[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

Almost as an afterthought, I sneaked back down the steps, ran and retrieved my bow then went back to listening at the door.

FELIPE NO

It's impossible to see through the gap between the doors; it's been covered on the opposite side by some kind of fabric. Bob hears the taunting of goblins in the distance. Closer to the door, a gruff voice shouts "Hurry up with the bandages!"

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Argumentus moves to the door, ready to rush in at a moment's notice.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Motsognir walked over to the base of the stairs. He wasn't going to be last to a fight, for once.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I made a series of hand gestures intended to convey to the Horde my intention to through the door open and slaughter everyone on the other side of it. Our run of victories had emboldened me and the chamber of goblins being on our side were slim. I raised my staff, ready to hurl fire or ice at whatever was behind the door and threw it open with a blood curdling battle cry!

How ya doing, buddy?

Bob throws open the hidden door, ripping apart the priceless tapestry concealing it.

An hulking orc stands with his back to the newly-opened doorway, resting a massive greataxe on his shoulder. He addresses a contingent of battered and bloodied orcs in the south of the room — they're gathered near a small pile of their dead brethren. A similar pile is heaped in the north doorway; a pair of growling wolves fights over the fresh meat. This room was apparently a prison; shackles dangle from massive stone blocks in the center of the chamber. The orcs have dropped torches here and there, providing adequate visibility. The shrill laughter of goblins continues to issue from beyond a doorway to the south.

"All right, boys. I think we're ready to make another push. Now remember, Gruumsh punishes the cowardly! It's important that you not run away just because — what in the nine hells?"

He whips around, regarding Bob with utter bafflement as the elf ululates threateningly.

Surprise round! Argumentus, Gabriel, Bob, Brigid, Motsognir

Tallmap is tall

How ya doing, buddy?

Argumentus charges towards the Orc leader, moving three spaces west, and attacks the Orc with a Reaping Strike

AP USED

Argumentus finds he can't stop his momentum, shifting one square west and following through with another Reaping Strike

I was speaking idiomatically.

Gabriel quickly followed behind, taking four steps forward and hurling his throwing hammer at the large orc while using HIS battle cry.

"SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

Damn my lack of not moving closer to the door.
Move forward four steps.
Throwing Hammer that mo'fucka

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Argumentus leaps into the fray, but the orc backpedals away slightly and Argumentus only lands a glancing blow.

4 damage

Capitalizing on the orc's confusion, Argumentus dodges to the side and swings again, smacking away at where he thinks the orc's kidneys might be, if orcs have kidneys. Argumentus isn't thoroughly schooled in monster anatomy.

14 damage

Gabriel hustles up the stairs, flinging his hammer at the suddenly-swarmed orc. It bounces off the enemy's skull with a pleasing sound like two coconuts smacking together.

8 damage

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Pangalin

Gabriel hustles up the stairs, flinging his hammer at the suddenly-swarmed orc. It bounces off the enemy's skull with a pleasing sound like two coconuts smacking together.

Originally Posted by Pangalin

8 damage

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I howled my battlecry, noticing with some satisfaction the look of pure horror on the face of the nearest green-skin as the lads rushed past me and commenced the all too familiar business of carving up bad guys. Feeling inspired, I blasted the beast with a debilitating ray, followed closely by an ice beam, looking to disable my foe as much as kill it.

Ray of Enfeeblement on big ork, spend an action point, Ray of Frost on same. Step back slightly into the doorway in case of javelins and so forth

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Necrotic energy streams into the orc leader, and he doubles over in agony.

7 damage, orc weakened and bloodied

Unfortunately, the enemy doubles over just as Bob follows up with a Ray of Frost; it sails right over the orc's head.

Brigid, then Soggy, and then hopefully the orcs get some opportunity to fight back

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The ice ray appears to fly over the ork's head but once again, the natural accuracy of the elves was my saviour.

Elven accuracy, re-roll Ray of Frost attack

How ya doing, buddy?

Hot damn, looks like these folks are fiendin' for feudin'. Sure is catchy, too. Ain't nothin' like surprise attacks to excite these tired old bones.

