[DnD] Crusader (GFF D&D Adventure 2)

The dwarf growled as the club swung at him again. Finally having enough, he lashed out one more time with his axe before sliding back into the house, slamming the door, and quickly downing a healing potion before throwing the glass beaker at the far wall.

"I really, really hate elves with pointy sticks."

Bolstering Strike
Shuffle back and close door (lock if possible).
Healing potion.

FELIPE NO

Motsognir moves into the room with the bookshelf, because there was really nothing for him to do except have a good loiter. He was not particularly helpful in ranged battles, especially ranged battles through walls.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Now was not the time to shine for Argumentus. It'll come later...

just wait for it >:x

full defense

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Gabriel makes a quick swipe at the ogre before slamming the door shut and throwing the bolt. Now that the entire party is stuck together in a shoddy wooden structure with a single blocked exit, things are going to be all right.

Bolstering Strike: 7 damage to ogre, Gabe gains 2 temp HP
Healing Potion: Gabe gains 10 HP
Please pretend I actually edited the map to show the closed door

Motsognir engages in some light reading. This is a man with his priorities in order.

Argumentus has a secret plan to get the party out of Vietnam their predicament. However, he dares no reveal it lest he embolden his enemies. He hides behind his tiny little shield, waiting for the perfect moment to REDACTED TOP SECRET

Exasperated, the elves draw steel and cluster near the door, trying to batter it down without getting between the ogre and his quarry. Their attempts are somewhat unproductive.

5 acid damage to elf N8, then save succeeded

Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers Swordsmen Swordspersons Stabbers

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf had bought us some breathing room and time to think. The elves and their tame ogre wouldn't take long to get through the door though. In an ideal world, we would set up a series of cunning traps in the style of child prodigy Macalayly of Culcin in his command performance Whate happened when ye childe was left at ye house with no adulte supervision but I feared there was no time for that. Instead, I plotted up in cover, ready to blast an ice ray at the first thing to come through the door not waving a white flag.

Stand in cover, ready an ice ray to fire when the door opens

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

moves one square north
readies crossbow for another shot if the door opens

How ya doing, buddy?

With a mighty crash, the ogre's greatclub tears through the door. The wizard and the cleric, prepared for this contingency, open fire — and both of them miss.

Well, that was an uneventful update.

Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

I was speaking idiomatically.

The dwarf realised it was his job to keep the ogre pinned to this spot, unable to move forward. Luckily, he is both dwarf and follower of Kord. So, running the whetstone across his axe he tossed the sword towards Bob, calling out: "Give it to the Hulk" before he turned back towards the ogre. Placing his stick skull in the ground between them he shouted:

"YOU.

SHALL NOT

PASS!"

And then readied his shield.

Augmenting whetstone
Throw sword to Bob to give to Argy
Full Defense

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Argumentus had bought himself some time but without any enemies to face his bloodlust has become insatiable.

Argumentus is unstoppable
A Tank is approaching, Argumentus is about to become the tank

Most amazing jew boots

Motsognir moves to square K11, readying an attack against the ogre.

Most amazing jew boots

Gabriel begins to grow comfortable in the doorway. Perhaps it can be a new home for him. He tosses the sword aside and casually sharpens his axe. #3 Doorway Avenue is a beautiful place to be!

Whetstone: Opportunistic Battle-Axe raised to +2 for the encounter
Hot potato passed to Bob

Argumentus, growing impatient with his distance from the battle, begins to twitch. A thin streamer of drool trickles from his lip, and the red mist descends once more.

Get the Flash Player to play this audio file:

Motsognir prepares to strike out at the ogre, should the ogre somehow actually make any forward progress.

With the sword in Bob's hands, he becomes the primary target of the elves. Two of them squeeze through the doorway with their longswords, and Bob's new robe gets ventilated. The rest continue battering away at Gabe, more out of a desire to clear away an obstacle than out of any genuine malice.

5 damage to Bob
16 damage to Gabe

Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarf tossed me the sword and I deftly caught it with my off-hand, spinning as I did so and dropping it at the feet of the big human. As I finished my spin I felt a sharp pain in my side as one of the elves lunged at me, scraping my ribs with his crude blade and ripping a small hole in my new robes.

I cried out in pain and felt my choler rising. As I grew more angry a number of things happened, almost beyond my control.

My will enveloped me like a shield, deflecting the blade to some extent and limiting the damage to my robe. My cry of pain turned to a scream of anger and my robes burst into flames, wreathing my in smoke and fire, confounding my enemy's attempts to injure me further. I raised my staff and blasted the elf full in the face with an ice ray, daring him to strike at me again, the flames and shards of ice flashing reflections of red and blue in my eyes to match the face paint I really wish I'd had time to buy.

Drop sword at Arg's feet, Shield, Fireburst Robes, Ray of Frost at the elf that hit me

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Our plan to draw the ogre in the hallway has been stymied, partially because of the skull-dwarf's pride and partially because the other elves got bored of waiting outside. Idle hands make the Devil's playground.

move to j10
Righteous Brand at western elf, bonus to Argumentus

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Bob throws up his hand and the incoming blade bounces off the very air in front of him. Incensed at this impudent assault on his person, he wreathes himself in searing flames which burn but do not consume. The swordsman takes another swing as Bob smashes ice into his face, but is made to suffer for this insult as well.

