Leaving a relationship

Granted, I realize this is the entirely wrong area to be asking this question, but seriously, how does one get themselves out of a relationship?

To give you some background, my girlfriend doesn't work, expects me to take care of HER child (hers because I'm not the sperm donor) when I get off of work, and pretty much annoys the hell out of me anymore because if she is playing world of warcraft, I have to take care of her kid...when I'm playing WoW, I have to take care of her kid.

Right now as I type, I'm holding the baby in my lap while she sleep because she didn't get much sleep at all today, when I worked for 9 hours straight.

I have to put the baby to bed, and get up in the morning early so I can give her a ride around town to find a job.

I need out, problem is we just leased on a new apartment two months ago for a year, and we have some bad checks out that are in both of our names, although she signed all of them (I'm an idiot.) So how can I just gtfo w/o my computer being damaged?

How ya doing, buddy?

Take your computer out of the apt. sometime before hand. Then, gtfo.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

dude you need to stop wow for a few months, get your shit straight, then come back.

Nobody likes a player who has to AFK mid raid just cause their life is in shambles. NOBODY. UNRELIABLE. GET OUTTA MY GUILD

How ya doing, buddy?

Seriously dude, cancel your account for a few months and get your shit together, if you have bad checks and a bad relationship WHILE dealing with a baby, you and your soon-to-be ex need to stop trying for BWL raids and get in fucking gear.


But if you're really worried about your computer here (which seems to be the least important part of this story), then yea, get it out of the apartment beforehand. I just hope you aren't resigning this kid to some shitty upbringing, granted, it isn't your responsibility, but there might be some residual guilt on your end, knowing that may have been avoided.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I don't even have a level 60

On top of that, she never leaves the house, NEVER.

As for the computer, well, I consider it my pride and joy, kinda my hobby in which I add onto it's awesomeness whenever I can, that's why I consider it important >.>

OH and for anyone else that gets into something like I did, if the bitch says "If you don't do this, I'm gonna leave you" fucking LEAVE THE BITCH. I paid for it in the end cause I'm retarded :/

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I dont know how old you are, but It seems like this is Waaay to much responsiblity for a twenty-something. Granted, alot of them place it upon themselves by having kids, but I dont see why you should. I feel for that kid, but its really not your responsibility unless you really want it.

It will become really hard to leave if you get attached to that baby.

I assume you are paying for her WoW account too since she doesnt seem to work...You need to develop some personal boundries man.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

This is fucked. up.

You need to get the computer out of the house, regardless of if she'll damage it or not. It's fucking KILLING your family life.

If you guys have a kid (and I don't give a shit if it's only her kid. She comes as a package deal), you need to put down the toys and fucking TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS.

Stop giving her a reason to stay in all day, everyday. Give her a reason to go look for a job. Or at least give her reason to clean the house and cook, for Christ's sakes.

Your family is dysfunctional. You're too busy fighting about who gets to take care of the kid while playing WoW. Thats sick. If I lived in that house, the game would be out the fucking window. If you can't do it in moderation, you've got a serious problem - the BOTH of you.

Also, about your bitch - you need to stop letting her walk all over you. If you just GIVE IN and give her what she wants, she'll constantly expect more and more. Put your FOOT DOWN, god DAMN where is the resolve here?

SO DEPRESSING.

FELIPE NO

Sass pretty much said what I have to say...-_-;

I wonder if GFF just attracts people with messed up lives. I think everyone here has an interesting life story to unfold. Or maybe thats just my perception of it.

In any case, children come first. Stop playing WoW. Talking to your parents would be a good first step. When things have normalized or seem better, talk to your GF. Its not use leaving now so you'll have to stick it through.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Hydelloon

In any case, children come first. Stop playing WoW. Talking to your parents would be a good first step. When things have normalized or seem better, talk to your GF. Its not use leaving now so you'll have to stick it through.

Yea, I should have mentioned something a little more on topic.

If you leave her because you can't play enough WoW (or she gets to play too much without doing her responsibilities as a parent), you're a fucking dumbass.

What did you think this relationship would be about? Did you think having a kid involved would make things any easier? I could see if it was just the two of you and you were just fed up with her and wanted to leave - but there's a CHILD involved. You're both being jackasses. If you're older enough to pop out a kid, you should be old enough to DEAL with that.

