[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

As Argumentus gawks at the incoming fuzzy things, he shifts his weight in the wrong direction at a bad time. The freezing beam ricochets from his greaves, flying back in Bob's direction and very narrowly missing his head before splattering against the far wall with a sound like shattering glass.

Critical miss!

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The sudden rush of meeces broke Argumentus's dull composure, causing him to fall back and protect the pretty lady.

Argumentus moves to the left of Scary Bob's table, facing the door

FELIPE NO

A swarm of rats (of roughly usual size) rushes toward the door, but makes little headway before being caught up in internal debate.

Meanwhile a massive rodent, its maw flecked with spittle, rushes the backpedaling Argumentus.

Gabriel, hidden beside the doorway, takes an opportunistic swing at the heedless animal and trips it up.

Robbed of any momentum, the rat's vicious jaws snap shut a few inches short of the target.



Gabriel's attack of opportunity: 7 damage.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I hear the hollars and squeals outside in the next room, and glance through the doorway to see....ugh, rats. And big ones, too.

I've had quite enough of being attacked by things today, and rats gnawing my feet off does not sound appealing in the least, and if I were to kill them, they certainly wouldn't have anything worth looting. I would just shut the door, but the giant oaf ripped the bloody thing off it's hinges.

Move to door at bottom left of room. Attempt to enter and shut door behind me.

Most amazing jew boots

Fescue slips away into the adjoining room without difficulty, sealing the door behind him and taking in his surroundings. This was probably the pantry; most of the chamber is packed with deflated grain sacks and various barrels and kegs. The thick dust coating the majority of the room is absent from a small radius surrounding a hatch in the southwest corner.

Meanwhile, a cluster of large rats trundles toward the rest of the party, one of them nipping the harried paladin.



3 damage to Gabriel, HP 21

How ya doing, buddy?

On turn, move to hatch and examine.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The dwarf growled as the giant rat found a soft spot of leather between the hard scale of his armour. He kicked it off with a quick shudder of his tiny, stout little leg and whipped the hammer down in a violent swing at the group of large rats that had just attacked him, almost more on reaction than anything. He glanced over at the prone body of the even larger rat as it sprawled short of Argumentus, a slight smile on his face as he grit his teeth and felt the fever of battle overtake him. It was his second battle in minutes, and he knew Kord was pleased. Very pleased, indeed.

With a smirk on his singed features, he set his shield tight to the ground and readied for whatever was to come next.

Bolstering Strike
Second Wind

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Gabriel's attack widely misses the rat; no surprise, as it's difficult to take a really good swing at something latched onto your own ankle. All the same, the rush of battle energized him, and he felt as good as new.

Gabriel returns to full HP.

The warlord Motsognir jogs up to stand beside the unlucky wizard, looking at his ice-rimed staff as if searching for the defect.

The last of the rats finally makes it to the doorway, snapping futilely at the paladin amidst the furor.

New round! Fescue, Giant Rats, Motsognir, South Dire Rat, North Dire Rat, Rat Swarm, Scary Bob, Gabriel, Argumentus

Fescue enters the vicinity of the hatch, and immediately begins to stick to the floor. The area around the hatch is coated in a slimy sheen. The goo clings to his boots, making every step an effort. The hatch is slightly ajar, and the glint of gems can be seen — faintly, as though through a veil.

The giant rats continue to stream through the door. Gabriel catches one as it passes him, and dashes its brains onto the floor, killing it.



I was speaking idiomatically.

Finally, Motsognir had reached the battle. He was afraid for a moment that it might have ended before he could cross the room, but thankfully Moradin had seen fit to let him demonstrate his prowess agian. Running forward, he let out his most devastating attack.

Move to West Side of North Door
Bastion Of Defense on North Dire Rat

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

(Erm, is there a torch in the room? If so, light it and examine why the goop is there. If not, use my sunrod. If there's any monsters, PARTICULARLY a giant fuckass spider, I'd rather fight the rats, book it outta there.
If it's just goop and there, test it for flammability in a spot away from the bulk of it, assuming I found a torch. If it's dangerously flammable, drudge through it to the hatch, if it melts conveniently, make my way to the hatch still.)

