Living with Parents

I moved out when I was 18 years old. I was going to university for 5 years straight and would always spend the summer staying back home and working.

When I finished university there was period in which I was living with my parents for about a year and half but I decided to move out when I was 24 years old. I just felt like it had to be done. I felt like I had something to prove something and I wanted to establish my own independance. My mom absolutely did not want me to move out, she tried her hardest to make me stay; she even volunteered to help me pay off my student loans if it meant me staying at the house for a few more years because I tended to be the most reliable, responsible and trustworthy member of the family. As great as that sounded, I wanted to pay off that debt by myself. It felt more rewarding for me that way to take care of my own debts by myself. It was hard for the first few years with me and my fiance living together, we were barley keeping our heads above water.

I don't really hold it against people who continue to live with their parents because from my experiences a lot of people because at their current point in time their not financially stable. Obviously they need to save money to get an apartment or a house. If your helping out your parents with any financial situations or any personal problems.

The only thing I that aggravates me about people who live at home is if they live at home for the sake of only one thing and thats convienence. If someone is staying at home and they have the funds and they're in a position in their which they can make living on their own I don't see much point in staying home. Sure its great if you live at home and you don't have to look after very many bills and you get to see your parents every day.

Deep down people make their own choices in order to benefit themselves, I can't really hold them against that because its normal human nature to look after yourself first. My dad taught me a very important lesson before I had to leave to work away from anything and everything thats important to me. Life is not based upon conveience, if your not ready to sacrifice and put yourself through challenging times for the people and the things that are important to you then your not ready to make the most out of your life.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I will graduate in August of 2008 and I have been living without my parents for 3.5 years now. After graduation I have an awkward 6 months before matriculation to medical school and I will move back home during that time. I'm kinda nervous about it... my parents are pretty laid back, and I never was a wild kid. But I'm still concerned about those "rules" that come back, just because you're back under the same roof. Come home by ____. Well, why? I have been doing as I please and making it on my own since 2004. So I hope it all goes well. But I can't complain about the dinners, and spending time with family!

How ya doing, buddy?

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Are you living with the parents?

No I am married and live with my wife.

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Are you a slacker or in a somewhat peculiar situation?

No I work hard for my money and make a decent living.

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When did you leave the "nest"?

Two weeks after I turned 18 when I left for the Army

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What's the first thing you think, without knowing the details, when somone says they live with their parents (and they normally "shouldn't" be)?

I generally don't care. There is nothing wrong with living with your parents as long as you are pulling your own weight. If they are just a leech it tends to show in other aspects of their personality/attitude. So I usually end up disliking them because they are lazy fat slops who do a shitty job at work, not because they live at home.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I live with my father and Im currently graduating from high school at 19 years old. Not too bad, hopefully i will have my own place by the time Im 25.

I was speaking idiomatically.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with living with your parents as long as it isn't some ridiculous age. I currently live in an apartment, but I know people who live with their mom or dad who are single and need help around the house. Also I know people who can't afford to have their own place. If I didn't have a roommate I wouldn't be living away from my parents right now. I could only afford a small apartment in a shit neighborhood by myself, and that is not something I would do right now with Philly setting record numbers in the crime department.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I still can't see anything wrong about living with your parents, as long as you don't behave like a kid and pull your own weight, that means pay rent, contribute to food costs, etc., cook, take care of things around the house, take care of your own stuff, and so forth.

As long as you're not a passive recipient, but also an active giver, I don't see a problem with it, although I do think you are missing out on some experiences of independence if you never move out.

But again, it depends on the situation your family is in (financially and otherwise), and once and for all, there may be situations where it is required for someone to take care of your parents (e.g. for health reasons), and in that case, I think it is a good thing if you move in with them. It's extremely hard to see your parents' health (physical and mental) deteriorate, and being unable to do a thing about it, and taking care of them day after day. It hurts, and it certainly has nothing to do with "being a slacker".

FELIPE NO

I just hate it when the parents always rush the kids out of the house right when they turn 18, like they did to my sister,so now she is living with her bf in an apartment struggling on tent.

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Currently 24 and living at home.

Been in and out... Left originally at the age of 19 when I joined the military. Moved back in at 23 after finishing University.

Basically where I live, my income does not allow me to purchase a house, and I don't see the point in sinking $950 + utilities into a bachelor pad when I can just pay my parents some rent, at least then I know it's going to a better cause. Saving up for a house, but when a small condo goes for over $200k, you either gotta be making some good money, or have a nice nest egg. I just bought my new car with cash and have no debt, so I constantly put money into a savings account and $150 a week into bonds, with a little stock market playing on the side.

A group of friends will sometimes get on my case about me living at home, but it doesn't bother me. The Five of them live in a three bedroom townhouse that is not well cared for in an area I would not trust to park my car. They constantly ask me for money or if they can burrow my car, hence why I laugh when they try to downplay my living situation.

Am I a slacker? I don't think I have the right to say yes or no. I am supposedly within the top 5% for income in Canada, yet I could barely afford a small condo here. I lived with little spending money for 4 years on my own, and managed to walk away with my diploma's without debt, so when I buy a house, I want to enjoy it and make sure it's something I can be proud of. I don't want to find myself in heavy debt, living paycheck by paycheck. I want *it all* as some people put it, nice house and nice car, but I am willing to wait for it.

Edit: Apparently, the average age to move out in Ottawa is 27/28, so I am still in the norm.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I am 24 years old and I still live with my parents. No big deal in my opinion. I mean, if it's better for both sides, what's the problem. It's not so much the financial aspects (I save a lot of money, they save a lot of money), but also the ideological point of view. After I finish university, I gonna have to work and probably move somewhere else, but so far, I see no reason to leave.

