[DnD] Crusader (GFF D&D Adventure 2)

Gabriel neatly lops off the ogre's ear, and it flops to the floor in front of the creature.

"Oooh! That's new. I spy.... wait. Oh."

He then brightens. "I wonder if it still works! HELLO THERE! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!"

The ogre's face fills with a sunny smile. "I can still hear myself! My ear still works! You have no power against my magic ear, tiny man!"

He picks up the ear and waves it mockingly at Gabe. "In. Your. Face!"

A shout rises up from the back of the ranks. "Cut off his arse next, I want to see what happens!"

Bolstering Strike: 14 damage to Ogre
Ogre marked by Gabe

Motsognir crawls about on his hands and knees, not seeing the point in standing up again when it just means he'll hit the floor harder next time.

Inspring Word: Motsognir's HP +9 (forgot to remove the bloodied tag, sorry)

Argumentus, armed with a powerful magic sword which the gods themselves have smiled on, hangs out in the kitchen and mocks his enemies. He may also do a little dance; this is unconfirmed.

Infuriated by Argumentus' taunting, but unwilling to re-enter the dwarven meat grinder, the elves take positions alongside the doorway. The bastards have to come out eventually.

Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I had no particular desire to get any closer to the ogre or put myself in line of sight of the elves' bows so I stood my ground, launching another fire burst spell through the door into the corridor. If it was a battle of attrition they were after I was just the ranged attack wielding, cowardly retreating elf for the job.

I thought some suitable music would unnerve our opponents so using my Ghost Sound spell, I sent the popular musical hit Please sir, light thee once again my fire by those doyennes of the scene, Take Thee That drifting across the battlefield. I thought the ugly dwarf in particular would appreciate that, he looked to me the kind of fellow to enjoy music from a group of virile young men in tight trousers.

YouTube Video

Flame Burst at ogre's NE corner (L8 is that? The numbers have got lost), Ghost Sound in corridor

Jam it back in, in the dark.

At a loss for other things to do, I sit down on the couch and get to my knitting. If the other boys can fix themselves lunch in the middle of a battle, they can't begrudge me a scarf.

move up one square north
crossbow at ogre

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Bob's sudden preoccupation with shirtless, gyrating men spoils his aim rather badly.

Scorching Burst: miss (both targets)

Brigid continues to stay out of the way, in a move that is precisely as safe as it isn't effective.

Hand Crossbow: miss

Emboldened by the undying power of his magic ear, Klaus sets out to destroy Gabriel once and for all. He makes some decent progress toward this goal, all considered.

11 damage to Gabe, bloodied

Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

Sorry for the wait, Verizon is a useless sack of crap

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The dwarf winced as the club finally bit into him firmly enough to cause some real damage. In response he shifted down a step, calling out to his god, supplicating himself before his deity in order to find strength in his limbs before he lashed out angrily yet again.

Shuffle to k11
Lay on Hands (self)
Bolstering Strike to I-Spy

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Argumentus whistles at Klaus and taunts him instead.

"Yoo-hoo! Big fella me know what ogres want." He waves the sword in antici----pation.

Argumentus readies a Reaping Strike if the Ogre enters the doorway

I was speaking idiomatically.

Motsognir was all healed up and ready for killing.

Stand up
Let's try out that Bloody Ending

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

With the power in his holy symbol closing up the worst of his wounds, Gabriel lines up the axe; he swings... oh, he whiffs it. What a disappointment. Don't lay hands on yourself the day of a big fight, coach always said.

Gabe's HP +10
Bolstering Strike: miss

Still sprawled on the floor, Motsognir wedges his axe into the nearest tall object and pulls himself upright. That the relevant object is Klaus' now-mutilated left forearm is of relatively little concern to the dwarf.

Bloody Ending: 20 damage to Ogre

Argumentus continues dicking around with the sword and not accomplishing a whole lot, attempting to lure the beast with simple taunts while the Paladin has drawn its attention via a divine mandate.

