[DnD] Package Handling (GFF D&D Adventure IX)

10 Dice Rolls *oh shit it's coming this way

While it strikes me as a particularly poor decision, maybe you bipeds are foolish enough to let orc-spawn handle priceless artifacts. Are you sure he even knows what a scroll is? He probably thinks it's some kind of totem to a fertility god. I can only hope he hasn't soiled it.

The baleful red eyes turn to stare at Gra-fa-zut and Glenn for a moment, and the Kraken communicates with them both in unison.

I'm going to check this out. Don't go anywhere; in the extremely likely event that the changeling is blatantly lying to me we still have some business to deal with.

The Kraken slides back into the water, carelessly releasing its grip on both the ship and Gra-fa-zut alike. The genasi and his rogue ally both slash furiously as the entrapping tentacles slip away, but to no avail. The Kraken darts easily through the water, slithering right up to the pier Puyet's standing over. Terrified by the Kraken's sudden looming presence so near to them, the Veltalarans fire one last volley of debris and flee for their lives. That's the problem with peasant militias: no morale.

Hello, half-breed. Your changeling friend has fingered you as the one preventing me from returning to my nap. He is almost certainly just lying to try to save his own hide, but in the absence of any real evidence this diversion amuses me. It's entirely possible that you ate the object I seek, and so consequently I am forced to shake you violently until you relinquish it. You understand.

The Kraken easily seizes Puyet in a tentacle, rattling him around to see if anything valuable pops out. Freed from his restraints, Gra-fa-zut teleports to the bow to punish the Kraken with his aegis but the beast's rubbery hide turns his blade aside again.

You stay put too, changeling. We will discover the truth of your assertions before you see any freedom today. And when I say 'truth' you should be aware that I'm being massively sarcastic.

Dimly aware of the genasi hacking away, the Kraken spritzes a jet of toxins back in the general direction of the boat as it seizes Cal. It doesn't even touch the deck, let alone Gra-fa-zut himself.

Crushing Tentacles: 16 damage to Puyet, grabbed
Action Point!
Crushing Tentacles vs Cal: 17 damage, bloodied, grabbed
Ignore that Fatal Plunge roll, ugh
Venom Bolt vs. Gra-fa-zut, miss

Cal 19, Glenn 18, Gra-fa-zut 5, Puyet 26, Kraken 25

How ya doing, buddy?

5 Dice Rolls Hiding behind tree

You doubt the tenor of my thoughts? It wounds me greatly, oh Kraken. It hurts me! Why, I think I'm going to go away and cry.

I instinctively wriggle out of range of the creature's tentacles, and decide to seek more advantageous terrain. The half-orc is probably going to need his inspiring words for himself.

Interrupt: Weave Through the Fray: Shift to AR51.
Minor: Apply Augmenting Whetstone to longbow. +1 item bonus to attack and damage rolls
Move: Move to AR57.
Standard: Move to AS63.

You big meanie. Just for hurting my easily hurt feelings, I'm introducing you to my little friend!

Satisfied that I am far enough from the creature's tentacles, I loose my special ice arrow into the mean kraken's eye. Not wishing to stay exposed to the creature's wrath, I then duck behind the nearest overhanging tree.

Action Point: Guardian Arrow with Freezing Arrow. Puyet designated as ally to protect.
13 + 7 + 1 + 8 + 4 = 33 damage (4 ice).
Use Puyet's Bravura Presence to move to AM63. Make Stealth check (20+14-5 = 29) against Kraken's passive perception.

Hawk, feel free to use the "Hide in Plain Sight" if it will help you in your turn.
Pang, please activate Disruptive Strike instead of Guardian Arrow's RBA if damage inflicted to any ally exceeds 15 or if the creature hits on a roll of 10 or less.

I was speaking idiomatically.

2 Dice Rolls damage

Glenn watches as the kraken decides to chase after his other companions, grabbing Puyet and making the changeling run away faster than anyone Glenn had ever seen. (He's going almost as quickly as an olympic runner, and up stairs and around corners no less) Glenn pulls out his crossbow and moves to the far side of the boat, heading for the pier as he fires a lightning bolt at the kraken.