Don't leave her because of your trivial problems with a game and a computer. The computer should be the LAST thing on your mind.

((Seriously. Who raised these people.))

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Hydelloon

I wonder if GFF just attracts people with messed up lives. I think everyone here has an interesting life story to unfold. Or maybe thats just my perception of it.

I think it's the depressing colors that does it. That, and the fact that gamers and anime freaks tend to be the outcasts of any society so there are bound to be a lot of depressed people here. :P No offence, though. I like games and anime, too. They used to be a big part of my life, but I've grown out of them a little.

Back on topic:
Dude, why is she even your GF? Did you meet her on WoW, or what? You don't seem to have anything else in common. Either you get rid of that computer or you get rid of her, it's that simple. Money problems or no, it's just gonna get messier and messier if you keep at it like this.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Waiting for nadi to move this to Angst.

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Originally Posted by Cat9

It will become really hard to leave if you get attached to that baby.

Actually, what's worse is that if he IS attached to that baby and she decides to leave (she will eventually, you know) he will have absolutely no rights to the kid. He's not the father, therefore it is pretty much impossible to even get visitation, no matter how long they were in his house and how much he paid to support her and the kid.

Am I the only one here who noticed that he asked about how to leave and not about how to fix the relationship? He knows the thing's fucked up. If you're that worried about your computer, wait until she's in the bathroom taking a dump or fast asleep and get it and any other important shit together as quickly as possible and put it somewhere she doesn't have access to, like your friend's house. Fix your bank account so that she doesn't have access to it anymore--if it's a joint account then open another account and transfer all the money. Take the checkbook out of her wallet, any credit cards you might be paying for, and her keys to the apartment (and then make an appointment to get the locks changed as soon as possible). Take as many precautionary measures as possible. Then come back and tell her that you're breaking up and that you're willing to drive her to wherever she needs to go for the night, she can pack a few night's worth of stuff and come back for the rest later, when you're there to watch her. And then stand firm no matter what she does. Basically, grow balls, set boundries, and stick to your guns.

And then once you've actually gotten her out of the house, set up an appointment with a therapist so you can figure out why you let yourself get into such a messed up situation, so that you don't get rid of her and then fall right back into it with some other broad.

Originally Posted by Hydelloon

Waiting for nadi to move this to Angst.

You know me so well.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by nadienne

Am I the only one here who noticed that he asked about how to leave and not about how to fix the relationship?

First thing I noticed. I was actually feeling AWFULLY misled by the title of the thread, actually. The thread should be more aptly titled "How I am a weak man who loves WoW too much!"

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He knows the thing's fucked up. If you're that worried about your computer, wait until she's in the bathroom taking a dump or fast asleep and get it and any other important shit together as quickly as possible and put it somewhere she doesn't have access to, like your friend's house. Fix your bank account so that she doesn't have access to it anymore--if it's a joint account then open another account and transfer all the money. Take the checkbook out of her wallet, any credit cards you might be paying for, and her keys to the apartment (and then make an appointment to get the locks changed as soon as possible). Take as many precautionary measures as possible. Then come back and tell her that you're breaking up and that you're willing to drive her to wherever she needs to go for the night, she can pack a few night's worth of stuff and come back for the rest later, when you're there to watch her.

Nadi, can I marry you. <3

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And then stand firm no matter what she does. Basically, grow balls, set boundries, and stick to your guns.

THIS is the key point, dude. All the other shit don't mean SQUAT unless you can stick to your guns.

If not, you're doomed for a MISERABLE relationship. This should actually be a lesson to so many men - I have seen it time and time again. (Women, too). Do not be afraid to break a habit for the sake of sanity and safety!

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And then once you've actually gotten her out of the house, set up an appointment with a therapist so you can figure out why you let yourself get into such a messed up situation, so that you don't get rid of her and then fall right back into it with some other broad.

I don't think its so much the situation as both of these people being THICK. I mean, you have to admit - while he works and earns a living, he's not INNOCENT here.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Nadi, can I marry you. <3

Yes, especially if you're willing to work to help take care of my illegitimate child. >_>

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I don't think its so much the situation as both of these people being THICK. I mean, you have to admit - while he works and earns a living, he's not INNOCENT here.

