[Movie] Transformers Movie (07-04-07)

Commencing whining...

Yup, this movie is not Transformers. This is Michael Bay's Giant Robots Who Happen to Change Forms.

It's too bad that Hollywood seems determined to shit out any movie, and not follow what made the idea for that movie good to begin with. I know they won't be getting my $10, and I truly hope that this movie bombs worse than Dungeons and Dragons, just so that Hollywood may start getting the idea that it is not good to put out bad movies.

FELIPE NO

You are capable to determining whether this movie is bad by determining whether they're carbon copies of designs from one specific era of Transformers or not?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Yup, considering it was supposed to be based loosely off G1, and then none of the Transformers even closely resemble anything they are supposed to. ie. It's the new Miami Vice, Godzilla, Honeymooners, Dukes of Hazard, Dungeons and Dragons, etc.

Sure, Michael Bay can do a decent action movie, and I'm sure that Transformers will be filled with action. But will it be Transformers? I think not. And if you think it will, you go enjoy playing with your Energon Cube. Me, I'm not going to support shitty movies, and I'm also not going to support Hollywood resurrecting an old idea only to shit on it to make it more "mainstream" and popular with the younger movie audience.

Transformers could have been a great movie. Instead it will be a ho hum forgettable action flick of the summer that no one will care about.

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How can you fuck up a show that basically had a terrible storyline, crap one or two episode plots, and one-dimensional characters? You can't. Michael Bay CANNOT fuck this up, especially with guidence from Spielberg. Remember the source material here, guys.

And yet people see designs of the Transformers and because they don't look ANYTHING like their original G1 boxy and totally '80s counterparts, you're gonna bitch and claim the movie as a failure?

Gtfo.

How ya doing, buddy?

What is the requirement for something to be "Transformers", again? They're robots that change into other stuff based on toys made by Hasbro and/or Takara. That's been the only unifying thread throughout the years. Beast Wars is Transformers. Robots in Disguise is Transformers. Cybertron is Transformers. The movie is Transformers, regardless of whether it matches with what you believe a movie based on a '80s cartoon should be.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Oh man, this is the worst day ever. First I have my first auto accident and am late to work, then work was extremely shitty, and now I find out that there's no Soundwave. If only I were emo, then I could pretend to kill myself.

Seriously, I always thought Soundwave would make a cool "sound tank" that uses sound to destroy stuff, sort of like Shriek in Batman Beyond except in tank form, like something straight outta Command and Conquer. There's no reason why they couldn't have included him. Starscream's robot mode looks like shit. All the robot modes look too alien and overly comlex. They look more out of Evangeleon than Transformers. The lack of armor and the exposed joints make them look vulnerable.




On the one plus side, I didn't know that Bumblebee was going to be one of the NEW Cameros! The black stripes make it look BAD ASS. I'm no longer complaining about lack of VW. Also, according to IGN, the movie explores Megatron's motives a bit, which will be interesting to see.


All in all, I agree with what Lord Jaroh said. Well put, right on the money.

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What is the requirement for something to be "Transformers", again? They're robots that change into other stuff based on toys made by Hasbro and/or Takara. That's been the only unifying thread throughout the years. Beast Wars is Transformers. Robots in Disguise is Transformers. Cybertron is Transformers. The movie is Transformers, regardless of whether it matches with what you believe a movie based on a '80s cartoon should be.

Only an untrue Transfan would say that. Transformers died after Beast Machines, end of story. Dreamwave's Transformers comics are exactly what Transformers should be. Even the ones that weren't G1 (such as War Within and G.I. Joe/Transformers WWII) were exactly what Transformers should be. IDW's comics also live up to what Transformers should be, they even modernized the designs and retold the original story in modern day. The designs in "Infiltration" are perfectly acceptable as realistic portrayals of giant robots and they also embody everything Transformers fans love. All Bay had to do was read one of these comics (Dreamwave OR IDW) and simply copy them. I don't want Micheal Bay's interperetation of Transformers, I want TRANSFORMERS. Those who say Transformers is NOTHING MORE than "a show that basically had a terrible storyline, crap one or two episode plots, and one-dimensional characters" are very wrong. Transformers has a certain vibe, a spirit to it, that makes it great. Yes, part of it lies in the simplicity of "things that transform and go boom", but there's much more to it than that. One has only to read the reincarnations of Transformers by Dreamwave or IDW to know that. Bay has only shown signs of being untrue to the spirit of Transformers by changing everything that CAN be changed and still barely qualify it as "G1-ish". It seems like Bay is trying to do War of the World with robots rather than the story of a race of beings that are not unlike humans. If I wanted to make a new G.I. Joe movie (or any other 80's cartoon franchise for that matter) I wouldn't start by shitting on the fans and trying to appeal to the casual movie goer only.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

They look too alien..? Maybe because they're fucking aliens. They shouldn't look like something humans made or are capable of right now. They should look advanced, sleek, etc.

