Forum Game: Corrupt Wish

Originally Posted by Chaotic

I wish that people on another board I'm doing this at would actually remember to make a wish...

Some magical power grants your wish. The posters begin including wishes. The wishes, however, are in a language you don't understand. Thus, people begin posting wishes, but no one is able to corrupt them.

I wish I had a working flamethrower.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Granted, but you burn while trying to figure out the mechanics of the flamethrower.

I wish I had a corn dog.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by Chaotic

Granted, but you burn while trying to figure out the mechanics of the flamethrower.

I wish I had a corn dog.

Wish granted. However, it turns out to be a rabid corn dog and it bites you first. You try to ask for a rabies shot, but the doctors say, "Do you think we're that dumb?" and ignore your pleas for a rabies shot. It doesn't end well.

I wish China would stop killing innocent dogs b/c of a rabies threat.

How ya doing, buddy?

You do have a corn dog, but unfortunately your girlfriend thought it would be fun to get kinky with a corn dog and it ends up... well... somewhere where you don't want it.

:EDIT:
Instead of killing the dogs, they begin deporting them to Japan illegally, and soon the entire island turns rabid, and we never see Wii, PS3, MGS4 or FFXIII...


I wish that Shin would bring sexy back.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Your wish is granted, but Shin is transformed into Justin Timberlake.

I wish the world would go away.

FELIPE NO

Granted, but in a "The Big Bang" it starts all over again.

I wish The Hulk would get over the fact that the flower is stronger than him.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

wish granted, but then you tell the hulk and he goes on rampage, ending civilization as we know it.

I wish I was being given more shit to do at work.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Digital_Divider

.

I wish I was being given more shit to do at work.

Granted, you are given so much work that it overwhelms you. You lose your job, and your life slowly spirals out of control from there.


I wish I had a really cool hat.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Wish granted.

However, this hat is literally "really cool," below freezing in fact. After putting the hat on your head, it gets frozen to your scalp, and you can't take it off. After trying desperately to get it off, your brain starts to gradually freeze. First your physical coordination goes awry, and then your senses start to freeze up and you go blind and deaf, etc. Before your last throes of agony, you are a drooling, incoherent vegetable of a man, and nobody dares come close to you due to the stench surrounding you, as you lose all intestinal and bladder control.

Finally, you die a miserable, although fortunately painless, death.


I wish I had the ability to get up as soon as my alarm clock goes off.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Granted, you now awaken everyday with full vitality. Your production goes up, and after several promotions you eventually take over whatever place you work at. Basking in your newfound glory, you realize something...if I can accomplish this by merely waking up on time...what if I got up early! You reset your alarm clock, and get up earlier, lather rinse repeat. Pretty soon you are only getting 2 minutes of sleep a day. After 2 months of this, you persish a horribly boring and lame death.


I wish that I was taller

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Wish granted.

Your skeleton immediately begins to grow to suit your desired height and then some. However, this change is too sudden for your tendons and muscles to handle, and each organ, one by one, tears off of their mountings on your frame. You would writhe in pain if you could, but that only speeds up the muscle-tearing process. In the end, your bones have grown beyond any possible healing that could have been done by the best doctors, and your are resigned to a bed for the rest of your life.

I wish that people would come up with more creative wishes in this thread.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by packrat

I wish that people would come up with more creative wishes in this thread.

Granted. However, they become so creative that it draws the attention of Hollywood and the GFFer's that have developed this ability are kidnapped and wisked away to Hollywood. They have so much work to do--and make so much money--that they soon ignore the forum completely and it is taken over by a bunch of jocks who only talk by using the word "fag" and women who talk about which Owens twin is hotter. Even the lame gaming forums are laughing at GFF and Bobo falls into shock over how bad the forum IQ has dropped and is shipped off to Pluto. And the monkeys continue to dance.

I wish I had telekinetic powers.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Wish granted.

