[Movie] Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Originally Posted by Bradylama

outs President Obama for being a Decepticon sympathizer.

What in the sam hell are you even talking about? The only thing I heard about Obama is that he was in a bunker in the middle of the country.

And even so...who the hell cares? Obama could have been a outed as a man that's actually a decepticon in desguise and I woudln't have given too shits. High standards or not, but if you start taking a movie about giant robots THIS SERIOUSLY then I feel sorry for you.

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Grail if you laughed at the truck nutz, so help me God...

To be honest I didn't even notice em. I think there was a line in there about em, but I think I missed it.

Even so, god forbid a movie based on toys woudln't have the same humor you would see in a Ren and Stimpy cartoon. Seriously Brady, was your inner child raped, beaten and then had its throat slit when you hit adult-hood? You take it as potty humor, or any humor that isn't UPRIGHT AND POLITICALLY CORRECT as the devil sometimes.

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You are the dumbest motherfucker alive.

You can have a summer blockbuster that's not a rotting, festering pile of dog shit. Going in expecting the worst, and then getting the worst, doesn't mean it was "fine". It has nothing to do with mysterious standards. There is nothing about a status quo or whatnot either.

It has to do with subjecting yourself to bullshit and then thinking "well at least I wasn't raped by an 80 year old man with PVC pipe so it's all good" is an ok train of thought.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Haha, yeah, because I'm white that means that I should be okay with giant robots that stereotype blacks as dumb ghetto niggers.

You know what the last movie I watched and enjoyed was? Dragonball. It wasn't good particularly, but it had a plot and some good moments that were worth the price of admission.

It is not hard to make a decent movie. It's also fairly simple to make a bad movie that isn't sexist, racist, etc.,

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Colonel Skills

You can have a summer blockbuster that's not a rotting, festering pile of dog shit. Going in expecting the worst, and then getting the worst, doesn't mean it was "fine". It has nothing to do with mysterious standards. There is nothing about a status quo or whatnot either.

Again, when was the last time there was a summer blockbuster that people didn't go "OH shit not this tired crap again"? I didn't go in expecting the worst. I went in saying "Hey, this is a movie about giant robots blowing shit up, and I'm sure the plot, as thin as it will be, will revolve around something fucking shit up"

And hey, I got what I was expecting. I just don't understand why people are taking a Michael Bay film so seriously. This isn't the worst thing that has come out this summer, and honest to god...I think G.I. Joe is going to be fucking horrible.

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It has to do with subjecting yourself to bullshit and then thinking "well at least I wasn't raped by an 80 year old man with PVC pipe so it's all good" is an ok train of thought.

I could understand this if you were going in to see this movie thinking it was going to be great, and fantastic, and coming out of it saying "Holy shit my ass hurts". But other than that...why subjugate yourself to that sort of abuse if you know full well what will happen when you see a movie you already know you'll hate?

I just don't see how I'm a dumbass because I paid six dollars to see a movie about giant robots blowing shit up, instead of paying six dollars to see a jack black movie, or will 'I apparently am a god' ferrell movie.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Grail

What in the sam hell are you even talking about? The only thing I heard about Obama is that he was in a bunker in the middle of the country.

And even so...who the hell cares? Obama could have been a outed as a man that's actually a decepticon in desguise and I woudln't have given too shits. High standards or not, but if you start taking a movie about giant robots THIS SERIOUSLY then I feel sorry for you.

There is no point in identifying the president as Obama unless Bay wanted to make a statement about him, which he did by implying that Obama would be willing to negotiate with the Decepticons (terrorists).

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Even so, god forbid a movie based on toys woudln't have the same humor you would see in a Ren and Stimpy cartoon. Seriously Brady, was your inner child raped, beaten and then had its throat slit when you hit adult-hood? You take it as potty humor, or any humor that isn't UPRIGHT AND POLITICALLY CORRECT as the devil sometimes.

The movie has giant robots that constantly talk about pussy and bitches. What part of that is supposed to appeal to my inner child? I was fairly misogynistic back in High School, but that doesn't mean I want something to appeal to a me that was dumb as shit.

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How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Grail

Again, when was the last time there was a summer blockbuster that people didn't go "OH shit not this tired crap again"?