Move to BD50
weapon swap
turn normal bolts into thunderbolts
hang head in shame for terrible pun
Deft Strike, moving to BB50
kraken takes 13 lightning damage

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

2 Dice Rolls *Damage

Now that the thing didn't have me, I felt a need to get the fuck out of there. Teleporting to the dock, I threw my sword back at the beast.

Use sword to move to AT47
Whirling Blade on Kraken / 15 + 11 = 26 > 24 HIT FINALLY / 15 + 6 = 21 Damage

FELIPE NO

3 Dice Rolls Furious Assault

Having icky, slimy tentacles around him wasn't very appealing. As much as Puyet liked bear hugs, this was pretty fucking far from it.

He didn't have much luck wriggling free.

"Listen, Octopus. If I'm going to eat anything, it is going to be you. Tell me, what is the side you go best with?"

Escape attempt. Athletics vs. Fort (26) FAIL
Drop dinghy.
Basic melee against tentacle. Nat 20. 17 Dmg and tentacle is knocked prone...ummm...maybe I can just end the grab instead?
Furious Assault. 7 dmg

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

13 Dice Rolls whew

The Kraken lashes out at Cal with one of its many tentacles, and its eyes widen in alarm as the changeling suddenly blurs into a white streak, hurtling off to the east at inconceivable speeds even as the tentacle slaps uselessly into the stone of the docks. A split second later an ice-rimed arrow plunges into the Kraken's body almost exactly where it breaks the water, and a thin crust of ice spreads over the water all around the beast.

Do you think to entrap me, small thing? Perhaps you are unaware of your position in the predator-prey relationship. But there will be time to educate you.

Glenn charges toward the bow, taking advantage of the Kraken's temporary immobility to plug it with a bolt or two. The Kraken bears the attack stoically, the spasms of electrocution barely apparent under the Kraken's struggles to free its tentacles from the ice.

Gra-fa-zut hurls his sword toward the dock, vanishing and reappearing beneath the blade just in time to snatch it from the air. With the tentacles temporarily pinned, the Kraken has to way of interfering with another toss — aimed just above its eyes, perhaps. The swordmage smiles as the weapon flies back to his hand, dripping with the Kraken's oily blood.

Puyet struggles to free himself, to no avail. He tosses down the dinghy in frustration, and in a single swift movement he pulls the hammer from his back and brings it smashing down on the tentacle that entangled him. The psuedopod is nearly flattened against the stones of the dock, and the Kraken is overwhelmed with pain, the top half of its body slumping bonelessly atop the crust of ice. The tentacle goes limp, and Puyet easily slips out of it.

Now you have upset me.

The Kraken flies into another frenzy, rearing up from the ice. Gra-fa-zut is seized, but Puyet manages to avoid recapture for the moment.

My business is now with the orc-spawn. Do not interfere. In fact, let me aid you in your egress.

The tentacle flings Gra-fa-zut inland; he smashes painfully into the cobblestones. At least he regained his freedom — as Puyet loses his again.

Your clumsy bludgeoning will not avail you twice, half— dammit, ouch!

An arrow suddenly sprouts right between the Kraken's eyes, and a well-concealed figure up on the cliffs whistles in appreciation of his own lucky shot. Meanwhile, Gra-fa-zut abruptly reappears right next to Puyet, slashing at the tentacle even while sprawled out on his back.

Stand up ()
Coils of Doom:
18 damage vs. Gra-fa-zut, grabbed
25 damage to the Swiftcurrent
Fling: 13 damage to Gra-fa-zut; freed from grab, but bloodied and prone
Action Point!
Tentacles vs Puyet again; 15 damage, grabbed and bloodied
Guardian Arrow RBA: 19 damage to Kraken
Aegis MBA: 8 damage to Kraken
Just another 50 damage to bloody it, guys!

Cal 19, Glenn 18, Gra-fa-zut 5, Puyet 26, Kraken 25

Jam it back in, in the dark.

5 Dice Rolls Bluffing the Kraken

Do you know what happens to mean squids that don't listen to reason?

