[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

It was clear to Motsognir that no one else wanted to go to bed. Reluctantly, he got up and trotted after Argumentus.

How ya doing, buddy?

I'll examine the northern corridor for hidden rooms or treasure or you know another Orc leader.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

While the horde rifled through the dead bodies and searched for more secret doors, I decided that such a glorious victory should not be left anonymous. I busied myself drawing an elaborate tag on the wall above the dead orc leader using the neverending chalk the kobolds had given us.



This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The upper corridor leads back to the stairway room and is otherwise unremarkable and devoid of detail and I don't feel like rendering it.

The dead orcs have an assortment of low-quality gear: 3 sets leather armor, 5 sets hide, a few clubs. Motsognir, by engaging in mid-battle poaching, has swiped the only valuable item they possessed.

Argumentus peeks through the southern doorway, which lies open (if a bit crowded with orc bodies). As he sticks his head between the doors, a crossbow bolt thumps into the door beside him.

Then another.

On the other end of a broad chamber, a goblin with a crossbow jeers from atop a 10' ledge.

"You're not an orc! Bring the orcs back! They were funny!"

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

"I funny! What you call nig nog in suit?"

"uh"

"I forget."

I was speaking idiomatically.

I reckon it's best if I go see what's transpirin' down south. Seems I'm more valuable at killin' than at savin', what with havin' no healing spells and all.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf wandered off with Argumentus after picking up his throwing axe and yawning slightly.

"I didn't see no cup. You see a cup?"

FELIPE NO

"Oooooh, the cup!" shouts the goblin. "Yeah, the uh, whatchacallit, Green Chalice of Guppies. We don't have that, it's down in Sub-Basement 3. You gotta hang a left, up the ladder, down the stairs, turn right..."

A voice to his right interrupts him, and he confers with it for a moment.

"Oh, right. Except we're being paid to make sure nobody gets it. The dragon has been very firm on that particular point. So just, you know, go away. Or we'll shoot you.

Nothing personal, you know? Everybody's gotta work."

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

"ACTIOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

Argumentus decides to get things moving, rushing for the cover of the pillar and steeling himself with a full defense.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Ahem.

The lads had discovered some goblins on a wall or something. Ranged combat being my speciality I mosied over to join them, readying an Ice Ray spell.

How ya doing, buddy?

Goblin Sharpshooters 25, Argumentus 24, Bob 21, Brigid 18, Gabriel 14, Motsognir 7

The goblin opens fire on Argumentus as he charges out, but misses completely.

Argumentus darts out, taking cover behind one of the room's three pillars. To the east a badly-wounded orc leans against the center pillar, his face full of resignation.

Bob fires off a ray of frost from the relative safety of the doorway, pegging the sniper right in the eyes.

10 damage

Brigid, Gabriel, Motsognir, Goblin Sharpshooters, Argumentus, Bob

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

stands west of Argumentus

Most amazing jew boots

Throw hammer at sharp shooter bob hit with magic, duck back behind door way to left of where brigid was.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Motsognir stayed where he was and sulked. He wasn't very helpful in ranged fights.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Okay, one run-and-freeze, one fling-and-hide, and one stand-and-pout

Gabriel flings his hammer up at the goblin. It bounces wetly off the shooter's temple and clatters down irretrievably atop the ledge.

9 damage, sharpshooter bloodied

The west sharpshooter strafes to the left, firing on the nearest visible target.

7 damage, Brigid 18/4

The center shooter fires on Argumentus, but the bolt is deflected off the pillar.

The east shooter runs along the ledge to the east, shouting for help and fleeing into a small doorway on the far end of the ledge.

From their vantage point next to the pillar, Argumentus and Brigid can more clearly see the opening into a corridor leading north.

Argumentus, Bob, Brigid, Gabriel, Motsognir, Goblin Sharpshooters

FELIPE NO

Argumentus moves to the ledge leaving an equal distance between himself and the two goblins, finishing with a full defense.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The situation was looking awkward. I was the only member of the party with an effective ranged weapon, the small child seemingly oblivious to the sling tucked into her belt. The ugly dwarf had lost his throwing hammer up the ledge and the other dwarf seemed rooted to the spot with fear, completely ignoring the ork in the room with us and the room full of dead orcs behind us, most of whom would doubtless be carrying things with sharp edges we could throw at the goblins. Whilst the big human and myself could easily reach the ledge and pull ourselves up, I could see no easy way to get the more vertically challenged members of the horde up there to attack the goblins.

Unable to stop the eastern goblin running off to get help, I blasted the same goblin with another frost ray, hoping to at least thin their numbers before their friends arrived.

Ray of Frost on the bloodied goblin, fired from a mainly peeking round the corner position.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

So, I'm a little forgetful in my age. I've forgotten more in the last week than the rest of these whipper-snappers ever knew!

That's not a good thing.

Slingshottan the goblin south of me, duck behind the pillar

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Ray of frost hits

6 damage

Slingshot misses

People move around

Game state becomes updated

Initiative is rotated

Gabriel, Motsognir, Goblin Sharpshooters, Argumentus, Bob, Brigid

Map gets linked

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The dwarf decided rage was the better part of valor, and steeling his resolve with a quick prayer to Kord, he tore on a run towards the earth-bound Goblin, let's call him Hoggle, unleashing a nasty slice with his equally nasty axe.

Run at Hoggle on diagonal.
Ring Hoggle with BOLSTERING STRIKE.
Prepare to get cut up by sharp shooters

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Motsognir continued to be absolutely useless.

do nothing

I'm pretty well out of health surges. I'm not going to go charging into death-from-above, thank you.

How ya doing, buddy?

Gabriel charges forth, and in a feat of great bravery he swiftly slays a noncombatant orc who was already bleeding to death.

"The prisoner!" shrieks a sharpshooter.

"We weren't exactly imprisoning him—"

"We beat him up and then he stayed where we told him to! That makes him a prisoner!"

Meanwhile, Motsognir is a great credit to his team.

The sharpshooters all completely fail to shoot anyone. The entire round is a massive embarrassment for everyone.

The goblin alarmist reaches his destination, and the reinforcements burst out into the northern corridor. Gabriel can just-barely see them from his location.

Argumentus, Bob, Goblin Skullcleavers, Brigid, Gabriel, Motsognir, Goblin Hexer, Goblin Sharpshooters

Most amazing jew boots

"GOT SOME COMPANY COMING FROM THE OTHER ROOM, BOYS."

FELIPE NO

Argumentus digs his fingers into the wall and attempts to scale the ledge.

Most amazing jew boots

Seeing the big chap attempting to climb up to the goblins on the ledge, I provided covering fire in the form of another icy blast. Deciding that joining him on the high ground might not be a terrible idea with reinforcements inbound, I sprinted forward, taking cover against the wall under the ledge.

Ray of Frost on not-quite-dead-yet Goblin, move to one square north of same goblin, pressed to the wall.

Jam it back in, in the dark.