[DnD] Tomb of Horrors (GFF D&D Adventure X)

minor to move to tunnel
Move down tunnel
Major to move swiftcurrent down tunnel.
Not sure what square that puts me in.

FELIPE NO

20 Dice Rolls *dammit I mean

The vipers swarm over the two small intruders, favoring both of them with several venomous bites. The poison immediately begins to course through Sam's veins, but he stays on his feet somehow. He's had worse poisonings. Usually on purpose.

18 ongoing poison damage to Uxig.
16 ongoing poison damage to Sam.

Just noticed the snake's aura is fear-based, so Sam'll be immune to it I suppose.

Ignore the top NINE ROLLS, I fucked up pretty bad on the initial edit of this post.

Sam 24, Skeleton Guardian 21, Garold 19, Beefi 16, Slim 12, Gra-fa-zut 8, Horde Vipers 27

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

2 Dice Rolls rune

Normally Slim did not know fear but the poison was having odd effects and all these snakes reminded him of tiny limbless hims.

Shift to BL -4

rune of mending on Sam giving him a urge +1 hp and +1 to all defenses til the end of my next turn for both of us

Haul ass haul ass down the tunnel.

NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T HAVE ME TINY ME'S. I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU WITH YOUR PLANS TO LIVE IN MY HEAD MEAT AND HIGHJACK MY BODY!

Then he starts quivering and muttering under his breath about size envy and his magnificent thighs that all covet.

Down in the tunnel he yells at the Genasi

They're freakin me out man!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I managed to deflect the incoming attack. For some reason I got the feeling the gods were annoyed. As if something had interrupted their plans. I allowed myself a tiny little smile, and then promptly looked up at the towering skeleton. I heard hissing from the boxes. You know what? Tactical retreat.

Shift to BN-3 and sprint back down that corridor like a MOTHERFUCKER OUT OF THE WAY BEEFI HOLY FUCK FIGHT THEM THERE SO I DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM HERE JESUS SNAKES.

How ya doing, buddy?

I saw Sam come scrabbling down the tunnel towards me with a wild look in his eyes. If whatever was down there had spooked him that much, there was likely to be little I could do to help. I backed up out of the tunnel as fast as I could.

Back up, double move back out of the tunnel, end in BL-23 if possible

How ya doing, buddy?

Slim suddenly wakes up slumped against the north wall. Oh good it was all just dream! Then he looks up and sees the skeleton and more importantly the chest are still there.

AAAAAAAAHHHHH the nightmare has become reality!

burn my second wind getting back 15 hp then shift one west using shifty and run as far as I can down the tunnel.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Garold finally reaches the tunnel opening, but he can't see much of anything besides Beefi's backside. After some panicked yelling, half the party comes running straight at him so he decides to back off and give them some room.

Move 1 square southwest

Most amazing jew boots

"Aw, what? I can't fit in that tunnel, what do you expect me to do? Come back when you're ready to fight like a man."

Grumbling and fuming, the skeleton just clambers back into his chest and slams it shut from the inside. That didn't accomplish much.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I step to the inner edge of the tunnel then take five burning two surges to get back to full While I wait for the party to gather.

Lets try that again shall we?

FELIPE NO

Surges to full. Return to room.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Despite their hasty retreat, Slim seemed pretty keen to get back down the tunnel. I still hadn't really worked out what they'd seen down there and I wasn't convinced that I wanted to know.

"If you gents are set on going back in there then that's fine. I'd hate to block up the tunnel though, I'm not as spry as I once was wot? I'll bring up the rear as it were, in case any of the blighters try to circle round behind us".

I stood by and waited for the others to re-enter the tunnel so I could take my place as the rear-guard.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Now everybody seemed to be going back down the tunnel toward whatever they had been sprinting away from. I decided not to think about it too much and instead just follow along and prepare for the worst.

Move through tunnel to chest room, take up position at (-4, BK)

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Somewhere deep in the bowels of the tomb, a terrifying howl rings out. The blood-chilling howl of a two-headed yeti with multiple wizard class levels. How cold it sounds.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The Elemental guy seemed lost in thought. Knowing how upset he'd be if he missed out on the action, I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him over to the tunnel before stuffing him into the entrance and pushing him down in front of me. I attempted to position him in such a way as to get a good look at what was going on but I slipped and accidentally pushed him into one of the chests.