Bob didn't actually take that 5 damage last turn after all
6 damage to elf K9, slowed
Ranged attack in melee range: attack of opportunity. 10 damage to Bob
8 damage to elf K9, bloodied

Finally in reach of an enemy that won't trample her underfoot, Brigid darts in and very nearly finishes off the scorched and frozen archer.

10 damage to elf K9, bonus to Arg

The ogre takes another swing, bouncing harmlessly off of Gabriel's ridiculously heavy defenses.

Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Suddenly spinning in place, the dwarf lashed out at the bloodied elf-archer with his axe before sliding away from the ogre and the breached doorway and downing the final healing potion in his possession.

Valiant Strike on bloody archer.
Shuffle back to k10.
Healing potion.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Hewing out with his axe, Gabriel hacks opens the elf's midsection. Clutching at his vitals, the elf slides to the floor.

"I only had... three days... 'til retirement...Dolph! Tell... my wife... I love...wheeze."

An elf wearing facepaints looks on with a mixture of horror and relief. "Well, at least he'll never have to find out I've been fuckin' his wife."

14 damage to elf K9, killed
Gabe's HP +10

Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Argumentus moves to pick up the magic sword, stowing his mace while picking it up and equipping it.

Hopefully who's his face won't mind if it's a little dinged.

Hopefully it'll do something.

FELIPE NO

Motsognir peeked around the corner to see the other Dwarf cleaving one of the elves in twain. The hallway was still to crowded, though. He hopped around the halfling to stand beside Gabe, and knowing that his brethren's blow was more powerful, convinced him to take another swing.

Commander's Strike at that other elf

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Mots wanders out into the hall and, seeing the carnage that Gabe is wreaking there, encourages him to keep it up. He then returns his attention to the intriguing pages of Elminster's Encyclopaedia of Household Vegetables.

Commander's Strike: 18 damage to elf L9

The elves retreat from the hallway, finding the cramped spaces uncomfortable. They form ranks behind the ogre and resume their original tactic of perforating the dwarves from a distance.

Motsognir's reading is rudely interrupted when an arrow suddenly protrudes between Romaine and Rutabaga. As he looks up in irritation, a second arrow promptly embeds itself in his nose. Wailing in horror, Soggy falls to the floor.

Mots and Gabe both get AOOs on retreating elf, but miss
2 arrows hit Motsognir: 27 damage, dying, unconscious, yada yada
1 arrow hits Gabe: 9 damage

Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The elves retreated in the face of the dwarf's onslaught and rather uncharitably, shot the other dwarf who slumped to the ground unconcious. There was little I could do for him, having basically nothing in the way of healing skills so instead I took advantage of the bunching up of the elves to blast them with flame before ducking back into cover.

Flame Burst on square N10, move to H6

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I felt bad for yelling at the fragile dwarf earlier. Sure, he wasn't doing anything to help but he was keeping himself alive, which is the primary drive of any man.

I was itchin' to pepper some yellow dwarves with bolts, but there's the small matter of an ogre in the way. Small as I am, maybe I can shoot between his legs'r somethin'.

Healing Word on Soggy
Crossbow at O10 elf
move to j12

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Bob sets some people on fire and then runs away. Although the ranged burning is as pleasant as ever, it lacks the essential je ne sais quoi of having one's enemies burst into flame merely from touching you.

Scorching Burst: 7 damage each to ogre, elf O9, elf O10

The cleric, Brigid, did find the unconscious warlord, and declares him not dead. Against his better judgment, Motsognir opens his eyes and tries to remember where he is. He looks up, and a hairy fat man wearing nothing but furry underwear is pointing down at him and laughing. Just like the last time! Why does this keep happening to me?

Healing Word: Mots restored to 13 HP
Hand Crossbow: miss

The ogre takes one more step before once again running up against the dwarven roadblock. His attempt to break through the barricade once again meets with frustration and sadness, and he makes another attempt to lighten the mood.

"I spy with my little eye, something that—"

"Is it a beard, Klaus?"

"Damn it!"

this ogre, so useless

Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The dwarf smirked as the ogre's club once again bounced off his shield. Truly Kord was with him upon this day. However, he was battered and bruised and thoroughly aware that he needed to draw the beast even deeper into the home. So he decided the best course of action was to make it even angrier than it already was.

Leaning back he swung his axe in an upwards arc, looking to catch the stooping creature and maybe take an ear with him. Immediately he slipped backwards towards the cleric's position, shouting at the beast as he went.

"You cannot hide. I see you. There is no life in the void. Only death."



Bolstering Strike on fat ogre garbage face
Shuffle to J11
Divine Challenge to I-Spy
Hold the Line

I was speaking idiomatically.

Motsognir, tired of waking up to the same old thing, creeped into another room, mumbling about biscuits.

Shift to square J8
Shift to square K8
Inspiring words to self

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Argumentus bides his time by taunting the elves.

"Yoo hooo! I got yor sword!"

He prepares for the possibility of the ogre's long reach with a full defense.

FELIPE NO