GFF Risk 10: The One Where Tritoch Doesn't Win

6 Dice Rolls utah 3

Let's try this one more time.

Got Idaho and New Mexico. Should've expected that i wouldn't get any more, but i tried. EB used.

bah. before the money goes to other people i'll tank Utah.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

4 Dice Rolls Pennsylvania

Attacking New York (lost)
Attacking New York (won)
Attacking New Jersey (won)
Attacking Pennsylvania (lost)

+3 for three successful attacks
+5 as I believe I was a warlord when that started.

Ah, to have a better than average turn.

Actually, Tank to Pennsylvania so I don't have to depend on Rock to stop Warlord status.

I was speaking idiomatically.

4 Dice Rolls Oklahoma 2

Araes, you have to have 9 adjoining states in order to have Warlord status. You had the numbers, just not the adjoining part.

As for my turn, I'll start off with an attack on Missouri.

Next is Oklahoma.

Well, so my turn won't be a complete waste, I'll use the Tanks I have on Oklahoma and buy some more to use on Texas.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

6 Dice Rolls Louisiana

Time to hop aboard the Turnip Train.

I'll begin by attacking the unoccupied Tennessee and Mississippi 3 times.

Seeing as that failed, I'll use an Energy Boost and attack Arkansas and Louisiana.

Louisiana stubbornly refuses to fall, so I'll use my one Tank and purchase another Tank to take Louisiana and Mississippi.

I've also given everyone their 5 gil for the next round.

FELIPE NO

5 Dice Rolls Iowa Atomic Bomb

Attacking Wyoming.

Again.

Again.

Oklahoma.

Buying Atomic Bomb.

Atomic Bomb on Iowa.

Taking over Iowa, Minnesota, South Dakota.

Most amazing jew boots

Updated Hawkeye's gil with 8 extra Warlord bonus (KrelEN only had 3 to give).

Jam it back in, in the dark.

4 Dice Rolls wy 4

I'll start with Wyoming and then Colorado. Not getting my hopes up for more than one win

How i got to being a warlord with rolls like these is beyond me

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Updated Araes' gil, since somehow he became a Warlord with his Northeast states.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

5 Dice Rolls Tennessee

Eh, what the hell. The Marylanders look up to see nuclear fire in their skies.

Buying / Using Atomic Bomb on Maryland.

Holy Crap.

I take Delaware, Virginia, and West Virginia also.

Attacking D.C. (lost)

Attacking D.C. (won)

Attacking Ohio (won)

Attacking Tennessee (won)

Got my wish I guess.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

4 Dice Rolls Iowa 3

Minnesota first.

Iowa next.

Fine, Tanks to Iowa and South Dakota.

Also, trading Oklahoma to Nutty for Arkansas.

I was speaking idiomatically.

6 Dice Rolls Nebraska #3

Confirming trade of Arkansas to Rockgamer for Oklahoma.

Attacking Kansas x2 and Nebraska x2.

Since that didn't go as well as I would have hoped, I'll purchase an Energy Boost and attack Colorado and Nebraska again.

Since Nebraska refuses to fall, I'll use a Tank against it.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

6 Dice Rolls COLORADO(I HOPE THIS IS RIGHT)

FUCKIN LAST STAND AND SHIT

FUCKIN ATTACKIN MONTANA

oops, attacking montana again because i'm fucktarded and i hit 6 instead of 10 oh god what am I i hope that does not count against me

FUCKIN ATTACKIN IDAHO

FUCKIN ATTACKIN UTAH FUCK YEAH MORMONS N SHIT

JUST REALISED I DID 1D6 FOR IDAHO, TOO, I'M NOT DRUNK AT 4 PM I PROMISE

FUCK YOU COLORADO FUCKIN WENT SKIING IN YOU AND SHIT BUT YOU WERE ALL FUCK NO WON'T SELL BOOZE ON A SUNDAY FUCK YOU

WELL SHIT

Most amazing jew boots

10 Dice Rolls texas

Alright. Let's do this. Buying an Energy Boost and Ninjas. If this doesn't work, so help me.

Attacking Montana, Utah, Wyoming.

... wow. That's new. I'm actually getting somewhere. ummm... I'm not sure what to do now.

Let's try Colorado, South Dakota, and Nebraska.

Actually while I've still got the ninjas, let's buy another EB with KrelEN's money.

let's try Oklahoma and Texas this time...



Awesome. Karmic retribution is in full effect. That's what you get for messing with my tuba wielding ninjas.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

4 Dice Rolls Kentucky 4

Is the current 22 with taking Nutty's gil already? Cool, thanks for the quick reply.

Attacking Kentucky (lost)
Attacking Kentucky (lost)
Attacking Kentucky (lost)

Haha, apparently Hawkeye took the good rolls. Ah well, one more.

Attacking Kentucky (won)

Guess 4th times the charm.

Most amazing jew boots

Yes, that includes your Warlord bonus.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

4 Dice Rolls New Mexico

Eh, I know I don't stand a chance at winning at this point, but no one bows out of Risk gracefully. So now it's time to attack as I flail my arms wildly.

First attack on Oklahoma.

Next, gotta reclaim the homeland (Texas).

And eh, why not, New Mexico.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

4 Dice Rolls Pennsylvania

Time to launch my final assault as well.

I'll attack Ohio, West Virginia x2, and Pennsylvania.

This game is drawing to a close. We'll go 2 more turns to give Hawkeye and Araes a chance to battle it out for first place. I've adjusted the gil to include the daily 5, and Warlord payouts for Hawkeye and Araes both.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by nuttyturnip

I've adjusted the gil to include the daily 5, and Warlord payouts for Hawkeye and Araes both.

Okay, I have to ask when did the rule change to give out payments for Warlord status at the beginning of the day rather than at the beginning of someone's turn as the rules state? Not that it matters this late in the game, but it would have helped people out earlier, and at the same time it's kinda unfair to those whose turn is at the beginning of a rotation as opposed to those whose turn is at the end of a rotation.

(Or I could just be reading too much into it and you're just giving it to Araes now because you're lazy)

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Rockgamer

(Or I could just be reading too much into it and you're just giving it to Araes now because you're lazy)

This. Hawkeye's turn is up, so of course he gets the Warlord bonus. Araes comes next, and I don't see any way that Hawkeye could stop him from being a Warlord, so I went ahead and gave him the bonus.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

4 Dice Rolls neb 2

Oops, sorry, didn't see that it was my turn.

Attacking Oklahoma, Texas, Nebraska.

FELIPE NO

4 Dice Rolls Ohio

Apologies on the delay, as mentioned in the Wheel of Fortune thread, I had some unexpected work travel hit me. Taking the turn now.

Attacking Pennsylvania (lost)
Attacking Pennsylvania (lost)
Attacking Pennsylvania (won)
Attacking Ohio (won)

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

4 Dice Rolls Minnesota

Attacking Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi and Minnesota.

What's with my luck lately? This is totally bizarre.

Most amazing jew boots

Since this game is winding down, what's your secret Hawkeye, Araes? Any secret alliances you guys struck?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Zergrinch

Since this game is winding down, what's your secret Hawkeye?

Maybe it's attacking out of turn, since it's Rockgamer's turn at the moment. Hawkeye's last post doesn't count.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Well isn't that convenient.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?