FELIPE NO

Hurtling past one dire rat to reach another, Motsognir is inadvertently bitten. The southernmost rat's filthy maw tears a chunk out of his leg. Stumbling in pain, Motsognir's axe falls short of the target. However, his noble attempt is still inspiring to those around him, if only because it will make for a funny story later.

South Dire Rat gets Att. of Opportunity on Motsognir. Motsognir takes 4 damage and contracts filth fever (loses 1 healing surge) All members of party except Fescue gain 5 temporary HP from the Bastion of Defense

The same dire rat strikes again, snapping at Argumentus. Leaping at the big man, he opens a nasty gash in the fighter's arm.

7 damage to Argumentus, who contracts filth fever (loses 1 healing surge)

To the north, another dire rat nips at Gabriel, but misses. The stampede of ordinary rats moves ever closer to the door, temporarily flummoxed by a disagreement about military spending.

A lot of crap happened there, so let's do a quick status update for the party.

Argumentus: 21 HP (feverish)
Gabriel: 35 HP (including 5 temporary)
Motsognir: 26 HP (including 5 temporary) (feverish)
Scary Bob: 24 HP (including 5 temporary)
Fescue: 26 HP



What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The battle swirled in front of me. Both dwarves were swinging ther weapons wildly at the rats, which were snarling and snapping back, gouging chunks out of the noble warriors in front of them. The shifty looking human was notably absent from the fray but I had no time to consider him, my minions needed my assistance!

Realising that stemming the flow of rats into the room was a priority, I gathered my will and conjured a cloud of lethal daggers in the doorway.

Casts Cloud of Daggers at the giant rat three squares north of me.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The oversized vermin manages to avoid a skewering, at least for the moment.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The Dwarf saw the northern-most dire rat take a chunk out of the slow human warrior. He saw the giant rat directly before him chittering and screaming in rage. All around him was fur and fang, not but chaos and unsettling cruelty. A normal man would have shrunk away in abject terror.

Gabriel Sledgehammer was no normal man. He was chosen of Kord. Disciple of the Lord of Storms. He smelled war and his blood boiled with the memories of thousands who had come before him. In times of peace he was uneasy, but in the throes of pitched battle such as this, he came alive.

His head jerked to the side, pulling his focus away from the giant rat directly before him, kicking it aside as it snapped at him. He shut his eyes, letting the sounds of combat echo into his ears, the ringing of steel and fist and the rending of flesh. It filled his senses, the smell of blood flooding his nostrils, and there... in the center of that monstrous scene he found the calm of the eye. His master's words echoed in his ears, heard so very long ago.

"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force of Kord, and a powerful ally it is. Battle creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Kord around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the enemy and your hammer."

As he slowly opened his eyes, a dull glow seemed to emanate from his small form. A slow calm creeping over his features as he tightened his grip on the heft of his warhammer. Slowly he shut his eyes again, his breathing becoming quiet and calm as he settled into an almost meditative few seconds. His brain screamed at him that the odds were near impossible. He should just strike out at the giant rat before him. The strike was impossible!

"NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS!" he bellowed, swinging the hammer directly at the open doorway where he'd heard the approach of the second dire rat, aiming to leave its head a bloody mess, if not fell the beast completely.

Divine Strength
Paladin's Judgment (with desire to let Argumentus take a healing surge)
The strike aimed at the Dire Rat on the diagonal near the doorway

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Argumentus, enraged by the Dire Rat's bite, puts his shoulder to the shield and bulldozes his way into the pack of large rats now swarmed by daggers.

Argumentus moves Northeast

Argumentus performs Passing Attack on Dire Rat, following through to Giant Rats

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The paladin's fervor grants him a truly impressive swing, dealing a mighty wound to the vile rat. Argumentus, always entertained by injury to living things, is assuredly heartened by the sight.