Go through the tunnel dragging GFZ with me. Stand in BL0 and shove GFZ into the skeleton chest

Most amazing jew boots

6 Dice Rolls Sam init

Lost in thought, Gra-fa-zut allows himself to be dragged into the chest room and used as a trap-spring. Once again, the massive skeleton unfolds itself from its cramped little resting place. It seems significantly less enthused about its responsibilities this time.

"You again?"

Sam 23, Garold 23, Skeleton 19, Uxig 14, Beefi 14, Gra-fa-zut 5

I was speaking idiomatically.

3 Dice Rolls damage

I shuffled back into the room just in time to see the huge skeleton loom up in front of me. It brought back horrible memories of losing my virginity to an anorexic with anger issues. Then it uttered the exact same words she had uttered so very long ago.

"You again?"

Something inside me snapped. My eye twitched, and then so did my trigger finger. The only thing drowning out my scream was the belching of the weapon as it spread hot metal into the skull of ol' skull and bones. I decided that wasn't quite enough, promptly dropped my gun, snapped up my crossbow and resisted every urge to scream SAY HALLO TO MAH LEETLE FRIEND as I twanged a bolt into its thigh.

"GODDAMNIT. I LOVE DUNGEONS. I HAVE TO HIGH FIVE THIS WARLOCK WHEN WE MEET HIM."

My ears still ringing from the shotgun blast in this enclosed room, I may have been speaking a little louder than I'd intended. A grin split my face as I adjusted my hat with the end of the reloading crossbow.

"THAT FELT GREAT. REALLY CATHARTIC."

Fire dragon FP. Free action to drop it. Free action (armour) to draw crossbow. Snapshot. Move to BK2.

Damage: 31 + 9 = 40.

How ya doing, buddy?

1 Die Roll spear o' insects

Garold watched in amazement as the Halfling unleashed a salvo of projectiles on the skeletal monstrosity. Apparently something quite horrible had happened in here the last time.

He had not known Sam for very long, but anything that could rattle the normally cool and collected halfling must be bad news indeed and deserved the worst in return. Garold had just the species for the occasion.

Biting Swarm critical hit! 14 damage
Skeleton takes -2 attack roll penalty until start of my next turn

Garold's hurled spear impacts right between the eye sockets and explodes into a swarm of angry Death's Vengeance wasps. He presumed their rather painful venom wouldn't have much effect on a creature without nerves, but their habit of boring into skeletal remains to make their nests would probably do some harm. At the very least he imagined it would be difficult for one to focus with a nest of wasps buzzing around inside one's skull.

FELIPE NO

6 Dice Rolls *ohohoho

"Why would you fill my skull with wasps? You have unleashed a greater threat than I could have posed alone: a skeleton with wasps in his mouth and when he talks he shoots wasps at you!"

And with that, he shoots wasps at them. Fuckin' wasps. No loyalty.

Rain of Steel hits everyone but Gra-fa-zut for 15 damage, slides them 2 squares eastward.

Uxig 14, Beefi 14, Gra-fa-zut 5, Sam 23, Garold 23, Skeleton 19

How ya doing, buddy?

1 Die Roll Chaaaarge

I threw my arms up to protect myself from the stream of angry wasps, issuing a slightly girly scream before slipping quickly into unconciousness as the first of the creatures started to sting me.

Beefi Kertanz shook the wasps out of his mane, ignoring the feeble creatures' stings as he would ignore the gentle caress of a light summer rain. He quickly identified the source of the insects, a large, reanimated skeleton loomed in the chamber, cackling threats in the unnatural way of the undead. Beefi had no time for the undead, to him they represented sloppy workmanship. When the minotaur killed something, it stayed dead.

This overgrown deadite would be no different from the others. The minotaur lowered his head and charged.

Move to BO-1, Goring charge on skeleton
+15 vs AC 22 = 7+ to hit

Jam it back in, in the dark.

1 Die Roll smash?

Slim temporarily moves away from the skeleton to regain his bearings and think of a plan. Then the advice of his mentor "Smidge O Bittercap flashed into his mind.

LET ME THROW A HAMMER AT IT!

move to BK1

Hammer throw at skeleton 10+11 vs AC= one shy

You pagan troglodyte!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

1 Die Roll STRIEK HIT

That boney motherfucker. What the hell was he thinking shoving my partners around? "Nobody touches them, assholes." I stepped in, sending a wave of thunder at him as my mind locked into his.

move to BN-1
Aegis of Assault on Skeleton
Thunderclap Strike on Skeleton 11 + 9 = 20 < 21 YAY I MISSED

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

1 Die Roll Assuming skeleton has reach 2

Sam is just chillin. Maxin'. Relaxin' all cool.