No, that's what I was saying. It's his fault as much as hers that they've got such a fucked up situation. She couldn't take advantage of him if he didn't let her, and because of that, it's going to be way harder to extricate himself from the situation. Especially since it's clear he hasn't had any cojones for a long time, and they might have shriveled up and disappeared from lack of use. Therapy might help him find his balls again, that's what I meant.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Thanks for the advise, and I knew that it would be harsh, very harsh but it's what I need to hear ^^;

The big thing is, and I know I'm going to be flamed left and right for saying this, but this is my first real relationship. We've been going out for nearly a year now. She is talking about getting married constantly, and aside from doing dishes and cooking once in a while, I get stuck with all the other work when I'm home from work. Other than that, she is extremly verbally abusive, sometimes even when wrestling around she goes out of her way to make sure I'm bruised sometimes. She happens to be an ex-model which is definately causing some problems there because, as nicely as I can put it, she has been and from the way it looks, will be overweight for a very long time, and she takes all of her stress out on me instead of just talking about it, that's why i need to leave.

She has been through seven people before me and I know for a fact that she is taking advantage of me. She's using her ex-boyfriends to point out everything that upsets her, and makes sure I hear about how what I do isn't what a person in a relationship should do, such as:

A family spends every waking minute together. She never wants me to have any privacy what-so-ever. If I am not supose to have some alone time everynow and then, even when it's playing WoW a few hours out of the week, then I'm clearly not ready for any type of relationship right now.

As for the WoW thing, I used to play it for a couple hours every night before I met her, and as far as I know, she hated the idea of me playing games because she thought I'd give her and the baby no time at all. We don't fight over who gets to play the game, as I typically play it when they are both asleep and I can't sleep, it's usually a fight as to when she is playing, I'm constantly looking after her child, and when I play, I still have to look after the baby so she does little to nothing at all.

I love the kid to death, and I'm gonna feel bad for her when I'm not in the picture. It was to my understanding that two people raise a child, not one person, especially when it's not even biologically connected to that person.

Her mother raised her to not be controlled by men, almost to the point where she gets violent, where my mother raised me to not live a life at all and if I didn't listen to her, she guilt tripped me and cried her eyes out...so yeah, I was fucked from the beginning.

This has been a hard leaned lesson, and I'm gonna end up paying big time for it in the end, and I know that. I just hope maybe someone getting into my situation sees this and, unlike me, realizes that if your significant other THREATENS to leave you when you don't buy her things, or something to that extent, let her leave you, you'll be better off.

FELIPE NO

It is reasons like this that I cannot stand WOW! i have lost firends over this idiotic game! Get rid of it please!

But if there is anything that have me curious, how did you two get together in the first place? What attracted you two to eachother?

I can understand her being raised as 'never be controlled by a man' however she is going about it the wrong way, being a couple means working together equally, and you don't control the other. I am a very independent women but my bf and I work together very well, not once have we had a agurement, (I have been grumpy before so he just didn't talk to me and all was good)

So if your missus is as abusive as you say she is... get the hell out, you don't deserve it. You can even say so to her. It is sad that a child is involed too, you may love the kid, but due to the fact that you are not the father and not married means that you would not have any legal rights.

If you want to try to work things out, get rid of the computer and games and get organized, however seeing that she is not the nicest person around, I would just leave... just tell her in the face that you had enough and go. If the love and respect is no longer there, then why should you?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

This situation is all kinds of f-ed up. Sass nailed it, though. You guys seem like twelve-year-olds playing house, not a family. How old is the baby, and how much time does this girl spend with her child on an average day? Do you worry that when you leave, the child will be neglected? Because that's what it sounds like to me.

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Originally Posted by Grail

Thanks for the advise, and I knew that it would be harsh, very harsh but it's what I need to hear ^^;

The big thing is, and I know I'm going to be flamed left and right for saying this, but this is my first real relationship. We've been going out for nearly a year now.

You haven't been "going out." You're telling me you've known her for a year - been an item for a year - and you're living with her, helping her raise her kid, and playing a daddy for her? What are you, stupid? Sorry to be harsh, but especially if you're in your first relationship - didn't your parents tell you anything about this shit? Did your friends warn you?

What made you decide this was a GOOD DECISION?

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She is talking about getting married constantly, and aside from doing dishes and cooking once in a while, I get stuck with all the other work when I'm home from work.