I was speaking idiomatically.

The Decepticons are getting the more alien and monstorous forms in contrast with the more humanoid Autobots, which I like. It furthers the dichotomy beyond "I'm a car, so I'm an Autobot" (which they threw out when they introduced the Stunticons, anyway).

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Wow, did you guys actually expect them to look like the 80's versions? Seriously?

I'm lolin' over here, at that. Oh man you have no idea.

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So now it's a Decepticon if it has an insectoid face?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

It's a Decepticon if it looks evil.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by galen

Wow, did you guys actually expect them to look like the 80's versions? Seriously?

I'm lolin' over here, at that. Oh man you have no idea.

Sort of like Superman, Spiderman, and countless other comic book characters that are iconic. Yup, they should be recognizable as their classic versions. Yes I understand that Superman's "original" costume was quite different, but once he hit popularity, well his look has always become iconic, no matter how many times they have tried, and failed, to change it.

When I originally heard that they were coming out with a Transformers live action movie that was mainly based on G1, with a few borrowed elements from later series, yes, I expected the characters to be recognizable as G1 characters, simply more modernized. These fail in every respect.

Double Post:

Originally Posted by Kurado

It's a Decepticon if it looks evil.

Except that Decepticons were part of the same race as Autobots. They were simply more warlike, thus the alternate forms adopted more war-related forms. These look like they are of a different race completely. Not that it really matters, since this isn't Transformers, much like Godzilla wasn't Godzilla even if they called it that.

How ya doing, buddy?

The fact that you would compare a character as iconic as Supermanto The Transformers just makes this all the more amusing. Keep shakin' that fist!

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

What the fuck are you talking about the characters not being recognizable? Bumblebee's yellow. That's all I need. Optimus Prime has the mouth-piece (lol) and red and blue color scheme. You can't change that. OMG HE HAS IT.

When you say simply more modernized, I don't see how they'd get it to work without the characters looking like shit at all. The Transformers look very good now, even if they're a bit of a divergence from the '80s look (which, again, really isn't a bad deal at all).

As for the differences between Autobot and Decepticon, uh, it's kinda hard to make them look really similar when one group is called DECEPTicon. I mean fucking come on, dude, if they're gonna call themselves the Decepticons then they're probably gonna try and use fear in a visual sense as well. Why not look like a fucking evil motherfucker? Why not wake up every morning and bulk up with laser cannons, rockets, dildos, the works. You're a Decepticon and you're here to FUCK shit up and take over Cybertron for your kind. You're a war-machine.

So yeah. They'd look different, seeing as how the Autobots are all "omg sparx and all are won!!"

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Kurado

They look too alien..? Maybe because they're fucking aliens. They shouldn't look like something humans made or are capable of right now. They should look advanced, sleek, etc.

No, they're not just aliens. They're a race of machines that are supposed to blend in with other cultures by emmulating their technology. The whole point IS that they look like something we could build right now. It's been that way from G1 all the way through Beast Machines. Also, as I said earlier, it looks like Bay is trying to do War of the Worlds with robots instead of making Transformers. Part of Transformer's appeal is that they are not so different from us, that they have much of the same problems, personalities, motives, and emotions that we do. As opposed to a WOTW vibe where it's simply the "the other" are vastly different from us and are out to get us.

I was speaking idiomatically.

So Jaroh. Did like, Micheal Bay and his design team rape your mother or something? Because that's the only way I can see you getting so angry over what a character looks like in a movie. Yeah I'd like it a little more if they looked more blocky and less anime inspired than they do, but whatever. I can roll with the punches. I'm an adult.

Kurado is absolutely right. Despite what you want to believe, Transformers was not the magnum opus of the 80s that you're making it out to be. It was a cartoon designed to sell toys. It was a half hour long toy commercial with a movie, and too many spinoffs to count. It aired every week, and every week I'd hound my mother for a new jet/car/bus/ambulance/etc. And you know what? I loved every second of it.