Openin' some chests outside the school.

When some Skeleton who was up to no good, started fuckin' up shit in his neighbourhood. He gets in one little fight and his mom got scared.

Said "You're moving to the yellow chest up over there"

Sam runs to BN-5, along top wall and left wall.

Push open yellow chest

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

A dozen dry corpses groaningly tumble from the box one after another, reeking of spice and trailing bandages behind them. How had all these mummies fit inside this one chest? It was quite the mystery. If it had been, say, a dozen snakes in there, that would have been easier to understand.

Mummies: AC 22, Fort 24, Ref 19, Will 23 (Yes, minions)

Garold 23, Skeleton 19, Uxig 14, Beefi 14, Gra-fa-zut 5, Sam 23

Sorry Chanic, completely slipped past me that you might want an update.

I was speaking idiomatically.

13 Dice Rolls -2BQ Mummy

The big skeleton oddly seemed to be enjoying the wasps buzzing around in his noggin. But, their spectral lifespans were up. The seeker giveth and the seeker taketh away.

The halfling had finally found a proper undead horde, but they seemed out of place here. Perhaps the master of this tomb was in the business of importing undead horrors. He made a mental note to fine him for illegal trafficking before they killed him, or re-killed him. Semantics.

Garold raised his spear and prepared to carry on with business as usual, but paused when the big skeleton did an amazingly good impression of a smirk for someone without any lips. He heard a brief whispered exchange among the undead, and then the mummies' dry gnarled faces all gave him a condescending look.

How dare these dusty bone piles look down on him! He trembled with rage for a moment, then looked up at them and yelled

"Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn Batman!"

With a raise of his hands, a swarm of bats erupted from the air over the golden chest, and proceeded to envelop all those that thought little of him.

Standard Action - Swarming Bats
Area Burst 2 centered on (-3, BO)

Hit mummies at: -2BQ, -3BQ, -4BQ, -5BQ, -3BP, -5BP, -4BN, -4BM

Zone of bats is difficult terrain for enemies and while inside it enemies grant combat advantage.

The bats tear at the mummies' wrappings, and eight immediately collapse into piles of dust, bones, and cloth. The remaining enemies are quite distracted by the flurry of black wings surrounding them, and Garold uses the opportunity to get a little distance between him and the undead.

Move Action - move to (2, BK)

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

9 Dice Rolls *gimme dat arm

The party hurls their attacks at the skeleton one after another, each of them wildly off-target or deflected by the skeleton's whirling blades. Worse, Gra-fa-zut is thrown off-balance by the skeleton's quick parry, leaving him open for a vicious slash across his midsection.

30 damage to Gra-fa-zut; bloodied. (Preemptive Slash)

The situation is worsened when Sam, in an uncharacteristic act of inopportune curiosity, flips open the golden chest. Thinking quickly, Garold manifests a colony of angry bats from thin air.

The swarm of bats rip through the mummy horde, tearing apart the dusty, decrepit things with ease and making a general nuisance of themselves. As one of the mummies collapses into a moldering heap of wrappings on the floor, it lays a sinister curse upon the seeker who slew it.

"May your chewing gum lose its flavor! Your gum, and your children's gum! Yea, for 100 generations! May your pantaloons ride up uncomfortably! May your bread grow moldy at a slightly accelerated — "

Garold had no idea what chewing gum was, but a curse was a curse all the same. Despite himself, he was a little unnerved. And his pants were riding up uncomfortably. Urgh.

Final Curse: Garold's next surge use only grants 1/2 the HP.

The skeletal guardian is vexed. These bats could hardly be turned to his own advantage! I mean, you can only really fit one bat in your mouth at a time. Three, tops. Odds are you get a mouth full of guano for your trouble. No, best to just cut them up with his swords. It seems so pedestrian.

Worse, the bats were distracting him from the problem of the genasi, who seemed awfully important suddenly. He did have a nice sword; you can always use another sword. It's getting a fifth arm that would be the tricky bit.

"Cool sword, bro. Where'd you get it? I always wanted to a buy a sweet-ass sword like — never mind, I'll just take yours."

The skeleton brings his blades to bear on the genasi, attempting to hack his sword arm off at the shoulder. Only thanks to his durable armor are the scimitars kept from cleaving the limb off entirely.

27 damage to Gra-fa-zut

Uxig 14, Beefi 14, Mummies 11, Gra-fa-zut 5, Sam 23, Garold 23, Skeleton 19
Remember that you've got CA vs things in the bat zone (marked in maroon)

Most amazing jew boots