DO NOT - I REPEAT DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMAN. I am sure you don't need to be told, now that you're realizing whats going on here. But I have a feeling she may try to guilt you or literally BEAT you into supression.

You've been together for a year and it's already going to shit. Imagine yourselves in 20 years. YEA. NO.

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Other than that, she is extremly verbally abusive, sometimes even when wrestling around she goes out of her way to make sure I'm bruised sometimes. She happens to be an ex-model which is definately causing some problems there because, as nicely as I can put it, she has been and from the way it looks, will be overweight for a very long time, and she takes all of her stress out on me instead of just talking about it, that's why i need to leave.

Does she shove fried chicken and biscuits down her gullet too? An ex-model heh. Already, I can tell you she's got some psychological problems. I am afraid to ask - where did you meet her.

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She has been through seven people before me and I know for a fact that she is taking advantage of me. She's using her ex-boyfriends to point out everything that upsets her, and makes sure I hear about how what I do isn't what a person in a relationship should do, such as:

A family spends every waking minute together. She never wants me to have any privacy what-so-ever. If I am not supose to have some alone time everynow and then, even when it's playing WoW a few hours out of the week, then I'm clearly not ready for any type of relationship right now.

Then tell her to leave you. Tell her to stop mooching off of you. Tell her she needs to put a bullet in her skull. The woman needs to be hit in the head repeatedly with a basebal bat if she thinks families spend every waking moment together.

Parents SHOULD, however, spend as many "waking moments" with their CHILD, though. I wonder if she does that.

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As for the WoW thing, I used to play it for a couple hours every night before I met her, and as far as I know, she hated the idea of me playing games because she thought I'd give her and the baby no time at all. We don't fight over who gets to play the game, as I typically play it when they are both asleep and I can't sleep, it's usually a fight as to when she is playing, I'm constantly looking after her child, and when I play, I still have to look after the baby so she does little to nothing at all.

You need to get WoW out of your life for now, dude. Woman or no woman, it's not healthy to play it a whole lot. A few nights a week for a couple hours I can understand, but if you're fighting over the goddamned thing, remove it. It's clear neither of you are adult enough to deal with it now.

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I love the kid to death, and I'm gonna feel bad for her when I'm not in the picture. It was to my understanding that two people raise a child, not one person, especially when it's not even biologically connected to that person.

Yea, well. You should have thought about that. Don't let her manipulate you into staying for the child, though. I am sure your morals dictate that you should stay for the kid, but I've never been of the mindset to agree to that sort of thing.

But then, you signed up for it. You've made your bed, kiddo.

Where's the father, anyways? Shouldn't she be collecting child support from him??

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Her mother raised her to not be controlled by men, almost to the point where she gets violent, where my mother raised me to not live a life at all and if I didn't listen to her, she guilt tripped me and cried her eyes out...so yeah, I was fucked from the beginning.

Beware female guilt trips. Don't let them control you with tears. Just like they can fake orgasms, they can fake tears too.

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This has been a hard leaned lesson, and I'm gonna end up paying big time for it in the end, and I know that. I just hope maybe someone getting into my situation sees this and, unlike me, realizes that if your significant other THREATENS to leave you when you don't buy her things, or something to that extent, let her leave you, you'll be better off.

Don't "let her leave you." Are you insane? She'll never leave - ESPECIALLY if you keep helping her avoid her responsibilities (like work and cooking and cleaning)

GIVE HER A REASON TO GET OFF HER LAZY ASS.

Man. You made a mistake in making this your first relationship. Seriously - no one WARNED you?? O_O

There's nowhere I can't reach.

lmao. I can
t beliewve WOW is a problem in this picture. Its just a game. Throw it away for now and fix your life. Play when you have a self-managing, passive business empire.

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I really wouldn't know what to say in that situation, cause that does sound really touchy. however, it might be best to possibly suggest counselling and if she doesn't listen to reason, you might want to call someone about that, possibly child services. because it's tecnhically not your child, you still want to do what you can for the child's best interests

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Grail, you have some serious problems that you need to take care of before worrying about the baby and your girlfriend. First of all, you have some serious priority issues. How much money do you regularly maintain in savings for "just-in-case" or mere pleasure spending? Not very much, right? Is your job sufficient enough to support this lifestyle? Probably not. I'm not looking for exact amounts, but immediately I can tell you don't know what you're doing. And soon enough, you can find yourself kissing that POS computer goodbye, as well as all of your other belongings.

