[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

Attack goblin, reaping strike, mighty rage etc.,

Most amazing jew boots

well you killed that guy I guess

victory probably

825 XP, that's like 165 XP each or something that like

geez

I was speaking idiomatically.

Motsognir looked at each member of the party, one at a time, in what was clearly some form of irritation. "I am going to sleep now," he said. "You can keep going if you want, but I'll be right here, sleeping peacefully. You can sleep too, if you're into sleeping, but that's what I'm doing, so there."

He sat down, crossed his arms, frowned severely, and closed his eyes.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Kord, why were all dwarves, except him, such grumpy bastards. I mean really, stop living up to the stereotypes.

Instead of sleeping, he decided to loot corpses and explore the room for signs of some cup thing or INVISIBLE DOORS TO WONDERFUL THINGS.

How ya doing, buddy?

And Argumentus looked upon the carnage that he had created, and he saw that it was good.
And he rested on the seventh day, from all the carnage he had done.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

A rest does sound mighty fine. Can't say I don't miss the comforts of home; a fine footbath, setting my hair for the night, a stout nightcap. But I am no soft city woman; I hail from the real Nepezin*, not from the northern Nepezin where powerful men live cheaply, away from the hills of capitol where they work. I can be happy in cold halls or on hard floors. The chill only angers up my rheumatiz but sometimes, and I'm sure I can scare up a cure somewhere around here. There must be some reason why these people mill about deep underground, and sobreity isn't one of them.

* roughly translated, Pure or Virgin Land

Jam it back in, in the dark.

lewts:

leather armor: 4
chainmail: 2
shortswords: 3
hand crossbows: 3
bolts: 40
battleaxes: 2
skull-on-a-stick (with bees in its mouth and when it barks it shoots bees at you)(1)

Gabe doesn't find anything particularly secretive on his searching attempt.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf quickly picked up the skull on a stick and strapped it to his armoured back, so it looked over his shoulder and bounced around as an aide to Murray. He will call him Thomas. He also inspected the battleaxes to see if they were anything special. If not, he'll use one of them to sweep down his throwing hammer and stick it in his belt.

How ya doing, buddy?

Gabe secures the skull-on-a-stick to his broad back. It bounces around gently as Gabe examines the quite-ordinary goblin weapons and retrieves his hammer. Then, as he secures his hammer back in its belt loop, the skull creaks forward ever so slightly. Its jaw creaks open (disgorging several dozen dead bees) and whispers, in a voice only Gabriel can hear:

"Feed me carrots."

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

As a Paladin, Gabriel was accustomed to hearing voices. This didn't upset him in the least.

"Anyone got any carrots?" He paused. "No? No carrots? All right."

He glanced around the room, this time looking for something he could use as a light source once the one in his beard ran out. "I'll have to get you carrots later, Thomas. Right now I need to find a light." He glanced over his shoulder. "S'alright?"

"S'alright."

I was speaking idiomatically.

Our foes were vanquished and the fashion concious dwarf did the rounds of the bodies, looking for loot or even food as far as I could tell. He seemed to struggling somewhat in the gloom so I tossed him my sunrods, having no need of them myself thanks to my light spell.

The Horde appeared to be bedding down again, I had never known a group to sleep so much. I figured it must be a side effect of their recent reanimation. Not fancying sleeping on the floor in a wide open room with multiple entrances, I attempted again to climb up to the ledge, both to find a more secluded sleeping spot and to find out exactly how the goblin archer had alerted his friends.

How ya doing, buddy?

After several abortive and painful attempts, Bob manages at last to scramble atop the high ledge. Following the ledge over the east where the sharpshooter had run to sound the alarm, Bob discovers the ledge continues a good 10 feet beyond the room's eastern wall. The ledge terminates in the room from which the reinforcements had entered, replete with a still-crackling fire, piled furs, and... a large, sturdy ladder leading from the ledge to the floor.

The ledge also seems to continue beyond the west wall, but the gap on that end is clotted with a clumsily-assembled barrier of stones and fresh mortar.

Leading southward from atop the ledge is a broad staircase leading down toward heavy iron doors.

How ya doing, buddy?

Smiling at my god fortune, I climbed down the ladder, wrapped myself in a fur and settled down to sleep in front of the fire.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Having found the light he needed, he tipped Murray towards the mage and went wandering around the corner, finally settling down on the opposite side of the fire from the mage and catching some much needed rest.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

You are now Well Rested!

