Religon in Dating

Originally Posted by Minion

You could say "nondenominational" or as CS Lewis puts it, "mere" Christianity. Saying orthodox really is confusing.

Sorry, but I prefer to use the proper terminology. =p
Read G.K. Chesterton's book "Orthodoxy." Granted, it is a bit more of a Catholic bent, but it is still a good and insightful read.
The thing about "nondenominational" is that, for example, the Unitarians claim to be Christian, but they most certainly are not. I don't think I could put up with someone who believes in so much relativism and new-age mumbo jumbo, not to mention theologically unsound ideas. This is why I say orthodox... to separate those who are doctrinally sound from those who are not.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Well, that's what nondenominational means. Your doctrine is the Bible. Simple.

How ya doing, buddy?

Quote:

Well, that's what nondenominational means. Your doctrine is the Bible. Simple.

A Bible that was compiled to represent and support specific doctrines while neglecting others, I might add. That's one thing that gets me about Christians. They depend on the Bible as if it's the origin of doctrines, but neglect to mention that the scripture which makes up the NT was chosen by those who were the majority denomination at the time (and became majority, I might add, by means of killing off the followers of other denominations and destroying the gospel/scriptures they used). Let's not pretend the NT compilation is an unbiased account of the history of Jesus.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Uh, they were the only denomination at the time. It was about 300 AD. Plus, it's not like they wrote the book, they just anthologized other books that had been written a couple hundred years ago.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Quote:

Uh, they were the only denomination at the time. It was about 300 AD. Plus, it's not like they wrote the book, they just anthologized other books that had been written a couple hundred years ago.

No they weren't. There were lots and lots of various sects of Christianity after His death, each with their own interpretations on His life and His purpose here, etc. Check out the book "The Gnostic Gospels" by Elaine Pagels. What we call "denominations" today are baby-step differences compared to the differences between demoninations that existed after His death.

FELIPE NO

I can't see myself marrying someone who is a devout (insert Western religion here), but dating someone casually would be fine. I've had bad experiences with Christians, mostly those who push their beliefs onto me, and I find that disrespectful, especially when I make a polite point across that I appreciate their thoughts but no thanks. I believe Muslims are the same with evanglical preachings. To date a devout will definitely not work out with me since we can't even have a firm standing to being with.

With raising kids on the matter, I would prefer my children be raised without pushing one particular religion towards them, simply because I want them to be open-minded about everything.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I've run into this one head first the past couple of years. My fiancee is a "stated" Jehovah's Witness (as in she says she's one but doesn't really practice many/any of their beliefs) and I'm a Catholic. Now I'm not as devout or religious as I "should" (read: I don't go to mass that often) be but I do practice/follow most of our beliefs.

Over the course of our relationship we've had a few discussions in regard to our children's religions and upbringing and the result is something like a tolerant neutrality although I think I'd be more comfortable with them being Catholic also. But that's their choice.

So my answer is still it makes no difference in my dating but I admit that differing religious views is one of the biggest killers of relationships.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

It is important to me - if my b/f kept putting down my religion i'd be pretty pissed b/c religion is such an intergral part of my life (so important that I would miss an annual Range Competition to go to church..haha).

On a more serious note, I guess if you share a faith you can pray for one another and come to understand one another on a deeper level (spiritual level). Not only can you discuss and help one another through daily problems but also kinks in your spiritual life. One sunday school teacher discribed love as a triangle. God is on one vertice, you one one and your significant other on the other - the closer you move toward God, the closer you move toward one another.... or something like that.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

If it isn't a long-term thing, then I don't think it really matters. However, in choosing someone to marry I would want a person who believes in the fundamentals of Christianity. I wouldn't be able to stand someone who over spiritualizes everything. If you're constantly relating every situation to God,(which is what the church encourages) then it leads me to believe that you can't think for yourself; and personally, I place high value on being able to make your own decisions without being heavily influenced by other people. In a nutshell, I wouldn't want to get into a long-term relationship with someone who lets the church run their life for them.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Slash

Me, personally, don't see the big deal. As long as its not one of those, as soon as we become serious you must believe in everything I do. I acknowledge there being a higher power(s) but I don't believe in the whole "if you don't do this you will die" type of stuff.