So, in hopes you're a person of diligence who has some discipline to change his ways, GFF will try to help you. At least I will. At this moment, I'm pretty much going to ignore what everyone else has already posted and let you read what I think. I've read some of the earlier posts of course and many of them express my exact thoughts.

First off, your relationship. You can probably maintain your desires and lifestyle a little bit better if you didn't have to worry about a woman and her child. So, do you love this woman, still? Enough to want to take care of her? Or are you suddenly feeling some degree of hate and regret? If you don't have any feeling for this woman and the problems that come with her, get rid of her. Drive her to her parents' place, friend, or other relative. Somewhere away from you. If you're married, well, divorce may cost $300-$500, but it could be well worth it later on. Get rid of her and you'll find yourself buying better computers, more games, and a level 60 whatever in WoW.

If you still want to be with this woman, then you need to start quitting some of the things you currently are (obviously) addicted to. For one, cancel your WoW account ENTIRELY or moderate your playing times. Maybe you think you can continue to afford it, so play less of it than usual. Maybe you need that extra time and $15 dollars each month, get rid of it completely. Even sell your account or software.

Next, take control dude. Be the man of the house. Married or not, you hold dominance as the sole reason she can continue living how she does. As carefree and aimless as your girlfriend seems, she needs to get a clue that without you, what's she got left? You don't like constant annoying complaints, an overdose in responsibilities, and the hogging of your prized possession? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MAN. Of course, you don't have to go about it harshly, sparks flying, and anger. I suggest you calmly talk to her about it, as best as possible. Explain the crisis, the situation, debt, whatever. Get her attention and persuade her to see why you think A, B, C, and D are so important of points.

You're both adults, yet, one acts like a child and the other acts like a slave. What a life, right? Seeing as your inital post initially asks to get out of such relationships, I suggest you start taking action to get rid of her. Start looking up stuff like info on her relatives and friends. Dump her there, say good bye. It may seem mean, cruel, harsh, bully-like, but what you want is obviously what's more important to you. Who can argue with that?

Grail, you have some serious problems that you need to take care of before worrying about the baby and your girlfriend. First of all, you have some serious priority issues. How much money do you regularly maintain in savings for "just-in-case" or mere pleasure spending? Not very much, right? Is your job sufficient enough to support this lifestyle? Probably not. I'm not looking for exact amounts, but immediately I can tell you don't know what you're doing. And soon enough, you can find yourself kissing that POS computer goodbye, as well as all of your other belongings.

So, in hopes you're a person of diligence who has some discipline to change his ways, GFF will try to help you. At least I will. At this moment, I'm pretty much going to ignore what everyone else has already posted and let you read what I think. I've read some of the earlier posts of course and many of them express my exact thoughts.

First off, your relationship. You can probably maintain your desires and lifestyle a little bit better if you didn't have to worry about a woman and her child. So, do you love this woman, still? Enough to want to take care of her? Or are you suddenly feeling some degree of hate and regret? If you don't have any feeling for this woman and the problems that come with her, get rid of her. Drive her to her parents' place, friend, or other relative. Somewhere away from you. If you're married, well, divorce may cost $300-$500, but it could be well worth it later on. Get rid of her and you'll find yourself buying better computers, more games, and a level 60 whatever in WoW.

If you still want to be with this woman, then you need to start quitting some of the things you currently are (obviously) addicted to. For one, cancel your WoW account ENTIRELY or moderate your playing times. Maybe you think you can continue to afford it, so play less of it than usual. Maybe you need that extra time and $15 dollars each month, get rid of it completely. Even sell your account or software.

Next, take control dude. Be the man of the house. Married or not, you hold dominance as the sole reason she can continue living how she does. As carefree and aimless as your girlfriend seems, she needs to get a clue that without you, what's she got left? You don't like constant annoying complaints, an overdose in responsibilities, and the hogging of your prized possession? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MAN. Of course, you don't have to go about it harshly, sparks flying, and anger. I suggest you calmly talk to her about it, as best as possible. Explain the crisis, the situation, debt, whatever. Get her attention and persuade her to see why you think A, B, C, and D are so important of points.

