The One Shot Joke Thread.

Originally Posted by Omnislash124

Checking yourself out? I dunno if the answer is a pun or something.

Rofl. I didn't even think of that.


The only thing I could get is that the mirror is one of those one-sided mirrors (mirror on one side, see-through on the other); so by taking the table and throwing it at the mirror you could get out.


EDIT: I was told the answer, so I'm not going to say it here, but geez...

Most amazing jew boots

A group of people discover a new process of making clothing that produces higher quality, more comfortable clothing. They patent it and begin making T-shirts named Gress, made from their initials. Over the next series of months, their product's popularity grows exponentially. The group starts a company, Gress, Inc., and begin purchasing factories and gathering employees in order to meet the demand. When the buyers demand variety, the company begins producing colored tees. They also eventuall make other types of clothing such as pants and socks. It becomes lucrative for all involved.

One day, two friends meet for the first time in a long time at a high school reunion. One discusses how he had all this wealth, had accomplished so much, but lost it due to greed. The other friend responds:

"You have nothing, but I dye Gress."

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Hahah, I like that answer, Omnislash, but sadly no. The answer is not a pun per se, but it is all about a play on words. If Ryuu truly did get the correct answer, then he knows exactly what I'm talking about.

How ya doing, buddy?

Do you actually use anything? Or is it something like a door frame with no door?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Yeah, you do, and no, there's no doorframes, the walls, ceiling and floor are all solid, impossible for you to gnaw/claw/kick/bodyslam your way through. I'm sure that's all much more clear in the original riddle, but not the way I posted it. Oh well I'll repost the riddle and then hide-ify the answer.

You are in a room with four walls, a ceiling, and a floor. There are no doors or windows, the room is completely closed off. The only objects in the room are a mirror and a table. How do you escape?

This content has been hidden by the poster

Darn words, and darn phonetics and the english language.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Do the walls actually make a room, or are there just 4 walls?

Do the walls actually touch the floor and ceiling?

Is it the table that you use?

Do you even use the mirror?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The walls make a room, and touch the floor and ceiling. As stated, it is completely closed off. You could say you're in a very large box of any type of tough material that isn't edible or whatever. You use both the table and the mirror. You're thinking way too hard about this

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Yeah, I dunno then....

*Checks the Answer*

What the hell.....

Meh, Logic's never done anything good for me anyways.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Omnislash124

Yeah, I dunno then....

*Checks the Answer*

What the hell.....

Meh, Logic's never done anything good for me anyways.

Yeah, after I was told the answer, I basically knew I would have never gotten it anyways.

I like your answer better though, "Checking yourself out" lol.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Just some easy brainteasers. Try to guess!

1. You have one little marble, and you have to share it with your friend. How would you do that if one doesn't get more than the other? DON'T SLICE IT!

2. Your doctor gives you three tablets of medicine, and he tells you to take one every half an hour. If you take the first one at approximately 10 AM, what time will you have finished all the tablets?

3. You set an alarm at 9, and you went to bed. How long will you sleep if you go to bed at 7 PM?

4. Draw a triangle with ONLY one straight line. No curves, no zig-zag styles. Just a simple line.

5. There are 15 birds up on a tree. The tree grows on a cliff. One bird is shot. How many are left?

6. How many species of animals did Noel bring into his ark?

Have patience in reading.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Ozma:

Answers:

1. Put the tiny marble on the ground 10 feet away, and challenge your friend to a game of Boules. Both of you will hence be sharing the marble in the game.

2. 11 AM, thereabouts.

3. Just 2 hours, assuming you don't have one of them fancy digital alarm clocks with an AM/PM setting.

4. I draw one straight line on a piece of paper, then cut the paper into three parts. Those then line up to form a triangle.

5. None are left, because the birds would be freaked out by the gunshot and hence gtfo.

6. None. It was Noah who had the Ark.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Moon

Ozma:

Answers:

1. Put the tiny marble on the ground 10 feet away, and challenge your friend to a game of Boules. Both of you will hence be sharing the marble in the game.

2. 11 AM, thereabouts.

3. Just 2 hours, assuming you don't have one of them fancy digital alarm clocks with an AM/PM setting.

4. I draw one straight line on a piece of paper, then cut the paper into three parts. Those then line up to form a triangle.

5. None are left, because the birds would be freaked out by the gunshot and hence gtfo.

6. None. It was Noah who had the Ark.

I agree with most of this logic, except number four. You're probably right, but I thought of a different approach.

A triangle has 180 degree's when all 3 angles are added up, so you just draw a single straight line, which is the diameter of any circle, which happens to be 180 degrees as well.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

A somewhat related tidbit (to triangles) is you can get a 270 degree triangle. Take a globe, start at the north pole, go 1/4 of the way around (to the equator) and turn 90 degrees right, then trek another 1/4 of the way, then turn 90, then go back to the top. Voila, a triangle with three right angles.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Considering it's Christmas time, I thought I'd share a little Christmas joke..

Why is Santa's sack so big?

Because he only "cums" once a year.

Merry Christmas everyone!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

two drums and a cymbal just fell off a cliff: ba dump ching

How ya doing, buddy?

A classic Dolemite joke - The other night I was fuckin' a deaf and dumb girl, and she wanted me to stop so she says to me 'HAFFAHAFFAHAFFAEEEEEEEE!' So I cut the bitches fingers off so she couldn't tell anybody.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by KingDeadDuck

A somewhat related tidbit (to triangles) is you can get a 270 degree triangle. Take a globe, start at the north pole, go 1/4 of the way around (to the equator) and turn 90 degrees right, then trek another 1/4 of the way, then turn 90, then go back to the top. Voila, a triangle with three right angles.

The truth is, that both answers for number 4 are wrong. There is an even simpler answer that doesn't include any mathematical explanation. The answer for number 1 is also incorrect.

I was speaking idiomatically.

The real answer to number 1 is this:

You don't HAVE ANY FRIENDS!

Or maybe you're friends with yourself. Or maybe you just have another marble, which isn't so small, so you'd still have as many as your friend, and still only have one SMALL marble. But I like my original answer best.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

How do you kill a fox?

You cut off his leg and make him run across Canada.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Ayos

The real answer to number 1 is this:

You don't HAVE ANY FRIENDS!

Or maybe you're friends with yourself. Or maybe you just have another marble, which isn't so small, so you'd still have as many as your friend, and still only have one SMALL marble. But I like my original answer best.

No. Still wrong, though I like your answer. So original, like...whatever.

Spoiler:

Read question no. 1 carefully. This is actualy what I called 'playing with meanings'.

For number 4:

The line is neither horizontal nor vertical.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

For number 4, I suggest taking a piece of paper and drawing a line diagonally. The two edges and the line make a triangle.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I'd like to know what the real answer is....

There's nowhere I can't reach.

What do you call a black man who can fly a plane?

Spoiler:

A pilot, you racist bastard!

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

What does a native dad give his son for Christmas?

Your bike.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

So a blind guy walks into a 7eleven with his dog, picks it up and starts spining it around. The clerk asks him what he is doing, the man replys. Im just looking around.

I was speaking idiomatically.