I totally agree.

To some people, having the same religion may be a big deal and something important; but to me, personally, I don't see it as that big of the deal. You're being with the person because you love him/her, regardless what religion the person that you're with believes in, if it made the person the way he/she is and you like it, well... You can't suppose it's something bad, right?
What's more important is that both people in a relationship should respect what the other believes in, and be understanding. Do not try to deny the other's religion in front of his/her face, because it'll only show that you're close-minded. Just be understanding that if there are different cultures in this world, then there must be different religions and beliefs and tales in this world. Others may not believe in the same thing as you do, because they may be born and brought up in a different country and culture.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Minion

Plus, it's not like they wrote the book, they just anthologized other books that had been written a couple hundred years ago.

Yeah. They anthologized selectively, leaving out any books which didn't agree with their own viewpoints. In other words, the bible leaves out as much as it includes in terms of good quality writing about Jesus and early Christians.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I don't see a problem with dating someone of a different religion. It's marriage that can make things complicated (as I'm sure many of you have stated before). You have to choose a religion to follow, just one. By allowing each spouse to keep his/her religion, if you plan on having any kids this is where the problem lies. Which religion do you raise you son/daughter under?

And then there's complication with family: "Why did you turn Christian?" "Why did you turn Jewish" etc.


Dating is fine really. My friend (a Catholic) is dating one of my female friends (Jewish). They schedule all their plans on Friday (Saturday and Sunday are obvious) and sometimes my friend forgets the whole kosher thing. *Shrug* He wants to marry the girl though (in the future...sometime), and I have no idea how that will work out. More power to them though.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Watts

Just as long as she isn't trying to convert me, or isn't trying to exterminate the Jews or something. I can't see any real problems. I'm open-minded enough to respect another person's religious practices.

Good point. In fact, that's exactly what I was thinking... I'm not a religious man (in orkut-talking, I have a spiritual side independent of relligions) either, but I do respect people who are, as long as they're not fanatic and they don't try to convert my... soul.

Love is, in my opinion, way above those matters. And the society's opinion about who I'm dating and/or about my preferences is, sincerely, nothing.

No one will tell this guy here who I'm supposed to date, what political party I'm supposed to follow or what religion I'm supposed to profess.



FELIPE NO

I'm atheist and my girlfriend is Catholic. It doesn't bother me that she goes to church and prays every night, and it's never been an issue that I don't do the same.
I voted that I would, 'yes,' date someone outside of my religion, because I obviously do. That said, I can see that in many cases, where it is a major issue for either partner, it could create a severe rift in the relationship.
But as it stands for me, my girlfriend has said that she knows that I am an intelligent person and respects my ability to come to my own conclusions. She has yet to try and force (or even suggest) her beliefs on me. I'd be lying if I said I don't think about how this will progress as we get older, but I'm also not worried.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The original question refers to dating, not serious relationships... so I'd say YES.

Religion isn't a problem to me, if the guy is religious that's okay, as long as it's not a fanatic. Seriously, I have a classmate in college who's from something called "Evangelist church" and the way he put it: evangelists *have* to try to convert everyone to their religion. Don't countries have a law against that?

I wouldn't know about the raising children thing, though... My father was Roman catholic and my mother Greek orthodox; me and my brothers weren't forced to believe in either religion as we were growing up. Could that be a solution good enough for everyone?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

:doh: Didn't see the "doesn't matter" option before hitting "yes".

Anyway, as an atheist, it's 99% likely that anyone I date will be not share my religious beliefs.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

It may be a rather black-and-white way of looking at things, but I believe that either you're devout, or you're not religious at all. One thing that's always bugged me has been half-assed Christians, etc. So I wouldn't go out with someone who "casually" follows a faith, because I don't believe in such a thing.

I also think a big part of religion is the way you think. Talking to an idealistic Christian when I'm a cynical Nontheist is pretty difficult, because our thought processes are so different. For that reason, I'd probably never go out with someone who's really into a religion.

So, considering both those cases, I think it's safe that I'd never date outside my faith - which is actually the lack of one. Go figure.