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Bradylama

You know what the last movie I watched and enjoyed was? Dragonball. It wasn't good particularly, but it had a plot and some good moments that were worth the price of admission.

And I agree with you one hundred percent on that. Even though I'm sure I was STILL called a dumbass for liking Dragonball.

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It is not hard to make a decent movie. It's also fairly simple to make a bad movie that isn't sexist, racist, etc.,

Thing is, I don't openly look for anything that is sexist or racist. I mean look at the movie Friday. Stereotypes and racism abound in that movie, but does it make it alright because it starred a black man? Even then I didn't even look at the movie as racist, and I still don't to this day.

Star Trek was an excellent movie, I'll agree. But again, I'm still a dumbass for liking that movie by everyone who hated that Star Trek movie. So can we all agree that we all are dumbasses and move on?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I didn't like that Star Trek movie at all, but apparently you're missing the combined point.

There's a line crossed somewhere about four miles back, where taste ceases to be an issue, and ignorance becomes the new cool.

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Thing is, I don't openly look for anything that is sexist or racist. I mean look at the movie Friday. Stereotypes and racism abound in that movie, but does it make it alright because it starred a black man? Even then I didn't even look at the movie as racist, and I still don't to this day.

Friday was a film directed by African American director F. Gary Gray about black men starring black people and targeted at black people.

Transformers 2 is a film directed by white director Michael Bay about robots starring robots and targeted at teenagers.

If you can't see the difference then you truly are retarded.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Grail

Thing is, I don't openly look for anything that is sexist or racist. I mean look at the movie Friday. Stereotypes and racism abound in that movie, but does it make it alright because it starred a black man? Even then I didn't even look at the movie as racist, and I still don't to this day.

Friday was about surviving hood life and poking fun at the kind of characters that inhabit the community. It wasn't a fucking minstrel show. You are a dumbass.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by sprouticus

Friday was a film directed by African American director F. Gary Gray about black men starring black people and targeted at black people.

Transformers 2 is a film directed by white director Michael Bay about robots starring robots and targeted at teenagers.

If you can't see the difference then you truly are retarded.

I can see the difference easily. All you're saying is that racism is perfectly fine in any media as long as the director, the stars of the movie, and the target audience belong to the same race that the racism in said movie targets.

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Originally Posted by Bradylama

Friday was about surviving hood life and poking fun at the kind of characters that inhabit the community. It wasn't a fucking minstrel show. You are a dumbass.

I didn't know that stereotyping 'hood life' and the people that live in a community blatantly wasn't racism. Though if it would have been directed by a white man DOT DOT DOT

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Friday celebrated blacks and didn't use black culture as a comedic foil to be laughed at and ridiculed.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Grail

I can see the difference easily. All you're saying is that racism is perfectly fine in any media as long as the director, the stars of the movie, and the target audience belong to the same race that the racism in said movie targets.

Yeah, that's precisely what I'm saying.

On an somewhat related note, who wants to join me in writing angry letters to Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, and Spike Lee for being racist towards black people?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Bradylama

Friday celebrated blacks and didn't use black culture as a comedic foil to be laughed at and ridiculed.

And I don't see black culture as people just walking around day after day wearing chains down to their knees and speaking in ebonics all day long.

This will probably earn me a 'diss' in terms of those little thumbs up in the corner, but I saw the twins as stereotypical white boys trying too damn hard to ACT black instead of just some poor gutter trash ghetto folk.

I just can't see how I'm a dumbass because I didn't go into this movie and systematically picking out everything that was politically incorrect about it. I don't find enjoyment in doing that...so I'm a dumbass.

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black culture

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Grail

I saw the twins as stereotypical white boys trying too damn hard to ACT black instead of just some poor gutter trash ghetto folk.

Yeah because when I see white boys pretending to be black the first thing I hear them jiving about is how they don't read very much.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Bradylama

Friday was about surviving hood life and poking fun at the kind of characters that inhabit the community. It wasn't a fucking minstrel show. You are a dumbass.

See, I'd actually pay money to see a movie that was nothing more than an extended minstrel show. I'd also hope the creators had a point, and that it also wasn't Bamboozled.