Still unenthused about rushing headlong into FLAB BATTLE!!!, the elves take a step away from the doorway and continue biding their time.

Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers

FELIPE NO

The ogre was on it's last legs, cut to ribbons from the onslaught of the dwarves and I turned my attention to the elves lurking outside. Clearly anyone rushing out to engage them would be riddled with arrows before they took a step so blindly charging out the door would be foolish.

It was then I remembered the exploding sweets we had procured in our earlier adventure. I tapped the big guy on the shoulder and asked him to drag the recently deceased elf over to the outside wall of the house and shouted at the clever dwarf to throw me the sweets, hoping they'd understand my requests. I then moved to the wall myself, blasting the ogre with an ice ray almost as an afterthought.

Ray of Ice at ogre, move due south to wall

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Knitting is so relaxing.

klack klack klack klack klack klack klack





oh, and crossbow at ogre

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Ray of Frost: miss
Hand Crossbow: miss
Pattern: Seems fairly obvious

Klaus takes another swing & a miss at Gabe, then takes a step north to escape the flank.

Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf snarled as he took another ringing shot off his shoulder. Kord be praised, it did roughly the same amount of damage the ogre ever did. It would take more than slowly adding dents to his armour to overcome the defenses, and the will, of a dwarven follower of Kord.

Still glowing with the mystic energy of his sacred circle, he reached to his belt and pulled out the small onyx statue of a mastiff. Muttering under his breath: "Arf, arf motherfucker" he dropped the animal next to his feet, smirking as the thing suddenly grew into a rather large, rather angry looking dog. The animal positioned itself opposite Argumentus before lunging angrily at the Ogre's midsection. The dwarf, meanwhile, straightened his posture, all but laughing as the battle became more pitched. He'd never been this close to death, and he relished it.

"The dog is going to take a bite out of you, son. But not nearly as large as my axe. You're already dead, and you don't even know it, lad."

Standard: Summon Onyx Dog to i11 in order to setup flank for Arg.
Free action: Spend healing surge to give HP to doggy.
Minor Action: Command dog to attack Ogre.
Minor Action: Divine Challenge on I-Spy

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Motsognir took a weak swing at the ogre, knowing the angry human would probably kill it soon.

Viper's Strike

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Time to do something. Finally.

Move to J8
Reaping Strike on Klaus
Action Point spent
Brute Strike on Klaus

I was speaking idiomatically.

Goliath is once again released from his astral cage, hungry and snarling. He lunges at the ogre, ripping the meat from his leg.

Goliath placed in J11 (has to be adjacent to you, sorry), 10 temp HP granted
Bite: Critical Hit! 9 damage to ogre

Motsognir's strike on the ogre just bounces off one of Klaus' sturdy joints.

Viper's Strike: miss

Argumentus, tiring at last of all his taunting, strides forth with the popular-seeming weapon. He makes a quick practice swing to line up his strike, and then lunges forth at the ogre's throat. The gleaming blade severs the ogre's head from its body in a single blow, and the headless corpse sinks to its knees before collapsing to the floor in an earthshaking crash.

His head bounced away, and the elves gave a shriek
And away they all fled, for alone they are weak
But Arg heard one exclaim as they ran for their lives
"Forget the damned sword, I want to survive!"

Reaping Strike: miss
Brute Strike: 27 damage, ogre killed

VICTORY! 1025 XP (205 XP each)

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Hearing the rare sounds of action I got up from my knitting, to see that the ogre finally succumbed to the not-attacks of the no-warriors. Well, I ain't got rights to complain, since I only was able to hit him once or twice. Such a big feller shoulda been easier to target, all the same.

I check his body and the body of the elf for any loot.

FELIPE NO

The dwarf wandered around, making a point of not stepping on the Ogre's corpse. He was a valiant enemy, he had brought Gabriel closer to death than any opponent thus far. He wasn't going to desecrate the creature by placing his boots upon his dead back. He did, however, keep the ear as a souvenir of the pitched battle. He attached it to the skull stick with a piece of leather and then meandered over to Goliath. Scratching the animal between the ears until the inevitable return to onyx. The dog statue was then dropped into his pack as the dwarf wandered back to join the group.