Spikes of the Manticore. With Kruthik arrows.
Both hit, 19+7+1+7+1+4=39 HP damage.

This. This is what happens.

And to think we could have been... friends.

I mentally send it images

Were you expecting something else?

of my fondest private memories - such pleasure derived from tentacles that only a willing shape-changing participant can manage. Maybe, with my adventuring days drawing into a close, I can indulge in such carnal joys again.

Pat the fake scroll in my pack.
Move to AI60, making sure to continue visibly patting the scroll in the pack.
If Kraken's attack roll < 11, activate Disruptive Strike instead of ranged basic attack.

HEY GUYS, THE PLAN WORKED! IT THINKS PUYET HAS THE SCROLL! JUST HANG ON IN THERE! I'LL TAKE THIS TO THE FREEPORT EMBASSY. BE BACK IN A BIT WITH REINFORCEMENTS!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

2 Dice Rolls hit

Glenn, being the only one left on the ship, decides that a tactical retreat was in order. Tempting though it was to try to defeat the kraken, it isn't strictly necessary and Glenn doesn't see any help coming from the mainland. Breaking into a run, Glenn follows the changeling's example and books it toward the front of the ship, jumping for the pier. As he flies across the gap, Glenn spins and fires another bolt at the kraken, but it flies harmlessly over the beast, hitting the water some distance away and instead electrocuting an unfortunate school of minnows. Ah well, you win some, you lose some.

Run to AV50, long jumping from there
based on Zerg's numbers (too lazy to look it up myself right now),10+6 = 16 / 5 so jumped 3 spaces.
Deft Strike, moving to AQ52
not a chance

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

1 Die Roll Fire to begin whipping

Ow. Stupid freight carts running me over. I stood up and quickly blasted the tentacle holding Puyet with fire.

Stand from prone.
Blazing pursuit on Kraken. 10 + 11 = 21 < 24 I just keep missing.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

3 Dice Rolls *Yowza

Cal was actually running from the fight. What a noble creature. What a champion. What a dick.

"Hey octopus! Know any good fish jokes? Other than you, of course."

Inspiring word on self. Spend surge. Gain 19 life.
Lead the Attack. 24 dmg
Everybody except Cal gets +2 to hit till end of encounter.

I was speaking idiomatically.

10 Dice Rolls sworded

Come down from there, little changeling. First the orc has the scroll, now you have it. Possibly neither. Possibly this is all an elaborate ruse, a waste of my time. No matter. Time is something I have in plenty.

I won't climb the cliffs for you, shapeshifter. Not today or any day. But do you expect to stay on a cliff forever? Do you expect I will forget your insolence? Come here and die, while you still have the option of doing it quickly.

Glenn hurriedly escapes the disintegrating boat, making a flying leap for the docks. A quick shot goes wide, but Glenn is beginning to find escape more compelling than victory. Gra-fa-zut can barely get to his feet, let alone wound the Kraken.

A kuo-toa necromancer walks into a morgue. Says to the undertaker, "I need to buy a pound of fresh brains." Undertaker says to him "Alright, one pound of human brains, that's 50 gold crowns." Necromancer thinks about it for a minute.

"What about dwarf brains, any of those?" Undertaker says "Sure, a pound of dwarf brains. 45 crowns." The necromancer considers it. Money's kind of tight this month, so he decides quality isn't an issue.

"How much for orc?" Undertaker says "One pound of orc brains? That'll be 500 platinum pieces, up front." "What?! Why so much?", whines the necromancer.

"Do you have any idea how many dead orcs it takes to get a pound of brains?"

That was more of an orc joke in retrospect. And now I'm bleeding, which can only mean that your request for comedy was a ruse to distract me. Damn my foolish pride. It was a terrible joke, frankly I'm as angry at myself as I am angry at you.

The Kraken's upper body bulges suddenly, shattering the ice around it. The Kraken's huge bulk begins to gradually creep onto the wooden pier.

Now stand aside. If I can't reason with you, perhaps the burning one will be more receptive.