Day 4

Gabe's current sunrod burns out, everyone eats a ration, everyone regenerates all power uses and reverts to possession of one action point. Hurray!

And, just for clarification's sake, an action point gives you a free action, not an entire free turn. You know who you are.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf woke up, struck another sunrod and braided it into his beard. Adjusted Thomas and Murray, and then set off up the ladder to take a look down that hallway, glancing around the wall rather than stepping in front of it.

How ya doing, buddy?

I awoke to find that the ugly dwarf had joined me while I slept. I found it quite endearing that it would feel most comfortable sleeping near it's master. It occured to me that I had no idea whether this dwarf was male or female (Or at least had been male or female before it's untimely demise, I was unaware of whether gender distinctions counted in undeath) nor indeed how one could tell the difference. I was becoming more attached to the little chap as the days wore on but obviously I didn't want anyone to assume I was one of those elves. If I wore eyeliner it was strictly a fashion statement and in no way indicative of a preference for bed fellows of my own sex.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and got up, performing my morning stretches, certain that the day would bring further exertion. The dwarf was examining the onward corridor but I was more interested in what looked like a hastily constructed barrier at the far end of the ledge. First things first though, I applied our victory tag to the wall up on the ledge, clear for all to see.

I then moved to examine the western end of the ledge, looking to see how much effort it might take on behalf of the horde to break through the wall.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I rose well before the others in the room. Ain't surprisin' that the lazy dwarf was still asleep, he'd as soon as sleep in til noon if we could see what time it was. The big man-golem was also still snoozin'. I betcha he forgot about yesterday...

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP, GIANT GOLEM!" I commensed to hollerin' and kickin' him about the head and shoulders, certain that he wouldn't feel much if any pain but dagnabbit, I will have satisfaction. I tried to shake him but he was mighty heavy, and I reckon any more will anger the beast. I then noticed the fancy city lady balancing on the ledge as if she were one'a dem fancy dress girls. Now how did she get up that way...?

Oh, there's an entire other room I forgot to check! I don't suppose there's any danger that ways, otherwise I would'a woke up and show these whippersnappers how we in the hills take out the trash. So I went in the room and saw just the darndest thing - a nice cozy bonfire and the finest furs you ever did see in such a dungeon. Why, that fancy...

Well, I don't strictly need soft furs and warm bonfires to get my rest, but I ain't no fool. I commense to rollin' up a fur to put in my sack; who knows how cold it'll get further down.

After that I climb up the ladder to see what else was transpirin'.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Motsognir woke up and climbed up the ledge, as it seemed like the thing to do. Everyone else was doing it.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by GRUN-3

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP, GIANT GOLEM!"

Argumentus awoke to the buzzing sound of an insect around his ears. He stretched out and went to join pretty lady lookin at masonry.

FELIPE NO

The hallway (also known informally as a stairwell) descends from the ledge down to floor level, terminating in a pair of iron doors. Further information about the doors is not known. Additional reports as they surface.

The shoddy masonry seems likely to collapse under any pressure heavier than an open-handed slap. The barrier is ridden with gaps, but nothing is visible beyond but a floor of the same grey stone from which the ledge is composed.

Occasionally a heavy splashing sound emerges from the direction of the barricaded room, like that of an ogre in a wading pool.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

In my old age, I forgot that no one bothered to scour the bonfire room for any treasure (hidden or not), hidden doorways, cubbyholes, and whatnot, so I commence to searchin'.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Motsognir was sick of nothing happening, so he picked up his throwing hammer, stood as far away from the half-assed mortar wall as he could, and then threw the hammer at it, hoping he could knock it down from a safe distance. Anything will be better than all this pussyfooting, he thought.

How ya doing, buddy?

There is nothing of particular note hidden in the east chamber other than the big honking obvious ladder that nobody found until after the fight was over. It is an extremely basic room of no unique details or any reason to closely examine it whatsoever.

Motsognir grows impatient with the detailed inspection of a bunch of fuckin' rocks and flicks a hammer past Bob. The barrier crumbles abruptly, throwing up dust and revealing... well, pretty much exactly what you'd expect.

Most amazing jew boots

Woohoo! A secret tunnel!

Barely able to restrain my excitment, I scurried to the corner and took a sneaky peek round, using all the stealth at my disposal.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?