[DnD] Crusader (GFF D&D Adventure 2)

I moved the chest to see if there was anything underneath it, not holding out much hope. I then retrieved a few of the rocks with my mage hand and chucked them into the room with the locked chest, to see if the floor would collapse or anything.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Bob plumbs deeper, yea, beneath the chest. Surely some glittering prize must be afoot. And behold! A shimmering, shining gleam! The telltale sparkle of precious lucre! At last! Bob holds his reward up to the light to examine it clearly for the fine and fabulous thing it must surely be.

It's a rock.

Oh well, better than nothing.

Bob then tosses one of the heavier rocks into the room with the locked chest, hoping to trigger any traps from a safe distance. Nothing untoward occurs. The floor of the room, at least, is safe.

Most amazing jew boots

Feeling deeply guilty over taking away the man-golem's joy of lever-pulling , I relax awhile, since broken legs and acid burns seem to heal with just a little time.

When I feel up to the task, I go back to the hidden door and hide behind the wall, addressing the voice I heard from there earlier.

"'ey you, still want your keystone?"

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Argumentus wasn't about to let any other lucre go to waste. Waste not want not, as the priestesses would say before delivering a brutal whipping.

He investigates the chest.

Most amazing jew boots

The dwarf glanced at the mage and questioned: "Hey, is that an augmenting whetstone? Well that's useful at least."

Stretching as he became slightly bored with the whole "everything is trying to murder us" thing, he glanced over at the broken cleric and inquired as to her health before he rubbed his brow and looked around with a sigh. There had to be a keystone somewhere. Maybe those statues. And with that he wandered over to them and started tapping them with his throwing hammer. Maybe one was hollow. Or something.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I didn't know why the dwarf was looking around for keystones, since (despite my earlier confusion which resulted from being dropped into a pool of acid) I was able to secure the ruby and it didn't look good for anything else.

Or did it?

How ya doing, buddy?

"OH. YES. THE. KEYSTONE. JUST. SLIP. IT. UNDER. THE. DOOR. AND. I. WILL. LEAVE. YOU. ALONE. OH. KEYSTONE. THE. WONDERFUL. TIMES. WE. WILL. HAVE. HOW. I'VE. MISSED. YOU."

The snake's metal tongue rattles around in its mouth unpleasantly.

Brigid's surges -3, HP +23

Argumentus investigates the locked chest. It has, in contravention of all expectations, remained totally and utterly locked since the last time somebody looked at it. In additions to all the heavy chains and padlocks, the entire box is coated with an airtight resin seal. Whatever might be in there, somebody wanted very much to keep it from getting out.

Gabriel wanders around abusing statues for no obvious reason.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

All of life's creatures should know the joys of freedom.

Argumentus begins bashing the locks.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

"Now what'll I get for such trading of resources? I ain't runnin' a charity, here."

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The dwarf slid away his hammer and unsheathed his axe, muttering under his breath as he eyed up those dogs.

"Oh, for Kord's sake" he began "Just give the wizard the jewel and let him use that magic hand thing to do something other than throw me into a pit for a change."

I was speaking idiomatically.

"HOW. SHOULD. I. KNOW. I. MENTIONED. ALREADY. THAT. I. CAN'T. LEAVE. THIS. CRUMMY. LITTLE. ROOM. THERE. IS. PROBABLY. SOME. BORING. WIZARD. JUNK. BACK. THERE. IT'S. NOT. REALLY. MY. BUSINESS."

Argumentus releases the wonderful surprise hidden away inside the box. The surprise is poisonous gas. The box is otherwise empty.

17 damage to Argumentus

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf glanced over and rolled his eyes as the gas erupted in Argumentus' face. He smirked and slapped Mots in the shoulder.

"A gold piece says he tries to fight the empty box."

Gabriel was feeling antsy. He was no great thinker. He was the wrathful fist of Kord's vengeance. Frankly he was considering going to fight those tinker toy dogs just so he would feel, you know. Useful. As it stood he may as well tattoo the name Mots on his forehead and take up loitering, as useful as he was being. He laughed to himself and turned to tell the joke to the closest individual. But then he realised it was Mots. And the Warlord probably wouldn't find it quite as funny as he did.