It was about this group of giant fucking robots that turned into awesome shit and had awesome guns vs that group of giant fucking robots that turned into awesome shit and had awesome guns. It wasn't this huge commentary on anything, it wasn't the best written work of a generation. It was a fucking children's cartoon show.

Bay can't fuck this up. If he has giant robots that transform into different veichles blowing the shit out of each other, he's done good. If he has Peter Cullen scream "Transform and Roll Out" just once more, he's done good. If he manages to find someone with the best Chris Latta impression for Starscream, he's done good. Autobots and Decepticons fighting each other. That's all Transformers ever was, regardless of what you've built it up to be in your head.

And on account of my saying this, don't bring that "real fan" shit in. The Soundwave t-shirt I'm wearing as I type, and the Optimus Prime (Powermasters line, 1988) toy sagely overlooking me as I write this suggest otherwise. I adore the transformers. And while I do share, to an extent, some of your concerns, I by no means am angry about them. Putting flames on a truck is not a reason to not see a movie about my second (GI Joe will always be number one) favourite cartoon series as a child.

It's obvious that your passionate about the Transformers. You probably wouldn't be flying off the handle if you were a Go-bot fan. But you're not going to see this movie, because they made them look different? If you want them to look like they did in 86 go watch the animated movie.

Explain how exactly they fail? Optimus is a truck. Megatron is a tank (so they stole it from G2 because of the whole "no size changing thing. But that's an entirley different arguement, and probably one I'd agree with you on). Starscream is a jet. Bumblebee, while not a bug, is still a yellow car. Scorpinok is in it. And he's a fucking giant metal scorpion. You can't tell me that's not bad ass.

Seriously, does going from this;

to this;


really going to make THAT much of a difference. Sure, I agree, I would have liked to have seen a little more classic approach. When I first saw the designs, the first words out of my mouth (well, in my head because I was alone and I don't talk to myself) were "what the hell". But you know what, I can look past that. He's a truck, he's named Optimus Prime, he's voiced by Peter Cullen, and I get to see a live action transformers movie. That's all I need. If you want to judge a movie that you haven't seen a single frame of as being "shit" and a "terrible movie" fine. Don't give it a chance. Make a judgement on it before actually seeing it. Overreact and look foolish because they changed a character from a saturday morning cartoon. Sit home and be pissed off about it. I'll be at the theater watching Starscream rip shit up and having a great time.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

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When you say simply more modernized, I don't see how they'd get it to work without the characters looking like shit at all. The Transformers look very good now, even if they're a bit of a divergence from the '80s look (which, again, really isn't a bad deal at all).

You saw that Citreon commercial right? The robot Citreon is a great example of what should have happened. It looks like it's straight out of the freakin' Alternators toy line! I don't mind so much if they change stuff, but the changes implemented by Bay are way too far out from what Transformers have ever traditionally been. At least when they transform they always retain some recognizability of what their vehicle mode was. You can see how the entire front end of a car doubles as a robot's torso and the very design of the car helps you recognize and helps define each character. The new designs look to do just the opposite: differentiate the robot from the vehicle mode. This is not Transformers.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Lord Jaroh

Sort of like Superman, Spiderman, and countless other comic book characters that are iconic.

No, not really. The ones you're referring to are stand-alone characters who are cultural icons. Transformers always has a bunch of characters, none of which are at the same level of Superman. If anything, they're more comparable to X-Men, who had their costumes altered for the movies.

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Not that it really matters, since this isn't Transformers, much like Godzilla wasn't Godzilla even if they called it that.

Again, Godzilla is a single character. There is nothing in Transformers that's consistent other than the fact that they're robots who change into other stuff.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Mobius One

You saw that Citreon commercial right? The robot Citreon is a great example of what should have happened. It looks like it's straight out of the freakin' Alternators toy line! I don't mind so much if they change stuff, but the changes implemented by Bay are way too far out from what Transformers have ever traditionally been. At least when they transform they always retain some recognizability of what their vehicle mode was. You can see how the entire front end of a car doubles as a robot's torso and the very design of the car helps you recognize and helps define each character. The new designs look to do just the opposite: differentiate the robot from the vehicle mode. This is not Transformers.