WHERE'S MY BLACKFACE PORGY & BESS, DAMMIT.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Bamboozled was a good movie. It's impossible for anybody to do a minstrel show with a point because Bamboozled already did it.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

No it's not, because that was black men in blackface. That's what I'm saying.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

White man in blackface will never happen, let the dream die, brother.

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And yet — and here's the part where I really think ROTF approaches "art movie" status — the movie's id overload reaches such crazy levels that the fabric of reality itself starts to break down. Michael Bay has boasted about how every single shot in the movie has so much stuff going on in it, it would take your PC since the dawn of time to render one frame. After a few hours of this assault, you feel the chair melt and the floor of the movie theater becomes an angry mirror into your soul. Nothing is solid, nothing is real, everything Transforms.

The closest thing I can think of to this movie is the Wachowskis' Speed Racer, which had a similar kind of CG image overload, although it was only five hours long as opposed to ROTF's nine.

And around hour six of ROTF, something curious happens: the two components — male enhancement and pure id — start to clash, badly. Usually, in a summer movie, the two aspects go together like tits and ass: Jason Statham plays someone who faces the same insecurities as regular dudes, but he overcomes them, and in the process he blows up everything in the world. But creating that kind of fusion requires enslaving the id to the male enhancement, and that in turn means only going way over the top instead of crazy, stratospheric over the top. Michael Bay is not willing to settle for going way over the top, like other directors.

So you have a movie that tries to reassure men that they can actually be masters of their reality — but then turns around and says that actually, reality is not real. There's no such thing as the "real world," and the only thing that's left for men to dominate is a nebulous domain of blurred shapes, which occasionally blurt nonsensical swear-words and slang from ethnic groups that have never existed. If you're drowning in an Olympic swimming pool full of hot chewing gum fondue, do you still care if Megan Fox likes you?

So yes, ROTF approaches the sublime, and then just keeps rocketing. Next stop: total anarchy. In a sense, it's the first war movie ever to convey a real sense of the fog of war, the confusion that comes with battle. Somewhere around hour nine, you will understand why friendly fire happens in wartime.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I saw it for $7. It... was worth $7, I guess.

I mean, it was better than the first, but that's not saying a whole lot. I could at least sort of tell which scrap heap was attacking which one when they went into slow-mo mode.

I kinda hope they don't make a third one, but I know that's asking too much. This thing's probably going to make a bajillion dollars. Sigh.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I'm guessing it would be a bad time to admit liking the movie for what it was worth. I honestly didn't care about anything but the robot battles.

I wasn't necessarily fond of most of the humor, and I couldn't give a good god damn about the Autobot twins. I wanted to see it for the robot action so I guess I'm guilty of putting money into this convoluted mess as much as the next person.

You know with movies like this, complaints are always going to come from any possible direction, but I only cared about the robot fighting and at least I got a good 40 minutes of it. I'll admit I got a few good laughs out of the parents, and the interaction between sam and bumblebee when he was at college.

The fight with Optimus Prime and the three Decepticons was my favorite battle scene in the movie. I liked some of the Megatron & Starscream interaction as well.

So to sum it up:

Good robot fighting - Pointless - Pointless - Pointless - A little bit of humor - Pointless - Pointless - Excellent Robot Fighting - Pointless - Pointless - Pointless - Pointless - Pointless - Pointless - Pointless - Completely over the top all over the place robot fighting - Pointless - Pointless.

So yeah, fuck Michael Bay. A man of action, but literally nothing else.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by VitaminZinc

I saw it for $7. It... was worth $7, I guess.

I mean, it was better than the first, but that's not saying a whole lot. I could at least sort of tell which scrap heap was attacking which one when they went into slow-mo mode.

I kinda hope they don't make a third one, but I know that's asking too much. This thing's probably going to make a bajillion dollars. Sigh.

Well now that you've paid 7 bux of course they're going to make a third one.

On the bright side, though, Michael Bay isn't going to do it! He's tired of all the mean movie critics taking massive shits on his successful movies so he doesn't want to do explosions anymore.

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I'm guessing it would be a bad time to admit liking the movie for what it was worth. I honestly didn't care about anything but the robot battles.

The robot battles were shit.

The only thing you cared about is literally terrible.

Michael Bay is a horrible action director. Hot Fuzz was a better film than Bad Boyz could have ever hoped to be.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

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There's nowhere I can't reach.