[Attention] Uwe Boll will stop making movies with 1 million signatures

Uwe Boll Will Quit Making Movies with One Million Signatures | /Film

Quote:

Ladies and Gentleman, we finally have a chance to rid the cinematic world of a cancer. Uwe Boll, the German director behind such horrid video game adaptations as House of the Dead, BloodRayne, Dungeon Siege and Postal, has recently admitted that he would retire from making movies if enough people want him to stop. When FearNet mentioned to Boll a petition online signed by 18,000 people requesting that he cease making films, Boll responded that “18,000 is not enough to convince me.” So how much would be enough?

“One million,” Boll said. “Now we have a new goal.”

Indeed, now we have a goal. All we need is 980,000 more signatures on this petition and we can rid the world of future Boll-directed/produced cinematic atrocities. as my friend Scott Weinberg on Cinematical points out, Tunnel Rats, Far Cry, Zombie Massacre and BloodRayne 3 are already in production. So we might not be able to stop those productions. Be we just might have the ability to prevent a BloodRayne 4 or House of the Dead 3. So sign now!

SIGN IT NOW.

Also mods, I couldn't decide between putting this thread here or in the Media Centre... I figured here since all this douche does are videogame films, but feel free to move it if deemed inappropriate.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Signed, Josef Kavalier.

It's for a good cause, anyway.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Signed.

I hope there won't be any petitions against my works someday

How ya doing, buddy?

Feels like he's playing people for saps. I believe Uwe Boll has as much likelihood of following through with his word on this as 50 Cent had when he said he'd stop doing solo albums (excluding COLLABO!) if Kanye West outsold him on their then latest albums. "Worth a try" it seems, but I can't help but feel that he's just trying springboard off this like with the rest of his crazy shit.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

FUCKIN' SIGNED =I

I was speaking idiomatically.

He didn't have anything to do with House of the Dead 2, did he? I thought that was just another in a long line of hilariously awful SciFi Channel original movies. I mean, they weren't even able to use the original footage for flashbacks.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Moved, seems more appropriate in the Media Center, if you ask me.

Totally and completely signed though, even though it won't do shit. He might have well asked for 10 billion, even if people sign it a zillion times each and get the count up high enough, it won't make the guy quit. It's not like he needs movie sales to make his money.

I'm all for another Boll bashing thread, though.

FELIPE NO

72477 Signatures Total

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I actually picked up BloodRayne at a pawn shop a little while back, there's one bit where four bored guys are standing around hacking another guy up on the ground with axes. They'd gotten up to his rib cage, the rest of his body was just mush. But the dude was still alive, screaming.

And I was like fuck. What a tough guy!

SIGNED. You ruined House of the Dead, Uwe Boll. House of the Dead barely even had a story to begin with. SUFFER LIKE G DID.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

too bad this won't completely stop bad video game movies (lmao at dead or alive anyone?)
but if this helps to stop the majority then SIGNED. I like reading the signature comments =p

How ya doing, buddy?

Signed so hard it hurts. Also...

Originally Posted by wikipedia

When rumors surfaced that Boll had expressed interest in a Metal Gear Solid movie, and claimed to have been given a script to read, Metal Gear creator Hideo Kojima responded in his audioblog HIDECHAN, "Absolutely not! I don't know why Uwe Boll is even talking about this kind of thing. We've never talked to him. It's impossible that we'd ever do a movie with him."

You da man, Hideo Kojima!

One day at the Kojima office, Kojima productions...

Employee: ...So yeah, we'll probably have the movie completed by '09...

*another employee staggers into the room, clutching a letter*

Employee 2: S-Sir...I...couldn't stop it....it was slipped under the door so suddenly, I...

Hideo Kojima: What is this? *snatches letter* Dear Mr Kojima...blah blah blah...I'd like to make a Metal Gear Solid movie...your friend, Uwe Boll...

*Mr. Kojima starts foaming at the mouth*

Hideo Kojima: ...The...the bastard....ughh...

*another employee enters the room*

Employee 3: Oh hay guys, do you wanna play some Boktai---damn, Boll's been at it again...

And so ended the profitable run of Kojima Productions.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Fuck yes. Signed and dated.

I hope this isn't some cruel joke. He'd better belly up to the bar in the case that a million signatures comes to pass. It seems there are far more than a million people who are disgusted by Ewe Boll's attempts at film-making.

This should be cake.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Oh man I've spent the last hour reading the signatures. This is some real comedy there.

54046. David Price take some tips from christophe gans (silent hill) thats how it should be done - lol?

54025. Spooty Bad.
54024. Gareth Smyth Make him stop.
54023. Cory Goble Seriously, dude.

comment of the moment:
86146. Jeff Holmström He's movies isent good any where..

I was speaking idiomatically.

♪ SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED. SIGNED OFF~ ♪

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Not that I've seen any of his movies, but I signed anyways for the potential lulz.

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omg uwe boll actually made a video response to the online petition.
I found it to be hilarious.

YouTube Video

stop Boll, 137,736 signatures
pro Boll, nonexistent as far as I know

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

That may be the most important thing I ever sign.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Will he actually stop making movies when they got a million signatures?

No.

Waste of time

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I know the internet loves a scapegoat, but it's very, very bad about picking them -- Derek Smart, Uwe Boll, Jack Thompson and the like are all people who are playing everyone like fiddles. They're outrageous characters created specifically to draw attention to themselves. And the Slashdots and Kotakus of the world eat it up...

Everyone who signs this "petiton" is a fucking sucker.

Anyone who promotes it is as stupid as they get.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by LeHah

Derek Smart, Uwe Boll, Jack Thompson and myself are all people who are playing everyone like fiddles. They're outrageous characters created specifically to draw attention to themselves.

Fixed.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Shenlon

omg uwe boll actually made a video response to the online petition.
I found it to be hilarious.

stop Boll, 137,736 signatures
pro Boll, nonexistent as far as I know

At least Michael Bay gets commercials and makes awesome explosions.

YouTube Video

I was speaking idiomatically.

I refuse to sign this.
Uwe Boll's self confidence is always mistaken for arrogance. That's why you guys hate him.
Postal is comedy gold and the type of movie he should be doing.

As for BloodRayne and House of the Dead. The movies were about as good as the games they're based on. Crying about the quality of a zombie flick, that's pathetic.

Uwe Boll, please make a Postal 2.

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Originally Posted by sprouticus

Fixed.

Oh, crawl out of your own ass. The opinionated film student schtick was passe a decade before you were in college. Get your own act before attempting to pigeonhole other people.

No wonder Temari shuts you down like the Boxer Rebellion. Who'd want to bed you?

FELIPE NO

To paraphrase someone from another board, "Does anyone who doesn't play video games 24/7 actually know, much less care, about Uwe Boll?"

LeHah's right. Period. End of story.

The best way to fucking take away from this guy is to stop paying attention to him in the first fucking place. 1,000,000 signatures = 1,000,000 people who had to come to know about this faggot in some shape or form. "Uwe Boll makes shitty video game film adaptation" isn't news, it's the very antithesis of the word.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Even if you do get rid of Uwe Boll there is always another million turds ready to take his place why bother.

Jam it back in, in the dark.