The Citreon robots look even more flimsy and liable to blow up from a single laser shot than anything the live action movie's providing is with so far. Sure they look more 'realistic,' but they're not very fun AT ALL. I would hate to sit through a movie with boring designs like that. At least with these I get mech-on-mech cybering with every character sporting a Transformers decal.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

>

Any day of the week. G1 Prime (especially in all his 20th anniverssary figure glory) looks perfectly acceptable as realistic (for the purposes of a live action film), especially when the new design doesn't scream "this could really happen!". Will changing it make that much of a difference to casual movie goers? No. To the fans? YES. When they said G1, the image of G1 Prime instantly jumped into the minds or every Transformers fan.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Acceptable as realistic? Maybe, okay, yes. Maybe. Acceptable as anything else? No. It's outdated. It needs to be spruced up, and honestly, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the new look. I'd have a problem if Optimus Prime had a mouth and bat wings and clown feet, but he doesn't.

I think I'm posting the same thing over and over again.

How ya doing, buddy?

Karudo, did you watch much Transformers in the 80's?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Mobius One

>

Any day of the week. G1 Prime (especially in all his 20th anniverssary figure glory) looks perfectly acceptable as realistic (for the purposes of a live action film), especially when the new design doesn't scream "this could really happen!". Will changing it make that much of a difference to casual movie goers? No. To the fans? YES. When they said G1, the image of G1 Prime instantly jumped into the minds or every Transformers fan.

They never actually said they were making a G1 movie. They said they were making a movie that was loosely based on G1. Optimus, Megatron, Starscream, Ratchet, Scorpinok. Crash land. Earth. Transform into viechles. Fighting over energy source on earth. They didn't say that is was going to be G1 100%. Would it have been nice, well yeah. You're right, the classic Prime (and god is that 20 Anniversary figure gorgeous) is better. Shit happens, and if you really can't accept that he looks a little different in order to get a movie that you (and me) have no doubt be clamoring for since you were kids, maybe you arn't as hardcore of a fan as you think you are.

And did you just try to make an argument about realism referring to a cartoon about a truck that turns into a robot that saves the world?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Kurado

What the fuck are you talking about the characters not being recognizable? Bumblebee's yellow. That's all I need. Optimus Prime has the mouth-piece (lol) and red and blue color scheme. You can't change that. OMG HE HAS IT.

When you say simply more modernized, I don't see how they'd get it to work without the characters looking like shit at all. The Transformers look very good now, even if they're a bit of a divergence from the '80s look (which, again, really isn't a bad deal at all).

God you are so right! These would look like shit in a movie!





This is what I'm talking about by being modernized, but still recognizable, and in the same vein being realistic. And would it have been bad to pander a bit to the fans of the classic line that made it big?

The point is, they are changing it for no reason at all, just because they can. See, I can understand the Bumblebee can't be a VW arguement. So why not a Focus? Or a Mini? Or any sort of hatchback? I can understand the no size changing, so no Megatron as a gun or Soundwave as a tapeplayer. But having at least the robot forms not even closely resemble what a Transformer should look like, nor their heads being remotely similar on the Deceptacon side, so that they are unrecognizable except for the names...that's terrible. Why even make a Transformers movie if you're not going to appeal to the fans that made it big. Oh wait, now it's going to be an hour and a half long commercial designed to sell new toys. Nothing more.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Mabius, I think I did. I was pretty maniac-crazy about it for years. I remember crying when Optimus died in the movie. I remember hating Rodimus Prime. I remember thinking Galvatron turned into a whiny puss in the season that followed the movie.

I also remember growing the fuck up and accepting the fact that Transformers was a cartoon that, as acid mentioned, had only one objective: SELL PLASTIC AND DIE-CAST METAL TOYS TO LITTLE KIDS. The plot was simple: Autobots blew up Decepticons and vice versa while trying to keep their war hidden from humans (Decepticons less so). It was a silly plot about alien robots and whatever but I didn't care. It was fucking awesome.

I grew up and it's still awesome, but I'm not going to lynch Bay or bash a film that hasn't even been released yet because of some creative character redesigns. As long as the characters RESEMBLE the originals I could care less about anything else. It's obvious the creative team behind the movie cares about TF, as they've gone so far as to try and get original voice actors casted for the movie rather than some shoddy big name actors.

The real question is: does your mom comb you netherhairs?

FELIPE NO