And with that, Gra-fa-zut is seized up. Puyet is tossed aside like a sack of garbage, narrowly avoiding a collision with Glenn thanks to the eladrin's quick thinking. Struggling against the tentacle, Gra-fa-zut manages to get a weak slash in as the Kraken was momentarily distracted with Puyet. They were wearing down the monster, but it might be wearing them down faster. Was everyone in Veltalar a coward? It couldn't be. Someone would come. Someone would help them.

Ideally, someone carrying a heavy-caliber pistol.

Kraken bloodied by Lead The Attack
Crushing Tentacles: 14 damage to Gra-fa-zut, grabbed
Fling: 8 damage to Puyet, prone; freed from grab
Aegis MBA: 6 damage to Kraken
Don't forget the +2 Zeph's giving you!

Cal 19, Glenn 18, Gra-fa-zut 5, Sam 27, Puyet 26, Kraken 25

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

5 Dice Rolls Quarry

There's gotta be some way I can whip up a hysterical mob whose sense of preservation is dwarfed by their moral outrage. Surely there would be some able-bodied parents somewhere around. It'd be sad if only a bunch of midgets would be willing to help.

A marketplace? Yes, I ought to find some volunteers here.

THE SQUID WILL MAKE OFF WITH YOUR CHILDREN!

IT'LL COME AFTER THEM IN THE NIGHT!

WE'RE NOT SAFE TILL ITS HEAD IS MOUNTED ON MY WALL!

I SAY WE KILL THE SQUID!

And to punctuate my clarion call, I decide to make the creature bleed some more.

Move to AC65 (19 squares away from Kraken for distance calculations).
Use Minor to rally up a mob. Dunno which check applies - Bluff, Streetwise, Diplomacy, or just plain Charisma.
Two-Fanged Strike with Kruthik arrows against Kraken. 9+1+7+2 = 19 damage.
Surely it has contracted Filth Fever by now?

Also, Lead the Attack was totally nerfed in the July 2010 errata. But I guess since Mr. Pang didn't update the card, he's gotta honor it

FELIPE NO

3 Dice Rolls hit snap

Glenn narrowly avoids Puyet's flying form as it comes toward him. His allies were having issues avoiding the kraken's attacks, but Glenn had yet to be so much as touched by the beast. Hopping over Puyet, Glenn moves in front of the kraken and fires bolt after electrified bolt into the monster, hoping to cover his allies as they regroup.

move to AQ46
Blinding Barrage, need 10+
miss, 7 damage
Snap Shot fail
total 7 lightning damage
plus 5 from the kraken's attack due to clever riposte

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

4 Dice Rolls Damagb

It would be FANTASTIC if this thing would stop grabbing me. Breaking out of its hold, I run toward the beast, leaping up in an attempt to grab on to the thing. As I landed on the beast, I slashed with my blade, smacking it with sound.

Athletics check to see if I get out of its grip. Athletics v. Fortitude; 18 + 10 = 28 > 26. FREE.
Minor to move to AS46 followed by a leap onto the thing. Hell yes.
Booming Blade on the Kraken. 11 + 11 + 2 + 2 = 26 > 24 HIT 8 + 6 = 14 damage
Ready Firepulse for the rest of the fight.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

5 Dice Rolls HIDE IN SHADOWS

I awoke with a start to the sound of a symphony playing in my head. Normally I think of myself as a cultured man, but this new band seemed to be all timpani, with a gong kicker. And I didn't go in for that new agey fusion crap. Saying my head ached would be saying a Dragonborn smelled a little off. It just didn't do it justice. My meeting with a new informant hadn't gone the way I wanted. In that I didn't want three half-orcs playing stickball with my melon. I patted my chest, making sure everything was in working order. A few ribs were bruised, but the important things were unbroken. I proved it by pulling the unscathed flask from an inner pocket and taking a long pull. I didn't like facing the world sober on a good day, and this wasn't a good day. I hadn't seen it yet, but the sounds of crashing wood and screaming people outside told me all I needed to know. I was alive. And that meant I needed a drink.