Run towards Ork, standing on the square east of him
Hot-blooded attack! Avenging Flame!
ACTION POINT
Priest's Shield attack on Ork, defense to me and Argumentus

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Damnation! Last again!

Move into room
if orc is killed by Brigid, then just stay out of the way
if orc is still alive, use action point to move to orc and Viper's Strike it

How ya doing, buddy?

Brigid hacks into the harried orc, and he abruptly bursts into flames. A chorus of oohs and aahs erupt from the mass of thugs in the south end of the room.

Critical Hit! 15 damage, orc on fire

Brigid attempts a follow-up strike but the orc is flailing too violently to get a hit in.

Motsognir charges in, but an attempt to hack apart the Demihuman Torch is once again thwarted.

sorry :/

Bob's frost ray rebounds off the far wall and smacks the panicking orc in the small of his back.

6 damage, Orc currently bloodied, slowed, weakened, on fire, and deeply humiliated

Argumentus, Orc Grunts, Wolves, Gabriel, Orc Leader, Bob, Brigid, Motsognir

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Shin

The ice ray appears to fly over the ork's head but once again, the natural accuracy of the elves was my saviour.

Elven accuracy, re-roll Ray of Frost attack

FELIPE NO

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Not wanting the Orc's death to bear any sense of dignity, Argumentus attempts to behead the poor sap with a sure strike. (yes decapitate with a hammer)

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The orc's head, by some small miracle, remains attached to his neck. It does so at an alarmingly perpendicular angle, however.

9 damage, endless shame on his lineage to the ninth generation

The nearest orc fighter shouts in dismay. "Hrimohl! No! The greatest mind of his generation, to die in such a way!"

He raises his crude wooden bludgeon and charges the party. The rest follow with him. Only the shouting orc actually manages to get close enough to do anything, but he swings his club at Argumentus with all the power granted to him by his pure fury.

Critical Hit! 5 damage, Argumentus 34/9

"Yeah! Think about that one for a while, tough guy!"

Hesitant to leave their meal, Hrimohl's wolves rush forward in an altogether-too-late defense of their master. One of them gnaws on Gabriel's ankle. It is mildly annoying.

7 damage, Gabriel 21/8

Gabriel, Orc Leader, Bob, Brigid, Motsognir, Argumentus, Orc Grunts, Wolves

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf simply shifted one step to his right to draw himself level with the creature and then unleashed his axe at the wolf's midsection.

shuffle up one square.
Bolstering Strike on bow wow

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Crunch

Gabriel caves in the wolf's ribcage. It starts coughing violently, and hacks up several fingers and a wishbone.

"Ooh!" says one of the grunts. "Dibs!"

12 damage

Still merrily burning away, Hrimohl (Hope of the Orcs, Leader of the Clan, Master of his Domain) expires and topples to the floor.

5 ongoing fire damage, and kaput.

Bob, Brigid, Motsognir, Argumentus, Orc Grunts, Wolves, Gabriel

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The orc leader fell to his knees, arms outstretched to the sky with a gurgling cry and fire consumed his body. I felt a momentary twinge of guilt, the orcs had not been bothering us really and possibly we could have found a more diplomatic solution to whatever differences we may have had. It was too late for that now, now was the time for fighting!

I peeked round the door and saw a group of orcs running up from my left. Surmising that reducing the number of attackers was our best chance of survival, I unleashed my powerful sleep spell at them.

"Look after my friend, he's dead tired" I yelled, unable to think of any suitable quotes from the many, many wonderful theatrical events I had attended to properly fit the situation. Without looking, I knew the ugly dwarf was rolling his eyes at me...

Move to doorway, cast Sleep on the middle of the southern orcs so I hit all four of them.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Now that the leader is burned to death, the rest of the orcs are a pushover.

Yet another axe-wielding maniac cut down in his prime.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Four orcs charge toward the party from the south, shouting in fury. "Vengeance for Hrimohl!"

Suddenly their charge grinds down to a gradual plod. "What were we.... damn. I could use a nap."

All four slowed, southernmost at risk of sleep

Brigid, Motsognir, Argumentus, Orc Grunts, Wolves, Gabriel, Bob

FELIPE NO