16 damage to Dire Rat north. Argumentus' HP to 31

As Argumentus sidles past the southern Dire Rat, his initial swing at that creature misses by far. But as his stride carries him toward the dagger-harried Giant Rat, his fists batter the cloud of blades aside, rocketing through to pummel the rat into a fine red jelly.

Miss, and then a Critical Hit: 10 damage

New round! Initiative order: Bob, Dire Rat North, Gabriel, Rat Swarm, Giant Rat, Motsognir, Dire Rat South, Argumentus, Fescue



I was speaking idiomatically.

Seeing that the biggest rat was now dangerously close to me, I unleashed one of my most powerful spells towards it. A foul ray of necrotic power streaked towards the foul beast from my fingertips.

Cast Ray of Enfeeblement on closest Dire rat.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dire rat barely dodges the enervating ray, and what's left of the northwest doorway begins happily boiling away instead.

The northern dire rat then charges into the vacancy recently created by Argumentus, biting into the paladin and and leaving a garish wound.

6 damage to Gabriel, who contracts filth fever (and loses a surge.)



FELIPE NO

The Paladin roared as the animal bit into his hip. He felt the disease running through his veins, but he was not daunted. Kord would not allow him to fall. Not here in the darkness of some deserted prison. Today was not a good day to die.

He reached down and strapped the scale armour tighter around his middle to stem the bleeding, and gripping his hammer tighter he glared at the rat, speaking low and calm.

"I hate rats! You are defeated but you have no shame. You are stubborn but you have no pride. You endure but you have no courage. I hate the rat!"

With that challenge laid out, he reached back and lashed his hammer out violently at the dire rat directly in front of him. The creature with the audacity to sink its vile teeth into him, at the same moment, he slid back a half-step to draw the monster away from his compatriots who clearly already had their hands full.

Divine Challenge on Dire Rat
Bolstering Strike on Dire rat
Shuffle away one step

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Gabriel lands a solid blow on the offending rat and bloodies it, regaining a certain measure of dignity.

Gabriel hits north Dire Rat for 8, and gains 2 temporary HP.

The roiling swarm of smaller rats at last pours through the doorway, piling onto the already-harried Argumentus. The fighter is engulfed in small bitey things.

5 damage to Argumentus: 26 HP

The last of the rats finally enters the fray as a giant rat lunges for the paladin. Motsognir takes a wild swing at the creature as it passes him, but misses. Another small puncture is added to Gabriel's already-extensive gallery of scars.

3 damage to Gabriel: 28 HP



Jam it back in, in the dark.

Warlord's Favor to South Dire Rat, with possible benefit to Argumentus

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Motsognir turns his attention to the southern rat, battering it severely — well, as severely as he's likely to, anyway. The strike seems to enrage the beast, and it ceases paying any attention to Argumentus.

9 damage to South Rat. Argumentus receives a +4 bonus to hit if he attacks the south dire rat before Motsognir's next turn.

The same rat takes out its frustrations on Motsognir, its claws raking his forearms.

7 damage to Motsognir: 19 HP

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

UGLUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Argumentus Performs Reaping Strike on South Dire Rat

How ya doing, buddy?

Unleashing a flurry of careless punches, Argumentus barely harms the rat. Worse yet, he's still being swarmed by tiny pests, biting and scratching him in great numbers.

2 damage to south dire rat from reaping strike's miss condition. Argumentus takes 9 damage from proximity to rat swarm: 17 HP

As Fescue crouches to examine the goo on the floor, he notices the hatch on the floor is moving almost imperceptibly — pulsing up and down. Acting with a professional rogue's innate intuition for danger, he sprints out the door as a hulking yellow blob of mobile slime heaves itself out of the hatch.

New Round! Initiative Order: Rat Swarm, Bob, Giant Rat, Fescue, Slime, Dire Rat North, Dire Rat South, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus

Seeking another meal, the rat swarm turns its attentions to the paladin as well, but the stalwart dwarf fends off the hungry horde.



I was speaking idiomatically.

As yet another of my spells blasted wide of the target, I shifted my aim to the large group of the vermin who were swarming over the horde. Surely the fates would not be so cruel as to allow me to miss again!

Ray of frost on rat swarm

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?