I kicked over the corpse of the half-orc collapsed on the floor next to me. Rifling through his pockets I found the two slugs I kept closest to my heart. One was a gun, I kept it loaded. The other a bottle, it kept me loaded. Another long drink and I felt solid enough to stand on my own. I felt the familiar firmness of my Harper pin against my chest. I hear there are people who don't wake up every day wondering if they're still alive in those first grey moments.

I hate those people.

With a groggy stagger I made my way towards the window of the small, dock-side shack my body was in. My mind was elsewhere. On a white dress that fit a pair of Eldarin get away sticks so perfectly it made me believe in Selune. Of course she'd betrayed me to a gang of thugs who beat me and took my purse, but really, if you got out of a relationship with a dame who looked like that and physical injury was all you had to sulk about, you'd gotten off easy. She looked like heaven, and as I glanced outside to see a gigantic squid throwing around the townsfolk I thought it made sense. Maybe this is hell.

I quickly affixed my arm shield over the hand clutching my repeating crossbow. I don't remember picking it up, but when you see your favourite appetizer rampaging towards you, instinct sometimes kicks in. In my other hand was Gladys. I liked Gladys. She had a big mouth and looked about as pretty as a Minotaur whore, but she always talked her way into the best parties.

Hidden from inside the shack, fire at Kraken with Dragon FP (16 + 13 = 29. HIT) Damage (11 + 7) = 18 + Sneak Attack (11) = 29

Gladys kicked like a mule, the numbness in my arm a familiar friend. Just like... well, I didn't really have friends anymore, but if I had them I'm sure I'd feel swell after a nice drink with them. Maybe his name would be Carl, and he'd be a construction worker. With a family. Yeah. I'm sure Carl would be a swell guy. I quickly switched weapons, juggling the two ranged weapons and quickly sent a bolt through the dissipating smoke Gladys had exhaled. Classy broad she was. I bet she even used one of those long filters. Like Kattarain Hep'burn in that play I'd seen. Don't look at me like that. Yes. I've seen a play. I also read a book once.

Use Battle Harness ability to swap to crossbow. Use Snapshot. MISS.

I couldn't see if the dart hit home. Even if it did, what the hell is a little bolt gonna do to Gojira anyway? I ducked down slightly and slid towards the door, deciding my best defense against a monstrosity like this was to not let it see me. Sometimes my tiny stature came in helpful. Like when fighting giant squids you could hide behind doors easier. Which I really wished I could say came up a lot less often than it actually did. On the plus side, I'd fully intended to spend my morning drunk and belligerent in a bar somewhere, and frankly drunk and fighting for my life was far more interesting. I couldn't help but smile just a little on the inside. But only on the inside.

Move to AO42, stealth check (10 + 13 = 23)

Use Dragon FP. Must reload.
29 damage to Kraken.
Use Snapshot. Miss. Spent for Encounter.
Wind up at AO42 with 23 stealth check.
TURN OVER.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

3 Dice Rolls small heart

The octopus attempted to throw Puyet, but for some reason, he merely floated back down to the ground. Must be all the Low Calorie Mutton and and Diet Mead. Puyet hated cats, but he imitated one anyways and landed on his feet.

"That joke wasn't very funny, octopus. You hurt my feelings. Not that I'm crying or anything. It's just the salt water, I swear."

Puyet moved in and took a nasty swing at the sea creature. He systematically guarded with his shield. He didn't want any more fish guts in his hair.

"Hey hot stuff! While you're up there, why don't you take a nice, steaming piss in that things eye! Just some advice. That's all."

Use Feyleaf Boots. Land at AS48. Prevent fall damage.
Shift to AT47.
Phalanx Assault. Hit. 22 dmg
Inspiring Word for GFZ. Spends one surge and gains 21 HP
GFZ gains +2 to AC and Reflex till end of my next turn.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Despite Cal's exhortations, the Veltalarans are no more inclined to risk their necks than before. The Kraken is making very little progress inland, if any; if it gets past the docks, then it'll be a civil defense issue. Until then, let the adventurers handle it. That's what they're for! Besides, the Kraken hadn't damaged anything except the outsiders and their boat; they must have done something to upset it.

Honestly I ought to ask for a jump check for those two fences Cal vaulted, not to mention the cow. But ehh.