He clapped Argumentus on the back, smirking from ear to ear. "Aye, that was proper bracing, lad. Nice job with the head severing bit." He smirked and stowed his axe over his shoulder. "Wish I'd thought of it, really. Seems a mite bit obvious in retrospect."

He shrugged.

"Nonetheless, a battle Kord himself would be proud of."

Most amazing jew boots

With a deft swing of the sword, the big human decapitated the ogre. Quite why he couldn't have done that ten minutes ago I would never know.

With the death of their muscle, the remaining elves fled, denying me the opportunity to put any of my cunning schemes into action, something I was quite upset about, they really were some very cunning plans.

Oh well, at least we had all survived more or lss intact and still had the sword. I suggested to the big guy that he might want to clean it off and cover it up, in case we attracted any further unwarranted attention on our trip back to town. I didn't hold out much hope of the elf carrying any decent equipment, as he seemed to be little more than a common sell-sword but I eyed up his bow in case it was better than my new one which in retrospect was a premature purchase, the benefit of hindsight eh? I helped myself to his arrows anyway and any more I found lying around undamaged.

I couldn't speak for the Horde but I was tired out after our exertions of the day. I still wasn't sure if my undead companions actually slept but I was fairly sure they wouldn't mind if I did. I checked the wizards pantry for something edible thinking if I didn't find anything I'd eat some trail rations and then went to see what kind of sleeping arrangements the dead wizard had in his house.

"Perhaps it might be prudent if we sleep in shifts tonight chaps, just in case those elves come back with more friends, assuming of course you fellows do want to sleep here and not just head back to town now".

I wasn't expecting much of a coherent response.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Elfstar

"Perhaps it might be prudent if we sleep in shifts tonight chaps, just in case those elves come back with more friends, assuming of course you fellows do want to sleep here and not just head back to town now"

"I agree. But I'm thinking the house we just took the sword from, the house everyone is coming to search, may not be the best place. I say we cover up the sword and get it back into town, or at least somewhere that isn't here, and then see about reuniting the Lord with his blade."

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Brigid rifles through the personal effects of the dead. Most of it is cheap mundane equipment.

Greatclub, Hide Armor, Leather Armor, Longsword, Longbow, 15 arrows

Strapped to the dead elf's belt, however, is a clue as to how poor Klaus was bullied into their service in the first place; an ivory horn carved into a stiletto more than sharp enough to puncture the poor ogre's layer of blubber.

Daggers do base damage of 1d4,

have a proficiency bonus of +3,

and yes, everyone can wield them.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I sensed that the others were keen to get away from the house and go camping. Sounded like a good plan to me, it meant I could try out my new campfire spell!

I gathered up the elf's arrows, leaving the flashy looking dagger to someone who might get close enough to an enemy to use it, wondering as we left if it might not be a good idea to set fire to the house so any would-be assailants would think we'd all perished in the inferno.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

That dagger hurts monsters larger than the wielder, does it? Well it just wouldn't make sense for one of the larger party members to use this, so I took it.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Argumentus sat Injun-style to rest and heal up before leaving for a camp site. He pats his knees to suggest everybody else do the same.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf sighed as he saw the dagger. Reaching down he hauled the ogre's frame over onto its back and placed the greatclub in his dead hand.

"Poor blighter. Just spoiling for the wrong fight. Fought well, lad. Never any shame in dying on yer feet. Hope Kord rewards you in the next life."

And with that he wandered outside and stretched before glancing over at Argumentus.

"I think the point of us going camping is to rest up before we return that sword yer carryin', lad. I say we get the hell out of here before someone else decides to pincushion us."

Healing surge to full

FELIPE NO

"I'm not burying that great big oaf on my own. You want his soul to find rest, you dig the grave."

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?