[Movie] WWE/TNA fanfiction thread

Oh dear sweet merciful toast.

Spoiler:

Maybe if Daivari was still his manager...

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Edge should have cashed in his briefcase on Cena instead of Taker. I'd rather have Edge as a champion than Cena. I mean, he's entertaining and all, but enough is e-fucking-nough.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I actually liked the Edge/Cena angle. It made Cena entertaining for once.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Benoit needs to jump ship to RAW and take Cena's ass out. If the STFU is an "unstoppable move", then the Crippler Crossface is instant death.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Winter Storm

Sadly, Benoit has also tapped to the STFU :/.

WTF? Jeez, I bail on WWE for a few months and suddenly Cena eats the Smackdown roster alive.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Heh, Tenay needed to keep his mouth shut, but just be glad it wasn't West... that dude is the main reason I don't like watching TNA. His voice sounds like a dying opossum being throttled by an alternating centripetal wheel.

FELIPE NO

SHIT. I knew I missed something last night. Anyone who watched SNME wanna fill me in on what went down?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Heh, from the first few minutes so far it seems like there's going to be a new angle with Mr. McMahon going completely insane... might actually make things interesting. Also, I'm calling it. Cena wins against both Khali and Umaga, by simultaneously STFUing both of them after sprouting a third leg and 2 more arms, while at the same time pulling a Dhalsim and stretching his torso to pull that off...

OK, so that's a little extreme, so I'm just gonna call Cena winning.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Kostaki

Vince McMahon IS...

Spoiler:

GHOST RIDER 2

seriously what the fuck was that

How appropriate that the new ad on wwe.com's background is announcing the Ghost Rider DVD XD.

Nothing like "mourning the passing of your leader" than mocking him.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Crash Landon

WWE.com is, as always, the last bastion of grace, tact and dignity.

Observe this playful juxtapositioning:




PRESS IT. GIVE A TOOT FOR VINCE.

Also, take notice that while the corporate flag is at half-mast there, the American flag isn't. Could that be because it's against Federal Law to put the American flag at half-mast for someone who is faking death? Way to keep the story realistic, guys.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Enter User Name

I highly doubt it is against the law to put the american flag at half mast for a fake death. Maybe they didn't put the flag at half mast because why do they even need to go though the trouble of doing that when only a mental patient would believe that McMahon really died.

According to the United States flag code, it's illegal to display the American Flag in a way inconsistent with regulation. However with permission from the Governor of a state, or by presidential decree, the flag may be lowered to half-mast to honor the memory of the passing of an important figure. If they even remotely wanted anyone to buy this crap angle, they'd at least not include the American Flag in the picture.

How ya doing, buddy?

Well, the reason for the Limo angle is revealed.

Apparently USA is putting pressure on the WWE to make a return to the Attitude Era, and this angle is WWE's attempt to initiate that change. Just a shame they couldn't come up with a better angle to kickstart things. I mean, look at what started the first Attitude Era, the Austin 3:16 speech was classic and to this day is still infamous. It was believable, and Stone Cold was a perfect poster boy for the era. A limo exploding and a whole crapload of illegitimate "FBI" investigations is not a good way to bring the edge back.

Also, listen to this shit:

"On June 11, 2007, the unimaginable occurred when Mr. McMahon's limo exploded as he left Raw’s McMahon Appreciation Night leaving the question: WHO DID IT? As we continue to mourn this sudden lost suspicions are arising. Everyone knows Mr. McMahon had a multitude of enemies, maybe it was YOU! Confess your hand in this heinous act by owning the I DID IT T-shirt today! Black. 100% cotton. Screen-printed in the USA. Imported."

WWE continues to show it's grace and tact in this angle. Stephanie must be losing her mind over it [/sarcasm]

I was speaking idiomatically.

Well, according to PWInsider, Benoit called WWE before Vengeance telling them he wouldn't make it back as his family was sick and coughing up blood. Perhaps he succumbed to whatever they were dealing with.

Truly sad that he's gone. I'm in shock about the whole thing honestly. Seems like the Radicalz are dropping like flies >_<.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Well, as one bright moment in all of this tragedy, at least it calls for the end of the ridiculous Vince angle. He kicked off Raw by stating what had happened, and he did so very gracefully. You could see him holding back the tears, it was almost touching.

FELIPE NO

Yeah, the second I first heard about it, I thought it was another BS death angle... I really do wish it was. This (at least to me) signals the true end of the new ECW. A big time player like Chris was was exactly what ECW needed to kick it into high gear... They're not going to be able to find even the slightest replacement for him.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

This is a fucking lovely thing to wake up to.

Last night I had to hold back tears over the loss of one of my favorites, only to be woken up and angered by the fact that he may have done himself and his family in? Goddamn, man. As morbid as it sounds, I kind of hope his wife did the thing... I prefer thinking fondly of Benoit.

EDIT: TMZ got some new leads on all this:

TMZ has learned more about the deaths of WWE wrestling superstar Chris Benoit, his wife and son -- and the information is extremely disturbing.

Several Atlanta-based law enforcement sources have told TMZ Benoit may have strangled his wife on Saturday, then smothered his son in his bed a day later. Investigators refuse to officially comment, pending final confirmation by the coroner on the cause and time of the deaths.