Glenn begins to simmer with a mild resentment. He'd taken the risk of carrying the real scroll on his person, only to have the Kraken practically ignore him. It was insulting. What was the point of being brave and foolhardy if nothing dangerous actually happens to you?

Sick and tired of being grabbed and tossed around, Gra-fa-zut searches for the Kraken's blind spot. There was only one obvious place the beast wouldn't be able to reach him; directly above itself. Bereft of a ledge or any flight spells, the swordmage gets into position the only way he can. With a flying leap he digs his sword deep into the Kraken's head, using the leverage to maneuver atop the creature.

An ear-ringing shot blares out of the old warehouse behind Glenn, loud as a cannonade. The heavy lead shot whistled past his ear, and he whirled around only to see a silhouette in the window sink out of sight. The bullet slammed into the Kraken with a wet splatter like a drunk taking one rooftop stroll too many.

Simultaneously struggling with trying to dislodge Gra-fa-zut, locate the shooter, and dig out the bullet, the Kraken is rapidly running out of tentacles to actually apply to combat. This last task isn't going so well; tentacles aren't designed for matters of fine manual dexterity. That bullet's staying put, most likely: none of the aquatic races are known for their surgeons. The Kraken's massive bulk seems to heave in a sigh, and it stares Glenn in the eye.

Very well, bipeds. You win. In the space of a few short minutes, you have stabbed, bludgeoned, and shot me. Poisoned. Electrocuted. The changeling shot TEETH at me. This is — I withdraw. You have no idea what it is you carry, but you clearly want it more than I do. There will be other times, other scrolls.

The changeling, however, I do not forgive.

And with that, the Kraken slowly sinks into the waters of the harbor, drifting out to sea until it's barely visible as a dark shape beneath the waves. Gra-fa-zut clings tenaciously to the beast, hacking away until he can hold his breath no longer. The Kraken seems no closer to death than before, and with regret the swordmage kicks free and makes for the surface. A single tentacle suddenly darts upward, brushing against his ankle and then, seemingly, thinking better of it. The Kraken vanishes into the briny abyss without another word.

He breaks the surface, gasping. There's a halfling standing on the docks who wasn't there before, looking out at the ocean with a thousand-yard stare. He mutters something under his breath, but everyone's ears are still ringing.

Victory! 2500 XP (500 each)

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Unable to rally anybody to the cause, I cautiously edge closer to the docks, hoping to put another shot between the Kraken's gigantic eye. Imagine my surprise when I saw it withdraw, swearing unforgiveness to my person.

Well, I better stay away from ships and docks from now on.

We have done it, we have delivered the scroll to its destination. Well, not quite yet - there's still the actual handover to be done. But I can't wait for it. The old bones have been aching for quite some time - exacerbated by the heavy load I foolishly carried in Thunderspire Mountain. The record sprint I embarked on a few minutes ago? The straw that broke the camel's back.

It's time for this changeling to hang up his Adventurer's credentials. And since I am no longer willing to carry what I have been carrying so far, I decide to parcel it to my fellow adventurers.

"Oh, hello there, shorty. Didn't see you. Here, have some alcohol

Quart of Plum Brandy

10x Flasks of Ale

Ounce of pipeweed

for no good reason. My gift to you."

"Half-Orc, your breath stinks and you've been stealing funds from the group and lying about it. Still, you've been handy as a meat shield. Take these

The Monster at the End of this Book

Everburning Torch

String of glass beads

Knucklebone set

in remembrance of me."

"Gra-fa-zut, your valorous attempt to attack the squid by charging it has touched my heart. Take this pendant

with my blessings. May it serve you well as it served my alter-egos."

"Glenn, you are by far the braver and better striker. These

Footpads

Thieves' Tools

Climber's Kit

will make you a bit more effective in your acts of legerdemain. This

will help boost your vision, while this

will greatly enhance your mobility. Stay well, and I hope you find your drow friend soon."

I finally take my true form

- all sixty years of it. There was a time when I could shapeshift away a few wrinkles, a gray hair, any and all signs of aging. That time is now past.

