PM #1 of 12
Uwe Boll goes back to high school: Asks critics to fight him.

For those of you who have ever wanted to beat this guy up...

Quote:
June 12, 2006 – Vancouver, BC – We are proud to announce that Dr.Uwe Boll’s BLOODRAYNE starring Kristanna Loken, Michael Madsen, Matthew Davis, Michelle Rodriguez, Sir Ben Kingsley, Will Sanderson, Udo Kier, Meat Loaf, Michael Pare & Billy Zane had a successful release May 23rd., 2006 on DVD in both Canada & USA.

Iain Taylor of Vivendi Visual Entertainment Canada stated, “BloodRayne ranked in the top 6 best selling DVD titles during the first part week of sales in Canada (Nielsen Videoscan Canada)”. In the USA BloodRayne’s DVD performance was even stronger. Tom O’Malley, GM of Vivendi Visual Entertainment (USA), said “For the first time in this industry, a Theatrical Release and the Complete PC Video Game were released together on DVD. BloodRayne ranked in the top 5 best selling DVD titles during its debut week (Nielsen VideoScan USA)”. In both countries unofficial DVD rental statistics have proven to be even more impressive.

Again the fans have shown that the critics of Uwe Boll are out of touch with want the general movie audience population wants. Dr. Boll has continually been roasted for the films he has directed and produced. His last two films, House of the Dead & Alone in the Dark, cost $20 million but they have grossed over $110 million to-date. The same negative reactions from some of the same press and the internet critics are now being directed at Uwe Boll’s latest film; BloodRayne.

Dr. Uwe Boll has had enough! Uwe Boll’s position is “I am fed up. I’m fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who’ve never watched my films. I have been told that “BloodRayne” has a very bad IMDb rating, but how many of those votes of zero were made before the movie appeared in theatres.” The criticism goes on and on.

Uwe is now challenging the critics that failed to watch his films prior to reviewing or commenting, “TO PUT UP OR SHUT UP!”

On July 17th, 2006 Uwe will start filming his next feature film, “Seed”, starring Will Sanderson, Ralf Moeller, Michael Pare & Andrew Jackson. Following that film he will go into production in late September with another feature called “Postal”. Both movies will be shot in Vancouver, BC, Canada.

Towards the end of the filming of the “Postal” the 5 most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms. As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra / stand-in in “Postal” and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10 bout match. There will be 5 matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the Postal movie. All 5 fights will be televised on the internet and will be covered by international press.

To be eligible you must be a critic who has posted on the internet or have written in magazines / newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005. Critics of 2006 will not be considered. Please submit proof of your negative reviews & comments via e-mail to:

All challengers must be healthy males, weighing between 64 kilograms (140 lbs.) and 86 kilograms (190 lbs.). You will require to be physically examined by a doctor and sign the necessary release forms for liability, etc. You will not be paid or entitled to any residuals
or fees. Your transportation & hotel costs will be covered.

Dr. Uwe Boll’s invitation to fight and / or appear in his film is extended to all his harshest critics. Roger Avary and Quentin Tarantino are among the most eligible candidates.

The following posters to the IMDb have earned the right to be placed on the list of the most extreme anti-Boll critics and are therefore eligible to enter the contest. Contestants will be chosen to be an extra and physically box Dr. Uwe Boll.
This seems to be an immature request if he is serious, but I think that this is more for PR and just a poke at the community as a whole.

In any case, what do you think?

Jam it back in, in the dark.
acid
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Old Jun 13, 2006, 01:12 PM Local time: Jun 13, 2006, 12:12 PM #2 of 12
I think that I'd like to see one of the fat dudes from AICN sit on his head until the kicking stopped.

How ya doing, buddy?

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guyinrubbersuit
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Old Jun 13, 2006, 01:14 PM Local time: Jun 13, 2006, 11:14 AM #3 of 12
What a fucking baby. Dude, your movies suck! I saw them! They are god awful and not even so bad that they're good. They just flat out suck! I'd fight the fucker.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
Eleo
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Old Jun 13, 2006, 01:19 PM #4 of 12
All I ask is that the fights are recorded so I can watch them later.

You know sometimes I wonder if Uwe Boll will ever make a great outofnowhere movie. It could happen. In fact, maybe if he tries to direct a bad film on purpose he'd end up with an extremely good film unintentionally.

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Cobalt Katze
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Old Jun 13, 2006, 01:21 PM Local time: Jun 13, 2006, 10:21 AM #5 of 12
It's part of his Postal movie, based on a game (Postal II that is) that had you beating up the creators of it as well. I think it makes sense Even though I'd never see it.

I was speaking idiomatically.
OmagnusPrime
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Old Jun 13, 2006, 01:37 PM Local time: Jun 13, 2006, 06:37 PM #6 of 12
It's an interesting concept, though I wonder what safe-guards will be in place to stop anyone doing too much damage to him. You know I bet they pick the weakest looking runts of anyone that dares go for it.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
Rockgamer
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Old Jun 13, 2006, 04:14 PM Local time: Jun 13, 2006, 03:14 PM #7 of 12
Wow, this is totally retarded. Instead of fighting back critics the right way (by actually making a good film), he just wants to literally fight them. I've never seen any of his films, so I'm not gonna judge those, but judging him as a person, he's just a fucking retarded loser.

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Old Jun 13, 2006, 05:55 PM Local time: Jun 13, 2006, 03:55 PM #8 of 12
Originally Posted by OmagnusPrime
...I wonder what safe-guards will be in place to stop anyone doing too much damage to him.
If there is a god, none whatsoever.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?
joshi
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Old Jun 13, 2006, 05:59 PM #9 of 12
I find all of the information in that article incredibly dubious. I don't mean the stuff about him wanting to fight critics, I mean the sales figures from his movies. it's impossible to believe that Alone In the Dark grossed over five million, period.

Jam it back in, in the dark.
SemperFidelis
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Old Jun 13, 2006, 07:38 PM #10 of 12
Sounds like something I would do. Really, his reaction is exactly what I would do.

There's nowhere I can't reach.
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Talbain
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Old Jun 13, 2006, 07:55 PM Local time: Jun 14, 2006, 12:55 AM #11 of 12
Well, since the footage will be used in one of his future films, I doubt there's going to be a line of critics who can't wait to be in a Uwe Boll film.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
starslight
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Old Jun 14, 2006, 08:43 AM #12 of 12
I would buy Quentin Tarantino vs. Uwe Boll on pay-per-view. I doubt either of them can fight worth a damn, but that would be GOLD.

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