One source told TMZ that Benoit was texting friends during Sunday's WWE "Vengeance" Pay-Per-View program -- possibly watching the show with his son, who may have been alive at the time.

According to sources, Benoit then hanged himself Monday in a weight room inside the family home.

A police investigation is ongoing.


Another interesting thing is that WWE is removing all merchandise regarding Benoit from their site, even going so far as to say that the WMXX main event was HHH vs. HBK for the title, completely omitting Benoit.

Most amazing jew boots

New stuff: An official confirmed it, also, a potential reason has come to light.

Quote:

ATLANTA (AP-Staff) - Pro wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife and smothered his son before hanging himself in his weight room, a law enforcement official close to the investigation told The Associated Press Tuesday.

The official spoke on the condition of anonymity.

Authorities also said they are investigating whether steroids may have been a factor in the deaths of Benoit, his wife, Nancy, and their 7-year-old son, Daniel, who were found dead in an apparent murder-suicide.

Fayette County District Attorney Scott Ballard said test results may not be back for weeks or even months.

Autopsies were scheduled Tuesday by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation in DeKalb County.

From NoDQ.com

Quote:

The Atlanta-Journal Constitution, while updating their coverage of the Benoit family tragedy, reported that Nancy Benoit filed for divorce and an order of protection in May 2003.

In the divorce petition, Nancy Benoit alleged that Chris Benoit, "lost his temper and threatened to strike the petitioner and cause extensive damage to the home and personal belongings of the parties, including furniture and furnishings. Petitioner is in reasonable fear for petitioner's own safety and that of the minor child."

A judge issued a restraining order against Benoit and barred him from entering the family home. Nancy Benoit asked the court to dismiss the petition in August of that year. The couple later reconciled, celebrating together in the ring following Benoit's WWE World championship win at Wrestlemania XX.

Autopsies in the deaths of The Benoits and their seven year old son Daniel are scheduled for today in Decatur, Georgia.

And another explanation:

Quote:

PWTorch.com has learned that one major media entity has received an email purporting to be from a friend of the Chris Benoit extended family saying that Benoit accidentally killed his wife in a domestic argument, then panicked and killed his son later so his son could be with his mother rather than grow up without a mom and knowing his father as a murderer.

The last one is mere speculation, though.

Most amazing jew boots

CNN is also broadcasting it. I'm stunned how much press this is getting. It's like Phil Hartman all over again.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'd still like to think that it was carbon monoxide that killed his wife and son, and that he offed himself out of depression. I really really can't bring myself to think of Benoit doing otherwise.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Apparently the idea for ECW tonight and for SmackDown! on Friday is to just do straight matches. No storylines, no nothing. I'd imagine they'd update us on what's going on, but don't expect more than straight up wrestling tonight.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I'm behind Vince on this one too. Fucking news outlets acting like Vince said "OH HAI GAIZ LOL BENOIT KILLED PEOPLE LETS IDOLIZE HIM LULZ". He did what he did out of love for a fallen wrestler. There's no way they could have known.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Yeah, I can only imagine Cena's presence there is to put Nitro over. He did the same for RVD at One Night Stand last year. Nothing gives a champ and belt credibility better than being put over by a big-leaguer.

It would be odd though... Cena can kick Umaga AND Khali's respective asses, but Nitro is TOO MUCH OMG.

EDIT: CENA WINS. Excellent way to promote the ECW champ guys.

FELIPE NO

Please, Roddy. PLEASE. Kick Striker's ass >_<.

EDIT: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES. Classic Piper.

Most amazing jew boots

Some more news...

Originally Posted by NoDQ.com

A woman tells News 1130 in Vancouver, B.C. that Chris Benoit's son Daniel had a condition called Fragile X syndrome. Wikipedia describes the symptoms:

Aside from intellectual disability (mental retardation), prominent characteristics of the syndrome include an elongated face, large or protruding ears, flat feet, larger testicals in men (macroorchidism), and low muscle tone. Behavioral characteristics may include stereotypic movements (e.g., hand-flapping) and atypical social development, particularly shyness and limited eye contact. Some individuals with the fragile X syndrome also meet the diagnostic criteria for autism. While full mutation males tend to present with severe intellectual disability, the symptomology of full mutation females runs the gamut of minimally affected to severe intellectual disability, which may explain why females are underdiagnosed relative to males.

The woman interviewed for the News 1130 story says her family was in contact with the Benoits, but they didn't want to go public with the disease and chose to keep things low profile. She added that families can be torn apart by the disease because it's very difficult to find help and support. She said, "You as a parent have to go out there and find what's available and it's not easy --they don't tell you."

This may explain why Daniel was taking growth hormone injections. It also may shed light onto why Chris didn't want someone else raising his son and made the fateful decision to kill him. As irrational and twisted as it may sound, he may have felt he was saving his son from the double-blow of losing his parents through a murder-suicide and being subject to being raised by people who didn't understand or care for his condition.

Also, as has been pointed out, Roid Rage doesn't make people kill over a 72 hour period. On top of that, Steroid withdrawals can make one depressed and that may have caused his insanity.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Holy crap... I thought you may have been pulling a 4chons joke there... but it's serious... ABC News reported that he might have been killed with a choke hold.

There's nowhere I can't reach.