I will be taking Garr with me. Perhaps someone around here knows how to raise the dead. Every minute counts, and I can't do this while hiring out my services any more. If Garr's spirit is unwilling to return, I plan to bury him as befits such a noble fighter.

What happens next? I plan to reinvest my earnings into creating a subcontracting guild for mercenaries, with Veltara as the home base. With it, I can get my revenge on Geoff of Lamid

Two names appeal to me - The Society for Quick Ultrapowerful Individuals of Doom, or Fabulous Adventurers' Guild of Sellswords. Which one to choose? Well, there's time. There's always time.

______

And so, Cal Amah of Rhee somberly leaves G-Unit, carting with him his belongings, as well as the corpse of his comrade Garrmondo Alkatraz, still clad in his Black Iron Scale Mail, with his trusty bastard sword and lucky safewing amulet by his side. The rest of the human fighter's belongings were simply too bulky to carry.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I kicked open the door, drawing my rapier and pressing Gladys into her holster between my shoulder blades. My fingers twitched on the hilt in annoyance as I watched the Calimari sink under the waves, my planned entertainment for the day quickly fleeing the scene. The situation called for swearing.

So I did.

Sliding away the pushpin and my peashooter, I took a moment to pick up my hat from the ground, brush it off, adjust my hair and set it on my head. I must have dropped it in my haste to get beaten within an inch of my life last night. Just like me. Always in a rush. Never time to slow down and smell the roses. With a shrug I wandered towards the water's edge to watch one of the corpses bob to the surface. Imagine my surprise as it started swimming. Corpses, in my experience, didn't always just lie there. Maybe this guy was an aquatic zombie. I'd run into a horde of those in a cave outside Luruar once. It was like being mauled to death by a wet dog. The only thing I've ever found that smells worse than a half-orc after a week long bender.

At least the zombies were better conversationalists.

Some old man insulted my height, but before I could punch him in the face to show my appreciation, he handed me a bottle. Clever bastard. Knew my one weakness. Well one of my weaknesses. The point is I still needed a drink. I took one off my flask as I glanced over my shoulder and noticed another two half-orc corpses collapsed near the shack. That explained why I wasn't dead. I wondered if I was responsible. I'd heard I was pretty impressive when I was beaten unconscious.

I smelled the air. It reeked of bloody, rotting fish. But this city always did. Adjusting my hat I looked back up the stairs towards where I knew my office was. I had a long day of sitting in a chair under a slowly rotating fan, drinking myself into a stupor and wondering why that beautiful dame walked into my office ahead of me. Busy busy.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Glenn breathes a sigh of relief as the kraken retreats into the sea. They had made it through, and not much worse for wear, either. Watching Gra-fa-zut break the surface of the water, Glenn turns around, only to find a bunch of the Changeling's stuff sitting at his feet and the halfling who almost shot him wandering off into the city. Glenn thought about going after him, but remembered that he had other things to be doing. Picking up the equipment left by Cal, Glenn waits for the Genasi to get out of the water. Suddenly curious about what he could be delivering that could be important enough for a kraken to come after it, Glenn takes a closer look at the precious cargo.

Pick up Cal's old stuff.
Equip boots and goggles.

FELIPE NO

Drowning isn't fun. Thankfully, I managed to get up topside before that thing was able to grab me one last time. I just wish we had been able to kill this damn thing. Seems like our enemies had been running away quite often, recently. Swimming up would've been easier if I had been manifesting watersoul, but whatever. Finally pulling myself up onto the dock, I watched as the changling left, after showing us his "true" form. Good riddance, I thought. Changlings aren't worth much of anything, to be honest, although this particular bastard was nice enough to give me a dangly thing. I put it on as I joined the eldarin in finally examining the tube with the scroll. Hopefully I would be able to reach the pub soon. I needed a drink.

Equip pendant.
Arcana check on scroll.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I glanced back from my staring at the cityscape long enough to see two of the mutts poring over some sort of tube. I walked up, adjusting my hat to drown out the sun in more hangover friendly shade. I never trust a person who doesn't look like they're in pain when the light hits their eyes. It means they don't drink. And if they don't drink it means they think they're better than me. So they need a good sock in the ol' Rudolph. This is a personal belief that has led to me punching several blind ladies on the schnoz. Small price to pay, I figure.