You're both adults, yet, one acts like a child and the other acts like a slave. What a life, right? Seeing as your inital post initially asks to get out of such relationships, I suggest you start taking action to get rid of her. Start looking up stuff like info on her relatives and friends. Dump her there, say good bye. It may seem mean, cruel, harsh, bully-like, but what you want is obviously what's more important to you. Who can argue with that?

Grail, you have some serious problems that you need to take care of before worrying about the baby and your girlfriend. First of all, you have some serious priority issues. How much money do you regularly maintain in savings for "just-in-case" or mere pleasure spending? Not very much, right? Is your job sufficient enough to support this lifestyle? Probably not. I'm not looking for exact amounts, but immediately I can tell you don't know what you're doing. And soon enough, you can find yourself kissing that POS computer goodbye, as well as all of your other belongings.

So, in hopes you're a person of diligence who has some discipline to change his ways, GFF will try to help you. At least I will. At this moment, I'm pretty much going to ignore what everyone else has already posted and let you read what I think. I've read some of the earlier posts of course and many of them express my exact thoughts.

First off, your relationship. You can probably maintain your desires and lifestyle a little bit better if you didn't have to worry about a woman and her child. So, do you love this woman, still? Enough to want to take care of her? Or are you suddenly feeling some degree of hate and regret? If you don't have any feeling for this woman and the problems that come with her, get rid of her. Drive her to her parents' place, friend, or other relative. Somewhere away from you. If you're married, well, divorce may cost $300-$500, but it could be well worth it later on. Get rid of her and you'll find yourself buying better computers, more games, and a level 60 whatever in WoW.

If you still want to be with this woman, then you need to start quitting some of the things you currently are (obviously) addicted to. For one, cancel your WoW account ENTIRELY or moderate your playing times. Maybe you think you can continue to afford it, so play less of it than usual. Maybe you need that extra time and $15 dollars each month, get rid of it completely. Even sell your account or software.

Next, take control dude. Be the man of the house. Married or not, you hold dominance as the sole reason she can continue living how she does. As carefree and aimless as your girlfriend seems, she needs to get a clue that without you, what's she got left? You don't like constant annoying complaints, an overdose in responsibilities, and the hogging of your prized possession? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MAN. Of course, you don't have to go about it harshly, sparks flying, and anger. I suggest you calmly talk to her about it, as best as possible. Explain the crisis, the situation, debt, whatever. Get her attention and persuade her to see why you think A, B, C, and D are so important of points.

You're both adults, yet, one acts like a child and the other acts like a slave. What a life, right? Seeing as your inital post initially asks to get out of such relationships, I suggest you start taking action to get rid of her. Start looking up stuff like info on her relatives and friends. Dump her there, say good bye. It may seem mean, cruel, harsh, bully-like, but what you want is obviously what's more important to you. Who can argue with that?

Grail, you have some serious problems that you need to take care of before worrying about the baby and your girlfriend. First of all, you have some serious priority issues. How much money do you regularly maintain in savings for "just-in-case" or mere pleasure spending? Not very much, right? Is your job sufficient enough to support this lifestyle? Probably not. I'm not looking for exact amounts, but immediately I can tell you don't know what you're doing. And soon enough, you can find yourself kissing that POS computer goodbye, as well as all of your other belongings.

So, in hopes you're a person of diligence who has some discipline to change his ways, GFF will try to help you. At least I will. At this moment, I'm pretty much going to ignore what everyone else has already posted and let you read what I think. I've read some of the earlier posts of course and many of them express my exact thoughts.

First off, your relationship. You can probably maintain your desires and lifestyle a little bit better if you didn't have to worry about a woman and her child. So, do you love this woman, still? Enough to want to take care of her? Or are you suddenly feeling some degree of hate and regret? If you don't have any feeling for this woman and the problems that come with her, get rid of her. Drive her to her parents' place, friend, or other relative. Somewhere away from you. If you're married, well, divorce may cost $300-$500, but it could be well worth it later on. Get rid of her and you'll find yourself buying better computers, more games, and a level 60 whatever in WoW.

If you still want to be with this woman, then you need to start quitting some of the things you currently are (obviously) addicted to. For one, cancel your WoW account ENTIRELY or moderate your playing times. Maybe you think you can continue to afford it, so play less of it than usual. Maybe you need that extra time and $15 dollars each month, get rid of it completely. Even sell your account or software.