Edit: Shit, the poll confused me. I should have voted "yes". =/

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I agree with Lee-chan on those casual believers. They seem to take a pretty convenient approach to something one should either take seriously or just leave alone. It also says a lot about what kind of commitment such a person is willing to make to a supposely large aspect of her personal life.

Now, since I'm an atheist, I'm not getting along very will with all-out believers (at least not on such an intimate level) and I have to say, I'd really prefer a partner who shares my profound disbelieve instead of someone with the aforementioned "commitment issues".

So it's "no" for me here and I might add that I'm speaking out of varried expierences.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

That someone isn't a religious fanatic doesn't mean they have commitment issues, Cyrus. :S Without "casual believers" there'd be much more confrontation between people of different religions.

If everyone was so serious about religion, every country would be like Iran!

How ya doing, buddy?

I voted yes mostly because my girlfriend is a Christian. She's not devout, but she does go to church occasionally and has a love for Jesus and God. However she's not very strict and definitely seems to have an anti-thesis of what the Bible says and such. She hasn't tried putting her views on to me, mostly that it should be my decision and that it wouldn't be me to begin with.

I'm an atheist, so religion has no part of me. I have an interest it, all of them including Christianity, though most of the beliefs that the religion and others have don't interest me, or I just pick and choose what I want.

As far as concerning kids, if I have them with her, I'd like our kids to choose their religion. If they want to be Christians, fine. Buddahists. OK. Satanists, that's fine. Whatever they want to believe in and makes them happy. If they do become Christian, and perhaps more devout than my girlfriend, and they accuse me of being a heathen, so be it. Though it would hurt to have your own kids not love you for that reason, or disown you.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Umma

That someone isn't a religious fanatic doesn't mean they have commitment issues, Cyrus. :S Without "casual believers" there'd be much more confrontation between people of different religions.

If everyone was so serious about religion, every country would be like Iran!

I believe that there's a difference between practicing your beliefs to "sufficient" extent and being radical. I think it's like difference between a person who's pro-life but doesn't do anything, a person who's pro-life, keeps up with the issues and votes, and a person who's pro-life and blows up their local abortion clinic.

Also, while I'm not too familiar with some religions, a lot of them do preach religious tolerance. While evangelism is a part of Christianity, I think I remember verses that talk about leaving staunch non-believers to their fates, or something to that effect. I also think that the Koran encourages tolerance (to the "People of the Book" at the very least). But then again, I'm no expert on these things... =/

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Lee-chan

I believe that there's a difference between practicing your beliefs to "sufficient" extent and being radical.

Well, if you're seeing someone who's religious to "sufficient extent" then it's likely that person will disagree with you very much if you don't believe in the same things. I don't want THAT kind of world.

Besides... *who* says where's the line of your "sufficient extent"? To the fanatics *that* is sufficient, so it's for those casual believers. It might not be too easy to define... don't you think?

As for the tolerance thing... the Qu'ran might encourage it... but where do you see it in practice? Oh, I just imagine, what if I were to date a muslim guy? No, wait. That would never happen! I'd have to be muslim myself! @_@

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by The Dopefish

Anyway, as an atheist, it's 99% likely that anyone I date will be not share my religious beliefs.

I don't understand why you would say this. I think if you looked, you'd find a lot of people who are atheists - especially in our region up here in GREEN NEW ENGLAND.

I also think that if you really find yourself having a hard time finding someone who shares your belief, you're EXTREMELY likely to find someone who just "doesn't care," or finds that "it doesn't matter."

Most amazing jew boots

I completely disagree with everything Alice said here. People can still believe in God and Christianity and follow his teachings without preaching their beliefs to others. Not everything set down in the Bible needs to be followed for someone to be a good Christian. It says, in the Old Testament, that sacrifices should be made. How many of you "good Christians" do this? I hope to hell none of you do. Times change. People change. No one wants beliefs pushed on them. Let them choose their own damn religion. Besides, some of the worst exploits in the history of the world involve evangelism.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I wouldn't care what religion my girl was really. I'm kinda agnostic myself. The problem comes when other religions act xenophobic towards every other belief on the planet.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.