Oh, and I do have a very good relation to my parents, so maybe that's the reason I don't even want to move somewhere else.

I spend most of the time at the university, which is like 15km away from my home, so I don't feel like I am abusing my parents

How ya doing, buddy?

I'm 22. I could do two things really, find a secure job, move out, live from paycheque to paycheque. Down that route lies the crushing 9-5, living for the weekend, existential crises, and ultimately, Beachy Head. Or I can remain at home where I can put most of my money into savings, meaning I never feel anchored to a job and I feel like a free man. My mum is single so she enjoys me being around, and she benefits financially too.

It's a position which has bought me untold freedom, and opened up chance opportunities, such as being able to drop everything and go galavanting off to different parts of the world for weeks at a time several times a year. I also never want for money. My friend moved out of his mothers and he's suddenly become a very boring person, since it's impossible to get him to do anything. 'Bit strapped for cash mate'. Well I'm not, and I fucking love it.

It's a great myth that flying the nest grants you independence. No, see, by moving out you have to work longer and harder, so there's no loss of dependence at all, just a transfer of dependence from parent to employer. You dick!

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Maybe independence isn't the right word, but yes, your dependence does get transferred, and this gives you experience. I'm not saying you can't have life experience if you live with your parents, but I, personally, am happy that I moved out, because I couldn't deal with the dependence my mum has on me anymore, and because I enjoy not being so dependent on her, either.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Since the poll mentioned the age 30, then I think it's kinda sad that someone would live at home with their parents. Personally, I think people need to experience the independence and freedom of living alone, I think it can really develop confidence. I don't look down on people who live with their parents at an older age, I just don't agree with it. I find living alone to be much better than at home, just for the fact I don't get the third degree about staying up late etc.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I think a lot of it simply depends on the relationship you've got with your parent(s). Do they depend on you, or do you depend on them? Is it mutual dependency? How heavy is this dependency? Do you get along well? Do you have similar values and expectations? Are you good at communicating? Are you very aloof and distant from one another, and does this result in you getting the space you need, or more conflicts? How much do your parents respect your "adulthood", and how much do you still respect them? ....

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I moved out at 17 when I went to school. The first summer I came back, the following one I was mostly at school, then last summer I came back again. The problem is I'm taking this semester off and I *hate* living here. Hopefully I'll be back in a dorm next semester and then after that it's off to the city.

Oddly enough, I've never lived alone and haven't even had a room to myself since my brother was born. And yet my mother doesn't understand why I got in the habit of staying up well after everyone's in bed, or even why I just crash in the basement sometimes. If I couldn't have that tiny notion of privacy I'd probably go crazy.

FELIPE NO

I moved out late due to lack of a decent job. At first I tried saving money by living at home, but in order for that to work I had to commute a fair distance every day, and I wound up paying a fair amount of money in car repairs and gas so it wasn't worth it.

I got nothing against people who must live at home due to circumstances, but living at home just because you don't want to be a wage slave or some bs like that, dude, that's gay. But it's cool, you're not mature enough to fly the nest, okay.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I live in my parents basement and don't plan on leaving any time soon.

My brothers have started an online web design company (out of the basement as well) and as soon as I get my skills up to speed I'll actively join in development.

No reason to be ashamed of studying and working from home. My family gets along really well, so it works out quite nicely.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I think it depends on where you live. I lived with my parents until I finished college at 25, but this was in Southern California. Housing of any kind down here is unreasonable expensive and it's difficult if not impossible for most to live here, go to college and work enough to afford even minimal living expensive without a large funnel of money from parents. My parents and I decided if they were going to have to support me, might as well do it in the cheapest way possible.

I don't really see much of an issue living with your parents as long as you aren't being a lazy shit and you are actually working towards being able to support yourself.

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If you're going to college, OK, I get living at home. Otherwise, if you're 30 and living with you're parents and their aren't any extenuating circumstances, that's just sad.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Devoxycontin

Pay for his shit when you're out on the town then since you're so comfortable.

Wouldn't want him to feel like he's not an independent man, now.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

21 right now. Planning on moving out soon.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I'm 27, and I still live with my parents.
Basically, I'm a slacker, but I do have a good, steady job; I make more than my parents, combined (hourly rate).

It does have its advantages. I'm able to save money, considering the COL in California/Bay Area, and spend money on other stuff(like put 20% into my retirement and 10% goes to my medical insurance), instead of living paycheck to paycheck. Of course, I give my parents rent money, but nothing close to what you have to pay for rent here.

I see moving out as paying more bills(the rent for the apartment), and since my parents allow me a lot of freedom, I see no reason to move out. And most of my friends still live with their parents, because it's easier on them (financially), even though they make a good or great salary.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I'm 23 and live with my parents, which seems to be the norm among most of the Asians (and even non-Asians)I know. I lived in the dorms and then an apartment while in college then moved back home. It's just cheaper, but I help out around the house as well as pay some of the bills, since I make it rain and all. The drawback is that I live about 1.5 hours from work, so the commute is a bitch; but I'll be starting the hunt for a closer place soon.

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I am financially able to live on my own, but leaving home feels like I am abandoning my mother to a life where she has to work a full-time job on top of acting as the primary caretaker of my grandmother. Though independence is certainly appealing, I feel I cannot act otherwise until I fulfill those duties and responsibilities which I have as a son and a grandson.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?