I glanced from one to the other, stopping to stare at the Genasi for a second.

"Hey Pally. Someone gave you a nasty hotfoot. Might want to see to that."

That joke never got old. So I laughed. Because it was funny. I'm a funny guy. Not everyone gets that about me at first glance. I looked at the tube, wondering what the hell was in it. So I asked.

"What's in the tube?"

Eloquent in its brevity. I'm an eloquent guy. Not everyone gets that about me at first glance.

I figured if I was on fire, I would probably want a drink. So I tossed my flask at him, aiming for one of the bits not going up like the fireplace on a cold morning. I left it unsaid that if he burned out the alcohol in there, he'd have to refill it with something equally cheap and painful to drink. No one drinks because they like it. You drink because you hate yourself, and goddamnit the booze should be a constant reminder of that. Only dwarves and ladies drank soda pop like Ale.

"Samwise ShadowSpade, by the way. You fellas get in boxing matches with fish often, do you?"

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Puyet snorted as the changeling left with not much subtlety. He scooped up the garbage Cal had tried to pass off to him and pocketed it. It would at least be worth a beer and a broad at the tavern, which he was yearning for at the moment.

Looking back toward the boat, Puyet stares at the shambling mess. It would probably cost more to fix it than to buy a new one, and it was the Guard's problem at this point. With all the cracks in the hull, he wouldn't be surprised to see it sunken by the next sunrise.

"There's probably still reward to claim concerning that package. There is still daylight left, and I'm betting we could make the embassy by that time. I'd be happy to tell you all about my fish recipes if you give us some directions."

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Glenn looks down at the short fellow who had decided to return. He wasn't sure what to think about the halfling - on one hand, he had helped in the fight against the kraken - on the other, an inch to the side and he would have been on the other side of that fight, and Glenn would never have found Rose. Rolling his eyes as Sam laughed at his own questionably funny joke, Glenn continues to pore over the tube.


"We've certainly had more fish related trouble than I'd like of late. The man the changeling carried off was a good friend. Though if it had simply been a boxing match, he'd still be with us. Are we to assume you'll be joining us for a while? This group seems to have that effect on people. I'm Glenn. The fiery one is Gra-Fa-Zut, and this Half-Orc we call Puyet."


Glenn proceeds to fill Sam in on the events leading up to their meeting with the kraken, asking if there was an inn nearby where they could rest their feet once they had decided what to do with the tube.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

"I don't know that I'm planning to go anywhere with anyone here, chum. Not really in the habit of wandering off with strange men."

I adjusted my hat and glanced over at where the dead guy had disappeared with the not-dead guy.

"My mom taught me that. And sorry to hear about your friend. Walking out your front door in this world can be a dangerous thing; doubly so in this city."

I considered for a long moment before I spoke further. Taking the time to pull out a cigar as wide as my head from inside a pocket. I was relieved to see it hadn't gotten soggy with blood or sea water. I may like my booze cheap, but I loved my cigars expensive. A few quick pats showed my lighter was nowhere to be found. Alchemical lighters were expensive, damnit. Nothing was ever easy.

With a shrug, I leaned over and used the Genasi to burn the tip to life. A couple thick billows of smoke later and I finally answered his question.

"Plenty of Inns, but not many that won't ask questions of a group that brought a giant squid to the party, if you know what I'm getting at."

I glanced over at the man named Puyet. The one who had talked about getting a reward. I liked rewards. Rewards could be goods, or services. Or money I could trade towards goods or services. I liked goods and services.

"Me, on the other hand, friend, I have some pull in this little slice of Hell. Including an office the local leos mostly leave alone. Plenty of room for friends of mine to sleep. Friends who cut me in on reward money, especially. They might even get towels. Friends who are down two shares already. Seems to me if they cut someone in, they're still coming out ahead. Whole thing seems to be coming up Roses."

I blew a smoke ring, to emphasize my point. Who knows, maybe this day was getting better after all.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?