Next, take control dude. Be the man of the house. Married or not, you hold dominance as the sole reason she can continue living how she does. As carefree and aimless as your girlfriend seems, she needs to get a clue that without you, what's she got left? You don't like constant annoying complaints, an overdose in responsibilities, and the hogging of your prized possession? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MAN. Of course, you don't have to go about it harshly, sparks flying, and anger. I suggest you calmly talk to her about it, as best as possible. Explain the crisis, the situation, debt, whatever. Get her attention and persuade her to see why you think A, B, C, and D are so important of points.

You're both adults, yet, one acts like a child and the other acts like a slave. What a life, right? Seeing as your inital post initially asks to get out of such relationships, I suggest you start taking action to get rid of her. Start looking up stuff like info on her relatives and friends. Dump her there, say good bye. It may seem mean, cruel, harsh, bully-like, but what you want is obviously what's more important to you. Who can argue with that?

Grail, you have some serious problems that you need to take care of before worrying about the baby and your girlfriend. First of all, you have some serious priority issues. How much money do you regularly maintain in savings for "just-in-case" or mere pleasure spending? Not very much, right? Is your job sufficient enough to support this lifestyle? Probably not. I'm not looking for exact amounts, but immediately I can tell you don't know what you're doing. And soon enough, you can find yourself kissing that POS computer goodbye, as well as all of your other belongings.

So, in hopes you're a person of diligence who has some discipline to change his ways, GFF will try to help you. At least I will. At this moment, I'm pretty much going to ignore what everyone else has already posted and let you read what I think. I've read some of the earlier posts of course and many of them express my exact thoughts.

First off, your relationship. You can probably maintain your desires and lifestyle a little bit better if you didn't have to worry about a woman and her child. So, do you love this woman, still? Enough to want to take care of her? Or are you suddenly feeling some degree of hate and regret? If you don't have any feeling for this woman and the problems that come with her, get rid of her. Drive her to her parents' place, friend, or other relative. Somewhere away from you. If you're married, well, divorce may cost $300-$500, but it could be well worth it later on. Get rid of her and you'll find yourself buying better computers, more games, and a level 60 whatever in WoW.

If you still want to be with this woman, then you need to start quitting some of the things you currently are (obviously) addicted to. For one, cancel your WoW account ENTIRELY or moderate your playing times. Maybe you think you can continue to afford it, so play less of it than usual. Maybe you need that extra time and $15 dollars each month, get rid of it completely. Even sell your account or software.

Next, take control dude. Be the man of the house. Married or not, you hold dominance as the sole reason she can continue living how she does. As carefree and aimless as your girlfriend seems, she needs to get a clue that without you, what's she got left? You don't like constant annoying complaints, an overdose in responsibilities, and the hogging of your prized possession? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MAN. Of course, you don't have to go about it harshly, sparks flying, and anger. I suggest you calmly talk to her about it, as best as possible. Explain the crisis, the situation, debt, whatever. Get her attention and persuade her to see why you think A, B, C, and D are so important of points.

You're both adults, yet, one acts like a child and the other acts like a slave. What a life, right? Seeing as your inital post initially asks to get out of such relationships, I suggest you start taking action to get rid of her. Start looking up stuff like info on her relatives and friends. Dump her there, say good bye. It may seem mean, cruel, harsh, bully-like, but what you want is obviously what's more important to you. Who can argue with that?

Grail, you have some serious problems that you need to take care of before worrying about the baby and your girlfriend. First of all, you have some serious priority issues. How much money do you regularly maintain in savings for "just-in-case" or mere pleasure spending? Not very much, right? Is your job sufficient enough to support this lifestyle? Probably not. I'm not looking for exact amounts, but immediately I can tell you don't know what you're doing. And soon enough, you can find yourself kissing that POS computer goodbye, as well as all of your other belongings.

So, in hopes you're a person of diligence who has some discipline to change his ways, GFF will try to help you. At least I will. At this moment, I'm pretty much going to ignore what everyone else has already posted and let you read what I think. I've read some of the earlier posts of course and many of them express my exact thoughts.

First off, your relationship. You can probably maintain your desires and lifestyle a little bit better if you didn't have to worry about a woman and her child. So, do you love this woman, still? Enough to want to take care of her? Or are you suddenly feeling some degree of hate and regret? If you don't have any feeling for this woman and the problems that come with her, get rid of her. Drive her to her parents' place, friend, or other relative. Somewhere away from you. If you're married, well, divorce may cost $300-$500, but it could be well worth it later on. Get rid of her and you'll find yourself buying better computers, more games, and a level 60 whatever in WoW.