However, your telekinetic powers are too powerful and realize that you cannot control it. You can hear everyone's thought within a one mile radius, even during the night. You are unable to sleep and go insane.

I wish Gamingforce Xchange would come back.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Visavi

I wish I had telekinetic powers

Granted. But at the price of your new powers you go mentaly insane and commit suicide. But the insanity lasts into the afterlife.


I wish I wasn't lazy so I could get of my butt and lose wieght.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Visavi

I wish I had telekinetic powers.

Wish granted, but your powers are too much to control, and you cause the houses of these people who don't know the difference between telekinetic and telepathic to come crashing down upon them.

I wish I had a nearly prophetic talent of foresight.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Visavi

I wish I had telekinetic powers.

Originally Posted by Hyde

However, your telekinetic powers are too powerful and realize that you cannot control it. You can hear everyone's thought within a one mile radius, even during the night. You are unable to sleep and go insane.

Originally Posted by Yeldarb

Granted. But at the price of your new powers you go mentaly insane and commit suicide. But the insanity lasts into the afterlife.

Originally Posted by uacoop

Wish granted, but your powers are too much to control, and you cause the houses of these people who don't know the difference between telekinetic and telepathic to come crashing down upon them.

I'm gonna go ahead a laugh. That was awesome.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by uacoop

I wish I had a nearly prophetic talent of foresight.

Granted, but you forsee everything that is to come, and go insane from information overload.

I wish I would graduate from college.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by ORLY

I wish I would graduate from college.

Wish granted.

The courses you chose turn out to be completely incompatable with any actual job. You end up homeless and in Vancouver, where you beg for change at Canucks games. You get so depressed hanging around Canucks' fans that you kill yourself.

I wish I could travel through solid matter like in The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Granted. Unfortunately, you end up getting pulled by gravity into the ground the very first time you test this new power. Since you can't stop moving through the ground without your arteries getting clogged by dirt, and your head filled with rocks(literally), you keep going deeper towards the center of the earth, where you eventually settle at the core. Knowing that there is nothing more to do for the remainder of your now severely truncated life, you make peace with your maker and allow yourself to contribute to the suspected fusion reaction that occurs at the planet's center.

I wish for more wishes.

I was speaking idiomatically.

granted... you get more wishes, but they don't come true :P *empty wishes*

I wish that I could read minds

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Granted!!!!!!!!!!!

You learn how to read people's minds, but you become so addicted to listening to everyone's boring and dull lives you lose all sense of direction in your life. The fact of hearing what random people like to eat and wear during the morning sends you on a downward spiral of insanity. Then out of curiosity you decide to read your own mind, and whole shock of wondering why you wished to read other people's minds in the first place makes your head explode.


I wish stupid/shallow people would be put on an island and be forced to kill each other off Battle Royale style.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Angel Of Light

I wish stupid/shallow people would be put on an island and be forced to kill each other off Battle Royale style.

Wish granted.
However, the selection of who goes and who doesn't is based on criteria set down by LeHah.
You are amongst those people sent to the island.
Better start practicing your knife skills.


I wish I could stop, or at least slow down, time around me, so that I have more time to get all the work done that I need to get done.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by packrat

I wish I could stop, or at least slow down, time around me, so that I have more time to get all the work done that I need to get done.

This wish is granted. However, your powers go out of control. You start slowing down time more than you want. Eventually, it freezes altogether. You are now the only person not frozen. You are truly alone.

I wish I would live to see the end.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

^
Wish Granted.

Unfortunately, the end for you is now. Bye. (Anvil drops from the sky.)
(You didn't specify the end of what, did you?)

I wish I'm dead.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

wish granted. however you die. neither heaven nor hell accept your soul. You don't just simply cease to exist though. your soul flows back into your rotting shell of flesh and you wander the earth, forsaken. People obviously try to kill you what with being the undead and all, but now, no matter how maimed you are, you cannot die as you are already dead.

I wish I had enough money to buy whatever I wanted at the rennaissance festival... without taking out a loan.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.