"Right. Where are we with the magic placing of that gem?"

He yelled across the room at the door what has a snake-rock behind it.

"Oi. You there. In the room. Who talks like... well, I don't know what you talk like. A golem of some sort. You're probably a golem. Anyway, you in there. How does this work? Can we come in there so long as we HAVE the keystone? Or do we like, have to throw the keystone at you to keep from dying? I just want to get these rules in place. I mean, I don't want to give you the keystone if you're going to try and bite our heads off halfway to the holder-thing. You know. I just think its fair."

He cleared his throat and then added, as an afterthought: "O. And did you kill three other teams of people or so? I hear we're not the first to come looking through your crappy no-fun house."

FELIPE NO

"I. HAVEN'T. SEEN. ANYBODY. ELSE. AIN'T. NOBODY. HERE. BUT. US. HOMUNCULI. JUST. TOSS. THE. RUBY. IN. AND. WE'LL. CALL. IT. EVEN. I. WILL. NOT. BOTHER. YOU. AS. I. WILL. BE. BUSY. GETTING. MY. GROOVE. ON. RUBY. STYLE."

The snake makes that discomfiting rattling noise with its tongue again.

"I. GIVE. YOU. MY. SOLEMN. VOW. AS. A. GIANT. ROBOT. SNAKE. TRUST. ME."

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

"Let's take a shot. This guy seems legit."

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The rush of gas causes Argumentus to vomit into the box, leaving a pleasant surprise for its owner.

Argumentus rests again

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Motsognir had been thinking quietly to himself

, and, and always, was late to the action because of it.

Arriving suddenly at the immediate situation, Motsognir was confused and at a loss. He walked over to behind the blond woman and threw his throwing hammer at the metal snake, assuming we had already engaged it in combat.

Throw hammer at snake

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The dwarf blinked as his shoulder slap brought Mots back to reality.

"You know, I think we need to give that thing the ruby before we get the sword."

He shrugged.

"Just sayin"

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

BONK

"THIS. IS. NOT. A. RUBY. BUT. I. AM. NOT. OPPOSED. TO. BETWEEN. MEAL. SNACKING."

CRUNCH, CRUNCH

"OM. NOM. NOM. OM. NOM."

Most amazing jew boots

The dwarf looked around for a few seconds as the group settled into stunned silence. He cleared his throat as the moment lingered from a passing moment into that awkward length of time that happens after someone tells a dead baby joke at a table that includes a woman who had a miscarriage a few weeks prior, but no one wants to say anything or draw attention to it. So it's just really awkward.

"All right. I know I'm not the only one thinking about it, but now I kind of want to throw the mage at it and see what happens."

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I spent several minutes examining the shiny rock. I could sense that it was in some way magical but I'd be buggered if I could work out what it did. I tossed it to the ugly dwarf, surmising that given his race's predeliction for mining he could probably find a use for a lump of rock.

Returning to the others and the big metal snake thing, I used my mage hand to move the big ruby into the room, very slowly and then followed it in, a step at a time.

FELIPE NO

Gabriel tossed the whetstone into the most convenient place he could find. The lower jaw of his skull-stick.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Bob gradually maneuvers the ruby into the snake's chamber, keeping a safe distance away. As the ruby enters the cobra's effective range, the snake darts forward and snaps it out of the air, retreating to a corner with its prize. Slapping the far wall with its tail, the snake knocks ajar a previously-secret door.

"CRUNCH. CRUNCH. CRUNCH. MMM. IT. TASTES. SO. SWEET. RUBIES. ARE MY FAVORITE."

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Throwing caution to the wind, I crossed the room and made for the newly opened door, stopping little distance into the next room as I could manage whilst still being technically out of the snake room.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Argumentus accepts his role as meat puppet and shields Bob as he enters the secret room.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The secret door opens on what seems to be the late Finagill's library and workshop. A hulking desk strewn with tomes and scrolls dominates the center of the room, and bookshelves stand all along the northern wall. In the room's southwest corner stands an ornate mirror, and a table in the southeast is covered with various flasks, powders and pestles. A heavy workbench stands in the northeast, but it is bare. An ordinary wooden door (painted in stony colours for presumably aesthetic reasons) leads south, and hangs slightly ajar.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?