If you still want to be with this woman, then you need to start quitting some of the things you currently are (obviously) addicted to. For one, cancel your WoW account ENTIRELY or moderate your playing times. Maybe you think you can continue to afford it, so play less of it than usual. Maybe you need that extra time and $15 dollars each month, get rid of it completely. Even sell your account or software.

Next, take control dude. Be the man of the house. Married or not, you hold dominance as the sole reason she can continue living how she does. As carefree and aimless as your girlfriend seems, she needs to get a clue that without you, what's she got left? You don't like constant annoying complaints, an overdose in responsibilities, and the hogging of your prized possession? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MAN. Of course, you don't have to go about it harshly, sparks flying, and anger. I suggest you calmly talk to her about it, as best as possible. Explain the crisis, the situation, debt, whatever. Get her attention and persuade her to see why you think A, B, C, and D are so important of points.

You're both adults, yet, one acts like a child and the other acts like a slave. What a life, right? Seeing as your inital post initially asks to get out of such relationships, I suggest you start taking action to get rid of her. Start looking up stuff like info on her relatives and friends. Dump her there, say good bye. It may seem mean, cruel, harsh, bully-like, but what you want is obviously what's more important to you. Who can argue with that?

I was speaking idiomatically.

You know, all this time I'm wondering. Is she even good at WoW? Char? Level? What about you? From what I'm hearing you better fucking be epic'd out.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Devoxy

Also consider talking to her relatives about how she spends her time. If her family gives a shit about that kid, I'd doubt they'd be happy about their grandkid/nephew being neglected by his own mother so she can play video games.

Devo brings up something interesting here. How old are you kids? What do your parents have to say, if anything?

It's a really bizarro situation - if this is your first relationship Grail, where are your parents at? What do THEY have to say about all of this? Surely, neither side must have very thrilled parents.

FELIPE NO

Seeing as this is your first relationship, you did too much, too soon, too fast.

Quote:

A family spends every waking minute together. She never wants me to have any privacy what-so-ever. If I am not supose to have some alone time everynow and then, even when it's playing WoW a few hours out of the week, then I'm clearly not ready for any type of relationship right now.

I don't know where you got this idea, but that's a load of crap. I consider myself as being raised in a healthy family structure, and we still had independent lives and we always respected a level of privacy for one another. The only times when privacy had to be breached were the cases where we felt that it was for the good of our family member. The exception, of course, is raising a child but I consider this to be obvious.

Yeah, its good to spend a lot of time with someone you are in a relationship with, but you do it because you want to do it and you enjoy the time spent, not because you feel like you have to be glued together at the hip.

Quote:

Her mother raised her to not be controlled by men, almost to the point where she gets violent, where my mother raised me to not live a life at all and if I didn't listen to her, she guilt tripped me and cried her eyes out...so yeah, I was fucked from the beginning.

Explaining away your current situation by saying "well, we were just raised to be this way, so we're fucked" is just a bullshit rationalization to try to convince yourself in retrospect that it was inevitable. You know its wrong and its fucked, so do something about it. Out of respect for yourself, you should be saying "This relationship is a fucking shit sandwich, and I'm going to get the fuck out of it." You need to take control of yourself and act for your own benefit. You should be angry.

She's a selfish, abusive, controlling, dysfunctional human being. You need to get pissed off, say "fuck her", and walk away.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Chibi Neko

It is reasons like this that I cannot stand WOW! i have lost firends over this idiotic game! Get rid of it please!

Not to mention I've seen at least 5 people flunked out first year of university. And yes, a break to sort out your life IS VERY RATIONAL, SMART THING TO DO... (so for goodness sake please do so and take some break/fun time another way).

Ok ok, yes first relationships (especialy deep ones) are hard to get out of but like others have said, get some guts and deliver her the message (and not in a itsy voice). If she wants to live like a princess then tell her fine, but HELL NOT WITH YOU. Wait, in fact YELL your fustration to her instead of posting any more of this. If she's using her past relationships to point out things that she dosn't like that you've done or what not, then outright tell her that, that is you and to take it or leave it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.